Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

FADE IN:

EXT. RIDGEMONT CENTER MALL - NIGHT

From the outside parking lot it looks like an
enormous beached whale. It is the prime hangout for
all the teenagers in the area. Kids mill around the
parking lot or stand by the mall entrance.

INT. RIDGEMONT CENTER MALL

There are three levels of stores underneath a
massive fluorescent roof. Different music comes
from each store. It looks seventies-modern, but
already used and run-down. Groups of kids cruise
the mall, eyeing each other and acting cool.

INT. SWENSON'S ICE-CREAM PARLOR - NIGHT

The teenage waitresses in their peppermint pattie
uniforms are rushing around, trying to keep up with
their orders.

A good-looking man in his mid-twenties enters and
sits. He wears a plastic name tag that says:
"Pacific Stereo Audio Consultant, RON JOHNSON."

Two Swenson's Waitresses pass by with supreme
indifference, and take their orders into the back
kitchen.

INT. SWENSON'S BACK KITCHEN

		WAITRESS #1
	I think he looks like Richard Gere.

The two Waitresses discuss the issue at hand. One
of them, Linda Barrett, is the seventeen year old,
retired sex queen of Ridgemont High.

		WAITRESS #1 (CONT'D)
	I think he looks like... Richard
	Gere. (Bruce Springsteen)

		LINDA
	Did you see his cute little butt?

A third waitress enters.

		WAITRESS #2
	Let's talk about C-19.

		WAITRESS #1 AND LINDA
	We were!

		WAITRESS #2
	I think I'll drop over and change
	the shakers.

		LINDA
	No, be cool, that's Stacy's
	section.

Through the entrance, we see Stacy Hamilton. She is
the fifteen-year-old trainee, sweet-looking with
just the last traces of baby fat. She puts down a
glass of water for Ron, spills some and mops it up.

		WAITRESS #1
	He's too old for Stacy, she hasn't
	even started high school yet.

A flustered Stacy enters the back kitchen.

		LINDA
	How's it going.

		STACY
	Do you think that guy's cute?

		WAITRESS #1
	In a blow-dryed kind of way.

		STACY
	Does anyone else want to take his
	table?

		LINDA
	Don't you like him?

		STACY
	Yeah, but I fucked up. You can take
	it. Really.

		LINDA
	Come on, Stacy, it's your section
	and your man.

		STACY
	What should I do?

		LINDA
	Just take his order, look him in
	the eye and if he says anything
	remotely funny, laugh a lot.

She fluffs up Stacy's hair and gently shoves her
towards the door. Stacy reluctantly exits.

INT. SWENSON'S DINING ROOM

Stacy goes to Ron's table.

		RON
	So you working hard or hardly
	working?

Stacy thinks it over, decides it's a joke and
laughs (a little too late). Ron looks at her
soulfully.

		RON (CONT'D)
	You look like you could still be in
	high school.

		STACY
	I know, everyone says that.

He stares at her and she stares back uncomfortably.

		STACY (CONT'D)
	What can I get for you tonight.

		RON
	How about your phone number?

Stacy smiles nervously.

INT. RIDGEMONT MALL - OUTSIDE SWENSON'S - NIGHT

A teenage boy stands in front of an in-mall theatre
across from Swenson's. He wears a stiff over-sized
tuxedo suit. He is Mark "The Rat" Ratner, a ticket
taker on the job.

Mike Damone, a transplanted Easterner, bops over
from the record store, eyeing every girl he passes.
He stops at the movie theatre.

		THE RAT
	Do you ever look at those girls who
	work at Swenson's? They're
	beautiful. And I have to stand out
	here and watch them six nights a
	week.

		DAMONE
	You should work for yourself.

Two Junior High Kids spot Damone, walk up to him.

		DAMONE (CONT'D)
	What can I do for you, gentlemen?

		JUNIOR HIGH KID #1
	You the guy with the Van Halen
	tickets?

		DAMONE
	I could be.

		JUNIOR HIGH KID #2
	What do you want for something in
	the first ten rows?

		DAMONE
	Twenty bucks apiece.

		JUNIOR HIGH KID #1
	Those tickets were only twelve
	fifty!

		DAMONE
	So don't buy 'em.

		JUNIOR HIGH KID #2
		(to friend)
	All the other scalpers are sold
	out, Arnold.

Damone reacts indignantly.

		DAMONE
	Scalper? You call me a scalper? I
	perform a service, my friends. The
	service costs money. Now do you
	want the tickets or not?

The Kids look at each other.

		JUNIOR HIGH KID #1
	Are you sure you can't go any
	lower.

		DAMONE
	These are my special back-to-school
	prices.

		JUNIOR HIGH KID #2
	We'll take 'em.

Damone reaches inside his pants pocket for a wad of
tickets.

EXT. CARL'S JR. - NIGHT

At the other end of the mall is a neon-lit Carl's
Jr. Hamburger Restaurant. If Swenson's was the warm
up, this is the main attraction of the Ridgemont
Mall.

INT. CARL'S JR.

Back-to-school banners hang from the walls. Many
kids are lined up at the counters. In the middle of
the kitchen, directing all the orders, is a
seventeen year old named Brad. He moves
confidently, observing the fryer, checking cup
supply, and giving an affectionate squeeze to a
pretty cashier named Lisa. She lets him kiss her,
but only once.

A teenage Customer shouts to Brad from the front
counter.

		CUSTOMER
	Hey Brad! I waited till you came
	on! I wanted your fries.

Brad smiles, walks over to the fryer and discards
the fries left from the previous shift. He shouts
to the other employees as he puts in a new batch,
"his" batch.

		BRAD
	We need fifteen Superstars, David!

		FELLOW EMPLOYEE #1
	Okay, Brad!

		BRAD
	I'll take care of the fry orders!
	Just get me the Superstars!

		FELLOW EMPLOYEE #2
	Fish sandwiches!

Brad spots three surfers sitting in the dining
area. None of them are wearing shirts.

		BRAD
	Hey you guys! You had shirts on
	when you came in here.

ANGLE ON THE MAIN SURFER

a bleary kid sitting at the head of the table. He
runs a hand through his long, stringy blond hair.
After a time, he speaks.

		SPICOLI
	Something happened to them, mon.

		BRAD
	Come on, Spicoli. Why don't you
	just put your shirts back on? See
	the sign?

ANGLE ON HANDWRITTEN SIGN IN WINDOW

that reads: "No Shirts, No Shoes, No Dice"

INT. CARL'S JR.

A store manager, Dennis Taylor, bustles up to Brad.

		DENNIS
	Any problems?

		BRAD
	No, just a couple of surfers with
	no shirts on. I took care of it,
	Dennis.

ANGLE ON SURFERS

grumbling, putting shirts back on. It pains them.

Dennis heads back to his office when he sees
something in the trash bin.

		DENNIS
	Did you throw away those fries,
	Hamilton?

		BRAD
	They were left over from the last
	shift.

		DENNIS
	Those were perfectly good fries,
	Hamilton.
		(glares at Brad)
	Perfectly good.

		BRAD
	But they weren't mine.

Brad laughs, goes back to work.

INT. MALL - LATE NIGHT

It is closed and only a few janitors remain. Stacy
and Linda walk through the large empty mall.

		STACY
	He gave me his card.
		(lovingly)
	'Ron Johnson, Audio Consultant.'

		LINDA
		(amused)
	Should we buy a frame for that?

		STACY
	Come on, Linda, I haven't had a
	boyfriend all summer. You promised
	when I started working at the mall
	that my life would change... Do you
	think he'll call this week?

		LINDA
	Listen, Stace, you want to know
	about guys? I'll tell you. They're
	mostly chicken. Before I met Doug I
	chased after every guy I thought
	was cute. I thought if I gave out a
	vibe they'd get the message and
	call me up. Well, guess what? They
	don't call.

		STACY
	So what did you do?

		LINDA
	I called them. If I was sitting
	next to a guy and I wanted to sit
	closer, I'd sit closer. If I wanted
	to kiss him, I'd just do it. You
	want Ron Johnson? Grab him.

		STACY
	I can't do that.

They pass a janitor cleaning graffiti that says:
LINCOLN SURF NAZIS and MAGGOT LUST FOR THE DUST.

		LINDA
	Face it. With some guys you have to
	make the first move. A lot of guys
	are just... wussies.

		STACY
	Really?

		LINDA
	Stacy, what are you waiting for?
	You're fifteen. I did it when I was
	thirteen. It's no huge thing. It's
	just sex. If you don't, one of the
	other girls will.

		STACY
		(cute)
	He was hot, wasn't he?

		LINDA
	If I didn't have a fiance in
	Chicago, I'd go for it.

A young Girl runs and catches up with Linda and
Stacy.

		GIRL
		(breathless)
	Are you Linda Barrett?

		LINDA
	Yes.

		GIRL
	I'm Carrie Frazier from Toys 'R Us.
	Judy Hinton from May Company told
	me I could ask you something.

Linda nods.

		GIRL (CONT'D)
	I have this situation with my
	boyfriend, and I wanted to...
		(looks at Stacy, then
		whispers in Linda's ear)

Linda listens thoughtfully, then clicks into her
"sex expert" mode.

		LINDA
	Okay, are you over sixteen?

The Girl nods.

		LINDA (CONT'D)
	All right, what you want to do is
	go to the Free Clinic and tell the
	doctor that you have sex regularly
	- several times a week -- and that
	you need Nornel One Plus Fifty's.

		GIRL
	And they don't call my parents?

		LINDA
	Not if you're over sixteen.

		GIRL
	Okay. Thanks a lot, Linda.

		LINDA
	And don't let them talk you into a
	diaphragm either.

The Girl thanks Linda again. Linda and Stacy get to
the back exit of the mall and Linda uses a key to
open the door.

		STACY
	I can't believe I start high school
	tomorrow.

		LINDA
	Believe it.

They exit the mall, into the night.

EXT. RIDGEMONT SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL - DAY

We see all the elements of the first day of school.
The students carry new books, explore new lockers,
begin to stake out their ground.

Someone has taken the steel letters from the green
vanguard out front. It reads: "IDG MON SENOR HI
HO."

The rest of Ridgemont High is covered with toilet
paper. And a black spray paint message along the
side of the front office building reads, "LINCOLN
SURF NAZIS."

EXT. RIDGEMONT PARKING LOT - DAY

Brad pulls into the Ridgemont High parking lot. He
drives a beat-up, four-door model LTD sedan. Three
friends wait for him near his parking space.
They are dressed in the same golf caps with brand
logos on the front like CAT, NATIONAL and CHAINSAW.

		BUDDY #1
	Hamilton!

		BUDDY #2
	The cruising vessel! Hey -- Yooooo!

Brad climbs out of his car and pats it admiringly.

		BRAD
	Six more payments, gentlemen.

Brad joins his friends, and they walk towards the
gymnasium.

EXT. RIDGEMONT PARKING LOT

We see a shiny, new, blue Mustang whip into the
parking lot. Students scatter from the parking
space. Behind the wheel is football star Charles
Jefferson. A huge, black kid. The halls at
Ridgemont part for Charles Jefferson.

Rat and Damone are in the parking lot. Damone
surrounded by underclassmen (customers) selling
tickets.

		DAMONE
	See that Mustang? U.C.L.A. gave
	Charles Jefferson that car when he
	was a sophomore.

The underclassmen are impressed. They watch as
Jefferson opens his car door and stands to his full
height, over six-foot tall. He opens his trunk and
pulls out no books, just a football duffel bag. He
slowly walks by Damone, Rat and the underclassmen.

		DAMONE (CONT'D)
	How ya doing! That car looks great,
	Charles!

Jefferson gives Damone a death glare.

		JEFFERSON
	Don't... fuck... with... it.

He moves on. Damone resumes selling tickets.

		DAMONE
	Shit, that's my man.

EXT. RIDGEMONT PARKING LOT

We see a clutching, smooching couple walk by.
Cheerleader Cindy Carr and her boyfriend, Gregg
Adams.

EXT. RIDGEMONT PARKING LOT - DAY

The Four Stoners (from Carl's Jr.) tumble out of a
van in the parking lot. They head towards the
gymnasium.

INT. RIDGEMONT GYMNASIUM - DAY

Standing by the A-B-C-D-E registration counter in
the gymnasium, Brad waits to pick up his red ad
card. He stands surrounded by his buddies. They nod
vigorously at everything Brad says. As he talks,
fellow students all say hello or pat him as they
pass.

One troubled-looking boy, Arnold, walks up to Brad.

		ARNOLD
	Brad, can I talk to you a minute?

		BRAD
	Arnold. What's happening?

Arnold speaks confidentially to Brad.

		ARNOLD
	Brad, I really fuckin' hate
	McDonald's, man. Ever since they
	started in with the chicken,
	everything went downhill.

		BRAD
	You want to work at Carl's?

		ARNOLD
	Oh, man, if you could swing
	something there, I'd do anything
	for you. I want to work with you
	guys.

		BRAD
	I can probably get you in there.
	Just let me talk to Dennis Taylor.

		ARNOLD
	All right!!

Brad notices Stacy and nods with complete inner
cool.

		STACY
	Hi, Brad.

		BRAD
	Sis.

		BRAD'S BUDDIES
	Hey, Stacy.

		STACY
	Hi... Where's Lisa?

		BRAD
	Everyone wants to know where Lisa
	is. How should I know where Lisa
	is?
		(to buddies)
	What am I gonna do? Now my little
	sister goes to the same high
	school. The party's over.
		(to Stacy)
	So who do you have first period?

		STACY
	U.S. History. Mr. Hand.

		BRAD
	Hey-yo.

		DAVID
	Hey-yoooooooooo.

		STACY
		(concerned)
	What's wrong with Mr. Hand?

		BRAD
	Nothing... if you like 'Hawaii Five
	O.' You better get in class, Stacy.
	That's not the one to be late to.

Stacy hurries off.

		RICH
		(as soon as she is gone)
	Your sister is really turning into
	a fox.

		BRAD
	You should see her in the morning.

