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Bamboozled (2000)

by Spike Lee.

More info about this movie on IMDb.com


FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY


BLACK SCREEN

We HEAR the voice of MALCOLM X.

		MALCOLM X (V.O.)
	You've been hoodwinked.  You've
	been had.  You've been took.
	You've been led astray, run amok.
	You've been bamboozled.

His followers ROAR.

CUT TO TITLE:

"BAMBOOZLED"

CUT TO CRAWL:

WHITE LETTERS ON BLACK

WE HEAR the VOICE of PIERRE DELACROIX.

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	Satire.  1a.  A literary work in
	which human vice or folly is
	ridiculed or attacked scornfully.
	B.  The branch of literature that
	composes such work.  2.  Irony,
	derision or caustic wit used to
	attack or expose folly, vice or
	stupidity.

INT. APARTMENT - MORNING

WE are in the living quarters of PIERRE DELACROIX.  The
windows overlook the Brooklyn Promenade and the majestic
lower Manhattan skyline.

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	Bonjour, my name is Pierre Delacroix.
	I'm a television writer, also a
	showrunner, a creative person.

We see a tall figure move in and around the space.

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	I'm one of those people responsible
	for what you view on your idiot box.

CLOSE ON

Monogrammed cuff sleeve - the initials P.D.

								2.


		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	The problem is not enough of you
	have been watching.

CLOSE ON

Monogrammed shirt pocket - the initials P.D.

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	With the onslaught of the internet,
	video and interactive games, nine
	hundred channels to choose from and
	whatnot, our valued audience has
	dramatically eroded.

CLOSE ON

Razor cuts a path through a white foam on a black face.

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	To put it in much more simple
	terms...

Delacroix YELLS.

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	Like rats fleeing a sinking ship.

CLOSE ON

The handsome face of Pierre Delacroix.

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	People tuning out by the millions.

Delacroix turns to the CAMERA and addresses US.

		DELACROIX (CONT'D)
	Which is not good.

EXT. TENEMENT - LOWER EAST SIDE - MORNING

The tenement building is boarded up, condemned, bombed out,
but a home, a shelter nonetheless.

INT. TENEMENT - MORNING

People to our surprise live in here.  It is a commune.  The
homeless, people who have been left out, forgot about,
written off, and don't matter.  The fringes of society.

CHEEBA, a skinny Puerto Rican male, tries to wake a
slumbering body under a mass of old newspapers.

								3.


		CHEEBA
	Yo, let's get to it.  You don't
	dance, we don't eat.  Simple as that.

The mass begins to move.

		CHEEBA (CONT'D)
	That's right.  We slow.  We blow.
	We snooze.  We lose.

INT. CNS TOWER - MORNING

MANRAY, a young African-American dread-lock male, and Cheeba
are getting set up in front of the entrance to the
CONTINENTAL NETWORK SYSTEM building.  CNS is one of the
fledgling, upstart new networks, trying to battle with ABC,
NBC, CBS, FOX, WB, and UPN.

ANGLE ON

Entrance.  Cheeba is putting the portable floor down on the
sidewalk.  Manray sits on the curb, taking the sneakers off
and putting on his tap shoes; bottle caps are on the soles
of the shoes instead of real taps.

		CHEEBA
	Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
	I know everybody is in a hurry to
	work, ready to begin another day in
	this rat race.  But don't sleep us.
	I'm Cheeba and I introduce to you
	the world renown MANRAY, the man
	with the educated feet.

Manray takes a small bow.  A few, not many, people have
stopped to look.

		CHEEBA (CONT'D)
	As we continue our world wind tour,
	we would like to give you a little
	somethin', somethin' before you go
	off to make that money.  I give you
	Manray.

CLOSE ON

Manray, who starts to do his thing, and when he starts doing
his thing attention must be paid.

ANGLE ON

Crowd, as Manray gets busy, people gather to watch.

ANGLE ON

								4.


Delacroix, he is about to walk into the CNS building but
stops to check out Manray.

CLOSE ON

Manray, he pounds out some intricate steps and freezes at
the end of the move.

ANGLE ON

Crowd, who applaud as Cheeba unfolds a brown shopping bag
and holds it out in front of them.

		CHEEBA (CONT'D)
	Thank you very much but please
	don't go without giving us some
	cheddar, cheese, money.  We prefer
	two's than fews.

People are digging into their pockets.

		CHEEBA (CONT'D)
	I would like to add that both of us
	are homeless.  Not that it means
	anything.

A WOMAN is about to dump some change in the brown paper bag.

		CHEEBA (CONT'D)
	I said homeless.  Ladies and
	gentlemen.  Senorita, do you know
	what that means?

Cheeba looks at her and she quickly pulls out a 5-spot from
her purse and drops it into the bag.

		CHEEBA (CONT'D)
	Muchos gracias.

Cheeba works his way over to Delacroix.

		DELACROIX
	Good morning, Cheeba.

		CHEEBA
	Good morning to you, Mr. Delapot.

		DELACROIX
	De-la-croix.

		CHEEBA
	Y'know what I mean.  Got a gig yet
	for Manray and I yet?

								5.


		DELACROIX
	Not yet.

Delacroix hands Cheeba a ten dollar bill.

		CHEEBA
	Gracias.

Delacroix moves towards the revolving doors of CNS.

		DELACROIX
	Manray, Sloan says you're too
	talented to be dancing on the street.

		MANRAY
	Well do something about it.

INT. ELEVATOR - MORNING

Delacroix is the lone person of color in the elevator.

INT. CNS - MORNING

Delacroix gets off the elevator, takes out his ID, slips it
through the scanner and enters the reception area of CNS.

		DELACROIX
	Good morning, Marie.

		MARIE
	It's not gonna be a good morning
	for you if you don't get into
	Dunwitty's staff meeting.

		DELACROIX
	What staff meeting?

		MARIE
	The staff meeting that started 30
	minutes ago.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - MORNING

Delacroix walks, or better yet, slithers into the staff
meeting that is already in progress.  TWENTY WRITERS sit
around an oval table, all are Caucasian except Delacroix,
again he's the lone person of color, the "fly in the
buttermilk."

DUNWITTY, Senior V.P. of the Entertainment Division of CNS
looks at Delacroix and waits for him to sit down before he
continues.

								6.


		DUNWITTY
	Monsieur Delacroix, this very
	important meeting commenced...

Dunwitty looks at his Rolex Chronograph - Daytona Model.

		DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
	...exactly thirty-two minutes ago.

		DUNWITTY
	I'm sorry I'm late.

		DUNWITTY
	Do you know how much information
	can be dispensed in one minute alone?

		DELACROIX
	I didn't find out about this very
	important staff meeting until...

Delacroix looks at his Jaeger-LeCoultre.

		DELACROIX (CONT'D)
	Four minutes ago.

		DUNWITTY
	So are you telling me everyone knew
	about this get-together except you?

		DELACROIX
	I wasn't told about this until
	Marie informed me as soon as I got
	off the elevator.

All eyes are on Delacroix and he feels it.

		DUNWITTY
	People, you can attempt to pull a
	Rodman like our friend Delacroix,
	but I guarantee you'll be sent
	packing just like him.

Dunwitty via remote turns off the lights and turns on an
overhead projector.

		DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
	These are the standings.  Read 'em
	and weep.  As you can plainly see
	the Continental Network System is
	languishing.

CLOSE ON

Ratings charts.

								7.


		DUNWITTY (O.S.) (CONT'D)
	Look at 'em people.  We are BOOTY,
	CA CA.  We are DOO-DOO.  Doo-doo on
	a stick, if you will.

CLOSE ON

Dunwitty.

		DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
	I do not like to be the laughing
	stock of the broadcast industry.  I
	have pride and people, you better
	start getting some too.  These
	numbers have to go up.

Dunwitty turns on the lights.  JOAN, one of the writers,
raises her hand.

		DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
	Question?

		JOAN
	So what do you want us to do?

		DUNWITTY
	What I want everyone to do is write
	some material that is FUNNY.  The
	junk you've been writing is about
	as funny as a dead baby.  It's not
	funny, it's not new.  It's not sexy.
	It, it, it...

CLOSE ON

Fish.

		FISH
	Sucks.

ANGLE ON

Conference room.

		DUNWITTY
	SUCKS.  Thank you, Fish.  This
	meeting is over but I want everyone
	to seriously think about what I
	said and how you can deliver.

People scurry out.

		DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
	Monsieur Delacroix, in my office now.

								8.


INT. HALLWAY - MORNING

The writers, beat down, come out of the conference room and
move past SLOAN HOPKINS, a highly attractive African-
American "sistuh."

Delacroix sees Sloan and holds her arm as they walk.  He
talks under his breath.

		SLOAN
	How was it?

		DELACROIX
	Why didn't you tell me about this
	staff meeting?

		SLOAN
	Nobody told me anything.

		DELACROIX
	What good are you if you don't tell
	me stuff like this?

		SLOAN
	It wasn't my fault.  If I would
	have known, I would have known.

INT. DUNWITTY'S OFFICE - MORNING

Delacroix enters his corner office, which has huge action
photos of ALI, JORDAN, GRIFFEY, TYSON, AARON and JABBAR on
his walls, it is also decorated with African art throughout.

ANGLE ON

Office.  Dunwitty looks at the floor-to-ceiling windows
overlooking mid-town Manhattan.

		DUNWITTY
	Do you know what C.P. Time is?

		DELACROIX
	C.P. Time is Colored People's Time.
	The stereotypical belief that
	Negroes are always late.  That
	Negroes have no sense of time -
	time except when it comes to music
	or dance.

They both laugh.

		DUNWITTY
	Let's sit down over there.

								9.


Dunwitty and Delacroix sit on the sofa.

		DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
	I'm sorry about my blowup but I
	have to have a whipping boy every
	meeting.

		DELACROIX
	I understand.  But again, in all
	honesty I was not informed.

		DUNWITTY
	Forget it.  I believe you're my
	most creative person I've got on
	staff.  You're hip.  You know
	what's happening.  I got some corny
	white boys and girls writing for me.

Delacroix doesn't join him in his laughter because he
doesn't know how to take that comment or where Dunwitty is
headed with it.

		DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
	I understand Black culture.  I grew
	up around black people all my life.
	If the truth be told I probably
	know "niggers" better than you,
	Monsieur Delacroix.  Please don't
	get offended by my use of the
	quote-unquote N word.  I got a
	black wife and three bi-racial
	children, so I feel I have a right
	to use that word.  I don't give a
	damn what Spike says, Tarantino is
	right.  Nigger is just a word.  If
	Dirty Ole Bastard can use it every
	other word so can I.

		DELACROIX
	I would prefer you not use that
	word in my presence.

		DUNWITTY
	NIGGER.  NIGGER.  NIGGER.  NIGGER.

Delacroix pounces on top of Dunwitty like a cat on a mouse
and gives him a quick BROOKLYN BEAT DOWN.

		DELACROIX
	Say it again.  C'mon, say it again.

CLOSE ON

Dunwitty.  He's a bloody pulp.

								10.


CLOSE ON

Delacroix.

He straightens his tie.

		DELACROIX (CONT'D)
	Who's a nigger now?

POW.  This is a fantasy in Delacroix's mind.  We go BACK TO
REALITY.  Everything's how we left it.

		DUNWITTY
	The material you've been creating
	is too white bread.  White people
	with black faces.  The Huxtable's,
	Cosby, revolutionary.  But that's
	dead.  We can't go down that road
	again.

		DELACROIX
	I don't agree.  The Negro middle
	class does exist, and it's rich
	material for a dramatic series or
	sitcom.

		DUNWITTY
	I'm telling you it's not.

He goes to his desk, picks up Delacroix's scripts and starts
throwing them one by one against the window.

		DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
	The middle class black family moves
	into a white suburban enclave.  The
	middle class black family moves
	into a small Southern town that is
	run by the KKK.  The middle class
	single black father raises his
	teenage daughter.  The middle class
	single black father raises his
	teenage daughter.  The middle class
	single black mother raises her
	teenage son.  And so on and so
	forth.  It's too clean, too
	antiseptic...

		DELACROIX
	...to white?  I still feel all of
	my scripts would make good shows.

								11.


		DUNWITTY
	Delacroix, wake up, brother man.
	The reason why they didn't get
	picked up was because nobody - and
	I mean NOBODY - niggers and crackers
	alike wants to see that junk.

		DELACROIX
	I've never been given a fair shot.

		DUNWITTY
	You got your head stuck up your ass
	with your Harvard education and
	your pretentious ways.  Brother
	man, I'm blacker than you.  I'm
	keepin' it real and you're frontin',
	trying to be white.

		DELACROIX
	I'm an oreo, a sell out?  Because I
	don't aspire to do HOMEBOYS FROM
	OUT OF SPACE, SECRET DIARY OF
	DESMOND PFEIFFER, A PJ's or some as
	you might put it, some "nigger"
	show?  I'm a Tom?  I'm whiter than
	white and you're blacker than black?
	Is that what you think?

		DUNWITTY
	That's exactly what I think.  I
	want you to create something that
	people want to see.  Let's be
	honest, the majority of the people
	in the country are deaf, dumb and
	blind and I'm including 35 million
	African-Americans.  You know and I
	know "niggers" set the trend, set
	the styles.  This is a golden
	opportunity now.  These idiots have
	to be led to the water.

		DELACROIX
	I'm not sure if I can deliver what
	you want.

		DUNWITTY
	You will or you'll be back at BET
	so quick you'll never know what hit
	you.  I need a mid-season
	replacement and pronto.  It will be
	on the fast track.

								12.


		DELACROIX
	What is it you want from me?  Some
	plantation follies?  Some sitcom
	that takes place on a watermelon
	patch?  Some show that follows four
	nigger generations of junkies and
	crackheads?  You want me to go back
	to the ante bellum days?

		DUNWITTY
	Yes!  Yes!  Yes!  I want a show
	that will make headlines, that will
	have millions and millions of
	households tuned in, glued to their
	televisions every week.  I want
	advertisers dying to buy on this
	show.  I'm gonna squeeze this show
	out of you if it kills you.

EXT. TENEMENT - NIGHT

WE SEE a street lamp, and coming out of it are some wires.
WE FOLLOW the wires into a tenement building.

The residents have tapped into a street light courtesy of
CON EDISON for power.

INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT

Cheeba stands in front of the makeshift kitchen, which
includes a hot plate, and prepares a gourmet meal of a tasty
Spanish dish.  The clean apartment is furnished with stuff
people have thrown out that they picked up on the street.

		MANRAY
	I'm starvin' like Marvin.

		CHEEBA
	My world famous, famous world Arroz
	con pollo will be ready very soon.

		MANRAY
	Hurry up, I wanna watch HBO.

		CHEEBA
	Did we get our bill yet?

They both laugh.

		MANRAY
	I guess that will come with the
	rent, gas, and Con Ed bills, too.

								13.


		CHEEBA
	Ahh, the luxuries of life.

		MANRAY
	Yo, check it.  This is good and all
	that but one day soon I want to
	have much Benjamins so I can have a
	nice crib and pay all my bills.
	You hear me.

		CHEEBA
	Chill, I'm the brains behind this
	outfit.

		MANRAY
	And I'm the feet.

		CHEEBA
	Yo, you gotta show some patience.
	You want me to snap my fingers and
	presto chango - you're an overnight
	sensation.  Son, there is no such
	thing.

		MANRAY
	I'm tired of waiting.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

He sits in front of a large flat-screen television, watching
the Yankee game and eating his takeout Chinese food.  On top
of the monitor, he has attached a sign that reads "FEED THE
IDIOT BOX."

INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT - NIGHT

She sits in front of her television, hand on remote, flipping
channels and eating takeout Chinese food.

INT. CHEEBA AND MANRAY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

They both are devouring the chicken with rice, as they watch
bootleg HBO.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Delacroix sits at his desk, a ream of white bond paper in
front of him, a box of number-two pencils and an electric
pencil sharpener.

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	I was never good at performing
	under the gun.

								14.


CLOSE

Pencil after pencil gets inserted and sharpened to a knife
like point.

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	Well, this wasn't a gun, it was a
	bazooka and it was pressed dead
	blank right against my dome.

CLOSE ON

Delacroix, staring at the blank ream of paper.  It is very
intimidating.

CLOSE ON

Monitor.  Bernie Williams is at the plate for the New York
Yankees.

CLOSE ON

Sign atop monitor.  Again, it reads "FEED THE IDIOT BOX."

INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT

She too is blank.  A screen saver bobs and weaves on her
laptop.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT

Delacroix grabs a pencil and put it to paper.

CLOSE ON

Paper.  He doodles.

INT. TENEMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

Manray screws out the bare light bulb which is the sole
source of illumination and lays down onto his mattress on
the floor.

INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT

Sloan closes her laptop and jumps into her bed.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT

Delacroix is already in the bed, the lights are out.

CLOSE ON

Delacroix, who's wide awake.

								15.


INT. TENEMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

Manray and Cheeba are both sound asleep.

CLOSE ON

Cheeba, he has a sheet pulled over his head.

CLOSE ON

Manray, who's sawing logs, snoring loudly.

OFF-SCREEN, WE HEAR A RUCKUS, A BIG COMMOTION.  VOICES
yelling.  Police sirens, cars and trucks.

ANGLE ON

Apartment.  Cheeba and Manray run to the window and look out.

THEIR POV

The street is filled with police cars, vans and wagons.
Helicopters hover overhead with their searchlights on the
building.

		CHEEBA
	Oh snap!  It's a raid!

Cheeba and Manray jump into their cloths.

EXT. TENEMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

Cops in riot gear storm into the tenement.  A police chief
barks over a speaker system.

		POLICE CHIEF
	Please evacuate this building.  All
	of you are illegal residents of
	this condemned building.  Please
	leave immediately, by order of the
	Mayor of New York City, Rudolph
	Giuliani.

INT. TENEMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

Stairwell.  It's bedlam.  The hundreds of SQUATTERS who have
been living here all making a bad dash trying to flee the
NYPD as they "bumrush the show."

ANGLE ON

Floor.  Cheeba and Manray try to push against the crowd.

								16.


		CHEEBA
	Not this way.  Out through the fire
	escape.

The COPS are running up the staircase.  People try to escape
with as many of their belongings that they can hold.

		MANRAY
	My tap shoes.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT

		DELACROIX
	EUREKA!!

He jumps out of bed.

INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT

		SLOAN
	Oh my God!!!

She too jumps out of bed.

EXT. TENEMENT BUILDING

It is a MADHOUSE, BEDLAM.  It's PANDEMONIUM.  The Squatters
are being seized as soon as they come out of the tenement.
Searchlights go back and forth, as the cops make their
arrests and fill the "Paddy" wagons.

ANGLE ON

Street.  The Squatters are like ROACHES in a dark kitchen at
night, scrambling as the lights turn on.  Do you remember
those old "RAID" commercials.  "Let's scram, IT'S RAID!!!"

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

The phone rings.

CUT TO SPLIT SCREEN

CU OF DELACROIX AND SLOAN

Delacroix picks it up.  They yell in unison.

		DELACROIX
	Manray!

		SLOAN
	Manray!

								17.


		DELACROIX
	How did you know?

		SLOAN
	It hit me like a ton of bricks.