		BRAD'S BUDDIES
	Hey-yooooooooooo.

INT. U.S. HISTORY CLASS - DAY

Stacy barely slips in the door before the final
attendance bell sounds. She finds a seat just as
the teacher's cubicle door opens at the back of the
classroom. A tall figure comes barreling down the
aisle. He is Mr. Hand. The man makes a double-speed
step to the door at the front of the class, kicks
the door shut and locks it. The windows rattle in
their frames. Stacy watches, wide-eyed, at her
first high school class.

		MR. HAND
	Aloha. My name is Mr. Hand.

Mr. Hand writes his name on the green chalkboard
before his class. Every letter is a small explosion
of chalk.

		MR. HAND (CONT'D)
		(almost sweetly)
	I have but one question for you on
	our first morning 'together.'
		(pause)
	Can you attend my class? Pakalo?...
	Understand?... History has proven
	us one basic fact. Man does not do
	anything that is not for his own
	good. It is for your own good that
	you attend my class. And if you
	can't make it... I can make you.

An impatient knock begins at the front door of the
classroom.

		MR. HAND (CONT'D)
	We have a twenty-question quiz
	every Friday. It will cover all the
	material we've dealt with during
	the week. There will be no make-up
	exams. It's important that you all
	have your Land of Truth and Liberty
	textbooks by Wednesday. At the
	latest.

The knock continues.

		MR. HAND (CONT'D)
	Your grade is the average of all
	your quizzes, plus the midterm and
	final, which counts for one-third.
	Got it?

The mystery knocker tries a lazy calypso beat on
the front door. No one in Mr. Hand's U.S. History
class dares mention it, much less answer it.

Stacy grips her desk with the tension of her first
day.

		MR. HAND (CONT'D)
	Also. There will be no eating in
	this class. You get used to doing
	your own business on your own time.
	That's one demand I make. I don't
	like staying after class with you
	on detention. That's my time. I
	don't like wasting it. Just like
	you wouldn't want me to come to
	your house some evening and discuss
	U.S. History on your time. Pakalo?

Hand finally turns, as if he has just noticed the
sound at the door and opens the door an inch.
Jeffrey Spicoli stands in the doorway, red eyes
glistening. His long, blond hair is still wet and
streaming down the back of his white peasant shirt.
He grins, oblivious to such trivial matters as
attendance bells. A Student sitting near Stacy
turns to his friends.

		STUDENT
	That guy has been stoned since the
	third grade.

		MR. HAND
	Yes?

		SPICOLI
	Yeah. I'm registered for this
	class.

		MR. HAND
	What class?

		SPICOLI
	This is U.S. History, right? I saw
	the globe in the window.

		MR. HAND
		(appears enthralled)
	Really?

Spicoli holds his red ad card up to the crack in
the door.

		SPICOLI
	Can I come in?

		MR. HAND
		(swinging door open)
	Oh, please. I get so lonely when
	that third attendance bell rings
	and I don't see all my kids here.

Spicoli laughs. He is the only one.

		SPICOLI
	Sorry I'm late. This new schedule
	is totally confusing.

Mr. Hand takes the red ad card and reads from it
with utter fascination.

		MR. HAND
	Mr. Spicoli?

		SPICOLI
	That's the name they gave me.

Mr. Hand slowly tears the card into little pieces
and sprinkles the pieces over his wastebasket.
Spicoli watches in disbelief. His hands are frozen
in the process of removing his backpack.

		SPICOLI (CONT'D)
	You just ripped my card in two!

		MR. HAND
	Yes.

		SPICOLI
	Hey, bud. What's your problem?

Mr. Hand moves to within inches of Spicoli's face.

		MR. HAND
	No problem at all. I think you know
	where the front office is.

It takes a moment for the words to work their way
out of Jeff Spicoli's mouth.

		SPICOLI
	You... dick.

In the tense moment that follows, no one in the
class is sure what might happen.

Mr. Hand simply turns away from Jeff Spicoli as if
he ceased to exist and coolly continues his
lecture.

		MR. HAND
	I've taken the time to print up a
	complete schedule of class quizzes,
	and the chapters they cover. Please
	pass them back to the desks behind
	you...

Hand begins passing out stacks of purple
mimeographed sheets.

ANGLE ON STUDENTS

all smelling the purple mimeographed sheets.

Still standing in the doorway, hyperventilating
with fifteen-year-old adrenalin, is Jeff Spicoli.
After a time, he fishes a few bits of his ad card
out of the wastebasket and huffs out of the room.

EXT. RIDGEMONT LUNCH COURT - AFTERNOON

It's packed. The school's outdoor dining area is
actually just a small courtyard lined with fast
food machines and dominated by a large oak tree in
the center. Standing at the center of lunch court,
under the large oak tree, is Brad Hamilton and his
golf-cap Buddies.

		BRAD
	You hear about the surfer in Mr.
	Hand's class?

His Buddies shake their heads.

		BRAD (CONT'D)
	Told Hand to fuck off.

		BRAD'S BUDDIES
	Whoa!_

Brad sees another friend pass through lunch court.

		BRAD
	Thompson!

Brad waits for him to pass.

		BRAD (CONT'D)
	I hear Thompson got canned at Bob's
	this summer.

		BUDDY #1
	Yeah. They hacked his hours, so he
	quit.

		BRAD
	Where is he now?

		BUDDY #1
	Making two eighty at Seven-Eleven.

		BRAD
	Man.
		(pause)
	They make you wear a fuckin' candy
	stripe suit over there.

		BUDDY #2
	Poor guy.

		BRAD
	Poor guy.

EXT. LUNCH COURT - ANGLE ON THE 200 BUILDING
BATHROOM

near the outer rim of lunch court. Jeff Spicoli
comes stumbling out into the daylight, surrounded
by a small group of Ridgemont Stoners. Marijuana
smoke billows out behind them.

		STONER BUDDY #1
	It was so bitchin', mon. Everybody
	is talking about it.

		STONER BUDDY #2
	Totally.

		SPICOLI
	The motherfucker pissed me off.

		STONER BUDDY #2
	Totally. You don't have to take
	that shit.

		SPICOLI
	I didn't take that shit.

They all laugh, flip hair out of their eyes.

		STONER BUDDY #1
	Tell us again. What happened after
	he ripped up your ad card?

		SPICOLI
	I called him a dick. And then I
	reached for his class notes, and I
	ripped 'em up. I said, 'Hey bud.
	Two can play this game.'

The Stoners go wild.

		SPICOLI (CONT'D)
	I'll tell you this. If he hassles
	me again, I can't be responsible
	for what happens... you know why?

		STONER BUDDY #1
	Because he's a fuckin' dick!

		SPICOLI
	You got it.
		(pause)
	Gimme a dollar.

One surfer digs out a dollar for Spicoli. They look
out at lunch court, see it teeming with straight
kids. They turn and walk towards the parking lot.

EXT. LUNCH COURT - ANGLE ON STACY AND LINDA

as they walk onto lunch court. They take a seat on
the outskirts of the area and watch all the
students crowding onto the eating area.

		LINDA
	I hear some surfer pulled a knife
	on Mr. Hand this morning.

		STACY
	No way! He just called him a dick.

		LINDA
	God. People exaggerate so much at
	this school.

The school couple, Cindy and Gregg walk by.

		CINDY
	Hi, Linda. God, you look so great.

		LINDA
	Hi, you guys. This is Stacy. Stacy,
	this is Gregg Adams and Cindy Carr.

		GREGG AND CINDY
	Hi, Stacy.

Stacy smiles. Gregg and Cindy move on, repeating
the same scene a few feet away.

		LINDA
	If there's one thing that never
	changes... it's a cheerleader.

Stacy turns to see a girl with short, black hair
passing by, wearing tight black spandex pants, and
dark lipstick.

		STACY
	Linda. That girl looks just like
	Pat Benatar.

		LINDA
	I know.

They watch her pass.

		LINDA (CONT'D)
	Actually, there are three girls at
	Ridgemont who have cultivated the
	Pat Benatar look.

Linda gestures out on lunch court.

ANGLE ON ANOTHER PAT BENATAR LOOK-ALIKE

wearing pink spandex pants and short-cropped black
hair with dark lipstick.

ANGLE ON STILL ANOTHER PAT BENATAR LOOK-ALIKE

wearing blue spandex pants and short black hair.
She stands a good distance away from the other two.

		LINDA (CONT'D)
	None of them talk to each other.

Linda looks at them with bemusement but Stacy is
wondering.

		STACY
	Do you think guys find that
	attractive?

		LINDA
	Oh, give me a break, Stacy. You're
	much prettier than them.

They sit and eat their lunches. Linda has her
perennial diet lunch of yogurt and raw vegetables.

		STACY
	Yeah but they look more
	sophisticated. You'd probably think
	they'd be better in bed.

		LINDA
	What do you mean 'better in bed.'
	You either do it or you don't.

		STACY
	No there are variables that, like,
	I might not be good at.

		LINDA
	What variables?

		STACY
		(shyly)
	Like, you know, giving blow jobs.

		LINDA
	What's the big deal?

		STACY
	Well I never did it.

		LINDA
	There's nothing to it.

She takes out a carrot stick and eases it down her
throat. Stacv tries one but chokes.

		LINDA (CONT'D)
	You just have to practice a little
	first.
		(feels her throat)
	Relax these muscles. Think of your
	throat as an open tunnel.

The girls try sliding the carrot sticks down their
throats without gagging.

ANGLE ON A BOY

at the next table; sees them and points them out to
his companions.

		STACY
	What happens... don't laugh at me,
	but when a guy has an orgasm... you
	know, like, how much comes out.

Stacy stops practicing and looks horrified. Linda
laughs.

		LINDA
	Just kidding. About 10cc.

		STACY
		(enlightened)
	Oh! That's where that group got its
	name from.

They continue practicing as the boys look on. Stacy
manages to get almost a whole carrot down her
throat to Linda's amazement.

The group of boys break out in applause.

Stacy looks very embarrassed.

INT. BIOLOGY LAB - DAY

The class is situated so that all students sit at
Bunson burner tables lining the room.

Pat is seated at one of the tables and Stacy takes
a seat nearby; she looks at the ledge in front of
her. It contains a pig embryo. She listens to the
conversation next to her.

		GIRL STUDENT
	I'll tell you right now. I'm not
	going. I'll get sick or something.
	I'm not going into a room with a
	bunch of dead guys.

		ARNOLD
	You'll go. It's part of the final.

		GIRL STUDENT
		(a Pat Benatar)
	Have you heard what they do? I'm
	serious. Have you heard?

		BOY STUDENT
	What?

		ARNOLD
	The bodies are dissected, Mike, and
	Mr. Vargas pulls out parts of the
	dead body and holds them up. Okay?

		BOY STUDENT
	You mean he reaches in and pulls
	this stuff out?

		GIRL STUDENT
	Yes.

		BOY STUDENT
	Like a heart?

		GIRL STUDENT
	Hearts, lungs, guts...

Stacy strains to hear more, just as Mr. Vargas -- a
diminutive man holding a coffee mug -- enters the
class.

		MR. VARGAS
	Good day, everyone! I just switched
	to Sanka. I'm running a little slow
	today, so have a heart.

ANGLE ON THE RAT

He is riveted on Stacy Hamilton, swooning.

						DISSOLVE
						TO:

INT. STACY'S ROOM - NIGHT

We see Stacy's room, a young girl's room with
posters and frilly pillows. Stacy is in bed, and
her Mother is just leaving the room.

		MOTHER
	Sleep tight, Stacy.

		STACY
	Good night, Mom.

Her Mother shuts off the light, exits. Stacy pulls
back the covers. She is fully dressed.

EXT. STACY'S WINDOW - NIGHT

We see the window to Stacy's room slide slowly
open, and watch her slip outside. She hikes down a
drainage pipe to the street.

EXT. STREET CORNER - NIGHT

A brown MG pulls up. Stacy jumps from the shadows
and hops in. The car drives away.

INT. RON'S CAR - NIGHT

Ron sits behind the wheel, humming casually along
to the music on his car stereo.

Ron has on a light-brown leather jacket. He looks
like a contestant for "The Dating Game."

		STACY
		(a little nervous)
	Thanks for picking me up.

		RON
	No problem.

He speeds off, turning up the radio to sing along.

		RON (CONT'D)
	'The Cuer-vo Gold, the fi-ine
	Columbian.'
		(eyes Stacy)
	You look nice tonight.

		STACY
	Thanks. So do you.

		RON
	Where do you feel like going?

		STACY
	I don't know. Wherever you want.

		RON
	How about the point?

		STACY
		(nervously)
	The point sounds fine.

		RON
		(looks at her knowingly)
	All right, the point it is.

We see Stacy's anxious face, as the car speeds up
Ridgemont Drive, with music.

EXT. THE POINT - NIGHT

Stacy and Ron sit in the car, listening to music.
The "point" is a natural lookout spot that lovers
can "discover." It is behind the baseball field and
dugout of Ridgemont High School.

Stacy and Ron get out of the car and walk to the
baseball dugout.

INT. DUGOUT - NIGHT

They sit side-by-side. Above them, a single light
bulb shines a very private fifty watts on things.

		STACY
	That's a nice shirt.

		RON
	Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Silence. They look at each other, look away.

		RON (CONT'D)
	It's very warm out tonight.

		STACY
	It is. It's very warm. I wonder how
	long it will last?

Ron leans over and kisses Stacy lightly on the
cheek. Stacy sits quietly for a moment, thinking,
was that the first move? Then she lunges at Ron and
kisses him square on the mouth. At first surprised,
Ron then holds her there and kisses her in return.
After a time, he breaks away.

		RON
	Are you really nineteen?

		STACY
	Yes... I am really nineteen.

They continue making out.

		RON
	I think I better take you home.

		STACY
	What about those other guys you
	live with?

		RON
	No. I mean back to your home.

But they make no moves in any direction. They
continue making out. Ron begins unbuttoning her
blouse and massaging Stacy's breasts. A moment
later, he tugs at her pants. Awkwardly, she starts
to help him. He tilts her backward onto the
concrete dugout bench. They kiss feverishly, her
hand pulling off her shoes, then her pants. Ron
goes to work.

		RON (CONT'D)
		(whispers)
	Is this your first time?

		STACY
	Yes.

STACY'S POINT OF VIEW

as she feels a man enter her for the first time, we
see the graffiti above her:
					Surf Nazis
					Lincoln was here --  Sieg Heil
					Led Zeppelin
					Dan y Roberto (Disco Fags)

						DISSOLVE
						TO:

EXT. SCHOOL LOCKERS - DAY

Stacy is standing by her locker, twirling the
combination. She is joined by Linda Barrett.

		LINDA
	Was it great?

		STACY
	It was okay.

		I LINDA
	You'll always remember your first
	time.

		STACY
	It was nice.

		LINDA
	So tell me, do you like Ron? Is it
	serious?

		STACY
	Come on, Linda. It's just sex.

		LINDA
	Hey! That's my line!

They both laugh and walk down the hall.

EXT. HAMILTON HOME - LATE AFTERNOON

Stacy arrives home. The Hamilton home has that
anonymous prepackaged tract look, like many others
in this lower-middle class neighborhood.

Brad washes his car in the driveway and listens to
the car radio.

		BRAD
	Mom says to clean up the pool.

		STACY
	Why can't you do it?

		BRAD
	Your friends use the pool. Your
	friends messed it up.

		STACY
	Your friends use the pool too.

		BRAD
	I take out the garbage.

		STACY
	Don't strain yourself.

Stacy bristles, and heads inside the front door.

INT. HAMILTON LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON

The furniture in the Hamilton living room looks
like it was gleaned for a sale at Pic 'N Save.
Through the living room, one can see a very small,
kidney-shaped pool.

Stacy checks an erasable telephone message sheet
near the refrigerator. There are two names on it:
BRAD/STACY. Brad's side is filled with messages.
Stacy's is empty.

She notices a summer bouquet floral arrangement.
Stacy reads the attached note. It reads: "Memories
of You, Ron Johnson." She quickly gathers it up and
carries it back outside. She fans the door several
times to dispel the odor.

EXT. HAMILTON DRIVEWAY - AFTERNOON

		STACY
	Brad! Have Mom or Dad seen this?

		BRAD
	They're not home yet.

		STACY
	Brad, what would you say if I asked
	you to just put these flowers in
	the trunk of the Cruising Vessel
	and get rid of them at work?

		BRAD
	I'd say... who the hell is Ron
	Johnson?

		STACY
	I'll explain everything later.

Brad nods, as Stacy pushes the flowers into his
arms.

INT. DAMONE'S ROOM - AFTERNOON

Damone expertly fills two glasses three-quarters
full of Kahlua, then adds a few drops of milk.
Music is playing on a nearby speaker. Damone hands
The Rat a drink and checks himself out in his
mirror.

		DAMONE
	See that moustache coming in, Rat?

There is only a hint of peach fuzz, but he grooms
it anyway.

		DAMONE (CONT'D)
	See? You can almost press it out.

Damone turns around. His friend is preoccupied.

		THE RAT
	I am in love.

Damone takes a sip of his drink, looks at The Rat.

		DAMONE
	You... are a wuss. Part wimp. Part
	pussy.

		THE RAT
	What do you mean -- wuss? This girl
	is my exact type. It's her.
	Definitely her.

		DAMONE
		(distracted)
	It's definitely your mama.

		THE RAT
	Damone, you gotta listen to me.

Damone quits puttering around his room with the
Kahlua and milk. He grabs a chair and straddles it.

		DAMONE
	All right... where did you see her?

		THE RAT
	She's in my biology class.

		DAMONE
	Did you get her number?

		THE RAT
	No.

		DAMONE
	Did you get her name?

		THE RAT
	No. It's too soon.

		DAMONE
	It's never too soon! Girls decide
	how far to let you go in the first
	five minutes.

		THE RAT
	Well, what do you want me to do? Go
	up to this strange girl in my
	biology class and say, 'Hello! I'd
	like you to take your clothes off
	and jump on me?'

		DAMONE
		(thoughtfully)
	I would. Yeah.

		THE RAT
	Really?

		DAMONE
	I can see it all now. This is going
	to be just like the girl you fell
	in love with at Fotomat this
	summer. You bought forty bucks of
	fuckin' film and you never even
	talked to her.

		THE RAT
		(woeful)
	You tell me, Mike. What do I do?

		DAMONE
	Okay. Okay.
		(sighs, but loves it)
	Here's what you do.

Damone gets up, moves to the door.

		DAMONE (CONT'D)
	You start from the second you walk
	into biology. Don't just walk...
	move across the room.

He saunters over to the chair.

		DAMONE (CONT'D)
	Don't talk to her. Let her know.
	Use your face. Use your body. Use
	everything. This is what I do. I
	just sent out the vibe and I have
	personally found that... girls do
	respond. Something happens.

		THE RAT
	Of course something happens. You
	put the vibe out to thirty million
	chicks, you know something's gonna
	happen.

		DAMONE
	That's the idea, Rat. That's The
	Attitude.

		THE RAT
	The Attitude? The Attitude dictates
	that you don't care if she comes,
	stays, lays or prays. Whatever
	happens, your toes are still
	tappin'.
	When you are the cruelest and the
	coolest... then you have The
	Attitude.

Damone knocks down the rest of his drink, and we...

						DISSOLVE
						TO:

INT. CARL'S JR. KITCHEN - NIGHT

We see Brad operating at full throttle in the
kitchen, and taking a moment to sneak a kiss with
his girlfriend Lisa as she goes to the front
counter to open up a cash register. She allows him
only one kiss.

		LISA
	Were those flowers really for me,
	Brad?

		BRAD
	Of course.

		LISA
	How much did they cost?

		BRAD
	Don't worry about it.

She gives him a kiss... on the cheek.

		BRAD (CONT'D)
	Let's go to the Point tonight.

She pulls away.

		LISA
	What's there to do at the Point?

Brad shifts his weight, tries to find the right
words.

		BRAD
	What's there to do at the Point?
	God, Lisa, we've been going
	together almost two years, and...

		LISA
	Brad. I don't want to have to use
	sex as a tool.

		BRAD
	Tool? Tool for what? We've been
	going together almost two years!

		LISA
	I don't want to talk about it here,
	Brad.

Brad prepares to respond. He squints his eyes,
prepares for a truly sizzling comeback, when Dennis
Taylor, short and prematurely balding assistant
manager of Carl's Jr., comes bustling out of his
back office. He quickly surveys the situation in
the kitchen.

		TAYLOR
	Hamilton! You have fifteen double
	cheese to box!

Lisa returns to her cashier post, leaving Brad's
last words stalled in his mouth.

EXT. HAMILTON HOUSE - LATER THAT NIGHT

We see the Hamilton's cul-de-sac home. All the
lights are off in the house at this hour. Except
for Brad's room.

INT. BRAD'S ROOM

Brad is alone in his room. He's prone on his neatly
made bed, reading a paperback book entitled Power
With Class. On the wall of Brad's room is a large
framed photo of a Carl's Jr. hamburger.

Brad hears a muffled knock at his door.

		BRAD
	Come on in.

Stacy walks into Brad's room.

		STACY
	Thanks for getting rid of those
	flowers.

		BRAD
	Don't worry about it. Who sent the
	flowers?

		STACY
	It's just some guy I met at
	Swenson's. You don't know him.

		BRAD
	I don't care it you tell me or not.
	I got problems of my own.

He begins pacing.

		STACY
	Is everything okay at work?

		BRAD
	Are you kidding? Work is great. I
	kill at work. I don't even mind Mom
	and Dad making me pay rent.

		STACY
	You're going to break up with Lisa,
	aren't you?

		BRAD
	I've been doing some thinking. It's
	my last school year. I'm a single,
	successful guy. I think I want my
	freedom.

		STACY
	Why? Because she won't sleep with
	you?

		BRAD
	Where did you hear that?

		STACY
	I'm just guessing.

		BRAD
	Well... it's true.

		STACY
	Maybe you just need to give her
	some time. She's so nice, Brad.
	Everybody loves Lisa.

		BRAD
	Everybody loves Lisa. Everybody
	loves Lisa. But everybody doesn't
	have to be her boyfriend.

Suddenly, Stacy pops the question.

		STACY
	Hey, Brad. Are you still a virgin?

		BRAD
	Why?

		STACY
	I don't know. I was just curious.

		BRAD
	Maybe yes. Maybe no.

		STACY
	You are a virgin!

		BRAD
	I didn't say that.

		STACY
	But your face did!

They laugh. Then Brad turns serious.

		BRAD
	Are you still a virgin?

		STACY
	Maybe yes. Maybe no.

		BRAD
	Don't give me that shit! I know
	you're still a virgin!

Stacy smiles and stands up. She playfully slaps her
brother on the arm and walks down the hallway to
her room. We can see there is less frill and lace
in Stacy's room. The junior high paperbacks are
gone. There are no dolls in sight.

EXT. MALL PARKING LOT - NIGHT

Linda and Stacy walk past rows of cars. Stacy stops
at a brown MG.

		STACY
	There... There's his car. I know
	he's at work tonight. He hasn't
	come into Swenson's since he called
	my house. My mother told him I was
	still at high school, after I told
	him I was nineteen. I guess I
	should tell him I'm fifteen.

		LINDA
	Don't you dare, you'll never hear
	from him again.

		STACY
	Does Doug care that you're
	seventeen?

		LINDA
	Doug sees beyond that stuff to what
	the person inside is like. That's
	why I'm marrying him.

		STACY
	If he ever calls again I'll say I'm
	eighteen.

		LINDA
	Boy I am so glad to be through with
	all these games.

They enter the mall.

INT. U.S. HISTORY CLASS - MORNING

We are now several weeks into the school year. Mr.
Hand is dropping test papers on desks like they are
pieces of manure.

		MR. HAND
	C... D... F... F... F... three
	weeks we've been talking about the
	Platt Amendment. What are you
	people? On dope? A piece of
	legislation was introduced into
	Congress by Senator John Platt. It
	was passed in 1906. This amendment
	to our Constitution has a profound
	impact upon all of our daily
	liv....

Mr. Hand stops on a dime. He is like a champion
hunting dog that has just picked up the scent. He
scans the room.

		MR. HAND (CONT'D)
	Where is Jeff Spicoli?

There is silence in the U.S. history classroom.

		MR. HAND (CONT'D)
	I saw him earlier today near the
	200 Building bathrooms. Is he still
	on campus?

Silence.

		MR. HAND (CONT'D)
	Anyone?

One student sitting next to Stacy raises his hand.

		MR. HAND (CONT'D)
	Yes, Desmond?

		DESMOND
	I saw him by the food machines.

		MR. HAND
	How long ago?

		DESMOND
	Just before class, sir...

Mr. Hand snaps his fingers, Hawaii Five-O style.

		MR. HAND
	Okay. Bring him in.

Desmond hustles out the door.

		MR. HAND (CONT'D)
	What is this fascination with
	truancy? What is it that gets
	inside your heads?

Mr. Hand begins to pace the aisles as he speaks.
Occasionally, for emphasis, he bends down to
lecture directly into the students' faces.

		MR. HAND (CONT'D)
	There are other teachers in this
	school who look the other way at
	truants.
		(points to attendance clip
		on the doorway)
	It's a little game that you both
	play. They pretend they don't see
	you, you pretend you don't ditch.
	Who pays the price later? You.

Desmond returns to the room with a red-eyed Jeff
Spicoli.

		SPICOLI
	Hey! Wait a minute! There's no
	birthday party for me here!

		MR. HAND
	Thank you, Desmond.
		(to Spicoli)
	What's the reason for your truancy?

		SPICOLI
	I couldn't make it in time.

		MR. HAND
		(in top form)
	You mean, you couldn't? Or you
	wouldn't?

		SPICOLI
	I don't know, mon. The food lines
	took forever.

		MR. HAND
	Food will be eaten on your time!
		(pause)
	Why are you continuously late for
	this class, Mr. Spicoli? Why do you
	shamelessly waste my time like
	this?

		SPICOLI
	I don't know.

Mr. Hand appears mesmerized. He then turns and
heads for the board. He writes in long, large
letters as he slams the chalk into the green board.
He writes: "I DON'T KNOW".

		MR. HAND
	I like that.

He stands back and admires it. He turns randomly to
Stacy.

		MR. HAND (CONT'D)
	Don't you like that, Miss Hamilton?

		STACY
	Yes, sir.

		MR. HAND
	I really like that too. 'I don't
	know'... that's nice. 'Mr. Hand,
	will I pass this class?' 'Gee, Mr.
	Spicoli, I don't know'. I like
	that.
	I think I'm going to leave your
	words on this board for all my
	classes to enjoy. Giving you full
	credit, of course, Mr. Spicoli.

We hear the blare of the dismissal bell. Stacy and
the other students get up to leave. Spicoli stays
in place. He has just figured out a truly bitchin'
comeback... and his mouth is forming the first
word, when Mr. Hand cuts him off.

		MR. HAND (CONT'D)
	You can go now.

Hand turns back to his desk. The rest of the
students have already left. Spicoli's audience is
gone. He shrugs and lopes out the door.

INT. RIDGEMONT MALL - AFTERNOON

It's Christmas time at the Ridgemont Mall. All
three tiers are strung with neon lights, and we
hear the sound of the bell-ringing Santas.

INT. SWENSON'S - AFTERNOON

Stacy and Linda are enjoying a brief lull in the
Christmas season madness. They sit at the sundae
bar. Stacy looks forlorn, almost red-eyed, as she
makes a sundae.

		LINDA
	You've got to get used to working
	Christmas. People are always
	screaming and yelling... then they
	get home and they're all
	Christmasy.

		STACY
	I think Christmas brings out the
	worst in people.

		LINDA
	I guess Ron hasn't called yet.