		DELACROIX
	How can this be?  You and me at the
	same time, the exact same thought.
	It's scary.

		SLOAN
	The idea was out there in the
	universe.  Now what?

INT. TENEMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

Cheeba and Manray run down the fire escape and just elude a
group of cops.

ANGLE ON

Fence.  They lay still as the Fuzz run past them.

		MANRAY
	We ran out without my shoes and the
	floor.  I gotta get my stuff.  What
	about our savings?

		CHEEBA
	Are you crazy?  The joint is
	crawling with cops now.  You wanna
	go to Rikers?  Go to the hoosegow?

Manray looks at his friend, he knows he is right, at least
this time.

EXT. CNS BUILDING - EARLY MORNING

Delacroix and Sloan sip hot coffee as they stand in front of
their office building.

		DELACROIX
	Manray was under our nose the whole
	time.

		SLOAN
	Do you know how you will use him?

		DELACROIX
	Not yet, but this thing will never
	get made.

								18.


		SLOAN
	You lost me.

		DELACROIX
	Dunwitty wants a Coon show.  And
	that's what I'm going to give him,
	it's going to be so racist, so
	negative, he won't have the balls
	to put it on the air.  Hence I'll
	prove my point.

		SLOAN
	What point is that?

		DELACROIX
	The point being that him, the
	networks don't want Black people on
	television unless they are buffoons.

		SLOAN
	Sounds risky to me.

		DELACROIX
	You getting cold feet?

		SLOAN
	I'm in till the end.

		DELACROIX
	Good.  I'm going to need your
	support.

		SLOAN
	Can't you just quit?  Walk away?

		DELACROIX
	And lose out on my money?  The only
	way I get paid is if I get fired.
	And that's what I intend to do.

EXT. CNS BUILDING - NEW DAY

It is pouring rain and Delacroix and Sloan huddle under an
umbrella.

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	Everything was going according to
	plan.  I was working on the outline.
	Dunwitty was off my back for now.

CLOSE ON

Delacroix.

								19.


		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	But there was a catch.  A big catch.

CLOSE ON

Sloan.

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	Manray and Cheeba were nowhere to
	be found.

EXT. GRAND CENTRAL STATION - DAY

Manray and Cheeba are soaking wet.  They stand together in a
doorway, trying to stay out of the elements.

ANGLE ON

Street.  They run in the downpour.

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	It was like they had disappeared
	off the face of the earth.

CLOSE ON

Cheeba.

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	I had no contact numbers, no
	address, no beeper.

CLOSE ON

Manray.

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	No nuthin', no clues...

EXT. CNS BUILDING - NEXT MORNING

It is a sunny and pleasant morning.  Again, Sloan and
Delacroix hold vigil.

		SLOAN
	Maybe something happened to them.
	Maybe they're lying in an alley
	bleed to death.

		DELACROIX
	Manray better not be bleeding to
	death.  I need him.  After we're
	done he can do whatever he wants to
	do, until then, he's ours.

								20.


		SLOAN
	You're beginning to sound like
	Dunwitty.

EXT. TENEMENT BUILDING - MORNING

Manray and Cheeba stand across the street from their former
residence.  All of the doors and windows have been boarded
up and two cops stand watch.  They both look defeated, dirty
and hungry.

INT. CNS LOBBY - NEXT DAY

Sloan gets off the elevator and sees a skirmish.  TWO
SECURITY GUARDS are trying to escort Manray and Cheeba out
of the building.

		CHEEBA
	His name is Delapoint.

		SECURITY GUARD #1
	WE have no one by that name.

		CHEEBA
	Delapot.  Dela-something.

		SECURITY GUARD #2
	De La Soul ain't here either.
	Let's go.  Out.  Off the premises.

Manray turns around and sees Sloan.

		MANRAY
	Sloan!  She knows us.

The security guard stops.

		SLOAN
	It's alright.  They are associates
	of Mr. Delacroix.

		SECURITY GUARD #1
	Sorry, Ms. Hopkins.  They both
	walked in off the street without an
	appointment.

		SECURITY GUARD #2
	Do you need an escort?

		SLOAN
	That won't be needed.

								21.


INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - DAY

He sits in front of his TV and watches a tape of the old
"Amos 'n' Andy" show.  Sloan leads Manray and Cheeba in.

		DELACROIX
	Eureka!  Where've you been?

He hugs them both.

		DELACROIX (CONT'D)
	Sloan and I have been looking all
	over for you.

		CHEEBA
	You'd take no offense if we called
	you DeLa for short?

		DELACROIX
	No offense.

		CHEEBA
	Manray needs a job.

Delacroix smiles at Sloan.

		MANRAY
	We got evicted from our home.
	We've both been on the streets for
	the last week.

		CHEEBA
	We was coming to see you.

		MANRAY
	If it's not too much trouble could
	you order us some food?

		CHEEBA
	We're starving.

		DELACROIX
	I apologize.  What would you like
	to eat?  Anything you want.

TIME CUT

INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - DAY

A feast of McDonald's is taking place.  Cheeba and Manray
are stuffing Big Macs, Fish Deluxes and large french fries
into their mouths.  They were famished.

								22.


		DELACROIX
	I have this concept for a TV pilot.
	There's no guarantee it will get
	made but regardless, you'll still
	make some money.

		CHEEBA
	How much?

		DELACROIX
	First things first.  I have to know
	if Manray is up for this.

		MANRAY
	What do I have to do?

		DELACROIX
	Some tap dancing, some singing.

		MANRAY
	Where do I sign?

		CHEEBA
	What kind of show is this gonna be?

		DELACROIX
	Different.

		MANRAY
	How different?

		DELACROIX
	Trust me.  Of course I still have
	to pitch it to my boss, but we'll
	have an answer one way or the other.

		MANRAY
	DeLa, I'm aboard.  As long as I get
	to hoof and get paid too!!!

		DELACROIX
	That's right.  Money turns the wheel.

		CHEEBA
	What about in the mean time?  Not
	the in between time?

		DELACROIX
	You'll both get an advance and you
	can stay with me.

		MANRAY
	Bet.

								23.


		DELACROIX
	I would like to change your name.

		MANRAY
	To what?

		DELACROIX
	You're now Mantan.

		MANRAY
	Mantan?  I don't even care as long
	as I'm dancing.  Which reminds me,
	I need some new kicks.

EXT. BROADWAY - DAY

Manray holds two Capezio shopping bags of shoes as he walks
next to Sloan.

		MANRAY
	I never had a really real pair
	before.

		SLOAN
	You've never had any formal
	training, either?

		MANRAY
	Not a class, not a thing, just
	picked stuff up by myself.

		SLOAN
	I wish I had your natural talent.
	God only makes that visit once in a
	while.

		MANRAY
	You sing and dance?

		SLOAN
	A little.  I just graduated from
	NYU film school.  Cinema studies.

		MANRAY
	So what's up with you and DeLa?

		SLOAN
	What do you mean?

		MANRAY
	Are you and him kicking it?
	Knocking boots.
	Y'knowwhatI'mtalkin'bout.

								24.


		SLOAN
	No, we're not knocking boots.  I
	got this internship while I still
	was at NYU, DeLa was impressed with
	my get up and go and hired me to be
	his assistant.

		MANRAY
	I'm sure that was the only thing he
	was impressed with.  You look
	beautiful like that.

		SLOAN
	If that was suppose to be a
	compliment, I thank you.

		MANRAY
	You're welcome.  You shouldn't give
	up on performing.

		SLOAN
	Why do you say that?  You've never
	seen me.

		MANRAY
	I think that would probably make
	you the happiest.  When I'm hoofing,
	I mean really doing my thing,
	hitting it, nothing compares to
	that feeling in the world.

		SLOAN
	I envy you.  That's the way I want
	to feel about my work.

EXT. HARLEM STREET - NIGHT

Sloan walks from the subway to her block.

ANGLE ON

Street.  A huge black Chevy Suburban follows her, all the
windows are tinted jet black, you cannot see it all into it.
She notices the vehicle and starts to walk faster.

ANGLE ON

Corner.  As Sloan tries to cross at the corner, the Suburban
pulls up in front of her, blocking her path.

ANGLE ON

Suburban.  A tall black man jumps out of the Chevy.  This is
BIG BLACK.

								25.


		BIG BLACK
	Li'l Sister.

ANGLE ON

Corner.

		SLOAN
	You idiot.  You almost gave me a
	massive coronary.

		BIG BLACK
	I didn't mean to scare you like that.

		SLOAN
	Well you did.

		BIG BLACK
	Give me some?

		SLOAN
	I'm not huggin' you in the middle
	of the street.  You must be crazy,
	Julius.

		BIG BLACK
	Whoa, hold up li'l sis'.  I done
	told you 'bout that.  Julius ain't
	my name, you better recognize
	Hopkins was our slave name.  My
	true name is...

		SLOAN
	I'm not callin you Big Black Africa.
	Mommy and Daddy named you Julius.

		BIG BLACK
	BIG BLACK is the first name and
	AFRICA is the last.

He hugs her, she becomes lost in his huge arms and laughs.

INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT - NIGHT

Big Black is rummaging through his sister's refrigerator.

		BIG BLACK
	Damn, Sis, you don't keep no food
	up in here in dis' piece.

		SLOAN
	I order out mostly.  So what do I
	owe this visit to?

								26.


		BIG BLACK
	My group we need some exposure.
	Was wondering if you could hook a
	brother up?

		SLOAN
	Hook you up?  The Mau-Mau's?  You
	must be smoking.  Why in the world
	would I want to hook up a bunch of
	red, black and green flag-waving
	pseudo revolutionairies?

		BIG BLACK
	So now I see where you're coming
	from.  Just because we ain't
	rapping about Gucci, Timberland,
	Rolex, Benz, Cristal, ho's and
	bitches, we're pseudo.

		SLOAN
	Who are you revolting against?

		BIG BLACK
	We're revolting against the powers
	that be, that been enslaving the
	minds and hearts of all people of
	color.  And we won't stop rapping
	till we bring about the overthrow
	of the government of the U.S. of A.

		SLOAN
	Please.

		BIG BLACK
	If you were really down you would
	get us together with that boss of
	yours.  What's his name again?

		SLOAN
	Delacroix.

		BIG BLACK
	Yeah, him.

		SLOAN
	What makes you think he would write
	a show about the Mau-Mau's.

		BIG BLACK
	C'mon, why not?  The Monkees had a
	show.  Look at all that other junk
	that's on TV.  We got underground
	cult following.

								27.


		SLOAN
	You don't have the demographics.

		BIG BLACK
	So are you telling me that you
	wouldn't even introduce me to
	Delacroix or set up a meeting?  I'm
	talking 'bout me, your only brother,
	ya own flesh and blood, hook a
	brother up, youknowwhatI'msayin'.

		SLOAN
	That'swhatI'msayin'.  I'm not
	blowin' my young career, brother or
	no brother, for you or anybody else.

		BIG BLACK
	There is a name, a term for your
	kind, the likes of you.  Back in
	slavery days, you would be
	classified as a house nigga.

		SLOAN
	If you think I'm a house nigga then
	that's your prerogative.  You got
	your ways to affect change, I have
	mine.  And I would appreciate it
	very much if you took ya field
	nigga ass out of my house.

		BIG BLACK
	My own sister throwin' me out.  I
	hope to seeya later when you get ya
	mind right.  Don't bother letting
	me out.

		SLOAN
	That's mighty black of you.

Big Black slams the door.

INT. DUNWITTY'S OFFICE - MORNING

One by one, the team enters the office and sits down on the
sofa.

		DUNWITTY
	Delacroix, I'm glad you got your
	mind right.

		DELACROIX
	It's right and tight.  Good morning,
	let me introduce you to everybody.
	You know my assistant, Sloan.

								28.


		SLOAN
	Hello.

		DELACROIX
	This is Cheeba.

		CHEEBA
	Nice to meet you.

		DELACROIX
	And this is Manray.

		MANRAY
	How do you do?

		DUNWITTY
	Good.  I like the names.  Very
	theatrical.

		DELACROIX
	We're all happy to be here and I'm
	going to paint a picture for you.

		DUNWITTY
	I'm wid it.

		DELACROIX
	I've done a lot of soul searching
	and once again you are right.  In
	my previous work it's been all
	surface, superficial.  I have never
	really dug deep.  Not anymore.  As
	Mark Twain fully understood satire
	is the way.  Race has always been a
	hot button in this country's
	history and it needs to be pushed
	harder.  If we are ever to live
	side by side in peace and harmony.
	It's about promoting racial healing.

		DUNWITTY
	Go on.  Good so far.

		DELACROIX
	I know you're familiar with minstrel
	shows.  They came about at the turn
	of the 19th century.  It was a
	variety show in which the talent
	was in blackface - singing, dancing,
	telling jokes, doing skits.
	Dunwitty, I ask you when was the
	last time there was a good variety
	show on the air.  Carol Burnett?
	HeeHaw?

								29.


		DUNWITTY
	Word!!!

		DELACROIX
	So let's take this great form, this
	very American tradition of
	entertainment into the 21st century,
	into the new millennium.

		DUNWITTY
	The name of the show?

		DELACROIX
	It is called: MANTAN - THE NEW
	MILLENNIUM MINSTREL SHOW.

		DUNWITTY
	I'm lovin' it.  You know how I know?
	Because I'm getting a boner, my
	Johnson is hard, no disrespect my
	sister.

Dunwitty starts walking around his office, pumping his first.

		DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
	I'm feelin' dis'!

		DELACROIX
	It will take a lot of courage and
	backbone on the part of the CNS to
	get this on the air.  In fact, I
	would understand fully if the
	subject matter is deemed too
	risque, too controversial.

		DUNWITTY
	Don't worry about that, that's my
	department.  Now who do we cast?
	We need a star.  Can Whoopi sing or
	dance?

		DELACROIX
	I don't know if Whoopi is the way
	to go.

		DUNWITTY
	Are these our two stars, sitting
	here in front of my nose?  Which
	one is Mantan again?

		MANTAN
	That's me.

								30.


		DELACROIX
	And Cheeba is Sleep 'n' Eat.

CLOSE ON

Cheeba.  A look of surprise is on his face.  Complete, utter
surprise.

		DUNWITTY
	That's a great handle.

		DELACROIX
	Mantan and Sleep 'n Eat.  Two real
	coons.  I know we're way out there
	but it's satire.

		DUNWITTY
	I want you take it there.  All the
	way to the edge and back.

Sloan looks at Delacroix with concern.

		DELACROIX
	Every week we follow the trials and
	tribulations of two real coons -
	Mantan and Sleep 'n Eat.  The Dusky
	Duo.

		DUNWITTY
	What are there character traits?

		DELACROIX
	Ignorant, dullwitted, lazy, and
	unlucky.

		DUNWITTY
	Exactly!

		DELACROIX
	Mantan is an uneducated Negro who
	always by some stroke of
	unbelievable stupidity makes his
	best laid plans go haywire.

		DUNWITTY
	And Sleep 'n Eat is his comical
	sidekick?

		DELACROIX
	Yep, you guessed it.

		DUNWITTY
	This could be bigger than "Amos and
	Andy."

								31.


		DELACROIX
	Protest finally forced "Amos and
	Andy" off the air.  Could stop us
	from ever getting on.

		DUNWITTY
	Let'em try.  I will kill to make
	this happen.

Delacroix looks at Sloan.

		DELACROIX
	Negroes would be in an uproar.

		DUNWITTY
	So what.  We would just give the
	NAACP a donation that would be the
	end of that.  No such thing as bad
	publicity.  So what.  Earlier you
	said singing and dancing.

		DELACROIX
	Mantan right here is a gifted
	hoofer.  He has educated feet.

		DUNWITTY
	Who are the other characters?

		DELACROIX
	Do we have characters?  How about
	Honeycutt, Snowflake, Rastus,
	Nigger, Jim, Sambo, Jungle Bunny,
	and how could we forget Aunt Jemima.

Dunwitty is dying with laughter.  He's the only one.

		DUNWITTY
	We gonna hit 'em wid da BOMB DICKEY
	on dis' one.  What's the setting?

		DELACROIX
	In the projects.  Like Eddie
	Murphy's "The PJ's."

		DUNWITTY
	Ya first bad move.  Projects been
	done.  That's one of the problems
	now, everything, movies, TV, are
	set in the urban jungle, da hood.
	That's so tired.  Mantan's
	Millennium Minstrel Show should be
	set on a plantation.  In Alabama.
		(MORE)

								32.


		DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
	And every week these Alabama porch
	monkeys will make us cry, make us
	laugh, make us look at our own
	humanity.  Make us feel good to be
	alive.

		DELACROIX
	I don't know about that plantation
	angle.

		DUNWITTY
	What are you talkin' 'bout?  It's
	the move.  Stay wid me now.  We're
	movin' fast.  What does everybody
	else think about this?

		SLOAN
	We'd get a lot of mail.

She laughs, it's a fake one at that.

		SLOAN (CONT'D)
	Mr. Dunwitty, there wouldn't be
	another show like it.

		CHEEBA
	I've always wanted to be on
	television.

		DUNWITTY
	I like you.  Sleep 'n Eat.  That's
	funny.  Mantan, how do you feel
	about performing in black face?

		MANTAN
	As long as the hoofing is real,
	that I can do my thing, I can
	blacken up.  Let me hit it, beats
	and rhythms, express myself.

		DUNWITTY
	Show me a little somethin' somethin'.

Mantan starts to put on his new tap shoes.

		DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
	Delacroix, you dug deep, deeper
	than deep.

Mantan is ready.

								33.


		MANTAN
	I'm gonna give you just a taste.
	My tap shoes are brand new.  I
	haven't trained 'em yet.

He starts to work out.

		MANTAN (CONT'D)
	Rhythms, rhythms, rhythms.  Beats,
	beats, beats.  No Fred Astaire
	here, baby.  Just rawness.

Dunwitty clears his desk of everything, just knocks stuff
flying onto the floor.  And Mantan taking the cue, jumps up
on his desk and really starts hitting it.

CLOSE ON

Delacroix, as he watches his creation, it's not a happy face.

CLOSE ON

Mantan, he's bringing it home.  With the final move, he
leaps off the desk into the middle of the office, and FREEZES.

ANGLE ON

The office.

		DUNWITTY
	That'swhatI'mtalkin''bout.
	That'swhatI'mtalkin''bout!  He's
	off the hiz-hook!

		DELACROIX
	We think so.

		DUNWITTY
	Sleep 'n Eat, what do you do?

		CHEEBA
	I play the straight man.  I do some
	singing and dancing also.  I also
	manage Mantan.

		DUNWITTY
	Oh you do so?

		CHEEBA
	I'm the man behind the man behind
	the man.

		DUNWITTY
	You da man.

								34.


		CHEEBA
	No, you da man.

		DUNWITTY
	I'm gonna run upstairs with this.
	If CNS doesn't want to do this,
	somebody else will have da balls to
	pull the trigger.  I want to thank
	each and every one of you.  This is
	great, Delacroix.  I'll get back to
	you later today.

EXT. STREET - DAY

Cheeba and Mantan are walking in midtown Manhattan.  They
both have a pep in their step, money in their pockets, and a
roof over their heads.