		STACY
	Not since November.

Linda nods her head, always the coach.

		LINDA
	Stacy, it doesn't look good for the
	relationship.

Stacy continues making her ice cream, slapping the
scoops onto the stainless steel dish.

		STACY
		(sighs)
	Don't you think it meant anything
	to him. Even if I am fifteen?

		LINDA
	Stacy. What does it matter? He's a
	stereo salesman. You want to marry
	him? You want to have kids with
	him? You want this guy to come
	home, fifty years old, and he's
	still got that little Pacific
	Stereo badge on? Come on.

ANGLE ON GREGG AND CINDY

who are seated at a back table, feeding each other.

Stacy looks at her finished sundae.

		STACY
	I should quit this job. I'm going
	to get so fat working here...
	nobody will ever take me out.

		LINDA
	Stacy. How many times do I have to
	tell you? You are really going to
	be beautiful... someday.

		STACY
	Thanks a lot.

Linda punches Stacy lightly on the shoulder.

		LINDA
	Hey -- Ron Johnson? It's his loss.

We follow Stacy, as she walks into the dining room
to serve the sundae.

INT. WHEREHOUSE RECORDS - MALL - DAY

We see a group of buzz-cut young toughs, walking in
formation, hunched over, sneering and wearing
sleeveless U.S. Army fatigue jackets. None of these
damaged-looking kids is over the age of fourteen.
They pass to reveal this legend on their backs:
LINCOLN SURF NAZIS.

Angle on Mike Damone and Mark Ratner, who are
standing by the upcoming concert list posted on the
door to Wherehouse Records. Damone sees the Surf
Nazis pass, turns to Mark Ratner, who is still
wearing his Cinema Four jacket.

		DAMONE
	The business is changing, Rat. I'll
	tell you, these kids today... they
	don't even listen to Aerosmith.

		THE RAT
	I hear they all dress like that at
	Lincoln now.

		DAMONE
	There used to be three or four of
	those guys. Now we see 'em every
	time we come to the mall.

Damone is approached by a couple of young ticket
Customers.

		CUSTOMER #1
	Got any Blue Oyster Cult tickets?

		DAMONE
	No Cult. I ate twenty-four pairs of
	Blue Oyster Cult tickets last time
	around. I was this close to working
	at 7-11. No Cult.

Suddenly we see all ticket business stop. Damone
and his customers see someone menacingly coming
directly for them. The small crowd parts as Charles
Jefferson, football duffel bag in hand, walks up.
With him is a thick, tough, miniature version of
himself. This is Little Charles. They both stop in
front of Damone.

		JEFFERSON
		(after long look)
	When is Earth, Wind and Fire
	coming?

		DAMONE
		(respectfully)
	I'm really not sure. I haven't
	heard anything yet, but I'll let
	you know the second there is the
	slightest news, sir.

		JEFFERSON
	I'm taking my little brother.

		DAMONE
	Excellent. So that will be two
	tickets... All right. Fine, sir.

Jefferson and L.C. push past the customers.

		CUSTOMER #2
	Wow. He really lives here. I
	thought he just flew in for the
	football games.

		DAMONE
		(gaining composure)
	Shit, he's my man. He knows where
	to come for tickets.

Damone turns to The Rat.

		DAMONE (CONT'D)
	Well, Rat. Are you ready for the
	moment of truth?

The Rat adjusts his jacket, and nods.

		THE RAT
	She is immune to my charms.

They walk together towards Swenson's, as The Rat
drapes his aqua-blue Cinema Four jacket around his
shoulders, like a French film director. Damone
walks a few steps, then stops Rat.

		DAMONE
	Hey, Rat.

		THE RAT
	Yeah?

		DAMONE
	Ace the jacket.

The Rat considers the suggestion, gets rid of the
jacket. They continue towards Swenson's.

EXT. SWENSON'S - DAY

The Rat pulls open the door to Swenson's. He walks
toward the counter to Stacy Hamilton.

		STACY
	Hi. May I help you?

The Rat feels the beginnings of cold panic, but
barges through nonetheless.

		THE RAT
	Yes. I have two questions. I was
	curious...

His voice becomes a shade deeper. He begins to pull
The Attitude together.

		THE RAT (CONT'D)
	What do you do with the jackets
	people leave here?

		STACY
		(smiling)
	We keep them.

		THE RAT
	You keep them.

		STACY
	We keep them, in case the people
	come back.

She reaches under the counter and pulls out a
cardboard box with some rumbled jackets and other
items.

		STACY (CONT'D)
	Here they are. You can look through
	it, if you want.

The Rat chuckles to himself, struggling with The
Attitude.

		THE RAT
	It's cool. It would take too much
	time to go through all that stuff.
	I'll just pick up a new one.

Stacy smiles. He's obviously awkward, and she likes
it.

		STACY
	What's your other question?

		THE RAT
	My other question is... can-I-have
	your-phone-number-so-I-can-ask-you
	out-sometime?

To The Rat's surprise, Stacy continues smiling.

		STACY
	Do you have a pen? This one's out
	of ink.

		THE RAT
	Oh... yes.

He pulls one out of his jacket pocket, gives it to
her. Stacy writes her name and phone number on a
scrap of paper and gives it to him. The Rat looks
at the paper.

		THE RAT (CONT'D)
	Stacy. Nice to meet you, Stacy. My
	name is Mark Ratner.

He sticks out his hand, and they shake. We see The
Rat turn around and walk out of Swenson's.

EXT. SWENSON'S - AFTERNOON

The Rat exits with ultimate cool. He sees Damone
waiting just off to the side, talking to some
girls. The Rat nods, gives him the thumbs-up.
Damone returns the gesture. All-Attitude.

EXT. CARL'S JR. - MORNING

Carl's is happening tonight. There are lots of kids
inside. We hear charging rock music -- "Girls Got
Rhythm" by AC/DC -- coming from a radio in the back
kitchen.

INT. CARL'S JR. BATHROOM - MORNING

Inside the bathroom, Brad Hamilton applies the
Carl's scrub brush to a felt tip graffiti message
near the mirror: I EAT BIG HAIRY PUSSY. He pauses
and catches himself in the mirror. He adjusts his
hair.

		BRAD
	(talking to mirror)
	Lisa? I have something to tell you.
	Look, I'm a senior now.
	I'm a single, successful guy and
	I've got to be fair to myself.
	Lisa... I think I need my freedom.

Brad pauses, looks at the mirror soulfully.

		BRAD (CONT'D)
	Aw, don't do that... don't take it
	personally, okay? Please? I knew
	you'd understand, because...

The bathroom door opens -- it's Arnold, the boy who
Brad got a job.

		ARNOLD
	Brad! I know you're on your break,
	but would you cover me on register
	three?

Brad nods, exits:

INT. CARL'S JR. COUNTER

Brad stands at the register.

We see a prominent display over Brad's head: TRY
OUR 100% GUARANTEED BREAKFAST. The last of many
harried businessmen customers gets his breakfast
order and takes his seat.

Brad is joined by Dennis Taylor, the Assistant
Manager.

		DENNIS
	Come on. Clean that counter off
	Brad. Let's go. Play ball.

		BRAD
	Okay, Dennis.

Brad begins polishing the counter and Dennis Taylor
returns to his office at the back of the kitchen.

Brad watches him disappear behind the door that
says: ASSISTANT MANAGER.

As soon as Dennis disappears behind the door, the
one Businessman in the place rises and returns to
the counter.

		BRAD (CONT'D)
		(nervously)
	May I help you?

The Businessman has short, curly brown hair. He
speaks in a whine.

		BUSINESSMAN
	Yes. This is not the best breakfast
	I ever ate.

The Businessman points to the huge display over
Brad's head: TRY OUR 100% GUARANTEED BREAKFAST.

		BUSINESSMAN (CONT'D)
	And I want my money back.

Brad begins searching under the counter.

		BRAD
	Well, I believe you have to fill
	out a form. There's a pad right
	around here.

		BUSINESSMAN
	No. I want my money back right now.

		BRAD
	Well, that's not the way it works,
	really. And you ate most of your
	food already, too...

		BUSINESSMAN
	See that sign? It says 100% Money
	Back Guarantee. Do you know the
	meaning of the word 'guarantee'? Do
	they teach you that here? Give me
	my money back.

Brad begins looking to the restroom. "Where's
Arnold?"

		BRAD
	I can't do that. But if you wait a
	minute...

		BUSINESSMAN
		(as if talking to a
		kindergartner)
	Look. Just put your little hand
	back in the cash register and give
	me my $2.75 back. Okay?
		(looks at name tag)
	Please, Brad?

		BRAD
	I'm sorry, sir. Just let me find
	the forms here.

		BUSINESSMAN
	I am so tired. I am so tired of
	dealing with morons. How hard is it
	to...

Brad looks up from under the counter. No amount of
pay will make him take that kind of insult.

		BRAD
	Mister, if you don't shut up, I'm
	gonna kick 100% of your ass.

		BUSINESSMAN
	Manager!!

"Bam!" The door to the Assistant Manager's office
swings open, and Dennis comes hurtling out of the
back.

		DENNIS
	Can I help you, sir? Is there a
	problem?

		BUSINESSMAN
	You bet there's a problem! Your
	employee used profanity and
	threatened me with violence! I'm
	shocked, frankly. I've eaten here
	many times and I've always enjoyed
	the service -- until today!

Angle on bathroom door as it opens and Arnold
starts towards the register. He quickly sees the
incident with the irate Businessman and ducks back
inside the bathroom.

		BUSINESSMAN (CONT'D)
	All I wanted was my money back for
	this breakfast. It was a little
	undercooked. And this young man
	threatened me. Now I plan to write
	a letter! I plan to...

Dennis wheels around to Brad.

		DENNIS
	Did you threaten this man or use
	profanity in any way?

		BRAD
	He insulted me first. He called me
	a moron.

		DENNIS
	Did you threaten this customer or
	use profanity in any way?

		BRAD
	Yes, sir.

		DENNIS
	You're fired.

Brad looks around, expecting his friends to defend
him. Dave and Rich seem very occupied with their
work. Brad is stunned.

		DENNIS (CONT'D)
		(to Businessman)
	I'm very sorry this happened to
	you, sir.

		BUSINESSMAN
	Thank you very much.

Then Brad unhooks his fryer's apron and throws it
on the counter. He grabs a backpack and walks out
of the place. On the way, he bangs the bathroom
door with his fist.

		BRAD
	I hope you had a hell of a piss,
	Arnold.

						DISSOLVE
						TO:

INT. BRAD'S ROOM - DAY

He arrives back in his room and locks the door. He
yanks the burger picture off his wall, dumps it
into the trash. Then he takes it back out of the
trash and cracks the cardboard picture and plastic
frame in half.

DARKNESS

We are in the middle of a deep, dark void. After a
moment, a pinprick of light appears in the
distance. We head towards the light. We are being
led somewhere important.

As we draw still closer, curtains suddenly part to
reveal a wildly cheering studio audience. We hear
the voice of Merv Griffin.

		MERV GRIFFIN (O.S.)
	Will you please give a warm welcome
	to... Jeff Spicoli!

The Merv Griffin Show band begins playing a Merv
Griffin Show version of AC/DC's "Highway to Hell".
Someone hands Jeff Spicoli a microphone. He works
the studio audience into a frenzy as he sings the
words to "Highway to Hell": Merv Griffin show
style.

		SPICOLI
		(singing)
	'Layin' ladies!
	Drinkin' wine!
	You gotta dollar --
	You're a friend of mine!
	Gettin' loose!
	Feelin' fine!
	You and me -- It's get down time!
	We're on the Highway to Hell!
	The Highway to Hell!'

Spicoli finishes up with a spectular pump. The
audience goes wild as Merv Griffin greets him
warmly, and guides Spicoli to his seat. Spicoli
motions for the cheers to die down. Griffin is
obviously happy to see him. He touches Spicoli's
arm lightly.

		GRIFFIN
	How've you been?

		SPICOLI
	Outrageous, Merv. Nice to be here.
	I feel great.

		GRIFFIN
	I was going to say... your eyes
	look a little red.

		SPICOLI
	I've been swimming, Merv.

The audience howls. It's a famous Spicoli line.

		SPICOLI (CONT'D)
	Seriously, Merv, everything is
	great.
	I was thinking about picking up
	some hash this weekend, maybe going
	up to the mountains.

		GRIFFIN
		(concerned)
	I wanted to talk a little bit about
	school, if I could...

		SPICOLI
	School.
		(sighs)
	School is no problem. All you have
	to do is go to get the grades. And
	if you know something, all you have
	to do is go about half the time.

		GRIFFIN
	How often do you go?

		SPICOLI
	I don't go at all.

The audience is howling again. He is Merv's
favorite guest.

		GRIFFIN
	I hear you brought a film clip with
	you. Do you want to set it up for
	us?

		SPICOLI
	Well, it pretty much speaks for
	itself. Peter, you want to run with
	it?

EXT. A MASSIVE WAVE - DAY

The film clip begins. It is a mammoth wave cresting
against the blue sky.

		SPICOLI (V.O.)
	Merv, this is the action down at
	Sunset Cliffs at about six in the
	morning.

		GRIFFIN (V.O.)
	Fascinating.

A tiny figure appears at the foot of the wave.

		GRIFFIN (CONT'D)
	Who's that?

		SPICOLI
	That's me, Merv.

The audience gasps.

		GRIFFIN (V.O.)
	Are you going to ride that wave?

		SPICOLI
	Totally.

We watch as Spicoli catches the perfect wave, and
it hurtles him through a turquoise tube of water.

		GRIFFIN
	What's going through your mind
	right here, Jeff? The danger of it
	all?

		SPICOLI
	Merv, I'm thinking... I've only got
	about four good hours of surfing
	left before these little clowns
	from junior high start showing up
	with their boogie boards.

The audience is howling once again... when suddenly
we hear the loud noise of a door opening, followed
by a shrill voice. It is Spicoli's eight-year-old
brother, Curtis.