		CHEEBA
	Life is beginning to look up.  It's
	all good in da neighborhood.

		MANTAN
	You might be right.

		CHEEBA
	Why are you smiling so?

His smile is a mile wide.

		MANTAN
	I'm not smiling.

		CHEEBA
	Naw, not you.  It can't be.  That
	hottie Sloan Hopkins.

		MANTAN
	It's that bad, huh?  It's all over
	my face.

		CHEEBA
	No shame in ya game.  She got ya
	nostrils, ya chnoz is wide open.
	Sloan's what we certified ladies'
	men call low hanging fruit.

		MANTAN
	Certified ladies' man, huh?

		CHEEBA
	She's also moorish.

								35.


		MANTAN
	What's that?

		CHEEBA
	Moorish.  Ya get a little taste of
	dat booty, ya wanna get some MORE.

		MANTAN
	Seconds and thirds, too.

		CHEEBA
	Sloan is all 'dat.  I try her.  I'm
	a tri-sexual.

		MANTAN
	You'd try anything.  I got first
	dibs.  You get ya own stuff.

		CHEEBA
	Naw, just jokin'.  That's you.
	That's you.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Delacroix sits with Manray and Cheeba in the living room.

		DELACROIX
	I want you to start using the name
	Mantan and not Manray if you don't
	mind.

		MANRAY
	Why?

		DELACROIX
	You have to start getting into your
	character.

		CHEEBA
	At the risk of sounding ignorant...

Cheeba turns quickly towards Manray.

		CHEEBA (CONT'D)
	...don't say a word but who is this
	cat Mantan you keep talkin' 'bout?

Delacroix hits the remote button.  The TV and VCR are powered.

CLOSE ON

Television.  We see MANTAN MORELAND in some obscure movie.

								36.


		DELACROIX (O.S.)
	This is Mantan Moreland.

CLOSER ON

Television.  Mantan reacts to seeing a ghost.

		DELACROIX (O.S.) (CONT'D)
	He was a clown, a buffoon but he
	was funny.

ANGLE ON

Living room.

		CHEEBA
	That ain't funny.

		MANRAY
	DeLa, I don't know 'bout this.

		DELACROIX
	Gentlemen, the show, our show will
	be satirical.  You know what that
	is, don't you?  Trust me on this one.

		CHEEBA
	We might need some mo' money behind
	this.

		DELACROIX
	That can be done.

		MANRAY
	Mantan?

		DELACROIX
	Mantan!!

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - NIGHT

THE MAU-MAU's in full effect, bob their heads to the funky
track that blasts from the studio monitors.

ANGLE ON

Studio.  They pass around joints that look like they've been
on steroids and 64 ounce JUGULARS of DA BOMB MALT LIQUOR -
liquid crack, the preferred alcoholic beverage of GHETTO
NEGROES.  All the members of the MAU-MAU's are AFRICAN
AMERICAN except one.  There is one Caucasian member.  He
goes by the name 1/16th BLACK, the engineer tech-whiz kid
computer geek.

								37.


		1/16TH BLACK
	Yo, Big Black, we needs a name for
	this joint.

		BIG BLACK
	How 'bout...

Big Black takes a long, long drag on a joint, then he
quickly empties a 64 oz. in one swing without missing a
beat, without missing a head nod.

		BIG BLACK (CONT'D)
	Black Iz Black?

The whole group goes crazy with the title of the song.

		DOUBLE BLACK
	That's da bomb.

		MO BLACK
	That's gonna give me some
	inspiration.

		JO BLACK
	Gonna make me get my flow on.

		BIG BLACK
	We should call dis da BLACK album.

Everyone starts high-fiving each other.

		SMOOTH BLACK
	Yo, check it out.  We have never
	conformed to none of the white
	man's rules and regulations and
	later for that ole slave owner
	Webster.  Therefore I respectfully
	submit BIG BLACK that we from now
	on, hence forth and whatnot spell
	BLACK: B-L-A-K, not B-L-A-C-K.

		HARD BLACK
	I feel dat.

		1/16TH BLACK
	B-L-A-K.  BLAK.  The darkest of all
	colors, the opposite of white.  A
	member of an African people.  But
	check it out, here's where the grey
	people try to get slick with their
	trickery.  Listen to the full
	connotations.  GLOOMY.  DEPRESSING.
	EVIL.  WICKED.  ANGRY.  SULLEN.
		(MORE)

								38.


		1/16TH BLACK (CONT'D)
	BLAK OUT.  BLAK LISTED.  BLAK BALL.
	Need I say more.

		BIG BLACK
	B-L-A-K it is.

INT. HOUSE - NIGHT

A middle-aged African-American woman is working in the
kitchen.  Delacroix sits at the kitchen table talking with
her.  This is his MOM, ORCHID DOTHAN.

Orchid puts a plate of food in front of her son.

		ORCHID
	You must think I'm some kind of fool.

		DELACROIX
	It looks delicious.

		ORCHID
	You hear me talkin' to you.  The
	only time you come up here when
	something is wrong.

		DELACROIX
	C'mon, Mommy, don't start with that
	I'm an ungrateful son stuff.

		ORCHID
	I said no such thing.  All I said
	is that something must be wrong.

She sits down with him.

		ORCHID (CONT'D)
	How's the food?

		DELACROIX
	Can't beat it with a hammer.  Well,
	since you asked, it looks like I
	may have a new show, a pilot being
	shot.

		ORCHID
	That's wonderful.  Isn't that what
	you always wanted, a show of your
	own?

He talks between mouthfuls.

								39.


		DELACROIX
	It was.  It is.  But this is a
	different kind of show.

		ORCHID
	If at first it's not what you want,
	just work that much harder, Peerless.

		DELACROIX
	Mommy, please don't call me that.

		ORCHID
	Son, Peerless is your name.  Now
	you might be one of these Hollywood
	types, change your name and all
	that but Peerless Dothan is on your
	birth certificate.

		DELACROIX
	I know what's on my birth
	certificate.  You heard from Daddy?

		ORCHID
	I guess he's still on the road.
	What kind of show is this?  Are
	they some Negroes in it without
	being buffoons?

		DELACROIX
	To answer your question, there are
	a lot of Negroes in it and what is
	your definition of buffoons?

		ORCHID
	Peerless, I didn't raise a buffoon.
	We have enough of those on
	television already.

		DELACROIX
	Please let me know when you hear
	from Daddy, get a number or
	something.

		ORCHID
	I will.  And good luck with your
	show.  I hope it's a huge success.
	You've worked very hard.  You
	deserve it.

Delacroix gets up from his seat and hugs his mother.

								40.


INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

A celebration is going on as Delacroix, Sloan, Cheeba and
Mantan sit at a table.

ANGLE ON

Table.  Cheeba and Mantan are giddy.  Sloan looks at
Delacroix who is visibly not happy.

		SLOAN
	You okay?

		DELACROIX
	I feel like somebody hit me upside
	da head with a sledgehammer.

		CHEEBA
	DeLa - what's the matter with you.

		MANTAN
	You ain't happy about the green
	light?

		SLOAN
	People show their happiness in a
	lot of different ways.

		MANTAN
	Well, homeboy, looks like he's at a
	funeral.

		DELACROIX
	I'm happy for all of us.  It's just
	we have a great responsibility now.
	The pressure is on.

		MANTAN
	Pressure?  DeLa, you don't know
	what the hell real pressure is.
	SHEEETT!!!  This is lightstuff.
	Now when you scramblin' out on the
	street in da January winter and the
	hawk is talkin' to you with NO
	money and NO prospects of money
	anytime soon, now that there is
	some pressure.

		DELACROIX
	I didn't mean it to sound like that.

								41.


		MANTAN
	That's the way it came out.  Let me
	ask you one question.  Have you
	ever been in want, in need your
	entire privileged life?

		DELACROIX
	Now I'm privileged?!  Why?  Because
	I didn't grow up on food stamps and
	welfare?  Because I didn't call
	home a cardboard box?  No, I never
	ever went to bed hungry and I'm
	proud of it, too.  Whoever told you
	that living in poverty earns you
	somekind of badge of honor flat out
	lied to you.

		MANTAN
	The point I'm trying to make is
	that this is a blessing.  It's
	going to be fun doing this show and
	we should all look at it that way.

Delacroix gets up from the table and leaves.

		CHEEBA
	What's wrong with him?

		MANTAN
	Must be the pressure.

Cheeba and Mantan laugh, give each other some dap.  A highly
attractive PUERTO RICAN female walks over to their table.
This is JESSICA GRILLO.

		JESSICA
	Sorry I'm late.

Cheeba and Mantan are in awe.

		SLOAN
	Hey, girl.  This is my best friend,
	Jessica Grillo.  I invited her down
	to celebrate with us.

		CHEEBA
	I'm Cheeba.

		MANTAN
	I'm Mantan.

They both rise.

								42.


		CHEEBA
	Please, have a seat.

		MANTAN
	Sloan never told us she had friends
	like you.

		CHEEBA
	In fact, we never knew she had any
	friends period.

		SLOAN
	Later for you.

		JESSICA
	She has a lot of friends

		CHEEBA
	Male?

		JESSICA
	Yes.

		MANTAN
	A lot?

		SLOAN
	Enough.

Sloan and Jessica laugh at the expense of these guys.

		JESSICA
	I propose a toast.

She grabs an empty glass and pours herself some champagne.

		JESSICA (CONT'D)
	To the success of your show.  Good
	luck.

Everyone raises their glasses.  CLINK!

		SLOAN
	Excuse me.

Sloan gets up from the table and takes after Delacroix.

ANGLE ON

Steps. Sloan catches up with Delacroix at the rest room area.

		SLOAN (CONT'D)
	Wait here.

								43.


She goes to the ladies' cubicle.

CLOSE ON

Delacroix.  He leans against the wall.

ANGLE ON

Bathroom door.  Sloan comes out, grabs him inside.

INT. LADIES' ROOM - NIGHT

Sloan locks the door.

		SLOAN
	What is your problem?

		DELACROIX
	My problem is MANTAN THE NEW
	MILLENIUM MINSTREL SHOW.

		SLOAN
	Why did you even come up with that
	shit if you didn't want it made?

		DELACROIX
	It was the principle.  Dunwitty had
	to be enlightened.  I was making a
	point.  I take pride in my work.
	Plus, I already told you I wasn't
	gonna walk away from my money.

		SLOAN
	Fuck da money.  Why do through all
	this effort?  Why?  Are you looking
	for love from Dunwitty?  For
	respect?  Dunwitty and his likes
	don't give a goddamn about you.  So
	now what are you gonna do?

Someone begins to pound on the bathroom door.

		WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
	Will you please let me in?  I have
	to use the toilet.

		SLOAN
	You're gonna have to hold it in
	because we're not finished yet...

She returns her attention to Delacroix.

		SLOAN (CONT'D)
	...QUIT then.

								44.


		DELACROIX
	Even if money wasn't an issue,
	Dunwitty will still go ahead
	without me and that could be more
	dangerous.

		SLOAN
	What's the chances of MANTAN being
	picked up?

		DELACROIX
	I wouldn't bet against it.  My
	Negroidal ass is stuck between the
	proverbial rock and a hard place.

		SLOAN
	Like I said, all this for some
	twisted, distorted sense of
	principal.  Dunwitty, he just
	tolerates your Negroidal ass, he
	doesn't respect it.

The banging starts again.

		MANAGER'S VOICE (O.S.)
	Please open this bathroom door
	immediately.  You are being very
	inconsiderate.

Sloan unlocks the door and they exit.

ANGLE ON

Ladies' bathroom.  Sloan and Delacroix file past the strange
looks of the manager and FIVE WOMEN waiting to use the
bathroom as they rush in.

INT. DUNWITTY'S OFFICE - MORNING

		DELACROIX
	I strongly feel that a Negro should
	direct this.  This kind of satire
	is a high wire act in a gale storm.
	One misstep and we're doing "Amos
	and Andy."  Only a Negro will have
	the sensitivity and cultural
	awareness to navigate this dangerous
	terrain.

		DUNWITTY
	To hire someone solely on their
	ethnicity, gender or religion is
	not right.  It's un-American.  I
	will hire someone who is most
	qualified for this particular job.

								45.


		DELACROIX
	I was hoping to perhaps direct some
	episodes myself, if not the pilot
	soon after.

		DUNWITTY
	I want a hot, young white director.
	Maybe the kid, that pheenom who
	just did that hot new sexy Madonna
	video.

		DELACROIX
	You're telling me some white boy is
	gonna direct this pilot?

		DUNWITTY
	I just want you to meet him.  Keep
	an open mind.

		DELACROIX
	Besides, what does he know about
	Negroes?

		DUNWITTY
	Probably nuthin', but that's why
	it's such a sexy way to go.
	Sometimes an outsider has a fresh
	new outlook, a different unique
	perspective.  A black director,
	y'know what he's gonna do given the
	subject matter?  With this kid, the
	possibilities are endless.

		DELACROIX
	What are his qualifications besides
	being a white male and directing a
	hot new sexy freaky Madonna video?

		DUNWITTY
	If Spielburg can direct "The Color
	Purple" and "Amistad", our whiz kid
	can direct the Mantan pilot.

		DELACROIX
	That's exactly my point.  Has he
	even directed actors before in
	anything?

		DUNWITTY
	No!!!  Just meet the guy.  That's
	all I'm asking.  Look, I'll even
	let you choose your own musical
	director.  You can have that.

								46.


		DELACROIX
	In the immortal words of Derrick
	Coleman, WHOOOPDEEDAMNDOO!!!

		DUNWITTY
	Derrick Coleman, he possessed all
	the talent in the world, coulda,
	shoulda, been a great ballplayer
	but alas D.C. didn't want it bad
	enough.  Delacroix, do you want it?
	Bad enough to kill for it?  Do you
	want it that much.

Delacroix stares at Dunwitty.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - NEXT DAY

Delacroix, followed by Sloan, enters the room full of writers.

CLOSE ON

Delacroix

He surveys the room.

P.O.V. - DELACROIX

All of the writers are Caucasian - male and female.  Every
single last one.

ANGLE ON

Conference room.  Delacroix and Sloan sit down at the head
of the long oval table.

		DELACROIX
	Good morning, for those of you who
	don't know me, I'm Pierre Delacroix.
	I'm running things and this here is
	my assistant Sloan Hopkins.

		SLOAN
	Hello.

		DELACROIX
	I've never worked with any of you
	and you've never worked with me so
	we'll be starting from scratch.
	I'm a fair person, a straight
	shooter and I don't hold my tongue.
	Everybody up in here should know I
	had nothing to do with you being
	hired.
		(MORE)

								47.


		DELACROIX (CONT'D)
	I would have preferred at least one
	other Negro writer.  Any questions?
	Comments?

MONA raises her hand.

		DELACROIX (CONT'D)
	Yes, your name?

		MONA
	He, I'm Mona.

		DELACROIX
	Hi, Mona.

		MONA
	I perfectly understand where you're
	coming from.  As a minority I can
	relate to your struggle also.  But
	I think you should give us all a
	chance.  We want this pilot to be
	successful just as much as you.
	Please don't be so quick to judge
	us based only on our whiteness.

		DELACROIX
	Oh, is that what I'm doing?

BETH jumps in.

		BETH
	I think because of our background
	we can bring a unique perspective
	to Mantan.

SETH pipes in also.

		SETH
	A fresh pair of eyes.  A new look,
	insight, new angle that hasn't been
	seen before.

		DELACROIX
	I've heard this somewhere before.

David raises his hand.

								48.


		DAVID
	My name is David.  I do think it
	would be better to have some
	African-American writers but for
	whatever reason they are not here.
	I don't know if they couldn't find
	any people with experience, they
	wouldn't work for the pay or
	refused to work for the show.  I
	don't know and nobody in this room
	probably knows either.  I'm looking
	at this as a unique opportunity.
	We all should.  I'm a damn good
	writer and I'm ready to go to work.

Everyone in the room applauds.  Sloan looks at Delacroix.

FREEZE FRAME

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	This thing was rigged, the deck was
	stacked, the fix was in.  Could Don
	King be near?  Good thing Sloan had
	my back.  She's my rock.  This was
	going to be a whole lot of work.

UN-FREEZE FRAME

		DELACROIX (CONT'D)
	David, I appreciate your comments.
	Anybody got an ideas?  Everybody
	just talk out loud.

		MONA
	I've always liked the format of
	Rowan and Martin's "LAUGH-IN."

		ANNA
	That could be cool.

		KIRK
	What about something like "The
	Jeffersons?"  I grew up in Idaho so
	that's how I got my understanding
	of black people.  Through Sherman
	Helmsley, LOUISSEE!!!.

		DAVID
	"Good Times" was better.  Kid Dy-no
	mite!!!

								49.


		AARON
	You pole are going to far back for
	me.  I think we have to go after a
	hipper feel.  Like the stuff Eddie
	Murphy used to do on "Saturday
	Night Live."

		PETER
	Or Martin.  You go girl.

		JEFF
	What about the  black exploitation
	films?  No one has ever tried
	making that work on TV.

		DAVID
	And for reason.  Have you ever seen
	"Scream Blacula, Scream?"

		MONA
	I think, and Delacroix will agree
	with me, the politics of this show
	have to be right.  We should always
	be laughing with our characters,
	not at them.

CLOSE ON

Delacroix, as the writers continue to ramble on, he lets
them jerk off.

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	The mission was accomplished.  All
	of these people left the room
	thinking they would have real input.
	I was writing this pilot alone,
	myself, me.

EXT. STREET - DAY

A long line reaches down the block and around the corner.
It's a "cattle call," open auditions for "Mantan."

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	Now came the fun part, finding the
	talented performers to cast in the
	show.

WE DOLLY past the hundreds and hundreds of unemployed
African American actors, many of them dressed in various
costumes.

								50.


		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	Everybody and their mother was
	trying to get in, trying to be seen.
	Trying to get their piece of the
	rock.

INT. REHEARSAL SPACE - DAY

Delacroix sits in the first row with Sloan, RUTH, an African
American casting director.  LEVI, the musical director, also
black, is on the stage at the piano.

AUDITION MONTAGE

WE SEE singers, magicians, dancers, acrobats, comedians,
rappers.  Some good, most are terrible.  Many come out on
stage dressed like mammies, Stepin' Fetchit, slaves, pimps,
ho's, hustlers, and basketball players.  It is a cavalcade
of all the stereotypical roles one has seen.

ANGLE ON

Space.  LULU, a spoken word artist, goes her rendition of
"WAY DOWN ON THE SWANEE RIVER."

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	This was amazing.  Who had told
	these Negroes that this was what we
	were looking for?  The same old
	image, it damn for sure wasn't me.

CLOSE ON

Lulu.

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	Were people this desperate to get
	work?

CLOSE ON

Delacroix.  He interrupts Lulu.

		DELACROIX (CONT'D)
	Thanks, Ms. Lulu.

		LULU
	But I had several more poems.

		DELACROIX
	That's good.  We've seen enough.
	We'll get back to you.

Lulu scurries off stage.

								51.


		RUTH (O.S.)
	Next.

The Mau-Mau's run onto the stage, yelling and screaming.

They are all fired up, in fact several fire their 9mm's into
the ceiling.

ANGLE - TWO SHOT

Delacroix and Sloan.

		SLOAN
	This is the group I was telling you
	about.

		DELACROIX
	Which one is your brother?

		SLOAN
	The big one.

CLOSE ON

Ruth.

		RUTH
	Let's get started here.

ANGLE ON

STAGE

Big Black preens around on the stage.

		BIG BLACK
	The Mau-Mau's are up in dis place.
	That's right, the Mau-Mau's.

		DELACROIX (O.S.)
	What's your name?

		BIG BLACK
	My righteous name is BIG BLACK.

		DELACROIX (O.S.)
	And what are the Mau-Mau's going to
	do for us today?

		BIG BLACK
	We gonna drop some knowledge,
	wisdom and understanding.  The Mau-
	Mau's, we be scientists.  We drop
	science.

								52.


CLOSE ON

Sloan, who's trying to disappear.  If she sits any lower
she'll be under her seat.

ON DELACROIX

		DELACROIX
	We're ready when you are.

ON STAGE

		BIG BLACK
	Microphone check.  One.  Two.  One.
	Two.  One.  Two.  Hold up.  I gots
	to give my peeps some props.
	Brothers introduce yourself.

		DOUBLE BLACK
	Yo, I'm Double Black.

		BLACK BLACK
	Check it, Black Black.

		SMOOTH BLACK
	I'm Smooth Black, the lover in dis'
	piece.

		HARD BLACK
	Hard Black.

		MO BLACK
	He's Jo Black.

		JO BLACK
	And he's Mo Black.

		1/16TH BLACK
	I'm last but not least, you can
	call me 1/16th Black.

ON DELACROIX

		DELACROIX
	Good.  We're really blacked-oops,
	backed up, so shall we begin?

ON STAGE

		BIG BLACK
	Microphone check.  One.  Two.  One.
	Two.  Yo, the name of this joint is
	BLAK IZ BLAK.  Hit it.

								53.


The booming track starts and the Mau-Mau's do their thing,
bouncing all over the stage.  The lyrics about everything
that is BLAK!!!

ON DELACROIX

A look of disbelief is on his face.

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	Needless to say, the Mau-Mau's did
	not fit into our plans.

ON SLOAN

She's in shock, horrified.

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	As I told Sloan, there's a black
	sheep in every family.

BACKSTAGE - LATER THAT DAY

Delacroix is screaming at the top of his lungs.

		DELACROIX (CONT'D)
	Finland.  This is a travesty.  A
	debacle.  A mockery.

INT. LOBBY

Dunwitty approaches Delacroix in the lobby of the rehearsal
space.  He is with JUKKA, a young, very young blonde kid.

		DUNWITTY
	Delacroix.  This is the director I
	was telling you about.  Jukka Laks.

		JUKKA
	So nice to meet you.

		DELACROIX
	Nice to meet you.  If you don't
	mind me asking you - how old are you?

		JUKKA
	I just turned twenty.

		DUNWITTY
	I'm gonna leave you two creative
	geniuses alone.

		DELACROIX
	Dunwitty, don't leave.

								54.


Dunwitty is out.

		DELACROIX (CONT'D)
	Where are you from?

		JUKKA
	Helsinki, which is the capital of
	Finland.

		DELACROIX
	Finland.

		JUKKA
	You know, Finlandia vodka?  Yes?

		DELACROIX
	Yes, I know.  Jukka, have you ever
	seen a Negro person before?  Even
	had a real conversation with a real
	Negro before?

		JUKKA
	What's a Negro.

INT. BACKSTAGE

Delacroix continues to rant and rave.  Sloan is unsuccessful
in attempting to make him be quiet.

		DELACROIX
	A fiasco.  A disaster.  A boondoggle.
	An abomination.

INT. LOBBY

		DELACROIX
	Did you just ask me what's a Negro?
	I'M A NEGRO!!!

		JUKKA
	Ahhh!!!  I never heard of that term
	before.  I thought you were BLACK
	of African-American.  No?

		DELACROIX
	Well before there was BLACK or
	AFRICAN AMERICAN, there were
	NEGROES.  I'M A NEGRO.

		JUKKA
	Thank you for correcting my
	ignorance.  I'm looking forward to
	working side by side with you.  I
	feel we make a good team.

								55.


		DELACROIX
	How did you get this gig?

		JUKKA
	My visual style is very erotic,
	sexy, how do you say - hot?

		DELACROIX
	This is a TV show, not a music video.

		JUKKA
	Then will you teach me what I need
	to know.  Maybe we learn from each
	other, if that's possible, no?

INT. BACKSTAGE - MOMENTS LATER

		DELACROIX
	This is a travesty.  A debacle.

		SLOAN
	You've said that already.

		DELACROIX
	I'm gonna slit my wrists.  Cut my
	throat.  For the love of Joseph.

INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - NEW DAY

He's sitting behind his desk, reading new "pink" revisions
of the "MANTAN" pilot.  He screams.

		DELACROIX
	For the love of Joseph and Mary.

Delacroix bolts out from his office.

INT. DUNWITTY'S OFFICE - DAY

Delacroix charges in as Dunwitty and Jukka go over the same
"pink" revisions.

		DELACROIX
	I will not be held responsible for
	these revisions.  These changes are
	not the way I want to go.  This is
	an outrage.  This is a sham.  A
	violation!

		DUNWITTY
	Calm down, please.

		JUKKA
	In Finland, when we get upset...

								56.


		DELACROIX
	I don't give a good goddamn about
	Finland, Norway, Sweden or wherever
	ya blond ass came from.

		DUNWITTY
	We just punched it up a bit.  Made
	it funnier.

		DELACROIX
	Funnier to who and at who's expense?
	Dunwitty, when Negroes start to run
	amok, the boycotts, when the
	demostrations commence, I'm giving
	them your home address.  Let's see
	how you like it when they picket
	your lawn in Greenwich, Connecticut.

		DUNWITTY
	I seriously doubt that will ever
	happen.  Didn't I tell you I know
	your people better than you do.
	But if by some miracle you're
	correct, I'm gonna invite them
	inside my house and we'll have a
	sit down, discuss it like civil
	human beings.

INT. STUDIO - NIGHT

Much activity is going on.  People are moving to and fro.
WE FOLLOW Delacroix and Sloan.

EXT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Delacroix knocks and they enter.

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

Mantan sits in front of his mirror.

		DELACROIX
	Just want to say good luck.

		SLOAN
	Break a leg.

She gives Mantan a kiss on his cheek.

		DELACROIX
	Wait a minute.  Hold up.

They all laugh.

								57.


		DELACROIX (CONT'D)
	Can I kiss you too?

		MANTAN
	Naw.  I'll take the zero.

		DELACROIX
	You feel good, not nervous?

		MANTAN
	I feel fine.

		DELACROIX
	Not nervous?  Relaxed?

		MANTAN
	Sloan, will you take your boss out
	of here so I can get ready.

EXT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

Sloan and Delacroix enter the dressing room.

INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	How's the audience?

		DELACROIX
	Fired up.

		SLOAN
	How you feelin'?

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	Good.  I'm not sure about this
	material.

		DELACROIX
	The material is fine.

Sloan cuts a look at this liar.

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	You really think so?

		DELACROIX
	We're trying to do something new
	here, some groundbreaking stuff.

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	It's the bone breaking stuff I'm
	worried about.

								58.


		SLOAN
	Everything's gonna be alright.  You
	and Mantan will be huge stars after
	tonight.

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	You really think so?

		DELACROIX
	Your life will never be the same.

		SLOAN
	Let's leave the man in peace so he
	can get ready.

INT. BACKSTAGE

		SLOAN
	We both lied to him.

		DELACROIX
	What do you want me to say?

		SLOAN
	Just don't lie to me.

INT. STAGE - NIGHT

HONEYCUTT, a rotund, elder black man who is one of cast
members, is warming the audience up.

ON AUDIENCE

It's very young and diverse.  They are laughing at the comic
stylings of Honeycutt.

INT. CONTROL BOOTH - NIGHT

Delacroix and Sloan take their seats.

		DELACROIX
	Good luck, Jukka.  Do a good show.

		JUKKA
	Thank you very much.  I always try
	my best.

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

Mantan is slowly getting dressed.  He puts on an old,
tattered tails (tuxedo).

								59.


INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

Sleep 'N Eat is also getting dressed.  He wears a worn
Pullman Porter uniform with red hat to match.

INT. CONTROL ROOM - NIGHT

Dunwitty with his black wife in hand, VERNA moves toward
Delacroix and Sloan.

		DUNWITTY
	I want you to meet my lovely wife
	Verna.  Honey, this is Pierre
	Delacroix and Sloan Hopkins.

		VERNA
	Nice to meet you.

		DELACROIX
	Same here.

		SLOAN
	The pleasure is mine.

		VERNA
	My husband has been raving about
	the awesome work you've done.  How
	did you ever think of something
	like this?  It's absolutely
	brilliant.  Pure genius.

		DELACROIX
	I guess it was divine inspiration.

		VERNA
	Hope to see you both after the
	taping.  Congrats in advance.

ON CONTROL BOOTH

Verna and Dunwitty go to the front of the control booth.

TWO SHOT

Delacroix and Sloan.

		SLOAN
	Divine inspiration?

She laughs.

		DELACROIX
	I was trying to be nice.

								60.


		SLOAN
	I want to apologize about my
	brother and the Mau-Mau's.  I
	should not have imposed them on you.

		DELACROIX
	C'mon.  You were only doing what
	family is supposed to be doing for
	family.  You gave your brother a
	shot.  That's all anybody can ask
	for, an opportunity, a chance, a
	shot.  He got his.

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

Mantan is in front of his dressing room mirror.

ON MIRROR

Mantan looks, stares at his reflection.

INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

Sleep 'N Eat is staring at himself also.

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

CLOSE ON MANTAN

		SLOAN (V.O.)
	We should blacken up like they did
	it back in the day.  Keep the
	ritual the same.

Mantan puts some corks in a dish.

		SLOAN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	Pour some alcohol on the corks,
	then light it.

INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

Sleep 'N Eat strikes a match to his corks in a dish.

CLOSE ON SLEEP 'N EAT

He watches the cork burn.

		SLOAN (V.O.)
	Let them burnt to a crisp, and when
	burnt out, mash them to a powder.

								61.


INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

Mantan is mashing the corks.

		SLOAN (V.O.)
	Add water, mix to a thick paste.

INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

Sleep 'N Eat is mixing it all together.

		SLOAN (V.O.)
	And voila!  You have your blackface.

INT. STAGE - NIGHT

The audience, which has become restless, starts a rhythmic
clap.

		SLOAN (V.O.)
	Please put cocoa butter on your
	face and hands...

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

ON MANTAN'S HANDS

		SLOAN (V.O.)
	To protect your skin.

He applies cocoa butter to his hands.

INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

ON SLEEP 'N EAT'S FACE

He rubs cocoa butter all over his face.

INT. STAGE - NIGHT

CLOSE ON HANDS

Audience hands are clapping faster.

ON FEET

They're stomping.

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

ON MIRROR

Mantan blacks up his face.

								62.


WE HEAR THE POUNDING OF THE FEET STOMPING AND THE HANDS
CLAPPING.

INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

ON MIRROR

Sleep 'N Eat blacks up also.

		SLOAN (V.O.)
	The final detail...

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

ON LIPS

		SLOAN (V.O.)
	...are the lips.

Mantan is applying lipstick.

INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

ON LIPS

Sleep 'N Eat is puckering his lips as he too puts on the
lipstick.

		SLOAN (V.O.)
	The redder the lipstick the better.
	I suggest firetruck red.

ON MIRROR

For the first time WE SEE SLEEP 'N EAT in FULL BLACK FACE.

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	Show...

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

ON MIRROR

Mantan in FULL BLACK FACE.

		MANTAN
	...TIME!!!

INT. STAGE - NIGHT

The audience is in an uproar when the lights go down.  They
applaud and they quiet as the CURTAIN GOES UP on a bucolic
setting.  It is a combination of WATERMELON PATCH and COTTON
FIELD.

								63.


ON STAGE

First Sleep 'N Eat then Mantan shuffles onto the stage.

		MANTAN
	This is my best friend Sleep 'N Eat.

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	And this is my very best friend
	Mantan.

		BOTH
	We're two real COONS!

The audience lets out nervous laughter.  They don't know
what to think.

		MANTAN
	We both left the hustle and bustle
	of Uptown, Harlem...

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	...the big apple, New York, New York.

		MANTAN
	To come back to our roots.

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	Our Alabamy Home.  Now we're
	getting countrified.  We is Bama's.

		MANTAN
	No mo' "city slickers."  Ahh, can't
	you smell the sweet aroma of the
	ripe watermelons and high cotton?

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	Tell 'em what you mean Mistuh Mantan.

		MANTAN
	Well, thank you Mistuh Sleep 'N Eat.

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	Give or cousins some of dem educated
	feets.

Mantan begins to do a slow, steady step.

		SLEEP 'N EAT (CONT'D)
	Cousins, first, second, third and
	distant, let's have Mantan take us
	all the way back to a much more
	simpler time.  A time wen men were
	men, women were women, and Neggras
	knew their place.

								64.


The AUDIENCE is aghast.  Mantan has picked up the pace.
He's tapping fast and furious.

		MANTAN
	Cousins, I want all of you to go to
	your windows.  Go to your windows
	and yell.  Yell, I'm tired of the
	drugs, the crack babies born out of
	wedlock to crackhead aids infested
	parents.  I'm tired of the inflated
	welfare rolls while good wholesome
	Americans bring less and less of
	their paycheck home every two weeks.
	I'm tired, you're tired, we're all
	tired of these so-called bible-
	thumping God fearing, whore mongling
	Professional athletes.  Aren't you
	tired of these basketball-dunking,
	football-running, hop-hip rapping
	ebonic-speaking sex offenders who
	got ten kids from ten different
	Ho's?  I know I am and so is Sleep
	'N Eat.

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	You tellin' the truth.

		MANTAN
	Go to your windows and yell out,
	scream with all the life you can
	muster up inside your assaulted,
	bruised and battered bodies.  I'M
	SICK AND TIRED OF NIGGERS AND I'M
	NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!

Mantan stops dancing and collapses.

ON AUDIENCE

They're stunned.  They can't believe what they've heard,
what they've seen.  What they've been witness to.

ON YOUNG WHITE COUPLE

They look at the black people in the audience.

ON YOUNG HIP-HOP BLACK MALE

He starts to clap slowly.

ON AUDIENCE

Slowly more black people begin to applaud.  Slowly it sweeps
up into the black people.

								65.


The WHITE AUDIENCE, of course, has been waiting to see how
their black brothers and sisters would react.  Now feeling
comfortable and safe, they too being to join the applause.

ON AUDIENCE

The applause changes into laughter.  It is not nervous
laughter we hear, but straight out RIOTOUS LAUGHTER.

ON BLACK AND WHITE FACES

The laughter is contagious.

ON STAGE

Mantan starts to move, he's coming back from the dead.  He
slowly gets up from his prostate position as he HEARS:

A WAYBACK ALABAMA JIG played by the house band, THE PORCH
MONKEYS, led by musical director Levi.  Mantan is joined on
stage by the other hoofers in the show: JUNGLE BUNNY,
SNOWFLAKE, SAMBO, AUNT JEMIMA, RASTUS, NIGGER JIM, plus
SLEEP 'N EAT.  Each take turn as it evolves into an elaborate
DANCE NUMBER.  The hoofers and the band are also in black
face.

ON AUDIENCE

They are rolling down the aisles.

INT. CONTROL ROOM - NIGHT

ON DELACROIX

Delacroix looks like he has seen a ghost.

CLOSER

He buries his face in his hands.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NEXT NIGHT

Delacroix is in the same position as the scene before.  Face
buried in his hands.

ON PHONE

It rings and he picks it up.

		DELACROIX
	Hello?

								66.


EXT. STREETS - NIGHT

Dunwitty drives his Mercedes Benz CL 600 Coupe.

		DUNWITTY
	Yo, DeLa, I just got the news from
	the CNS brass.  They saw some clips
	from the pilot and they're rushing
	it onto the air.  Yo, we're a
	midseason replacement, ordered 12
	shows.  We're on in 3 weeks.  Didya
	hear what I just said, Yo?

ON DUNWITTY

		DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
	They didn't even view a rough cut,
	just some scenes we quickly cut
	together.

ON DELACROIX

		DELACROIX
	This has to be a big mistake.

		DUNWITTY (O.S.)
	The big mistake was my not believing
	in your genius earlier.  From the
	gitgo, from jump street.

		DELACROIX
	Hold on a sec, I got a call.

HE CLICKS OVER.

		DELACROIX (CONT'D)
	Hello, Mommy, let me get rid of
	this other call.

INT. BENZ - CONTINUOUS

		DELACROIX (O.S.)
	I gots to go, it's my Moms.

		DUNWITTY
	I want to meet her one day, please
	tell her the great news.  I'm OUT
	like Vanilla Ice.

INT. ORCHID'S HOUSE - NIGHT

She is on the phone with her son.

								67.


		ORCHID
	Peerless, your father called.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT

		DELACROIX
	I'll be right over.

INT. STREET - NIGHT

It's a warm summer night.

		MANTAN
	So what's up with you?

		SLOAN
	What do you want to know?

		MANTAN
	The good stuff.

		SLOAN
	I'm an asthmatic.  Been one all my
	life.  Can't go anywhere without an
	inhaler.

		MANTAN
	What else?

		SLOAN
	Are you trying to rap to me?

INT. ORCHID'S HOUSE

Delacroix sits at the kitchen table.

		ORCHID
	He wants you to come and see him.

		DELACROIX
	He said that?

		ORCHID
	Yes he did.

		DELACROIX
	Where is he?

		ORCHID
	He's performing at some place
	outside of Richmond, Virginia.

		DELACROIX
	I can't go all the way down south.

								68.


		ORCHID
	Richmond is not all the way down
	south.

		DELACROIX
	I don't even know why you're still
	concerned over him.  Daddy's not
	with you.

		ORCHID
	Regardless, he still is your father.

		DELACROIX
	It's gonna be hard for me to get
	away with the show taking off.

		ORCHID
	Even more reason to see him.  He'll
	be overjoyed with your success.

		DELACROIX
	C'mon, Mommy.  Daddy hasn't been
	impressed with anything I've ever
	done.  From winning my fifth grade
	Spelling Bee to the present.

		ORCHID
	Peerless, last time, go see your
	father.

EXT. PARK - NIGHT

Mantan and Sloan are sitting on a park bench, nothing is
being said.  He sits up and starts to do a dance for her.
To her.

ON BENCH

Mantan is doing that "Mating" tap dance.

		SLOAN
	Are you trying to seduce me?

He puts his index finger over his mouth - "Quiet."

		SLOAN (CONT'D)
	You think that's gonna work, huh?

He quickly jumps up on the bench, does some intricate steps
then pulls Sloan up from her sitting position.

ON MANTAN AND SLOAN

They kiss.

								69.


EXT. I-95 SOUTH - MORNING

Delacroix is driving "down south."

INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS

Delacroix adjusts the mirror so he can see himself.  HE
SPEAKS TO US through the MIRROR

		DELACROIX
	I figured this was a good time to
	get away.  Just jump in my ride and
	go.  I always did my best thinking
	when I was driving alone.  I needed
	to think out clearly what I was
	going to do with this MANTAN - THE
	NEW MILLENNIUM MINSTREL SHOW.

EXT. I-95 SOUTH

Delacroix is driving on his way to "Ole Virginny."

EXT. MAMA'S SUGAR SHAK - NIGHT

Delacroix pulls up in the parking lot of a rinky-kink,
funky, greasy BAR/CLUB/BAR-B-Q joint.

CLOSE ON NEON SIGN

"MAMA'S SUGAR SHAK" - most the letters do not light up,
underneath it, "2-NITE - JUNEBUG."

INT. MAMA'S SUGAR SHAK

It's loud as hell as Delacroix enters this smoky, dark
establishment.

P.O.V. DELACROIX

This must be a big night in here because the PATRONS are
dressed to the nines.  What's in style down here is a lot
different from what's happening en Nueva York.  Many of the
men are dressed like PIMPS from 70's BLAXPLOITATION FILM,
the ladies like HOOTCHIE MAMAS from "Luke" video.

ON SUGAR SHAK

Delacroix works himself through the crowded BAR/DISCO into
another small room.

ON COMEDY ROOM

He walks into a small space where his father JUNEBUG is on
the stage.

								70.


ON JUNEBUG

He is a good-looking man, the only speckle of gray in his
hair betrays his age.  As he walks around the small stage
doing his comedy stylings, he keeps a drink in one hand and
sips it often.

ON COMEDY ROOM

Delacroix sits in the back so his father can't see him.

ON DELACROIX

He looks around.

P.O.V. DELACROIX

It's dead in here.  The room is nearly empty.

ON TABLE

A couple gets loud, arguing over something.

ON JUNEBUG

		JUNEBUG
	'Cuse me.  Please.  Can you please
	show me some respect.  I'm up here
	trying to make a living.

		MAN
	Mind yo' business.

		JUNEBUG
	Don't make me have to come over
	there and whoop you upside ya head.

The sparse AUDIENCE laughs.

		JUNEBUG (CONT'D)
	Just messin' with ya.  But please
	if you and your lady need to
	discuss something, take it outside.
	Thank you.

He continues on with his show.

ON TABLE

Delacroix walks over to the fighting couple.

								71.


		DELACROIX
	Brother man, that's my father up
	there and I drove a long way to see
	him perform.  Please take this
	fifty, go buy you and the young
	lady some drinks in the club.

The guy looks him up and down.

		MAN
	That's yo' Daddy?

Delacroix nods.

		MAN (CONT'D)
	Don't need yo money for drinks.
	Besides, she's drunk already.
	C'mon, let's go.

The guy grabs his friend by the wrist and drags her kicking
and screaming out the room.

CLOSE ON JUNEBUG

		JUNEBUG
	Don't bring your woman out if you
	can't keep her in deep check.  If
	my woman ever did something crazy
	like that I'd put my size 12 dead
	up in her ass.

This gets the biggest laugh of the night.

EXT. DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

Delacroix knocks.

		JUNEBUG (O.S.)
	What do you want?

		DELACROIX
	I want to speak with you.

		JUNEBUG (O.S.)
	Go away, unless you got my money.

		DELACROIX
	It's me, Peerless.

INT. DRESSING ROOM

He enters into a closet, it's a makeshift dressing room.  A
younger lady, much younger than Junebug - DOT - stands
behind him as she massages his neck.

								72.


Junebug gets up from his chair, rushes to his son and they
embrace.

		JUNEBUG
	Son.  Good to seeya.  Good to seeya.

		DELACROIX
	It's been a long time.

		JUNEBUG
	Pull up a chair.  Oh, excuse me,
	this is my lady DOT.

		DELACROIX
	Pleased to meet you.

		DOT
	Glad to meet you, too.  You are all
	your father talks about.

		DELACROIX
	Is that so?

		JUNEBUG
	Honey, pour me and my son a drink.

They both sit down as drinks are poured.

		DOT
	I'll leave you two alone.

She kisses Junebug on the forehead before leaving.

		JUNEBUG
	Good woman.  I trained her right.

		DELACROIX
	Daddy, she's younger than me.

		JUNEBUG
	My game is still strong.  No Viagra
	for me, don't need no chemicals.
	Just my tonic.

He holds up his drink and kills it in one gulp.

		JUNEBUG (CONT'D)
	Purely for medicinal purposes.

		DELACROIX
	I thought you had promised Mommy
	you stopped.

								73.


		JUNEBUG
	I did.  I'm not an alcoholic.  I
	just like to drink.

		DELACROIX
	How did you end up here?

		JUNEBUG
	How did I end up at the third rate
	chittlin' circuit greasy hole in
	the wall in West Hell, Virginny?
	Is that what you're asking ya Daddy?

Delacroix takes a sip of his drink.

		DELACROIX
	That's what I'm askin'.

		JUNEBUG
	Because I had too much pride.  Too
	much integrity.  I wouldn't lick
	nobody's butt.  Some material I
	refused to do.

		DELACROIX
	Daddy, it can't be just because of
	that.  There had to be other factors.

Junebug pours himself another stiff one.

		JUNEBUG
	That's the only reason, period.
	They only want one certain kind of
	black comic.

		DELACROIX
	Another one of your conspiracies to
	hold ya career back?

		JUNEBUG
	All I know is what happened to me.
	All that other mess I just file
	into the "life's too short" category.

He downs another one.  Junebug drinks like a fish.

		JUNEBUG (CONT'D)
	Enough about me, what's happening
	with you?

		DELACROIX
	The same old, same old.  Trying to
	get my stuff through.

								74.


		JUNEBUG
	Dem white boys giving you a hard
	time?

		DELACROIX
	Nuthin' I can't handle.

		JUNEBUG
	The truth is never let them seeya
	sweat.  You do that, that's half
	the battle.

		DELACROIX
	Where do you go from here?

		JUNEBUG
	Three nights Charleston, South
	Carolina.

		DELACROIX
	I didn't mean that, in life.

		JUNEBUG
	In life?  I'ma keep on living,
	having a good drink, got me a good
	young woman, make a couple of
	dollars and make people laugh.
	Haven't I always tol' you all
	nigga's are entertainers?  The
	question is what are you gonna do,
	Peerless?

INT. HOTEL HALLWAY - NIGHT

Delacroix and Dot are on either side of Junebug as they hold
him up.

ON DOOR

Delacroix struggles to put the key in the door.

INT. HOTEL ROOM

The door is kicked open as the trio comes in.  Junebug is
drunk as a skunk.

		JUNEBUG
	I'm not an alcoholic.  I just like
	to drink.

		DOT
	We know that baby.

								75.


		DELACROIX
	Let's get him over to the bed.

		JUNEBUG
	Baby, you treat me so good.
	Peerless, you're a good son, I love
	you.  You never gave me no trouble.

They lay him down on the bed.

		DELACROIX
	I love you too, Daddy.

		JUNEBUG
	Always keep 'em laughing.

Dot takes off his shoes.  He's out like a light.  Gone.

		DELACROIX
	How long has my father been like
	this?

		DOT
	Not that often.  He was excited to
	see you.

		DELACROIX
	So he drank himself into a stuper?

		DOT
	The drinking is for the pain.  It
	doesn't kill it, just dulls it.

		DELACROIX
	So what's up with you?

		DOT
	I was a hostess at this club, your
	Daddy was performing and I had
	never laughed so hard in my life.
	He asked me to come with him.  I
	quit my job and we've been together
	ever since.

Delacroix pulls out his billfold and gives Dot five crisp
new model hundred dollar bills.

		DELACROIX
	Don't tell him it's from me or he
	won't take it.

		DOT
	Your father is proud of you.

								76.


		DELACROIX
	He never showed it.

		DOT
	He did the best way he knew how,
	Junebug is stubborn just like you.

Delacroix kisses his sleeping father of the forehead.

		DOT (CONT'D)
	I'll take care of him.

EXT. I-95 NORTH - NIGHT

Delacroix is driving back home - up North.

INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	My Daddy.  I'm not mad at him.  Not
	at all.  Junebug was the reason I
	got into this business in the first
	place.

CLOSER

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	And I thank him for that.  However,
	it did me no good seeing him in
	that state.  Daddy was a broken man.
	He had been a strong man, with
	conviction, integrity, principles
	and look where it had gotten him.
	I had to ask myself did I want to
	end up where he was?

OVERHEAD REAR VIEW MIRROR

Delacroix adjusts the mirror so he can see himself, and
SPEAK TO US.

		DELACROIX (CONT'D)
	That was the last time I ever saw
	my father.

EXT. I-95 NORTH

Delacroix's car flies past us.

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

ON MIRROR

Mantan starts to black up.

								77.


INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

Sleep 'N Eat also begins to black up.

INT. STAGE - NIGHT

Honeycutt stands in front of the festive young, mixed
audience.

		HONEYCUTT
	Everybody say Ho!

		AUDIENCE
	Ho!

		HONEYCUTT
	That'swhatI'mtalkin'bout!
	That'swhatI'mtalkin'bout!  I want
	to be the first to welcome you to
	the second taping of Mantan - The
	New Millennium Minstrel Show.

Audience applauds.

		HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
	My name is Honeycutt and I want to
	try something different.  Can you
	do this for me?

ON AUDIENCE

		AUDIENCE
	Yeah!

BACK ON HONEYCUTT

		HONEYCUTT
	I'm gonna start a chant and I want
	y'all to follow me.  Let's make our
	own 2 real coons know you're ready
	to start the show.

CLOSER

		HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
	Let's go Niggers.  Then clap five
	times like this.

Honeycutt claps the cadence.

								78.


		HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
	C'mon.  It's easy.  It's the same
	thing y'all do out at the Yankee
	game, no different 'cept we changing
	one word.  Everybody go it?

ON AUDIENCE

		AUDIENCE
	YEAH!

CLOSER ON HONEYCUTT

		HONEYCUTT
	Alright.  Here we go.  Let's go
	NIGGERS!  LET'S GO NIGGERS!

CLOSE ON AUDIENCE

		AUDIENCE
	Let's go NIGGERS.

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

ON MIRROR

Mantan is finishing the black.

		AUDIENCE (O.S.)
	Let's go niggers!

INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

Sleep 'N Eat is finishing his Black.

		AUDIENCE (O.S.)
	Let's go niggers!

INT. STAGE - CONTINUOUS

		HONEYCUTT
	Louder.  They can't hear you.

CLOSE ON YOUNG BLACK WOMAN

		YOUNG BLACK WOMAN
	LET'S GO NIGGERS!

CLOSE ON YOUNG WHITE MALE

		YOUNG WHITE MALE
	LET'S GO NIGGERS!

								79.


INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

Mantan is applying his FIRETRUCK RED lipstick.

		AUDIENCE (O.S.)
	LET'S GO NIGGERS!

INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

Sleep 'N Eat's also applying lipstick.

		AUDIENCE (O.S.)
	LET'S GO NIGGERS!

INT. STAGE - CONTINUOUS

Their CHANT is deafening.  The audience's hyped.

		HONEYCUTT
	You sound so good to me.  Ladies
	and gentlemen, boys and girls,
	without further adieu, let's
	welcome youknowwhoI'mtalkin'about,
	your two favorite coons, Da Dusky
	Duo, our stars Mantan and Sleep 'N
	Eat.

The audience goes crazy as the curtain goes up and the house
band kicks in with the Mantan theme.

ON STAGE

The setting is a chicken coop, live roosters and chickens
move freely about Mantan and Sleep 'N Eat.  They start right
into their routine at a furious pace.

		MANTAN
	Y'know my lady Lucindy?

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	The one with da big...

		MANTAN
	Not her, the one with the little...

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	Oh her.

		MANTAN
	Tomorrow is her birthday and I want
	to get her something really nice,
	like a...

								80.


		SLEEP 'N EAT
	No, not that.  How 'bout...

		MANTAN
	She hates dem.

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	Too bad.  How 'bout a dress?

		MANTAN
	Sleep 'N Eat, one of dem slinky,
	sexy, little foxy...

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	Mantan, way too short, too tight.
	Get her one of dose...

		MANTAN
	...to big.  The in-between one, not
	too tight, not too lose.

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	That'll work.  I just bought one
	for myself.

Mantan cocks his limp wrist.  The audience ROARS.

		SLEEP 'N EAT (CONT'D)
	Not for me, my woolly headed cotton
	pickin' friend for...

		MANTAN
	I thought you got rid of...

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	...that was Vicki, her best friend.
	Dat dress will cast ya round...

		MANTAN
	...dat's too much money.  I can't
	'ford it.  I needs me a dress that
	cost no mo' than...

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	...aconite get it dat cheap.

		MANTAN
	I'll buy her a less expensive
	dress, so I can have some money
	left over to take her out to dinner.

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	We should go out on a double date.

								81.


		MANTAN
	I heard ya lady is wild.

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	No.  That's her second cousin.
	Who's married to Li'l Bit.

		MANTAN
	Oh, because on our first date, she
	let me...

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	...no, she didn't...

		MANTAN
	...yes she did.

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	...I heard different, thought that
	was...

		MANTAN
	...not that time...

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	So when are you comin' to pick us up?

		MANTAN
	Around...

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	...too early...

		MANTAN
	...then what about...

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	...too late, maybe around...

		MANTAN
	...perfect...

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	That's what I like about you and me.
	We git along...

		MANTAN
	...like macaroni and cheese...

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	...like grits and butter...

		MANTAN
	...like fried and chicken...

								82.


		SLEEP 'N EAT
	...like sleep and eat.

OFF-SCREEN we HEAR the VOICE of MASSA CHARLIE, he's the
overseer of this plantation.

		MASSA CHARLIE (O.S.)
	Who goes in there?

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	We'd better hide.

		MANTAN
	It's dat mean, evil overseer Massa
	Charlie.

They hide behind some boxes.

		MASSA CHARLIE
	I say who goes in there?

		BOTH
	There's nobody in here 'cept us
	chickens.

Massa Charlie enters the chicken coops with a SHOTGUN
blazing.  Sleep 'N Eat and Mantan do a jig as they try to
escape the buckshot.

ON AUDIENCE

They're rolling down the aisles in hysterics.

INT. CONTROL BOOTH

Everyone in the booth is laughing uncontrollably.  Except
Delacroix.  Even Sloan is dying.

		DELACROIX
	Who's side are you on?

		SLOAN
	I'm sorry, I can't help it.  It's
	too funny.

Delacroix starts to crack a smile.  He is definitely trying
to hold it in.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

He sits in front of the television, which is off.

								83.


		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	It was the Day of Reckoning.  After
	a massive advertising and publicity
	campaign...

CLOSER

Delacroix stares at the blank screen.

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	...the public would finally get a
	chance to view Mantan.  I was
	feelin' a little bit like Dr.
	Frankenstein.

INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT - NIGHT

Sloan, Jessica, Mantan and Cheeba are gathered around the
television in the small studio apartment, jabbering away.

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	What would their reaction be?  I
	hadn't the foggiest.

		SLOAN
	Everybody shut up.

ON TV SCREEN

We see the OPENING of MANTAN - THE NEW MILLENNIUM MINSTREL
SHOW.  It is in CLAYMATION.  Mantan and Sleep 'N Eat are
doing a "jig."  Their noses and lips are done in a grotesque
characterization, BIG WIDE BEGROIDAL NOSES and JUICY RED
SAUCER SOUP COOLING LIPS.

		HONEYCUTT (V.O.)
	Calling all my cousins, you're
	about to take a trip down to Hang
	'Em High Plantation, home of your
	two favorite coons, Mantan and
	Sleep 'N Eat.

ON SLOAN, JESSICA, MANTAN, AND CHEEBA

Mantan isn't happy.

		MANTAN
	Why they gotta make my nose so big?

		CHEEBA
	Look at my lips.

		JESSICA
	I think it looks cute.

								84.


ON SLOAN

She can't believe her eyes.

		HONEYCUTT (V.O.)
	Mantan - The New Millennium Minstrel
	Show is proudly sponsored by...

ON TV SCREEN

DA BOMB PRODUCT SHOT AND LOGO

		HONEYCUTT (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	...Da Bomb.  We'll take you there.
	And...

CLOSER ON TV SCREEN

TIMMI HILLNIGGER PRODUCT SHOT AND LOGO

		HONEYCUTT (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	...Timmi Hillnigger.  Keep it
	really real.

ON HONEYCUTT

		HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
	We will be right back with the
	start of our show, but first, a
	word from our proud sponsors.

CUT TO COMMERCIAL #1

EXT. STREET CORNER - ANY GHETTO, U.S.A. - DAY

The TRACK is BOOMING.  The fire hydrant is open on this
sizzling day and practically butt naked "Playaz" and "Hoes"
dance in the water.  Each one is guzzling from 64 ounce
JUGULARS of DA BOMB which are in the shape of a bomb.

ON HONEYCUTT AND CROWD

He's in the spot, he's the spokesperson.

		HONEYCUTT
	DA BOMB.  Yo.  It's 125% pure
	pleasure MALT LIQUOR.

		HOOCHIE #1
	It's Da Bomb, Baby.

		PLAYA #1
	It's Da Bomb, Baby.

								85.


ON CROWD

Nothing but butts and breasts gyrating.

		HONEYCUTT (V.O.)
	Clinical testing has found that
	Viagra doesn't work on black
	"johnson's."  That's why our
	scientists developed Da Bomb for
	you.  It makes you feel like a MAN
	and it makes dem bitches feel like
	Natural Women - I mean Ho's.

		PLAYA #2
	It makes my nature rise.

		HOOCHIE #2
	I want to get funked up.

		HONEYCUTT
	DA BOMB - 125% pure pleasure malt
	liquor.

Honeycutt takes a big swallow from his 64 oz. Jugular.  Two
statuesque ladies sandwich him, grinding up on Honeycutt.
He takes the jugular from his lips.  As he speaks, flames
come out of his mouth.

		HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
	Oooooo-weeee!!  Da Bomb makes me
	wanna get my freak on.

		TWO MO' HOOCHIES
	Honeycutt, let's get our swerve on@

CUT TO COMMERCIAL #2

EXT. STREET CORNER - ANY GHETTO, U.S.A. - DAY

A middled-aged Caucasian male, TIMMI HILLNIGGER, is
surrounded by a mob deep of hard-looking PLAYAZ.

		TIMMY HILLNIGGER
	Yo, my name be Timmi Hillnigger.  I
	was born and raised up in Strong
	Island so you know I know about my
	peeps, my niggaz in the git-toe.  I
	design and own TIMMI HILLNIGGER
	125% Authentic Git-Toe active wear.

DAWG #1 steps forward.

		DAWG #1
	Hillnigger keeps it real.

								86.


DAWG #2 steps forward also.

		DAWG #2
	Timmi's gots all da latest gear.

		TIMMY HILLNIGGER
	If you want to keep it really real,
	never get out of the git-toe, stay
	broke and continue to add to my
	multibillion dollar corporation,
	keep buyin' all my gear.  The Timmi
	Hillnigger collection.  We keep it
	so real we give you the bullet holes.

Hoe #1 laying in a white thong on top of a white Rolls-Royce.