Jeff Spicoli's dream of glory evaporates.

INT. SPICOLI'S TRAILER HOME - MORNING

It is a messy trailer, part of a trailer park by
the sea. Spicoli's area is small, but he has made
it his own. The walls are covered with posters,
almost all of them naked centerfolds. It is obvious
Spicoli's parents are not welcome in his room.

		CURTIS
	Dad says you have to get up!

		SPICOLI
	Ugh.

He groans, starts to struggle out of bed.

		SPICOLI (CONT'D)
	Leave me alone!

		CURTIS
	Dad says you're late again, you
	butthole!

		SPICOLI
	Leave me alone.

		CURTIS
	Dad says!

Spicoli reaches over to the floor next to his bed.
He pulls a snorkel from the mess, heaves it at the
door and his little brother. It bounces off the
wall and doesn't even hit Curtis, but the kid
starts crying anyway.

		CURTIS (CONT'D)
	Daaaaaaaad! Jeff threw a snorkel at
	me!!!!!!

Spicoli gets out of bed, groans again, and kicks
the door shut.

EXT. RIDGEMONT GYMNASIUM

celebrating the big game with rival Lincoln High
School. We see Jeff Spicoli stumble from the
direction of the parking lot. He heads into the
gym, which is already full for a mandatory
assembly.

INT. GYMNASIUM - DOORWAY - DAY

Spicoli wanders into the assembly, takes a seat on
a corner bleacher. He sits just below Brad Hamilton
and Lisa.

On podium in front of assembly, Cindy Carr and
another cheerleader, Dina Phillips, are making a
presentation before the school.

		CINDY
	I just want to say that we are not
	'Spirit Bunnies' anymore. We always
	hated that name. It bugged the heck
	out of Dina and me...

		DINA
	It's just such a put down.

		CINDY
	They don't call the Chess Club
	'Checker Champs' or anything like
	that. We're going to go to
	everything this year, you guys.
	We're going to go to soccer,
	wrestling, basketball...
	everything. We know you've got a
	lot of spirit! Everybody --
	riiiiiight? And we're gonna destroy
	Lincoln next week? Riiiiiiight?

ANGLE ON THE STUDENTS OF RIDGEMONT

They don't respond.

ANGLE ON JEFF SPICOLI

who is asleep in the bleachers.

ANGLE ON BRAD AND LISA

sitting nearby. We hear them over the drone of the
assembly.

		BRAD
	Man, I don't even want to see those
	guys from Carl's again.

		LISA
	If you'd apologize I think Dennis
	would take you back.

		BRAD
	Apologize to that wimp? No way.
	Fuck Dennis Taylor.

They sit in silence for a moment.

		BRAD (CONT'D)
	I'm just glad we're still together,
	Lisa, because I need you this year.

		LISA
		(sighs)
	Look, Brad, I've been trying to
	think of a way to tell you this.
	We're almost out of high school,
	this is our last year. I think we
	owe it to ourselves to be free, and
	meet some new people. Then, if we
	get back together, we'll know it's
	the right thing.

TIGHT ANGLE ON BRAD'S FACE

as he accepts the news.

		LISA (O.S.) (CONT'D)
	But I still want to be friends.

TIGHT ANGLE ON BRAD'S FACE

as it falls slack.

INT. GYM - PODIUM IN FRONT OF ASSEMBLY

		CINDY
	We're going to be going to every
	game this year. We just want the
	crowd to participate and we want
	spirit from every little person in
	this entire school. Allll-Riiiight?

There is unenthusiastic, minor applause from the
assembled students of Ridgemont High. Vice
Principal Ray Connors, a tough-looking man with an
H.R. Haldeman crew cut, approaches the podium. He
has a sour look on his face.

		CONNORS
	Well, thank you, girls. People,
	don't forget, the big game is one
	week away. We'll see everybody back
	here on Monday and have a good
	weekend.

For the first time during this assembly, there is a
loud and hearty applause.

A GRAINY HIGH SCHOOL FILM 57

We are suddenly watching a movie shown on a class
projection screen. We see footage of a serene,
middle-class neighborhood -- as seen through the
glass windshield of a car. Judging from the other
vehicles parked on the street, the film is from the
early Sixties. We hear the narrative voice of Desi
Arnaz, speaking in his inimitable Latin accent.

		ARNAZ
	Driving ess an important part of
	each and every one of our da-ily
	lives. Ees a responsibility like no
	o-ther and ess a matter of life
	and...

A ball comes rolling out into the serene street. A
small child runs out after it. The driving of our
vehicle brakes, but not in time. The film freeze
frames on the terrified face of a child about to be
splattered.

		ARNAZ (CONT'D)
	Death.

There is a swell of dramatic music.

		ARNAZ (CONT'D)
	They have foun'... The Braking
	Point.

The words flash on the screen and we hear a high
school Driver's Training class groan in mock
horror.

INT. DRIVER TRAINING CLASS - DAY

ANGLE ON CHARLES JEFFERSON AND BRAD HAMILTON

who are seated in this class.

ANGLE ON LINDA AND STACY

sitting together in the class. They are oblivious,
lost in conversation.

		STACY
	What do you think of that guy who
	works at the theatre? You know,
	Mark Ratner.

		LINDA
	Oh, come on. What is he? Fifteen?

		STACY
	Sixteen.

Linda looks nauseous.

		LINDA
	Just watch out if he pulls up in a
	van, and then puts on a Led
	Zeppelin tape.

INT. DRIVER TRAINING CLASS

The film returns to another serene street scene as
seen through another front windshield.

		ARNAZ
	The driver here has had jus' two
	drinks. Two drinks at the home of a
	frien'.

We hear the very-present sounds of Driver's
Training students.

		STUDENT #1
	He's fucked-up, Ricky!

		STUDENT #2
	They guys a drunk, Ricky!

		ARNAZ
	And although this driver thinks he
	ees drivin' well, he may be 'doing
	okay, but he forgets to per-ceive
	what ees real goin' on...

In the film, another car comes barreling from the
left, running a stop sign and exploding into the
side of the two-drink goner. In the class, the
Driver's Training students are howling.

EXT. RIDGEMONT MALL - EARLY EVENING

The parking lot is full. Kids and shoppers stream
through the entrance in groups of all sizes.

INT. RIDGEMONT MALL

All three levels are teeming with kids.

ANGLE ON THE VIDEO PINBALL ARCADE

where we see Jeff Spicoli manning the Missile
Command machine. Spicoli wears a red bandana across
his forehead. A cigarette dangles from his mouth.
He is surrounded by a fleet of young surfers who
listen to him with reverence.

		SPICOLI
	Be noble. Be aggressive. The thing
	about Missile Command is to
	decimate before you can be
	decimated. Just like in real life.

The youngsters hang on every word of the sage
advice.

ANGLE ON A GANG OF SURF NAZIS

walking in formation.

ANGLE ON MIKE DAMONE AND MARK RATNER

walking the mall.

		DAMONE
	Check it out, Rat. The Surf
	Nazis... out for a Sunday stroll.

Damone and The Rat walk on. The Rat is barely
interested. He appears deep in thought.

		THE RAT
	What do I say after she gets in the
	car?

Damone, obviously in his element here at the mall,
stops to flash a winning smile at a well-built
older housewife.

		DAMONE
	No problem, Rat. What you need is
	my special Five Point Plan.

As he talks, Damone passes a Country Farms shop. He
plucks a free sample of cheese and sausage.

		THE RAT
	Knock it off, Damone. I need real
	help.

		DAMONE
	What do you mean? Men have died
	trying to obtain this information.
	I will give it to you for free.

The Rat and Damone continue on.

		THE RAT
	Okay. Tell me. What's the Five
	Point Plan?

		DAMONE
	All right. Pay attention.

The Rat nods, always the student, as they pass a
Wherehouse Record store. Damone stops right in
front of a seductively posed life-sized cardboard
stand-up of Debbie Harry, the alluring rock singer.

Damone begins his speech.

		DAMONE (CONT'D)
	First of all, Rat... never let on
	how much you like a girl.

Damone turns to the cardboard cutout of Debbie
Harry to demonstrate.

		DAMONE (CONT'D)
		(disinterested)
	Oh. Hi.
		(turns back to The Rat) )
	Two. Always call the shots.

He turns to Debbie Harry, who looks on with an
inviting cardboard smile.

		DAMONE (CONT'D)
	Kiss me.
		(to The Rat)
	Three. Act like wherever you are,
	that's the place to be.
		(to Debbie Harry;
		debonair) )
	Isn't this great?
		(to The Rat)
	Four. When ordering food, find out
	what she wants and then order for
	both of you... it's a classy move.
		(to Debbie Harry; Cary
		Grant)
	And the lady will have...
		(to The Rat)
	Five. And this is most important.
	When you get down to making out,
	whenever possible, put on the first
	side of Led Zeppelin IV.
		(to Debbie Harry;
		seductive)
	Why don't you put this tape on? It
	sounds great in the back of my
	van... why don't we listen from
	there?

ANGLE ON DEBBIE HARRY

with the same inviting smile.

		DAMONE (CONT'D)
	And that is how you talk to a girl,
	Rat. Voila. You can't miss.

		THE RAT
	I think I've got it. Once I get
	going, I'll be okay. But... how do
	I get started? I mean, I hardly
	know her.

		DAMONE
	You wuss. It's no problem. One
	person says something to the other
	and that's how it starts...

Standing there in the front of the Wherehouse, The
Rat nods his head and smiles. He's finally
beginning to understand, and we...

						CUT TO:

EXT. THE RAT'S CAR - LATER THAT NIGHT

We see The Rat behind the wheel of a green Volvo.
Stacy sits beside him. They are driving the streets
of Ridgemont.

INT. THE RAT'S CAR

This is it. The Big Date. "Led Zeppelin IV" is on
the car stereo of his sister's van.

Finally...

		STACY
	Thanks for coming to get me.

		THE RAT
	Sure thing.

Silence.

EXT. THE RAT'S CAR

He rounds the corner of Luna Street, off the neon
fast-food stand that is Ridgemont Drive.

INT. THE RAT'S CAR

Yet another silence has fallen. Then, after a
time...

		STACY
	This is a nice car.

		THE RAT
	Yeah. It's my sister's.

Silence.

		STACY
	Do you have Mrs. George for
	English?

		THE RAT
	Yeah. She is pretty good.

		STACY
	Yeah. She is pretty good.

EXT. ATLANTIS RESTAURANT - NIGHT

They pull into the parking lot of a steak and
lobster house called The Atlantis.

		THE RAT
	Joey at Cinema Four said this is a
	pretty good restaurant.

		STACY
	I've heard that, too.

The Rat finds a parking spot near the back of the
lot, grateful that the long silence is over. He
walks with Stacy to the front of The Atlantis.

INT. THE ATLANTIS - NIGHT

The Rat and Stacy are escorted by the host to a
nearby table. They are given large wooden menus.

		THE RAT
	Do you know what you want?

		STACY
	I think I'll have the Seafood Salad
	Special.

		THE RAT
	Excellent.

The Rat leans back in the booth. He is starting to
feel in control now. Then something hits him. The
panic sweeps across his face.

Slowly, The Rat reaches back to check his wallet.
It's gone.

		STACY
	Are you all right?

		THE RAT
		(weakly)
	Oh yeah.

Cool. Cool was the name of the game. Stay cool.

		THE RAT (CONT'D)
	Do you mind if I excuse myself for
	a moment?

		STACY
	Not at all.

Just as The Rat is about to get up, the Waitress
approaches the table.

		WAITRESS
	Are you ready to order here?

		THE RAT
	Well... sure.
		(settles back down)
	She will have the Seafood Salad
	Special. And I will have... the
	same.

		WAITRESS
	Anything to drink?

		THE RAT
	Two Cokes.

		WAITRESS
	Okay. Thanks.

The Rat gets back up again, looking paler by the
minute. He excuses himself and walks over to the
pay phone by the Atlantis toilets.

The Rat dials a number. Damone answers.

INT. DAMONE'S ROOM - NIGHT

He is sitting in a chair, leaning onto the back two
legs, watching television.

		DAMONE
	Yo.

		THE RAT (V.O.)
	Damone. It's Mark.

		DAMONE
	Mark. What happened to your date?

		THE RAT
	It's happening right now. I'm here
	at the Atlantis. Everything's fine
	except... I left my wallet at home.

		DAMONE
	Did you go home and get it?

		THE RAT
	No. It's too late. The food is
	coming and everything. Damone, I've
	got to ask you this favor, and I'll
	never ask you for anything again in
	this lifetime or any other. Will
	you please borrow your mom's car,
	go by my house, get my wallet, and
	meet me back here?

There is silence.

		THE RAT (CONT'D)
	Damone, are you there?

		DAMONE
		(world-weary sigh)
	I'm really pretty busy...

ANGLE ON DAMONE'S TELEVISION

as we see the flickering images of Leave It To
Beaver.

		DAMONE (CONT'D)
	You owe me for this one.

INT. ATLANTIS

The Rat hangs up, mildly relieved, and returns to
the table.

						DISSOLVE
						TO:

INT. STACY AND THE RAT'S TABLE - AN HOUR LATER

The Rat and Stacy have finished the meal, and
desert.

ANGLE ON THE CHECK

as it sits in a little tray before The Rat.

The Waitress approaches the table. It is clear she
wants to make room for other customers and bigger
tips.

		WAITRESS
	Are you sure there's nothing else I
	can bring you?

		THE RAT
	I'll have one more Coke... Do you
	want another Coke, Stacy?

		STACY
		(quizzical) )
	Sure. I'll... have another Coke.

		THE RAT
	Two more Cokes.

		WAITRESS
		(sarcastic)
	Two... more... Cokes.

ANGLE ON FRONT DOOR

as Mike Damone finally walks in. Damone looks over
the diners, then feigns great surprise when he sees
The Rat.

		DAMONE
	Hey, Mark. Is that you?

		THE RAT
	Damone! You come here?