		HOE #1
	All my niggaz wear Hillnigger or
	they don't wear a damn thing at all.
	It's Git-toe Fabulous.

EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - NIGHT

The lights are on in the White House.

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	I was sunk, dead.  My goose was
	cooked.  The cat was in the bag and
	the bag was in the river.

INT. THE WHITE HOUSE

President Clinton is seen behind a TV set laughing his head
off.

INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - PRESS CONFERENCE - DAY

The President of the U.S. stands behind a podium and takes
questions from the press.

		REPORTER
	Did you watch MANTAN - THE NEW
	MILLENNIUM MINSTREL SHOW last night?

		PRESIDENT CLINTON
	Yes I did and I can honestly say I
	feel it promotes racial healing.

INT. DUNWITTY'S OFFICE - MORNING

Dunwitty, Delacroix and Sloan are joined by a young Caucasian
woman, MYRNA GOLDFARB.

								87.


		DUNWITTY
	I know all of you have seen the
	overnight ratings.  Through the
	roof.  But in this game you gotta
	be one, two, three steps ahead.  I
	introduce you to Myrna Goldfarb.
	She's the best media consultant in
	the biz.

		MYRNA
	First, I would like to say I love
	the show.  It's very courageous.
	My parents marched in Selma,
	Alabama with Dr. King.

		DELACROIX
	Why are you here?

		MYRNA
	Good question, straight to the
	point.  I like your style.  Because
	of the content of the show we can
	expect some spirited reactions.

		DUNWITTY
	Myrna is here to help us plan our
	strategy.

		MYRNA
	The best defense is offense.

		DELACROIX
	I thought it was the other way
	around.

		MYRNA
	You get my point.  I've mapped out
	some strategies to help bolster our
	position.

		SLOAN
	Which is?

		MYRNA
	That this is fun.  Nice wholesome
	fun.

		DUNWITTY
	Goldfarb, run it down for them.

								88.


		MYRNA
	The Mantan Manifesto.  Catchy ain't
	it?  Number One.  We gainfully
	employ African Americans, in front
	of and behind the cameras.  Two.
	Let the audience decide.  Three.
	Who put these critics in charge?
	These so-called cultural police?
	Four.  Who determines what is black?
	Five.  Mantan is a satire.  Six.
	If they can't take a joke, "F" 'em.

		DUNWITTY
	We all stick to this, it's smooth
	sailing.

		SLOAN
	It sounds kinda simplistic to me.

		MYRNA
	I've done my research.

		DELACROIX
	These are black folks we're talkin'
	about, not some lab mice in a cage.

		MYRNA
	Monsieur Delacroix, I got my PhD in
	African-American studies from Yale,
	so I do feel I'm qualified.

		DUNWITTY
	Let Myrna finish.

		MYRNA
	Thank you.  And always smile.

		DELACROIX
	Yeah, show dem pearly whites.

She ignores him.

		MYRNA
	Wear Kente cloth, invoke the name
	of Dr. Martin Luther King, use the
	word "community" often when talking
	about Mantan.  And finally our
	biggest plus is you, Pierre
	Delacroix.

		DELACROIX
	Me?

								89.


		DUNWITTY
	Yes you!

		MYRNA
	This show was created, conceived by
	you, a non-threatening African-
	American male.  Voila.  End of
	argument.  It can't be racist
	because you're black.

		DELACROIX
	I'm not black.  I'm a NEGRO!!!

INT. CNS HALLWAY - POST MEETING

Sloan and Delacroix are walking in the hallway.  They keep
getting interrupted by people who congratulate Delacroix on
the success of the show.

		SLOAN
	So you have your small victory, now
	what?

		DELACROIX
	A small victory isn't that small
	when you've been use to losing.

INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - MORNING

Sloan hands Delacroix a wrapped gift.

		DELACROIX
	What is this?

		SLOAN
	A gift.

		DELACROIX
	For what?

		SLOAN
	No matter what you think, you did
	come up with something unique.
	Open it.

Delacroix opens his gift.  It is one of those old cast iron
Black Collectibles.  This one is called "THE JOLLY NIGGER
BANK," a head of a Negro, big lips, big nose, wide eyes.

		SLOAN (CONT'D)
	Put a coin in the hand.

He puts a quarter in the hand.

								90.


		SLOAN (CONT'D)
	Watch this.

She pushes the lever and the mouth opens, the quarter flies
in and his eyes go to the top of his head.

		SLOAN (CONT'D)
	Read it on the back.

Delacroix reads.

		DELACROIX
	The Jolly Nigger Bank.

		SLOAN
	This is authentic, not a repro,
	circa turn of the century.

		DELACROIX
	Thanks.

		SLOAN
	I thought it was appropiate.

		DELACROIX
	Is that good or bad?

		SLOAN
	It's all good.  You got a hit show,
	you're gonna need a bank.  Plus, I
	love these old black collectibles.

		DELACROIX
	How so?

		SLOAN
	To me, it shows part of our history
	in this country, a time when we
	were considered inferior, sub-human.

CLOSE ON JOLLY NIGGER BANK

Delacroix puts another quarter in the hand and flips the
lever.  The quarter flies into his mouth as his eyes roll to
the top of his head.

INT. WLIB - DAY

Delacroix is a guest on the GARY BYRD show.  WLIB is the
number one black talk radio station in the nation.

								91.


		GARY BYRD
	Our guest today is Pierre Delacroix.
	He is the creator of the highly
	controversial TV show MANTAN.
	Let's get right into it.  You have
	been called by some in the community
	a traitor, a sellout, an Uncle Tom.
	Why does your show generate such
	feelings?

		DELACROIX
	Because race has always been a
	sensitive issue in this country.
	Gary, I have no problem with people
	disagreeing with the show, it's
	when folks start trying to mess
	with my inherent right as an
	artist, that's when I get mad.  No
	one, in any way, shape or form
	should be censored.

		GARY BYRD
	No matter how sexist or racist the
	material may be?

		DELACROIX
	Yes.  And I say yes because who is
	to judge?  Who is to stand before
	us and say this is righteous and
	this is not?  Who?  Who can play God?

		GARY BYRD
	But the line has to be drawn.

		DELACROIX
	Don't you people get it?  We're in
	the 21st Century.  Slavery was over
	four hundred years ago.  All that
	stuff people talked in the old
	days, it's over.  Folks always
	crying, white man this, white man
	that.  Let's all grow up.

		GARY BYRD
	Are you trying to excuse our
	Holocaust?

		DELACROIX
	Can I finish?  Thank you.  I had a
	great Aunt, we called her Sister.
	She went to her grave not believing
	man had walked on the Moon.
		(MORE)

								92.


		DELACROIX (CONT'D)
	When I was a little kid, I would
	argue with her, "it's on TV."  She
	would answer "I don't care what's
	on that idiot box.  No MAN is on
	the MOON."  Well, there are a lot
	of your Negroes just like my Aunt
	Sister.  Face up to it.  The world
	has changed and if you don't adapt,
	change with it, you will be left
	behind.  This show is a parody.
	Are you telling me that nobody can
	use some humor, have some laughs in
	their lives?  Is that what you're
	telling me?

EXT. TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT

Mantan and Cheeba gaze skyward at a behemoth billboard for
their show.  Some people recognize them and start asking for
autographs and a crowd forms.

ON MANTAN AND CHEEBA

They're enjoying the adulation.

ANOTHER CORNER

Big Black and the Mau-Mau's also look up at the 2 REAL COONS
billboard.  Their faces say they are not happy.

CLOSE ON 2 REAL COONS BILLBOARD

						CUT TO:

CLOSE ON AMERICAN FLAG

It blows majestically in the wind.

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	When American people want something,
	they want it now, they want it big.

NEWSREEL FOOTAGE

Kids swinging in their hula hoops.

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	They wanted the hula hoop...

NEWSREEL FOOTAGE

Kids playing with their yo-yo's.

								93.


		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	They wanted their yo-yo's.

NEWSREEL FOOTAGE

A young girl petting her Pet Rock.

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	Who could ever forget those lovable
	pet rocks.

						CUT TO:

INT. TOYS "R" US

Parents are fighting over Beanie Babies.  It's a RUCKUS.

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	Beanie Babies...

EXT. TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT

Mantan and Sleep 'N Eat are doing a tap dance on the GIANT
DIAMONDVISION SCREEN.

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	Now the latest, hottest, newest
	sensation across the nation was...

CLOSE ON MANTAN AND SLEEP 'N EAT

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	BLACKFACE!!!

BLACKFACE MONTAGE

We SEE AMERICANS - young, old, black and white in BLACKFACE.
MANTAN and SLEEP 'N EAT are #1 and #2 in the best-selling
Halloween masks.  They fly out of the stores.  We SEE Mantan
and Sleep 'N Eat THE DUSKY DUO Action Dolls, backpacks,
lunch boxes, T-shirts, jackets, board games, watches, and
CD-Rom video games.  Football players, wrestlers in black
face also.

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	It was the rage.

INT. RECORDING STUDIO

Big Black stands behind 1/16th Black who sits in front of a
laptop computer.

								94.


		1/16TH BLACK
	Big Black, I can't log on the
	Mantan Website now, it's overloaded.

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	The Mantan - The New Millennium
	Minstrel Show at www.nigger.com was
	getting 500,000 hits a day.

		BIG BLACK
	Keep trying.

		1/16TH BLACK
	I'm on it.

INT. CAR DEALER - DAY

A Mercedes-Benz salesman is showing Mantan all the newest,
latest models.

INT. JUSTINE'S RESTAURANT - NIGHT

Mantan and Cheeba sit at a big table with Puff Daddy, Andre
Harrell, Russell Simmons and other assorted RAPPERS.
Everyone is drinking that DOM P.  Buxom Hotties sit in
between the BIG WILLIES.

EXT. CNS BUILDING - DAY

A group of protesters led by the REVEREND JESSE JACKSON and
AL SHARPTON carry signs and banners objecting to Mantan.
They're calling upon the FCC to pull the show off the air
and for the boycotting of the show's two sponsors: TIMMI
HILLNIGGER and DA BOMB MALT LIQUOR.

ON PROTESTERS

The press is watching.

INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - DAY

Delacroix has now decorated his entire office with Black
Collectibles Art.  WE SEE black jockey lawn pieces, banks,
mammies, signs for products, etc.

ON WINDOW

Delacroix and Mantan are looking out the office window down
on the protesters.

		MANTAN
	Why is Jess and Reverend Al down
	there?

								95.


		DELACROIX
	So they can be on TV.

		MANTAN
	You sound like the media.

		DELACROIX
	This is nothing.  It will blow over
	by tomorrow.

		MANTAN
	Same thing Giuliani said.

		DELACROIX
	Tomorrow it will be all about
	cruelty to animals or some sex
	scandal.  Besides, there is no such
	thing as bad publicity.

He hands Mantan a wrapped gift.

		DELACROIX (CONT'D)
	Rest your mind.  It's a little
	somethin' something.

Mantan opens it.  He pulls out an old pair of tap shoes.

		DELACROIX (CONT'D)
	Those were the last pair of tap
	shoes worn by Bill "Bojangles"
	Robinson.  In fact, he died with
	them on.

Mantan starts to laugh.

		DELACROIX (CONT'D)
	No joke.  Serious.

		MANTAN
	Hope the same thing doesn't happen
	to me.  That's some big shoes to
	fill.

		DELACROIX
	In time.

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - NIGHT

The Mau-Mau's are in meeting.  They all drink 64 ounce
jugulars of Da Bomb, are all attired from head to toe in
TIMMI HILLNIGGER Active Ghetto Wear and brandish their 9's.

		BIG BLACK
	That Tom, That Negro...

								96.


		DOUBLE BLACK
	...that handkerchief head...

		BLACK BLACK
	...dancing monkey...

		1/16TH BLACK
	...Benedict Arnold...

		BIG BLACK
	...that simpleton is holding back
	the race.  They got rid of us and
	keep those two buffoons, Mantan and
	Sleep 'N Eat, y'knowwhatI'msayin'?

		HARD BLACK
	Yo, Big Black, Sleep 'N Eat ain't
	even a nigger, y'knowwhatI'msayin'?

		SMOOTH BLACK
	He's Mexican, y'knowwhatI'msayin'?

		MO BLACK
	He's Dominican, y'knowwhatI'msayin'?

		JO BLACK
	He's Peter Rican,
	y'knowwhatI'msayin'?

		BIG BLACK
	Same thing, y'knowwhatI'msayin',
	y'knowwhatI'msayin'!

		1/16TH BLACK
	We know.  We know.  Yo, check it,
	my black brothers, we can't let
	this slide.  Not this injustice.
	Nah, no way.  Dem' two real coons
	iz ill.

		BIG BLACK
	1/16, tru' 'dat.  True 'dat.

		DOUBLE BLACK
	Let me gat him.

		BIG BLACK
	Nah, too easy, this has to be
	symbolic, has to be on the world
	stage.

INT. MANTAN'S APARTMENT - CENTRAL PARK WEST - DAY

Mantan is showing Sloan his new residence.

								97.


		SLOAN
	This is a nice place.  It must have
	cost a pretty penny.

		MANTAN
	Sloan, I got it like 'dat.

		SLOAN
	Oh you do, huh?

		MANTAN
	Just a little something' somethin'.

		SLOAN
	I hope you save a little somethin'
	somethin'.

		MANTAN
	Gots no intention of ending up broke.

		SLOAN
	Y'know, at the beginnin' of the
	century, African-American had to
	perform in blackface.  You ever
	heard of Bert Williams?  He was a
	great artist.

		MANTAN
	No, before my time.

		SLOAN
	You don't read, do you?

		MANTAN
	Never read a book in my whole life.

		SLOAN
	Maybe you need to start.

		MANTAN
	Maybe I need to do a lot of things.

		SLOAN
	Bert Williams and the rest, they
	had to black up.  They had no
	choice.  They were considered
	3/5ths of a human being.  Did you
	know that's written in the
	Constitution of the United States?

								98.


		MANTAN
	Why all of a sudden are you flippin'
	on me?  This blackface thing was
	part of the deal from the git-go.
	Don't even try to play it like you
	ain't a part of all this.  You down
	with Delacroix.

		SLOAN
	I just don't want you and Cheeba to
	get hurt.

		MANTAN
	We can look out for ourselves.

INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

Sleep 'N Eat is applying his black face.

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

Mantan also puts on his mask.

INT. STAGE

CLOSE ON HONEYCUTT

		HONEYCUTT
	Let's have a warm nigger applause
	for our two favorite coons, Mantan
	and Sleep 'N Eat.  TWO REAL COONS!

ON AUDIENCE

The entire audience is in BLACK FACE.  They applaud, yell,
cheer wildly.  This is becoming a religious cult.

ON STAGE

The curtain rises on Mantan and Sleep 'N Eat.  They are in a
cotton field.

		MANTAN
	I fell out of my bed last night.

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	You slept too near where you got in?

		MANTAN
	I slept too near where I fell out.

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	You expect the unexpected in
	circumstances of that peculiarity.

								99.


		MANTAN
	Sleep 'N Eat, what's the matter
	with you?  Using all dose ten
	dollar words?

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	Mantan, it is possible that my
	hyphenated sentences are entirely
	too complex for all the intellect
	contained in that diminutive coconut?

		MANTAN
	Hold on, you allegorical hypothesis.
	Don't cross words with me.

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	Ain't Jemima on the pancake box?

		MANTAN
	Dat's yo Uncle Ben.  That reminds
	me, I've seen a lot of troubles
	lately.

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	How be dat?

		MANTAN
	I don't know who I am.

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	Well, I'll be an Alabama porch
	monkey's uncle.

		MANTAN
	Years ago I married a widow who had
	a grown-up daughter.  My daddy
	visited us often, fell in love with
	my stepdaughter and married her.
	Thusly he became my son-in-law and
	my stepdaughter became my mother
	because she was my father's wife.
	Soon after dis my wife gave birth
	to a son, which of course was my
	father's brother in-law and my
	uncle, for he was the brother of my
	step-mother.  My father's wife also
	became the mother of a son.  He was
	of course my brother and also my
	grandchild for he was the son of my
	daughter.  Accordingly, my wife was
	my grandmother because she was my
	mother's mother.
		(MORE)

								 100.


		MANTAN (CONT'D)
	Sleep 'N Eat, I was my wife's
	husband and grandchild at one and
	the same time.  And lo' and behold,
	as the husband of a person's
	grandmother is his grandfather, I
	Mantan, became my own grandfather.

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	Mantan, dat sho' is a whopper.

They both start to do the jig.

INT. CONTROL BOOTH

Delacroix is dying laughing.

		DUNWITTY
	You couldn't hold out any longer,
	huh?

ON SLOAN

She looks at Delacroix, her face tells us she's not amused
at all.

ON TV SCREEN

The Dusky Duo is joined on the cotton patch by Snowflake,
Rastus, Sambo, Nigga Jim, Jungle Bunny, Aunt Jemima, And the
Porch Monkeys Band.

		MANTAN
	I feel a song a comin' on.

		SLEEP 'N EAT
	A song a comin' I feel.

The Porch Monkeys kick in and Mantan sings.

		MANTAN
	I fell right dead in love/wid da
	sweetest little dove/little LuLu
	Snow from Tennessee/she made a
	slave of me/an' from her I'se never
	free/I'd do anything she'd ask me
	to...

Sleep 'N Eat takes over.

								 101.


		SLEEP 'N EAT
	De money I did save/to dat yeller
	gal I gave/for to keep till we was
	wed/she told me dat nobody'd get
	away dat cash/I'll take good care
	of date, she said.

Everybody joins in for the chorus.

		PIKCANINNINIES
	She's de cutest gal in all dis
	world I know/If you met her you
	would say it so/Oh, Lulu, Lulu,
	ev'ry day I pines for you/no other
	gal will do/All I've got is yours
	for life, my little, my little
	yaller Lou/A week ago dat Lou wid
	anudder nigger flew/took ma money
	too, all I had/She broke ma heart
	in two/when I heard dat she had
	flew/Do you wonder dat I feel so
	bad?/She told me not to cry 'case
	she didn't say good bye/but she'd
	take care of dat red/and nobody
	would get de cash away from
	her/She'd keep her word to me she
	said.

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - NIGHT

The Mau-Mau clan surrounds the television monitor, howling
in disgust.

		BIG BLACK
	He gots to be did.

		1/16TH BLACK
	Did he gots to be.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

Delacroix is leading the meeting of the staff writers on
Mantan.

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	To my astonishment, not only did
	the people in TV land love us, but
	also the critics.
_
								 102.


CLOSE ON DELACROIX

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	Mantan was being hailed as
	groundbreaking, barrier breaking,
	also earth shaking.  I looked
	forward to my awards.  Just
	vindication for all my hard work,
	all my talent that had been
	previously overlooked.

INT. THEATER - NIGHT

Delacroix sits in tux amongst many stars.

		ALEC BALDWIN
	The winner for Best New Sitcom is...
	The envelope please...

A starlet hands him the envelope.

		ALEC BALDWIN (CONT'D)
	The winner is... Pierre Delacroix
	for Mantan - The New Millennium
	Minstrel Show!

Delacroix jumps out og his chair and starts sobbing.  Two
ushers have to help him to the stage.  He is overcome with
emotion.  The audience is on their feet with a standing
ovation.  He hugs Alec Baldwin.

		DELACROIX
	Alec Baldwin, this is the very
	first time we've ever met, you
	don't know this, I'm your biggest
	fan and I want you to have my Emmy.
	It's for you, out of the deep
	bowels of my heart - I don't
	deserve this.  You take it.

Alec Baldwin is shocked.  He grabs Delacroix in a bear hug
and they both cry like babies.

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	If I did that I'd be assured to
	work forever.  Delacroix the
	grateful Negro.

INT. HOTEL BALLROOM - NIGHT

Delacroix sits at a table in his lucky tux.

		WOODY HARRELSON
	The winner for Best Sit-Com is...

								 103.


Woody opens the envelope.

		WOODY HARRELSON (CONT'D)
	...Pierre Delacroix for Mantan.
	Come on up and get your Golden Globe.

Delacroix jumps out of his seat and sprints.  He gets down
on the stage and starts to breakdance, even spinning on his
head.

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	That routine would go over like
	gangbusters.  I would be a dancing
	fool, Hollywood's new favorite
	Negro, move over Danny, Morgan,
	Samuel L., move over Whoopi.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

Delacroix is finishing up the meeting.

		DELACROIX
	I had it all planned.  To the T.

INT. DANCE STUDIO - DAY

Mantan is running rigorous rehearsal of The Pikaninnies.
Over and over, repetition after repetition, Snowflake,
Rastus, Sambo, Nigger Jim, Jungle Bunny and Aunt Jemima try
to do an intricate dance step.

		MANTAN
	I'm tired of you pickaninnies
	messing up my choreography.  It
	goes like this.

Mantan does the step with ease.

		MANTAN (CONT'D)
	Try it again.

The dancers do it once more.

		MANTAN (CONT'D)
	Better.

Cheeba walks in.  Mantan checks him out.

		MANTAN (CONT'D)
	Let's take a ten minute break.

They quickly file past Cheeba without saying a word.  The
rehearsal space is just the two.

								 104.


		CHEEBA
	I'm not drinking the Kool-Aid.

		MANTAN
	What are you talkin' about?

		CHEEBA
	Jim Jones, y'know.  I'm not drinking
	the Kool-Aid.

		MANTAN
	Meaning?

		CHEEBA
	I'm out.

		MANTAN
	Good.  I've got a broken back from
	carrying you all these years anyway.

		CHEEBA
	So that's what you been doing?

		MANTAN
	Damn skippy.

		CHEEBA
	You're in this up till ya neck.

		MANTAN
	Don't shoot me, I'm just the piano
	players.

		CHEEBA
	You can walk away.  We both can.

		MANTAN
	Yeah, that's easy for you to do.
	You never had any talent.

		CHEEBA
	I'm so tired of you running that.
	I always worked hard for you.  You
	think I'm a leech, a kling-on, I
	quit.

Cheeba walks out.

		MANTAN
	I'm the star of Mantan, so you do
	that.  Quit, walk away.  And don't
	come crawling back, either.

								 105.


INT. LIMOUSINE - NIGHT

Mantan and Sloan ride in back.  He's still thinking about
Cheeba.

		SLOAN
	Why don't you call him?

		MANTAN
	For what?  He left.  Not me.

EXT. APOLLO THEATRE - NIGHT

The limo drives past the World Famous Apollo Theatre in
Harlem, a big crowd is in front.

TIGHT ON THEATRE

It READS: MANTAN THE MARVELOUS

INT. DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

It's an unruly, fired up crowd that can be heard all the way
back here.

		SLOAN
	You're sure this is a good idea.

		MANTAN
	My people love me.

He kisses her, she doesn't resist.

		SLOAN
	I love you.

After a long, deep kiss she gently pulls back.

		SLOAN (CONT'D)
	I'll be down front.  You better
	start putting your face on.

		MANTAN
	Y'know what?

		SLOAN
	What?

		MANTAN
	You look beautiful like that.

INT. APOLLO THEATRE - NIGHT

Sloan takes a seat down front.

								 106.


INT. DRESSING ROOM

Mantan, face already done, puts on the firetruck red lipstick.

INT. APOLLO THEATRE

Sloan is looking around this boisterous crowd when she sees

ON THE MAU-MAU'S

In one of the side boxes.

ON BIG BLACK

He waves to his sister.

ON SLOAN

She knows her brother and his clan are up to no good as the
house lights go black.

ANGLE ON STAGE

Honeycutt walks out on stage.  The audience goes crazy.

		HONEYCUTT
	Thank you so very much.  Show me
	some love.

He laughs.

		HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
	Thank you.  My name is Honeycutt
	and I want to welcome you to a very
	special evening.  It's always great
	coming back to the World Famous
	Apollo Theatre.

The audience applauds.

		HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
	As everybody knows if you can make
	it here on this stage in front of
	the most discriminating audience in
	the world you can make it anywhere.
	Ladies and gentlemen, let's show
	some real Uptown love for Mantan
	The Marvelous!

The curtain goes up and Mantan the Marvelous stands there,
arms raised.  He starts to do his thing.

								 107.


ON MAU-MAU BOX

Led by Big Black, they start shouting insults at Mantan.

ON STAGE

Mantan is a pro, he doesn't stop.  In fact, this makes him
dance harder and harder.

ON SLOAN

She leaves her seat and goes to stop her brother.

ON STAGE

Mantan is moving and grooving.  The unrest in the audience
has picked up.

ON AUDIENCE

They start to "boo."  The tide has turned.  Encouraged, the
Mau-Mau's pick it up another notch.

ON MANTAN

He's human after all, and he does hear the boos.  Don't let
those athletes in the papers fool you.  You hear the boos
and nobody, nobody except Dennis Rodman likes to be booed.
Mantan is getting rattled.

ON MAU-MAU'S BOX

Sloan rushes into the box and they are quiet.  They don't
have to say or shout a thing.  The rough Apollo crowd is
doing it all themselves.

TWO SHOT ON SLOAN AND BIG BLACK

The sister and big brother look at each other.  There is no
love between them.

		SLOAN
	This doesn't change a thing.  I
	will still love him.

Big Black can't believe what he has just heard.

ON STAGE

Now projectiles are raining down upon Mantan.  This has
turned into a RUCKUS, a BROUHAHA, a DONNYBROOK.  Honeycutt
races onto the stage to pull off the still tap dancing
Mantan as the Harlem natives BUMRUSH the stage.  THE WORM
HAS TURNED.

								 108.


ON MAU-MAU'S BOX

Mantan, led by Honeycutt, runs for his life.

ON MOB

They chase him.

ON BACKSTAGE DOOR

Mantan is hauling ass.

EXT. BACKSTAGE

The door crashes open, Mantan rockets out into an open car
door.

ON CAR DOOR

The door slams.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

The car spins away.

INT. CAR - NIGHT

Delacroix is behind the wheel.  This is the most shaken
we've seen Mantan to date.

		DELACROIX
	Pull ya self together.

Mantan is distraught.

		DELACROIX (CONT'D)
	What are you?  A man or a mouse?
	Are you a punk?  Punking out on me?

		MANTAN
	No.

		DELACROIX
	You getting scared because some
	people don't like what you are doing?

		MANTAN
	Yo, DeLa, they tried to lynch my
	black ass up in dat piece.

								 109.


		DELACROIX
	You've made it from the guttermost
	to the uppermost.  Don't you know
	you should never let them see you
	sweat.  Y'knowwhatI'msayin'?

		MANTAN
	Yeah.

		DELACROIX
	And now is definitely not the time
	to bitch up.

EXT. HARLEM STREET - NIGHT

Delacroix speeds away.

INT. BET STUDIO - NIGHT

Mantan is on the BET show with host TAVIS SMILEY.

		TAVIS SMILEY
	Our guest tonight is the
	extraordinary, talented performer,
	Mantan.  Thanks for coming in.

		MANTAN
	Tavis, thank you for having me.

		TAVIS SMILEY
	Before we begin, I want to thank
	you for coming on my show for your
	first television interview.  You
	could have chosen Mike Wallace,
	Barbara Walters, Jane Pauley,
	whatnot but you're here.

		MANTAN
	I'm more comfortable around my
	people.

		TAVIS SMILEY
	Let's jump right into it.  Your
	show has sparked a world of
	controversy, provoked a tone of
	dialogue.  How do you see all of
	this?

		MANTAN
	Yo, Tavis, check it out.  This is
	the two-one, the 21st century and
	it's all about the money.  Like my
	man Mase says, "it's all about the
	Benjamins."

								 110.


		TAVIS SMILEY
	Money and nothing else?

		MANTAN
	Money makes the world go round.  It
	ain't no joke being poor.  I know
	whatI'mtalkin''bout.
	Y'knowwhatI'msayin'?  I've lived on
	the street.  I've been homeless.
	I've learned how to play the game,
	work the game, be in the game.

		TAVIS SMILEY
	Is it inevitable that the game
	plays you?

		MANTAN
	No if you go with the flow, Tavis.
	That's what a lot of Negroes don't
	understand.  Protesting isn't gonna
	do a damn thing.  If people don't
	like our satire in our number one
	hit show then don't watch it.  Or
	better yet write your own show.  Do
	it better.

		TAVIS SMILEY
	Don't you feel that is a simplistic
	retort?

		MANTAN
	I don't know what a retort is, but
	it's simple.  Mantan - The New
	Millennium Minstrel Show is
	UNIVERSAL.  It's not just for
	Negroes in Compton or 125th in
	Harlem.  This is America.  Our
	ancestors helped build this country,
	we got a right, just like everybody
	else.  I'm not gonna box myself in.
	This show makes people think, and
	they're laughing at the same time.

		TAVIS SMILEY
	I admit, that's a very hard thing
	to do.  Quickly let's go to the
	phones before we pay the bills and
	hear from our proud sponsors, DA
	BOMB.  125% PURE PLEASURE MALT
	LIQUOR.  IT MAKES YOU WANNA GET YA
	FREAK ON AND TIMMI HILLNIGGER.
	125% AUTHENTIC GIT-TOE GEAR WHEN
	YOU WANT TO BE GIT-TOED FABULOUS.
		(MORE)

								 111.


		TAVIS SMILEY (CONT'D)
	Our first caller is Big Black from
	Brooklyn.  Go 'head.

ON MANTAN

		BIG BLACK (O.S.)
	Microphone check, one, two.  One,
	two.  Yo Tavis, I be lovin' yo show
	but Mantan you is foul.  Why you
	perpetrating?  You a sellout.

		MANTAN
	That's our opinion.

		BIG BLACK (O.S.)
	You're a traitor to the race.  A
	tool for the Caucasoids.

		MANTAN
	Why?  Because I'm successful?
	Because I don't use "Causcasoids"
	as an excuse for not fulfilling my
	dreams?

		BIG BLACK (O.S.)
	I ain't hearing all dat noise.  You
	getting played and you don't even
	know it.

		TAVIS SMILEY
	And Big Black from Brooklyn, what
	do you do?

		BIG BLACK (O.S.)
	What do I do?

		TAVIS SMILEY
	What do you do?

		BIG BLACK (O.S.)
	I'm a revolutionary.

		MANTAN
	That's a job?

		BIG BLACK (O.S.)
	That's a full time job, especially
	when sellouts like you are running
	around, acting insane.

		TAVIS SMILEY
	That's enough.

								 112.


		BIG BLACK (O.S.)
	And another thing, you better stay
	away from my sister or you better...

CLICK!!!

		TAVIS SMILEY
	Ladies and gentlemen, there is no
	need to go there.  We can all agree
	to disagree without making threats.

INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - NIGHT

Sloan turns off the TV.

		DELACROIX
	Why'd you do that?

		SLOAN
	I don't want to hear it.

		DELACROIX
	How long have you and Hambone been
	hangin' out?

		SLOAN
	You're the one that put us together.
	We're friends.

		DELACROIX
	That crazy brother of yours doesn't
	think so.

		SLOAN
	He's just playing big brother.

		DELACROIX
	Oh, is he?  You getting jiggy with
	Mantan?

		SLOAN
	Please don't go there.

		DELACROIX
	Dunwitty and I feel you've been
	getting too close to him, getting
	his mind all messed up.

		SLOAN
	I can't lie to him.  If he asks me
	something, I tell him what I think.

		DELACROIX
	Do you have to be so damn forthright?

								 113.


		SLOAN
	DeLa, you should try it sometime.
	Come into the light.

		DELACROIX
	Light?

		SLOAN
	That which has been hidden in
	darkness is now in the light.  This
	bucket of blood.

		DELACROIX
	You can talk all that mumbo jumbo
	if you want to but your hands are
	much bloody.  I know where I made
	my big mistake.  I have a general
	rule, never get involved
	romantically with somebody crazier
	than you.

CUT TO FLASHBACK

INT. MIDTOWN HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Delacroix and Sloan are taking off their clothes.

		DELACROIX
	This is crazy.

		SLOAN
	That's why it will be so much fun.

They kiss, fall half undressed upon the motel bed.

						CUT BACK TO:

INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - NIGHT

		SLOAN
	That was a mistake, but I don't
	regret it.

		DELACROIX
	The first and only time.  A big
	mistake.  I'm gonna have to ask you
	not to see Mantan anymore.

		SLOAN
	Work related or otherwise?

								 114.


		DELACROIX
	Otherwise.  I trust you know the
	difference.  You're an intelligent
	woman, finished at NYU.

		SLOAN
	DeLa, kiss my big black ass.

		DELACROIX
	And that's how you got me in the
	first place.

Sloan pulls a 3/4 inch cassette out of her bag and hands it
to him.

		SLOAN
	I want you to please view this.  It
	may save your Life.

INT. MANTAN'S APARTMENT - DAY

Mantan and Delacroix are in the middle of a heated discussion.

		DELACROIX
	You shouldn't even be mad at me
	over Sloan.

		MANTAN
	What you did is dead wrong.

		DELACROIX
	Oh, is it?  Buddy boy, in this
	business if people don't produce,
	they get fired.

		MANTAN
	Sloan is the hardest working person
	I've ever met.

		DELACROIX
	Let me ask you a question, if I may.
	How do you think she got the job in
	the first place?  I don't mean to
	burst your bubble, Mantan the
	Marvelous, but Sloan is an
	opportunity.

		MANTAN
	I don't believe it.

		DELACROIX
	Do I have to spell it out for you?
	In fact, go ask Sloan yourself.

								 115.


INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT - DAY

Mantan is grilling Sloan.

		MANTAN
	How did you get this gig?

		SLOAN
	Worked my black ass off, first as
	an intern, then worked my way up to
	this position.

		MANTAN
	You leave something out?

		SLOAN
	After my internship expired, Dela
	was impressed and offered me a
	position as his assistant.

		MANTAN
	And?

		SLOAN
	And what?

		MANTAN
	Stop playing me Sloan.

		SLOAN
	Just ask me what you want to know.

		MANTAN
	Oh, you gonna make me say it.

		SLOAN
	Say what, Manray?

		MANTAN
	Did you ever sleep with DeLa?

		SLOAN
	We did it one time, only once.  It
	had nothing to do with the job, it
	was stupid.  Everything I've got
	I've earned.

		MANTAN
	Aw, c'mon.

		SLOAN
	That's ancient history.  That has
	nothing to do with you and I.

								 116.


		MANTAN
	So you say.  Sloan, you wuz gonna
	use me up just like you used Dela?
	Work it to the top.  I never
	imagined people in this biz could
	flip on you like "IHOP."  I'm damn
	happy DeLa fired ya ass.

		SLOAN
	Forget about me, are you a puppet
	for DeLa?

		MANTAN
	Don't try to change to the subject.

		SLOAN
	Why don't you answer?

		MANTAN
	I know I won't be your puppet.

		SLOAN
	You can go now.

		MANTAN
	I wuz leaving anyway, for good.

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - NIGHT

As usual, the clan is smoking and drinking DA BOMB, a thick
marijuana haze hangs over the studio.

		1/16TH BLACK
	Yo, I got da bomb plan.  We gonna
	hook homeslice Mantan up nicely.

He holds up a floppy disk.

INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - NIGHT

Delacroix sits behind the desk.  He's bought even more Black
Collectibles, he's surrounded by them.

ON DELACROIX

He dials the phone.

		DELACROIX
	Hello, Mommy, how are you?

								 117.


		ORCHID (O.S.)
	I'm doing okay.  Been reading about
	your show, it's all over everywhere.
	I watched it's all over everywhere.
	I watched it once.  I thought you
	said there would be no buffoonery.

		DELACROIX
	You going to attack me too.  The
	show is a hit.  Aren't you happy
	for me?

INT. ORCHID'S HOUSE

		ORCHID
	Of course I'm happy for you.
	You've worked very hard for your
	success.

		DELACROIX (O.S.)
	Yes I have, very hard.  Has Daddy
	called?

		ORCHID
	No.

ON DELACROIX

		DELACROIX
	Not at all?

		ORCHID (O.S.)
	You know how your Daddy is.

		DELACROIX
	If and when he calls, please don't
	forget to ask him if he's seen
	Mantan.

		ORCHID (O.S.)
	I won't forget.  When are you
	coming up here to see your mother?

		DELACROIX
	Soon.

Delacroix hangs up the phone.  He takes out some change from
his pocket and puts a quarter in the hand of his Jolly
Nigger Bank.

TIGHT ON JNB

Delacroix flips the lever and the quarter flies into the
MOUTH as the EYES roll to the top of its HEAD.

								 118.


Delacroix does this several times.  CLOSEUPS of the BLACK
COLLECTIBLES in the office.

CLOSER ON JNB

Delacroix is staring at the JNB when its MOUTH OPENS, a
quarter flies in and its EYES roll to the top of its HEAD.

ON DELACROIX

He is incredulous.

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	When I thought or imagined that my
	favorite Jolly Nigger Bank, an
	inanimate object, a piece of cold,
	cast iron, was moving by itself...

Delacroix slowly, carefully approaches the bank and picks it
off the table.

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	...I knew I was getting paranoid.
	Did I really see what I saw or was
	I buggin'?

ON JNB

It's stopped moving.

INT. STAGE - NIGHT

Honeycutt is warming up the crazed "Black Face"-wearing
audience.  He points to a YOUNG WHITE MALE, BOBBY

		HONEYCUTT
	Is you a nigga?

		BOBBY
	Hell yeah, I'm a nigga.

The AUDIENCE CHEERS WILDLY.  Honeycutt points to an old
WHITE LADY, LOUISE, a senior citizen.

		HONEYCUTT
	Ma'am, is you a nigga?

		LOUISE
	Yesiree Bob, you darn tootin' I'm a
	nigger.

The AUDIENCE loses it as Honeycutt hugs Louise as if she's a
grandmother.

								 119.


INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

Mantan looks up at his makeup laid out before him on the
counter.

TIGHT ON MANTAN

He stares at himself in the dressing room mirror.  Mantan
can't stand to BLACK UP anymore.

INT. STAGE - NIGHT

Honeycutt stands next to a young black couple TRE and STACY.

		HONEYCUTT
	Are you a nigger?

		TRE
	Yo!

		HONEYCUTT
	Are you a nigga?