		DAMONE
	I come for the seafood. It's great!
	Hey... you know what, Mark? I found
	your wallet the other day. You want
	it back?

		THE RAT
	Wow. I've been looking for that
	thing! Hey, Damone, have you met
	Stacy Hamilton? Stacy, this is Mike
	Damone.

Stacy smiles politely, with the slightest sparkle
in her eye, as the Waitress returns with the two
Cokes.

		DAMONE
	Well, I've gotta be running.

		THE RAT
	Okay. See ya.

ANGLE ON STACY

looking strangely at the proceedings.

		DAMONE
	Nice to meet you, Stacy.

		STACY
	Nice to meet you.

Damone leaves. The Rat takes a few quick gulps of
Coke, and gets up to pay the bill. As he moves out
of camera range, we see the strange look on the
faces of waitresses and diners.

INT. THE RAT'S CAR - LATE EVENING

The Rat pulls up to Stacy's house in the cul-de
sac. He stares straight ahead, like a zombie.

		THE RAT
	I had a really nice time tonight.

		STACY
	Me, too. I'm real sorry someone
	broke in and stole your tape deck.

The Rat nods glumly.

		THE RAT
	I never thought it would happen at
	The Atlantis. Jeez.

		STACY
	Do you want to come inside?

		THE RAT
	Aren't your parents asleep?

		STACY
	No, they're away for the weekend.
	Brad and I are watching the house.

		THE RAT
	Okay. Sure. I'll come in.

We see a confused but interested look on The Rat's
face.

INT. THE HAMILTON HOUSE - EVENING

They walk in the front door. The Rat stands
uncomfortably in the doorway to the living room.

		THE RAT
	Where's your brother?

		STACY
	I don't know. Probably out. Want
	something to drink?

		THE RAT
	No. That's okay.

		STACY
	Well, I'm going to change real
	quick. I hope you don't mind.

		THE RAT
	Naw. I don't mind.

Stacy turns her back and pulls up her hair.

		STACY
	Will you unzip me?

ANGLE ON THE RAT'S FACE

as the wheels inside his mind start to spin. This
can't be what it seems. He unzips Stacy, past her
bra, down to the small of her back. It's the first
time he's ever done anything like that.

		STACY (CONT'D)
	Thanks!

She walks down the hall to her room, easing out of
her dress as she walks. She leaves the door to her
room open.

		STACY (CONT'D)
	You can come in, if you want!

ANGLE ON THE RAT'S FACE

He is completely unsure of himself, as he begins to
walk down the hall. His heart pounds into his
throat. He turns the corner and steps into Stacy's
room.

INT. STACY'S ROOM - NIGHT

Stacy stands there, looking gorgeous in an almost
seethrough white robe. The Rat pretends not to
notice.

		THE RAT
	So... pretty nice house you've got
	here.

		STACY
	Thanks. So...
		(puts hands on hips)
	What do you want to do?

ANGLE ON THE RAT'S FACE

as he struggles with the memory of Damone's words.
"Always call the shots."

		THE RAT
	I don't know.

		STACY
	Do you want to see some pictures? I
	kept a lot of scrapbooks and
	pictures and stuff from junior
	high. How stupid, right?

		THE RAT
	Sure.

Stacy goes to her closet, reaches up to grab the
books from the top shelf. The Rat watches her robe
slip up her legs. Then she sits down next to him.
Her knee grazes his. It is almost too much for The
Rat. Go for it. We see The Rat struggle with the
action of putting his arm around her. He almost
does, but then reacts as she says suddenly...

		STACY
	This is me in the eighth grade. Did
	you have Mr. Deegan?

		THE RAT
		(looking pained)
	Oh, yeah. I had Mr. Deegan.

Her knee grazes him again. Does she expect
something?

		THE RAT (CONT'D)
	Look, Stacy, I want you to know
	that...

The Rat struggles. Try as he might, he can't seem
to cross the line. He can't make his move. He is
woeful as he completes the sentence.

		THE RAT (CONT'D)
	... I've got to go home.

		STACY
	Do you really have to go?

		THE RAT
	Well... it's getting kind of late.

Suddenly, The Rat is seized with ambition. He
reaches one hand around her right shoulder and
plants the other hand directly on her left breast.
It looks something like a wrestling hold. The Rat
looks at Stacy. Stacy looks back at The Rat. The
Rat is absolutely frozen.

		STACY
	I guess it is getting late, Mark.

She shrugs him off, walks him to the door.

EXT. THE HAMILTON HOME - NIGHT

We see The Rat's forlorn face as he trudges towards
his car. He stops. He takes a breath -- it wasn't
that late, he really didn't want to leave. The Rat
turns and begins walking back up the Hamilton
steps. Just as he does so, Stacy's bedroom light
clicks off. It was too late. He kicks at his car.

		THE RAT
	You blew it, asshole.

Behind him, recklessly speeding towards Ridgemont
Drive, is Charles Jefferson's blue Mustang.

EXT./INT. THE BLUE MUSTANG - NIGHT

Jeff Spicoli is behind the wheel. Sitting next to
him is Little Charles, "L.C.", Jefferson's younger
brother. They're smoking grass and holding
Lowenbrau beers in between their legs. The radio is
blasting the music of Rick James.

		L.C.
	Hey, slow down. This is my
	brother's car.

		SPICOLI
	I thought he was out of town.

		L.C.
	He is.

		SPICOLI
	Then don't hassle it.

They speed off down Ridgemont.

		L.C.
	Seen the new Playboy?

		SPICOLI
	Naw. Any good?

		L.C.
	Suzanne Somers' tits.

		SPICOLI
	All right.

		L.C.
	I like sex.

Spicoli sees something in the rearview mirror.

		SPICOLI
	Hold your beer down, L.C., I think
	it's a cop.

Spicoli slows down. The car behind him slows down.

		SPICOLI (CONT'D)
	This is a cop. He's definitely
	cruising me at busting distance.

The high beams switch on behind Spicoli.

		SPICOLI (CONT'D)
	What the fuck is this guy doing?

The car behind Spicoli then advances to the point
where it is now almost touching the blue Mustang.

		SPICOLI (CONT'D)
	What the fuck is this guy doing?

		L.C.
	This ain't no cop.

The mystery car bumps them lightly from behind.

		L.C. (CONT'D)
	Hey! He's gonna scratch my
	brother's car!

The two boys start yelling. High beams fill the
Mustang with bright light and...

EXT./INT. MUSTANG AND GRANADA

Then mystery car pulls back, then up alongside
Spicoli and L.C. on the left. We hear the music on
the radio of George Thoroughgood's "Ride On,
Josephine".

		SPICOLI
	It's a bunch of Jocks in a Granada!

		L.C.
	They're fuckin' with us.

The drivers of the two cars eye each others. Then
the Granada begins inching over, trying to force
Spicoli off the road.

		L.C. (CONT'D)
	My brother's car!

		SPICOLI
	All right. Die, Granada Jocks!

Spicoli guns ahead, in a real bullet move, and
easily overtakes the Granada. Spicoli is proud of
himself. He checks himself out in the rearview and
turns to L.C.

		SPICOLI (CONT'D)
	Would you roll your window up,
	L.C.? It's messing my hair.

Spicoli pulls way ahead of the Granada, while L.C.
rolls his window up. Spicoli looks over to L.C. and
smiles wickedly.

Now Spicoli wants to show off. He pushes the pedal
to the floor.

		L.C.
	We just missed the turnoff to the
	party.

		SPICOLI
	You know the thing I love about
	Mustangs? The steering wheel.

Spicoli fingers the bubbles in the wheel.

		SPICOLI (CONT'D)
	With a genuine Mustang steering
	wheel, you can negotiate a hairpin
	turn with ease, my man.

EXT./INT. MUSTANG

on the word "ease", Spicoli curls his finger into
one of the Mustang steering wheel bubbles and whips
it clockwise. The idea is to turn off onto a side
street and head back to the party. But instead, at
the moment of the hairpin turn, L.C. is attempting
to switch the radio station. Spicoli crooks his
finger farther into the bubble than he expected.
The car swings in a complete circle, a circle that
includes a bright yellow fire hydrant. The hydrant
rips the side of the car open like a can of tuna.
There is a silent moment of terror.

		SPICOLI
	Are you okay?

There is silence. Outside the smashed car, the
Granada Jocks pass Spicoli and L.C.

		GRANADA JOCKS
	Fuck youuuuuuuuuu!

Then L.C. stirs and utters his first words.

		L.C.
	My brother is going to kill us.
	He's gonna kill you and then he's
	gonna kill me. He's gonna kill us.

		SPICOLI
	Just be glad you're all right.

		L.C.
	My brother is gonna shit.

		SPICOLI
	Make up your mind. Is he gonna
	shit, or is he gonna kill us?

		L.C.
	First he's gonna shit. And then
	he's gonna kill us..

		SPICOLI
	Will you just relax, mon? He's not
	gonna kill us. My father is a
	television repairman. He's got all
	kinds of tools. I can fix-this car.

		L.C.
	You can't fix this car, Spicoli.

ANGLE ON THE BLUE MUSTANG

waffled and mangled. It is just inches away from
scrap iron.

		SPICOLI
	I can fix it.

MONTAGE OF SHOTS

as we see Ridgemont High gearing up for its big
Homecoming Game against Lincoln. We see a series of
shots of kids talking about it, wagering on the
chances of a Ridgemont victory. We see the many
signs and placards all over school, proclaiming
Ridgemont revenge. We see students lining up to
vote for Homecoming King and Queen in the
gymnasium. It is the most spirit that Ridgemont has
shown this year.

						DISSOLVE
						TO:

EXT. RIDGEMONT SCHOOL - FLAGPOLE - DAY

From the back of the parking lot, we see a crowd
around the flagpole. A group of kids are staring at
something. They sadly shake their heads at the
sight, as if they are witnessing a funeral.

As we draw closer, we see the center of commotion.
It is an ugly sight. Someone had wrecked Charles
Jefferson's Blue Scholarship Mustang and welded it
to the flagpole. Spray-painted on the side was the
message: LINCOLN SURF PUNKS RULE.

EXT. RIDGEMONT BLEACHERS - NIGHT

The Ridgemont football bleachers are full of
cheering students. We see the same basic groups
from lunch court, and many more.

The cheerleaders are on the field -- Cindy Carr,
Dina Phillips and company -- and their cheerleader
"husbands" sit directly in front of them in the
stands. Linda and Stacy sit in the bleachers with
some of the Swenson's girls. The Rat and Damone sit
several rows above them, watching. The teachers sit
together in another section.

ANGLE ON BRAD HAMILTON

who is again sitting alone in the bleachers.
Watching. Several old lunch court friends pass by,
on their way to the concession area.

		STUDENT #1
	Hey, Brad! How's going?

		BRAD
	All right.

		STUDENT #2
	Where you working?

		BRAD
	Fish and chips place.

		STUDENT #1
	Which one?

		BRAD
	Just a fish and chips place.

Brad says nothing more. The students look at each
other.

		STUDENTS
	We'll be seeing you, Brad!

		BRAD
		(sullen)
	Later.

EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - THE GAME - NIGHT

Everyone is cheering the amazing game on the field.
Charles Jefferson is poised on the offensive line.
He mutters a string of obscenities at the opposing
Lincoln player. The ball is snapped, and Charles
Jefferson comes directly at the player with both
elbows up and angled to hit inside his helmet. The
Lincoln player is hit and keels over.

Charles Jefferson sets up for another play. The
ball is snapped. Ka-boom. Down falls another
Lincoln player. Jefferson doesn't know who it was
who wrecked his Mustang, but he wasn't about to
spare any of them. There is pure madness in his
eyes. It has taken him over.

The Ridgemont points rack up. Jefferson is single
handedly maiming Lincoln for Homecoming.

EXT. RIDGEMONT BLEACHERS - NIGHT

We see Jeff Spicoli and L.C. sitting calmly in the
bleachers, watching.

		SPICOLI
	I think we may have gotten away
	clean.

EXT. FIELD AND SCOREBOARD

The half-time gun fires and the score is 36-7...
Ridgemont. Even the Ridgemont players steer clear
of Charles Jefferson as they return to their locker
room.

EXT. THE HAMILTON POOL - HOT AFTERNOON - SEVERAL
WEEKS LATER

Linda and Stacy are sitting by the pool, dressed in
string tie bathing suits. They are listening to the
music of Tom Petty's "Breakdown" playing on the
living room stereo. Linda luxuriously applies
suntan lotion to her chest and legs, in long and
writhing strokes. Stacy reads a book. It's called
Total Orgasm. Several beats pass.

		LINDA
	I sent a letter to Doug today. I'll
	be so glad when he gets out here.

		STACY
		(engrossed in book)
	You really ought to look at this,
	Linda. There's a drawing on every
	page... and all these quizzes. It's
	like school.

		LINDA
	Why don't you put your mother's
	secret book back?

Linda continues regally applying lotion.

		STACY
	Listen to this... 'What are your
	mate's three most erogenous zones?'

		LINDA
		(automatic)
	Okay, penis, that's one, balls...

		STACY
	Wouldn't penis and balls be the
	same category?

		LINDA
	You're right. Probably penis, mouth
	and neck.

		STACY
	All right! Here's another one. 'The
	most satisfactory lovemaking occurs
	when your mate climaxes first, you
	climax first, you and your mate
	climax together?'

		LINDA
	Climax together.

		STACY
	Does that ever happen?

		LINDA
	No. But it's a nice idea.

		STACY
	Listen to this ... it says 'Most
	women derive pleasure from sex, but
	they don't have real orgasms.'

Linda stops applying lotion, considers that
thought.

		LINDA
	Well... they obviously don't know
	about Doug.

They laugh. Linda resumes applying the lotion.
Stacy continues reading the book. A couple of beats
pass.

		STACY
	How long does Doug take?

		LINDA
	I don't know. Thirty to forty
	minutes.

		STACY
		(pause)
	What's Doug do in Chicago?

		LINDA
	He works for the airline. He'll be
	out here. You'll meet him.

Stacy looks at Linda, almost disbelieving.

		LINDA (CONT'D)
		(wistful)
	He's no high school boy.

There is a noise by the side fence leading into the
Hamiltons' backyard. It is Mark Ratner and Mike
Damone. They are already wearing swimsuits.

		DAMONE
	Hey! We came over to help you with
	Math homework!

		STACY
	Oh, really?

		THE RAT
	Really. We figured you needed the
	help. On such a hot day.

Stacy quickly stashes the book in a stack of towels
beside her. She leans over to Linda and speaks
confidentially.

		STACY
	What do you think?

		LINDA
	I think they're both virgins.

Stacy smiles, gets up and goes over to the fence.

		STACY
	I didn't ask for any help. Did you,
	Linda?

		LINDA
	No.

		DAMONE
	Well, that's exactly why I brought
	some Wisk for the jacuzzi.

		STACY
	O-kay, you guys can come swimming.
	But you have to leave as soon as my
	Mom gets home. Okay?

EXT. HAMILTON POOL

Mike Damone yells "banzai!" and dives into the
small pool. At one end of the pool is the jacuzzi,
which is separated by a tile wall. Damone has
already poured the Wisk into the jacuzzi, and the
detergent has created a huge bubble bath effect.
Damone surfaces and flips into the jacuzzi.

Stacy, looking great in a green bikini, sits
kicking her legs by the side of the pool. Linda
stands on the board. She is poised to dive. The Rat
treads water and stares at both girls. Inside the
Hamilton living room, the family stereo plays the
music of Deep Purple's "Woman From Tokyo".

		DAMONE
	Hey, Linda! I'll judge your dive.
	I'm a champion diver myself.

Brad arrives home by the side gate and slams it
behind him. He is home from a bad day at work. He
walks out onto the patio and stands with his hands
on his hips. For the first time, our former campus
hero looks absurd. He is still in his uniform from
Captain Kidd Fish and Chips -- it is a blue and
white striped Pirates of the Caribbean outfit,
complete with black plastic sword at the side, and
a ridiculously large Ponce de Leon-esque hat. Brad
carries the hat under his arm.

		BRAD
	Does Mom know you have company?

		STACY
	It's just Linda. And Mark from
	school.

Brad ignores the underclassmen, and notices Linda
on the board in her maroon bikini. He smiles.

		BRAD
	Hi, Linda.

		LINDA
	Hi, Brad.

		BRAD
	Well, you guys, keep it down. I've
	got some work to do upstairs.

Brad turns and heads back inside. He is just out of
earshot when they begin talking about him.

		LINDA
	God, he hardly even talks anymore.

		STACY
	I know. He hates to have to wear
	uniforms.

		DAMONE
	Poor guy.

		THE RAT
	Really.

Stacy breaks the spell by jumping into the water,
surfacing, and flipping over the tile wall into the
Jacuzzi. She sits next to Damone, looking
mischievous.

ANGLE ON DAMONE AND STACY IN THE JACUZZI

talking while the others are at the other end of
the pool.

ANGLE ON THE RAT

casually catching sight of them together from the
other side of the pool. We can read the emotions on
The Rat's face. He is still taken with Stacy, but
his big moment for her appears to have passed.

ANGLE ON DAMONE AND STACY IN THE JACUZZI

as they talk.

Underneath the water, her leg accidentally knocks
against his. Then he feels her continue. Damone
feels Stacy's cool hand on his inner thigh. Moving
upwards, stopping just short of the bulge in his
trunks.

ANGLE ON DAMONE'S FACE

as it loosens and quivers just the slightest bit.
This is uncharted territory, even for Mr. Attitude.

ANGLE ON LINDA

who is now sunning herself by the side of the pool.
She rubs her legs against each other, slowly,
enjoying the hot afternoon.

EXT. BRAD'S WINDOW - ANGLE ON BRAD

who is watching Linda from the window in his room.
We see him from behind, peeking out the curtains.

EXT. POOL - ANGLE ON LINDA

who smiles at Damone and flips back into the pool
with a splash. Damone steals a look down at his
swimsuit. He's popped a big one.

		THE RAT
	Why don't you get up and do a dive,
	Mike?

		LINDA
	Go ahead.

ANGLE ON DAMONE'S FACE

and we know he can't get out of the water yet.

		DAMONE
	No. I don't think so. Not right
	now.

		THE RAT
	Chicken!

Linda, for one, loses interest quickly. Standing by
the side of the pool, she jams a finger in her ear
and wiggles it.

		LINDA
	Stacy! I've got water in my ears.
	Do you have any Q-Tips?

		STACY
	God, I don't think so. Better look
	in the house.

Linda towels off and heads back inside the Hamilton
house. She knows how to walk.

INT. BRAD'S BEDROOM AND BATHROOM - AFTERNOON

We see Brad's room. The Carl's burger picture on
the wall is conspicuously missing. There is music
playing from his stereo -- Pink Floyd's "You and
Me".

We see Brad. He is kneeling on the bathroom floor,
his back to us. His green T-shirt is on, his
underwear in a pile on the floor behind him. His
arm is pumping slowly. Brad is jacking off.

						DISSOLVE
						TO:

EXT. HAMILTON POOL - BRAD'S DAYDREAM

It features Linda Barrett, just as she stood on the
diving board a moment ago. She is gorgeous. Her
breasts seem even bigger than usual. Her nipples
are hard, poking through the film maroon string
bikini. Water rolls slowly down her cheeks, into
the corners of her mouth. Her lips are parted
slightly. Her eyes are filled with desire as she
says...

		LINDA
	Hi, Brad.
		(pause)
	You know how cute I always thought
	you were. I think you're so sexy.
	Will you come to me?

ANGLE ON BRAD IN DAYDREAM

in a nice shirt, his hair combed back and looking
great. He walks to Linda. She reaches out and grabs
him for a kiss, pulling him close. Then she pushes
him away, so he can watch as she carefully unstraps
the top of her bathing suit. The incredible Linda
Barrett's breasts fall loose.

She takes Brad's hands and places them on her, as
she begins unbuttoning his shirt. They are just
about to fall into passionate lovemaking when we
hear...

		LINDA (O.S.) (CONT'D)
	Hey, Brad! Do you have any Q-Ti...

The daydream evaporates and we see real life again
with an...

INT. BRAD'S BATHROOM - ANGLE ON LINDA'S FACE

in the doorway of Brad's bathroom as she watches
the sight before her.

ANGLE ON BRAD

trying to cover himself and act nonchalant and keep
his back turned at the same time. The words barely
escape his mouth.

		BRAD
	Wait just a... minute.

		LINDA
	Sorry. I didn't know anybody was in
	here.

Linda turns and goes immediately, as if she wants
to forget what she saw as quickly as possible. She
closes the door behind her.

ANGLE ON BRAD

still kneeling. It had all happened so quickly, so
fast

		BRAD
	Doesn't anybody fuckin' knock
	anymore?

He slams the toilet seat down and we...

						CUT TO:

INT. U.S. HISTORY CLASS - DAY

The third attendance bell rings, and Mr. Hand
strides to the front of the class. He locks the
door. Then he takes the front of the class and
notices something very different.

ANGLE ON JEFF SPICOLI

bright and clear-eyed, sitting in the front row.
His hands are clasped in front of him on the desk.
His textbook is open to the proper page.

Mr. Hand is suspicious, but continues with class.

		MR. HAND
	Now in 1898, Spain owned Cuba.
	Outright. Think about it. Cuba,
	owned by a disorganized parliament
	4,000 miles away. Cubans were in a
	constant state of revolt.

Mr. Hand begins pacing the aisles as he talks.

		MR. HAND (CONT'D)
	In 1904, the United States decided
	to throw a little weight around,
	and...

There is a brief, sharp knock at the door. Mr. Hand
whips his head around, like McGarrett. He
approaches the door like a cat.

		MR. HAND (CONT'D)
		(sweet voice)
	Who is it?

		VOICE
	Mr. Pizza.

		MR. HAND
	Again?

		VOICE
	Mr. Pizza, sir!

Hand swings the door open, out of curiosity. In
walks a young Man in a Mr. Pizza delivery shirt.

		PIZZA MAN
	Okay, who had the double cheese
	sausage and bologna?

Jeff Spicoli speaks up.

		SPICOLI
	That's me.

The Delivery Man takes the pizza, sets it on the
desk, as Spicoli whips out some crumpled dollars.
Then he produces yet another crumpled dollar, and
presses it into the Delivery Man's hand.

		SPICOLI (CONT'D)
	For you, my man.

The Delivery Man thanks him warmly, just as Mr.
Hand rages into the picture.

		MR. HAND
	Am I hallucinating here? Just what
	in the hell do you think you're
	doing?

		SPICOLI
	Learning about Cuba. Having some
	food.

		MR. HAND
	Mr. Spicoli, you're on dangerous
	ground here. You're causing a major
	disturbance in my class and on my
	time.

		SPICOLI
		(cool and urbane)
	I've been thinking about this, Mr.
	Hand. If I'm here... and you're
	here... doesn't that make it our
	time?

Mr. Hand is so furious he's almost shaking.

		SPICOLI (CONT'D)
	So I thought I'd order us a pizza.
	Just leave me a lot of bologna...

Mr. Hand snatches up the pizza, and starts to throw
it in the wastebasket. Then he thinks better, and
heads for the door. He opens it just as a gang of
young Stoners walk past.

		STONER #1
	There's the pizza.

		STONER #2
	Totally!

Mr. Hand pushes the pizza into their hands and
slams the door.

		SPICOLI
	You better save some for me, you
	swine!

		MR. HAND
	And you, my friend. I'll see you
	for a two-hour detention every
	afternoon this week.

Spicoli eases back in his chair, shrugs. It was a
good idea at the time.

INT. CAPTAIN KIDD FISH AND CHIPS - DAY

Brad Hamilton, looks terribly uncomfortable in his
Ponce de Leon hat and buccaneer uniform. He rings
up an order for an older Customer.

		CUSTOMER
	Why aren't you in school, son?

		BRAD
	I go to school in the mornings. I
	have a work study program for the
	afternoon.

He bags one final coffee and punches up the amount.

		BRAD
	$8.46, please.

		CUSTOMER
	Here you go. I have it exactly.
		(sets money down)
	Good luck!

		BRAD
	Thank you, and thanks for coming to
	Captain Kidd.

Brad loosens his buccaneer scarf, and starts back
towards the kitchen. He is stopped by the sudden
appearance of Captain Kidd Assistant Manager,
Harold.

		HAROLD
	Hamilton! I'll take over the fryer.
	Those boys at IBM need some Catch
	of-the-Day boxes, and I told them
	you would personally deliver them
	within the hour. I'll reimburse you
	for gas.

Brad dutifully unhooks his apron, to reveal the
bottom half of his pirate suit.

		BRAD
	Just write me out a bill.

While Harold leans down to tally up the fish order,
Brad goes to a nearby employee's closet. He has
completely perfected the art of changing back into
his street clothes, and it takes less than a
minute. He is just about to finish buttoning his
street shirt when Harold sees him.

		HAROLD
	Hamilton, come over here. What is
	that you've got on?

		BRAD
	This is how I dress all the time.

		HAROLD
	But you took off your Captain Kidd
	uniform.

		BRAD
	I thought I'd take it off for the
	drive over to IBM. It's kind of
	uncomfortable.

Harold can barely fathom the idea.

		HAROLD
	Come on, Hamilton. You're going
	over there to represent Captain
	Kidd Fish and Chips. We have stores
	all over Southern California. Part
	of our image, part of our appeal is
	in our uniforms. You know that!

		BRAD
	You really want me to put all this
	stuff back on?

		HAROLD
	Yes. I think so. Show some pride,
	Hamilton.

ANGLE ON BRAD

as he stands there, stoic looking.

		BRAD
	I don't believe you're asking me to
	do this, but okay.

He begins taking off his street shirt. He looks at
Harold, looks at the boxes, and returns to the
closet.

INT. THE CRUISING VESSEL

Brad is driving down the freeway, listening to the
music of Bruce Springsteen's "Out in the Streets."
He pries open one of the fourteen Catch-of-the-Day
boxes on the seat next to him and pulls out a small
piece of fried fish. Brad takes a bite.
The look on his face says it is the worst piece of
shit he has ever tasted. He throws the piece out
the window, and drives on.

Brad turns to see a girl smiling at him from
another car. It makes his afternoon. He returns the
smile with gusto.

ANGLE ON THE GIRL

as she bursts out laughing and drives away.

ANGLE ON BRAD

looking perplexed. Then he realizes that he hasn't
taken his Ponce de Leon hat off. Brad drives on.

A SERIES OF ANGLES ON BRAD'S CAR

as we see the Cruising Vessel move down the
highway. We see the Captain Kidd hat go flying out
the window. Then the plastic sword, and the scarf.
Then a couple boxes of Captain Kidd fish. Then the
rest of them. We see Brad rip past the IBM
Building.

						DISSOLVE
						TO:

EXT. RIDGEMONT HIGH SCHOOL - AFTERNOON

School is out and kids are leaving campus, heading
for the parking lot and bus stop. We see Mike
Damone carrying some books, walking towards
Ridgemont Drive. He is joined by Stacy Hamilton,
who hurries to catch up to him.

		STACY
	I can't wait until I can drive next
	year. I walk every day. It's such a
	drag.

		DAMONE
	Get a ride with somebody.

		STACY
	Sometimes I get a ride with my
	brother. But he usually works in
	the mornings, and then drives to
	school himself.

		DAMONE
	What a guy.

Damone turns to her after a moment, all Attitude.

		DAMONE (CONT'D)
	You know Mark Ratner really likes
	you. You like him?

		STACY
	Mark is a really nice boy...

Stacy walks along, then stops and looks at Damone.

		STACY (CONT'D)
	But I think I like you.

They turn the corner.

EXT. HAMILTON HOME

They have arrived at Stacy's house. There are no
cars parked out front. No one is home.

		STACY
	Do you want to come in for a
	second?