		STACY
	Honeycutt, I'm a really real
	niggress.

Stacy gets a standing ovation.

		HONEYCUTT
	You.  You.  Him.  Her.  We're all
	God's niggas.  Even the lost souls
	who don't know it are niggas cuz
	niggas is a beautiful thing.

INT. BACKSTAGE - NIGHT

As Mantan walks down the hallway WE NOTICE he is not dressed
in his costume and he has no BLACK FACE on.

EXT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

A Worker is painting over Sleep 'N Eat's name on the door
and replacing it with HONEYCUTT

		MANTAN
	They don't waste any time, do they?

INT. CONTROL BOOTH - NIGHT

The phone rings next to Delacroix and he answers.

								 120.


		DELACROIX
	Delacroix.  What?!  I'll be right
	down.

Dunwitty looks at him.

INT. BACKSTAGE - NIGHT

Delacroix is met by BUNNING, the STAGE MANAGER.

		BUNNING
	You better talk to him.  He won't
	listen to me.

Delacroix walks over to Mantan who stands in a corner.

		DELACROIX
	Mantan, we got a show to tape.

		MANTAN
	My name is Manray, goddamnit.

		DELACROIX
	Kook and the Gang, it's Manray.
	Let's do the taping.  You go back
	to your dressing room, get dressed
	and blacken up.

		MANRAY
	I'm not playin' myself no mo'.

		DELACROIX
	How you sound?

		MANRAY
	I won't do it anymore.

		DELACROIX
	Manray, I'm very sorry about ya boy
	Cheeba and Sloan.  Believe me, it
	gave me no joy pulling ya coattail
	about her, just lookin' out for a
	brother.  I feel you, all this
	stuff happenin' at once but you
	can't let if affect your work.  You
	gotta be professional.

		MANRAY
	I'm always gonna be that.  But I
	ain't doing no more buck dancing.

		DELACROIX
	No costume.  No blackface.

								 121.


		MANRAY
	No.  No.

Manray leads the way to the stage.

		BUNNING
	I should notify Dunwitty.

		DELACROIX
	And I should put my foot dead up in
	yo' ass.

		BUNNING
	I won't be held responsible.

INT. STAGE - NIGHT

Honeycutt stands in front of the drawn curtain.

		HONEYCUTT
	We apologize for the holdup but
	without further delay, ladies and
	gentlemen, boys and girls, let's
	give it up for Mantan.

A THUNDEROUS ROAR FROM THE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

		HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
	C'mon, don't be niggardly, give it
	up.  Show Mantan some love.

The CURTAIN RISES and MANRAY stands before them in his
regular street clothes and NO BLACK FACE.

ON AUDIENCE

The THUNDEROUS ROAR is CUT OFF LIKE the LIGHTS, LIKE CON
EDISON PULLS THE PLUG WHEN YOU DON'T PAY THE BILL.

INT. CONTROL BOOTH - NIGHT

Dunwitty is HYSTERICAL.

		DUNWITTY
	Stop the tape.  Stop the tape.
	Delacroix.  Get me Delacroix.

INT. STAGE - NIGHT

Manray speaks to the silence.
_
								 122.


		MANRAY
	Cousins, I want all of you to go to
	your windows.  Go to your windows
	and yell, scream with all the life
	you can muster up inside your
	assaulted, bruised amd battered
	bodies.

ON MANRAY

		MANRAY
	I'm sick and tired of being a
	nigger and I'm not gonna take it
	anymore.

ON VARIOUS AUDIENCE MEMBERS

Black and white.  Male and female.  Young and old.  All in
black face.

ON MANRAY

He collapses onto the stage and the AUDIENCE sits on their
hands.  Manray gets up and begins to dance.

ON STAGE

Dunwitty runs to Bunning.

		DUNWITTY
	Drop the curtain.  Drop the curtain.

Bunning drops the curtain.  Security rushes onto the stage
and grabs Manray.

		DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
	Escort him out the building now!

		MANRAY
	I wasn't finished doing my dance.

		DUNWITTY
	But you are finished.  Done.
	Nigga's like you are a dime a dozen.
	I'm gonna slide Honeycutt right
	into ya spot.  We won't miss a step.
	Get him outta here.

The security guards move Manray as Dunitty glares at
Delacroix.  Honeycutt is all smiles, he's being bumped to
the top.

		DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
	DeLa, I'll deal with you next.

								 123.


EXT. BACKSTAGE

The security guards toss Manray out the stage door.  Manray
looks down the alley and it's empty except for a parked SUV.
He picks himself up and does a joyous dance.  This is
Manray's dance of Freedom.

ON STREET

The Big Black Chevy Suburban creeps down the alley to a
dancing Manray and comes to rest right in front of him.
Manray tries to shield his eyes from the hi-beam headlights.

		MANRAY
	Whaddup?

No one comes out.

		MANRAY (CONT'D)
	Whaddup?

The doors open and the Mau-Mau's file out.

		BIG BLACK
	You truly are a dancing fool.

		1/16TH BLACK
	Yo Black, you looking for trouble.

		MANRAY
	Don't start none, won't be none.

The Mau-Mau's are dying laughing.  Manray tries to walk
through them.  They block him.  Manray attempts to climb
over the suburban.  He's quickly nabbed, give a good ole
Brooklyn Beatdown, then thrown into the rear of the vehicle.

EXT. EMPTY BROOKLYN STREET - NIGHT

The Mau-Mau Mobile rolls up to an abandoned factory.

ON CHEVY SUBURBAN

The Mau-Mau's quickly carry Manray out from the back of the
vehicle into the factory.

INT. FACTORY - NIGHT

Manray sits, feet and hands tied, in the middle of a
cavernous space.  A digital video camera stands on a tripod
in front of him.

		BIG BLACK
	You is one dead nigger.

								 124.


		MANRAY
	What did I do?

		BIG BLACK
	What did you do?

The Mau-Mau's laugh.

		BIG BLACK (CONT'D)
	Brothers, he asks what did he do?

		DOUBLE BLACK
	If you don't know there is nuthin'
	we can do for you.

		BIG BLACK
	Nigga, you will be executed.

ON MANRAY

His face says he can't believe this is happening.

		MANRAY
	For singing and dancing?

		1/16TH BLACK
	You will be done in front of the
	world.

		MO BLACK
	The whole world will be watching.

		1/16TH BLACK
	Via the internet.

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	The Mau-Mau's had come up with a
	brilliant, sadistic plan to
	broadcast Mantan's execution LIVE
	over the internet.

		1/16TH BLACK
	We have pirated broadcasting
	facilities.  No way we can be found
	out.  We're in cyberspace.

		JO BLACK
	Nobody will find you till it's too
	late.

MONTAGE

Various newsrooms, computer screens, people running,
shouting, yelling over phones.

								 125.


		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	The Mau-Mau's sent anonymous e-mail
	proclamations to the websites of
	CNN, ABC, MSNBC and CBS.  It was an
	invite to witness the Dance of
	Death, 9 PM, prime time, tomorrow
	night on a site to be designated at
	a later date.

INT. FBI HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT

Delacroix and Cheeba are being interrogated in two adjoining
spaces.  WE ARE seeing them through the two-way mirrors.

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	It's no joke getting grilled by the
	FBI for five houts.

Delacroix SCREAMS.

		DELACROIX (CONT'D)
	I don't know anything.

		FBI AGENT
	We know you're involved in this
	abduction.

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - NIGHT

		CHEEBA
	You know more than me.  Why would I
	do something like that to my best
	friend?  Why?

		FBI AGENT #2
	You tell us.

EXT. FBI HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT

It's a mob scene as the media frenzy heightens.  Delacroix
and Cheeba try to fight their way through the print and
broadcast journalists trying to question them as they leave
FBI headquarters.

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	Somehow, someway, somebody had
	tipped the sharks off.  It was a
	feeding frenzy.

Delacroix and Cheeba start pushing people out of the way as
they get in to their waiting car.

								 126.


INT. X-FORCE WAR ROOM - NIGHT

There is a flurry of activity - people man phones, computers
all HI-TECH.

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	The X-Force was brought onto the
	case.  When something involves the
	internet, these are the people IBM,
	XEROX, the CIA, FBI, even the US
	Government go to.

ON CLOCK

It reads "T-minus 19 HOURS 22 MINUTES."

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	It was a race against time.  The
	Dance of Death.

INT. CNS STUDIO - NIGHT

Dunwitty is taping a spot.

		DUNWITTY
	Hello, my name is Thomas Dunwitty.
	I'm the Senior V.P. of the
	entertainment division here at CNS.
	I come to you with a heavy heart.

INT. SLOAN'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

She's watching Dunwitty on TV.

		DUNWITTY
	This abduction is a cowardly, vile,
	sinful and dastardly act and I
	promise these creeps will be
	prosecuted to the fullest extent of
	the law.  This is an attack on your
	American way of life...

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT

He's watching the same.

		DUNWITTY
	We here at CNS are offering a
	$100,000 cash award to any
	information that leads to the safe
	return home of our dear friend,
	Mantan.

								 127.


INT. CNS STUDIO

ON DUNWITTY

		DUNWITTY
	Help us and in addition you will
	get a guest-starring speaking role
	on the next Mantan - The New
	Millennium Minstrel Show, plus an
	added bonus: a lifetime of Da Bomb
	125% Malt Liquor.  Let's you get ya
	"freak on", as well as a full
	wardrobe of Timmi Hillnigger Active
	Git Toe Wear.  Mantan, may God
	bless you...

INT. X-FORCE HEADQUARTERS - DAY

Delacroix and Sloan hurry to stay with BARNETT, he's the
commander of the X-Force.

		BARNETT
	Let's go, time's wasting.

INT. X-FORCE WAR ROOM

They follow Barnett into the war room.

		BARNETT
	They sent the notice out on an
	anonymous remailer.

		SLOAN
	A what?

		BARNETT
	It's used to mask the origin of an
	email, also the computer from which
	it's sent.

		DELACROIX
	There oughta be a law...

		BARNETT
	Not yet, anyway, it's legal.  We
	will find the source where it's
	being broadcasted and hosted.
	We'll get the people that
	bushwhacked Mantan.

		SLOAN
	Before Manray is dead?

								 128.


		BARNETT
	I can't answer that.

ON CLOCK

It reads "6 HOURS 16 MINUTES."

MONTAGE

Police squads, SWAT Teams are busting into the wrong homes,
apartments, projects, hi-tech computer labs looking for the
Mau-Mau's.

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	SWAT teams all up and down the East
	Coast busted in on known dissidents
	looking for Manray.  All the tips
	called in, info gathered through
	surveillance proved for naught.

INT. X-FORCE WAR ROOM

		BARNETT
	The both of you should go home.  We
	will keep you abreast.

		SLOAN
	This is looking like a needle in a
	haystack.  It's hopeless.

Delacroix holds Sloan as he leads her out.  She is having
difficulty breathing with her asthma.

		DELACROIX
	Thank you for your help.

		BARNETT
	The X-Force always gets their man.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

He sits in front of his GIANT SCREEN, on the desk in front
of him is the 3/4 inch cassette Sloan gave him.  He picks it
up and turns it on.

		DELACROIX (V.O.)
	It was ten o'clock and the Dance of
	Death was about to commence.

								 129.


ON MONITOR

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	Since a lot of people still didn't
	have computers, the networks sought
	a court order to carry it live,
	taking the feed off the internet.
	It was granted.  A life snuff
	broadcast right into your living
	room.

ON DELACROIX

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	I had to give it to the Mau-Mau',
	they definitely had a sense of
	irony.  They chose www.nigger.com
	as the website to pirate.

INT. FACTORY - NIGHT

The Mau-Mau's ironically wear WHITE MASKS, they stand behind
the tied-up Mantan.  A device alters their voices.

		BIG BLACK
	We are LIVE on the cyberspace.
	Whereas Mantan is a TOM...

		BLACK BLACK
	Whereas Mantan is a disgrace...

		SMOOTH BLACK
	Whereas Mantan is a head-scratching,
	foot-shuffling Negro...

		1/16TH BLACK
	Whereas, whereas, where's the ass?

The Mau-Mau's laugh.

		BIG BLACK
	Whereas Mantan the dancing fool,
	you are condemned to death.

		JO BLACK
	The Dance of Death.

1/16th Black unties Manray.

MONTAGE

WE SEE DELACROIX, SLOAN, CHEEBA WITH LOURDESE, DUNWITTY,
JUNEBUG AND DOT, ORCHID, THE X-FORCE WATCHING THIS SPECTACLE
ON COMPUTERS OR TV SCREENS.

								 130.


ON COMPUTER SCREEN

We see a CARTOON, Yosemite Sam is shooting at the feet of
Bugs Bunny with his six-shooter in each hand.  Bugs Bunny is
doing a fast dance, dodging bullets.

ON MONITOR

The Mau-Mau's shoot at the feet of Manray.

		BIG BLACK
	Dance nigger.

Manray taps.

		SMOOTH BLACK
	You got anything to say for yourself?

		MANRAY
	If you're gonna kill me, kill me.

		SMOOTH BLACK
	Don't worry.

INT. SLOAN'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

She is having an asthma attack, it was brought on by the
proceedings.  Sloan uses her inhaler.

INT. FACTORY - NIGHT

Each Mau-Mau has a 9mm and is firing it at the feet of
Manray.  They scream "Faster!" and "Dance!" Manray is
hoofing.  He's never tapped this fast, at this breakneck
pace, ever.  But it's evident his dance is one of defiance.
He's not dancing to stay alive.

INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

He screams at the monitor.

		DELACROIX
	Don't dance.  Don't do it.

INT. FACTORY

The Mau-Mau's have noticed Manray's strong will, his pride
and they don't like it.  They shoot even more at his feet.

		BIG BLACK
	You ain't Blak.

		DOUBLE BLACK
	Blak you ain't.

								 131.


		SMOOTH BLACK
	You a Oreo.  Not Blak.  Not BLAK.

The Mau-Mau's start to chant, "Blak, blak, blak."

INT. SLOAN'S APARTMENT

She hears this and quickly picks up the phone to call the
authorities.

INT. FACTORY

		MANRAY
	There is nothing you can do to me.
	I'm wearing the taps of Bill
	"Bojangles" Robinson.

Manray is shot in one foot.  Then the other.

		BIG BLACK
	Let's seeya dance now, Mr. Bojangles.

Manray somehow manages to right himself and starts to dance
again.  The Mau-Mau's can't believe it.

ON MANRAY

He dances like his life depends on it.  Despite the fact his
feet are a bloody mess.

		BIG BLACK (CONT'D)
	You ain' BLAK.

He shoots Manray in the chest, the Mau-Mau's follow him and
he does a spastic last jig as the 9mm bullets riddle his
twitching body.

ON TV SCREEN

It goes black.

MONTAGE

Helicopters fly through the night sky.  Cop cars and trucks,
SWAT team vehicles are on the move.  SIRENS BLARE.

INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE

Delacroix's head is on his desk.  He has been crying.  On
cue the Black Collectibles start to move.  The Jolly Nigger
Bank, Aunt Jemima's, Mammies, etc., they are animated for
REAL.

								 132.


ON DELACROIX

His head pops up as he sees the objects.  He too is in
BLACKFACE.  In a rage, he starts to throw them against the
wall.

		DELACROIX
	Leave me alone.  Get away from me.
	You spearchucker.  You black sambo.
	You nigger pickaninny.  Fat Mammie.

Delacroix has finally lost it.  He looks at the shambles
he's made of his office.

EXT. FACTORY - CONTINUOUS

The Mau-Mau's come out of the factory high as a kite.  Each
has a big fat joint or a 64 oz. of DA BOMB.  They're also
doing a free-style rap about their execution.

ON CHEVY SUBURBAN

They get in when the squak of police walkie-talkie's clicks.

		BIG BLACK
	It's the man!

What follows is a horrifying display of firepower.  All the
Mau-Mau's bodies are doing the Bonnie and Clyde Sonny
Corleone Dance of Death as bullets tear into them and the
Suburban.  Not one of them is able to get a shot off.  The
shooting stops.  The twitching stops.  All's quiet.  1/16th
Black comes out with his hands up.

		1/16TH BLACK
	Don't shoot!  Don't shoot!  I've
	been held hostage.  They made me
	part of them against my own free
	will.  Don't shoot!

The cops quickly pounce on 1/16th Black.

		1/16TH BLACK (CONT'D)
	I'm WHITE.  I'm WHITE!  Look at me,
	I'm white!

INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE

Delacroix is on the floor when the doorknob turns.  It's
Sloan and she has a gun in one hand and her inhaler in the
other.  She's wheezing like mad.

		SLOAN
	Get up and put that tape in.

								 133.


She points the gun at his head.

		SLOAN (CONT'D)
	Do what I say.

Delacroix takes the cassette tape off his desk and puts it
in the 3/4 inch desk.

		SLOAN (CONT'D)
	Don't make me have to use this.

		DELACROIX
	I didn't think this was in your
	studies at NYU.

Delacroix hits the PLAY button.

ON SCREEN

IMAGES.  HISTORY.  VISUALS.  Sloan has put together a tape
of the worst, most racist, stereotypical images from cinema
and TV over the last 100 years.  With these images there's
also a laugh-track.

		SLOAN
	Watch this.  This is what you
	contributed to.  Because of you,
	Manray is dead.  Mu brother's dead.
	It's all because of you.

Delacroix can't watch the monitor.

		DELACROIX
	I'm sorry.  I didn't know anyone
	would get hurt.  I'm sorry, please
	give me that gun before you hurt
	yourself.  Give me the gun.

He reaches for it.  BOOM!  Sloan screams.

		SLOAN
	I told you but you wouldn't listen.
	You never listened to me.

		DELACROIX
	Give me the gun.

She reluctantly hands it to him.

		DELACROIX (CONT'D)
	Go, get out of here.  Go home.

Sloan runs out.  Delacroix slumps to the floor, WIPES HER
FINGERPRINTS off the revolver.

								 134.


ON DELACROIX

He looks at the monitor, the tape still playing.

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	As I bled to death, as my very
	precious life oozed out of me all I
	could think of was that I never
	made my father proud.  My mother
	didn't count.

ON SCREEN

We see STEP 'N FETCHIT, MANTAN MORELAND and WILLIE BEST.

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	Everything I did, no matter how
	great or small, was always
	extraordinary to her.  With Daddy
	it was a different ball game.  He
	never saw me.  Pierre Delacroix.

ON DELACROIX

A pool of blood has formed around his dying body.

		DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
	Now it was time to buy the farm,
	for me to meet my maker.  Goodbye
	cousins, and please tune in next
	week for the Best of Mantan - The
	New Millennium Minstrel Show.

ON SCREEN

We see MANTAN in BLACKFACE doing his BUCKDANCE

CLOSE ON DELACROIX

He looks at Mantan.

		DELACROIX (CONT'D)
	For the love of Joseph and Mary,
	what have I done?  My God, what
	have I done?!

Delacroix slumps over dead.

						CUT TO:

								 135.


ARCHIVAL FOOTAGE OF MALCOLM X

		MALCOLM X
	You've been had.  You've been took.
	You've been led astray.  Run amok.
	You've been bamboozled.

						FADE TO BLACK.

THE END.

END CREDITS.
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