The Attitude starts to weaken. After a long pause,
Damone responds.

		DAMONE
	Do you have any ice tea?

		STACY
	Sure. Come on in.

Stacy unlocks her front door, they go inside.

INT. HAMILTON KITCHEN

Damone stands in the white linoleum Hamilton
kitchen. Stacy opens the refrigerator door.

		STACY
	I guess the annuals are coming in
	pretty soon. Are you going to get
	one?

		DAMONE
	I don't know.

		STACY
	Aren't you curious to see how your
	class picture turned out?

		DAMONE
	I know what I look like.

Stacy places a glass of ice tea in front of him.
They are all alone in the house.

		STACY
	Do you want to take a quick swim?

		DAMONE
	Well...

		STACY
	Brad probably has some trunks you
	can borrow... I'm going to my room
	to change!

Damone stares straight ahead. She's going to her
room to change. Stacy scoots down the hall toward
her bedroom.

		DAMONE
	This is great ice tea!

INT. STACY'S ROOM - ANGLE ON STACY IN HER ROOM

In the middle of changing, she has caught her own
reflection in the mirror. She pauses a moment,
looking at the young girl looking back.

INT. KITCHEN - ANGLE ON DAMONE IN THE KITCHEN

He continues staring straight ahead.

		STACY
		(from other room)
	You don't have to shout! You can
	come back here to my room!

Damone doesn't move. He pretends he doesn't hear. A
moment later, Stacy comes bounding back down the
hall in her green bikini. She grabs Damone by the
arm.

		STACY
	Come with me! I know there's a suit
	in the changing room!

She pulls him away.

INT. THE CHANGING ROOM

They enter the wood-panelled changing room next to
the Hamilton pool. There are two swimsuits hanging
from wooden pegs.

		STACY
	Pick a suit.

		DAMONE
	I don't know. It's getting pretty
	late...

She locks the door to the changing room and begins
to walk towards Mike Damone.

		STACY
	Are you really a virgin?

		DAMONE
	Come on...

He could feel his leg starting to shake the
slightest bit.

		STACY
	It's okay if it's your first time.

She gives him a kiss.

		DAMONE
	Listen. I feel pretty strange here.
	Because Mark really likes you, and
	he's my friend.

		STACY
	He's my friend, too.

She gives him another kiss. He kisses her in
return. Standing there, feeling Stacy in her
bikini, feeling her kiss him, Damone also felt some
of his reservations slip away.

		DAMONE
	You're a really good kisser.

		STACY
	So are you.
		(pause)
	Are you shaking?

		DAMONE
		(shaking)
	No. Are you crazy?

It is clear that this is as far as Mr. Attitude has
ever gotten with a girl. Stacy takes the
initiative, rubbing her hands through his hair,
rubbing his sides, kissing his neck, then pulling
away.

		STACY
		(whispers)
	Why don't you take off your
	clothes, Mike?

		DAMONE
	You first.

		STACY
	How about both of us at the same
	time?

Damone nods, and watches as Stacy unhooks her top
and steps out of her bikini bottom. She stands
naked in the shadows of the afternoon sun. She sits
down naked on a red changing room couch, and
gathers her legs up to her chest. She watches as
Damone struggles with his clothes.

ANGLE ON DAMONE

hopping on one leg, pulling first out of his pants,
then his jockey underwear. Bashfully, he goes to
sit next to Stacy on the couch. They begin to kiss,
and it quickly escalates into heavy petting. Stacy
pulls away.

		STACY
	I want you to know that it's your
	final decision if we should
	continue or not.

		DAMONE
	Let's continue.

Stacy leans back and pulls him on top of her. He
enters her and begins pumping so hard, so fast,
that he doesn't notice he's banging the sofa into
the wall of the changing room.

But just as quickly as Damone starts, he stops.

		STACY
		(whispers)
	Hey, Mike?

		DAMONE
	What? Are you all right?

		STACY
	I think we're making a lot of
	noise.

		DAMONE
	I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

He has a strange look on his face.

		STACY
	What's wrong?

		DAMONE
	I think I came. Didn't you feel it?

		STACY
	I guess I did.

They lay there, Damone still on top of her on the
red couch.

ANGLE ON DAMONE

as we read the confusion on his face. He is
embarrassed, a little confused... mostly he just
wants to be alone.

		DAMONE
	I've got to get home. I've really
	got to go, Stacy.

ANGLE ON STACY

as she looks up at him. She gives him a kiss.
Damone gets up puts his pants and shirt on. He
leaves the changing room.

						DISSOLVE
						TO:

INT. BIOLOGY CLASS - AFTERNOON

We see Stacy sitting at her usual seat, and she's
wearing a bright spring dress with a slight amount
of makeup.
She looks at Damone's seat with anticipation, but
it remains empty as other students file in.
Finally, she turns to The Rat.

		STACY
	Where's Mike today?

		THE RAT
	Today's April 16th. Damone never
	comes to school on April 16th.

		STACY
	What's April 16th?

		THE RAT
	It's John Bonham's birthday.

		STACY
	John Bonham?

		THE RAT
	John Bonham. The drummer for Led
	Zeppelin. He died a couple years
	ago. Every birthday he stays home
	and plays everything John Bonham
	ever recorded. It's like his own
	holiday.

		STACY
	Oh. I see.

The bell rings, and Mr. Vargas enters the room with
his Sanka cup.

INT. COLLEGE COUNSELOR'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON

Seated at the desk is Mrs. O'Rourke. There is a
knock at the door.

The door swings open. Brad Hamilton holds out his
yellow slip.

		MRS. O'ROURKE
	Have a seat, Brad... Brad have you
	got your list of college
	applications?

		BRAD
	Well, to tell you the truth Mrs.
	O'Rourke, I've kind of been putting
	it off. I'm not sure what I want to
	do yet.

		MRS. O'ROURKE
		(by rote)
	All right Brad. Let me ask you like
	this. If I were queen of the world,
	and I could make you whatever you
	wanted to be, what would it be?

		BRAD
	I don't know... Burt Reynolds.

There is no humor on Mrs. O'Rourke's face.

		MRS. O'ROURKE
	I realize it's important to have
	fun in your senior year, with your
	friends, but there comes a time
	when you have to get serious about
	your future, think about college,
	and put aside all this fun.

Brad looks up suddenly.

		BRAD
	You know what, Mrs. O'Rourke? I
	broke up with my girlfriend this
	year. I lost my job at Carl's, and
	two other places. I wake up at 5:30
	to work at 7-11, then I go to
	school, then I go back to 7-11. I
	have to pay rent, you know. My
	grades haven't been that bad, and
	now you're telling me that the fun
	is over. Well, I'm still waiting
	for the fun to start.

		MRS. O'ROURKE
	Brad, I'll see you when I'm through
	with the rest of the seniors. If
	you want to visit the career
	office, go right ahead. I'll talk
	to you when you're more prepared.

Brad gathers his books and opens the door to leave.

		MRS. OIROURKE
	Next!

An absolutely exuberant Cindy Carr pops her head in
the door.

		CINDY
	Hi-yeeeeeeee!!!

						DISSOLVE
						TO:

EXT. RIDGEMONT HALLWAY - MORNING

The bell has just rung, and Mike Damone comes out
of Youth and Law class. He has an absorbed, driven
look on his face. He walks past the rows of
lockers, and doesn't even notice as he passes Stacy
Hamilton standing by her locker. She smiles, grabs
his arm affectionately.

		STACY
	Hi Mike!

Damone turns to see her, is thoroughly unimpressed.

		DAMONE
	Oh. Hi.

		STACY
	I didn't see you this morning.

		DAMONE
	Look, I'm kind of in a hurry.

		STACY
	I'm in a hurry too. I just thought
	I could say hi to you.

		DAMONE
	Hello.

He pulls away, leaving a bewildered Stacy standing
by her locker. She grabs some books and hurries in
the other direction.

EXT. SCHOOL BUS - DAY

The bus pulls up to the front entrance of
University Hospital. The students file out and
collect next to the front door. Mr. Vargas
gleefully addresses the class. This is his favorite
field trip.

		MR. VARGAS
	Today we're going to explore how
	this hospital works to preserve
	human life.
	We'll be visiting every floor,
	every level where these fine
	doctors and nurses take care of us,
	in life... and in death.

INT. MATERNITY WARD

The class exits from a hospital elevator, onto
another floor. They are now standing outside the
maternity ward. We hear the loud noise of babies.

		MR. VARGAS
	Over thirty children are delivered
	here each day...

The class moves on.

INT. THE BOTTOM FLOOR

The class exits another hospital elevator.

		MR. VARGAS
	This is part of your third quarter
	exam, and I'd advise you to take
	careful notes on what we're about
	to see.

ANGLE ON DR. MILLER

a young intern who has joined the class for the
last part of their tour.

		MR. VARGAS
	May I just ask you one last time to
	conduct yourselves with the utmost
	maturity...

The kids are beginning to get very nervous now as
they are led down the hall to the "Cold Room." The
door to the "Cold Room" has only one sign on it. It
reads: CADAVERS -- MEDICAL EXAMINATION ONLY. Mr.
Vargas opens the door, and the class seems to gasp.

INT. THE COLD ROOM

There are six examination tables in the "Cold
Room". Each of them contains a cadaver covered by a
white sheet. Mr. Vargas has gathered the class
around one table in particular. He fingers the edge
of the white sheet as he talks.

		MR. VARGAS
	As you know, all the bodies in this
	room are recently deceased human
	bio-structures.

A student raises his hand.

		MR. VARGAS
	Yes, Randy?

		RANDY
	Who are these guys?

		MR. VARGAS
	Most of them were derelicts, Randy.
	They sold the right for medical
	examination of their bodies for
	money. Something like thirty
	dollars, I believe. Isn't that
	right, Doctor Miller?

		DR. MILLER
	Twenty-five dollars.

ANGLE ON JEFF SPICOLI

who turns to Stacy.

		SPICOLI
	Twenty-five bucks is pretty good.

		MR. VARGAS
	Now this gentleman here is named
	Arthur. Arthur died from heart
	failure last week and we are
	fortunate enough to view his body
	in its pristine state.

Mr. Vargas suddenly pulls the white sheet aside and
we see the body of Arthur. The students' eyes
widen. Some gasp. Others cover their mouths. Others
begin furious notes. Nobody speaks. The body of
Arthur is smallish and withered. It is orange,
flaky, and not quite real looking. A deep cut has
been made in Arthur's chest.

Mr. Vargas bends Arthur upright for a better
student view. He gestures to the deep cut made in
Arthur's chest.

The tension mounts.

		MR. VARGAS (CONT'D)
	This incision allows us to pull
	aside the skin covering of the
	chest cavity and really observe the
	human organs as they exist in their
	natural state.

ANGLE ON ARTHUR

and his shrunken face, which seems to say please
don't.

		MR. VARGAS (CONT'D)
	I want all of you to take a look at
	the chest cavity for just a moment.

Mr. Vargas grabs the two sides of Arthur's chest
cavity covering, and rips it open.

		MR. VARGAS (CONT'D)
	Here we have the human lungs and
	heart, which you can see is
	actually located in the center of
	your chest.

With a squish, Mr. Vargas reaches inside Arthur and
pulls out the human heart for display. The class
stands in silent shock. Only one comment escapes
from any of them.

		SPICOLI
	Bitchin'.

ANGLE ON STACY HAMILTON

who goes running out of the "Cold Room", holding
her mouth. The Rat runs after her.

INT. BOTTOM FLOOR HALL

Rat and Stacy sit side-by-side on some orange
plastic chairs, by a nurse's desk. Stacy is shook
up.

		STACY
	I made a fool of myself.

		THE RAT
	Nobody noticed. Don't worry about
	it. We'll just stay out here until
	everyone comes out, we'll blend
	back in.

		STACY
	What about the notes?

		THE RAT
	I'll get you the notes.

She squeezes his arm.

EXT. HOSPITAL - AFTERNOON

The students file out of the hospital, looking like
they've just been through a war.

INT. LINDA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

It is night, and Linda and Stacy are watching
Fantasy Island.

		MONTALBAN
	You see, Tatoo, what this man
	doesn't realize is that he must one
	day leave Fantasy Island. And he
	must continue his life as an
	incurable leper.

Stacy is fighting back tears. Linda looks angry.

Telephone rings. Linda jumps to get it.

		LINDA
	Hello.

Linda obviously is disappointed when she hears a
female voice.

		LINDA (CONT'D)
	Yeah... you're kidding... What did
	he say... What did you say... How
	much did it cost? Look, tell him he
	can have a relationship with you or
	a 'more open' relationship with
	someone else... Listen, Debbie, can
	I call you later. I'm waiting for
	Doug to call.

She plops back on the couch with Stacy.

		LINDA (CONT'D)
	I'll bet he forgets to call again.

She notices that Stacy is crying over the TV show.

		LINDA (CONT'D)
	God, Stacy, it's not that sad. It's
	just David Soul and Ricardo
	Montalban.

		STACY
	I don't know, I'm just so
	depressed. Everything is just so...
	depressing.

Linda shuts off the television.

		LINDA
	You have been acting very strange
	the last few weeks.

		STACY
	I don't know... I just don't feel
	right.

Linda sits down next to Stacy on the bed.

		LINDA
	What do you think it is?

		STACY
	What do you think it is?

		LINDA
	It couldn't be.

		STACY
	It could be. I had a pregnancy test
	at the clinic. I'll find out
	Monday. I guess it was Damone.

		LINDA
	Of course it was Damone. If it was
	Ron Johnson, you'd be out to here!

		STACY
	I'm not going to tell him. He's an
	asshole. I hate him.

		LINDA
	But it costs money to have an
	abortion. Even at the Free Clinic.
	You tell Damone to pay for it. It's
	the least he can do. It's the guy's
	responsibility too.

She puts the TV back on and they watch.

		STACY
	You know, there's one thing you
	didn't tell me about guys.

		LINDA
	What?

		STACY
	You didn't tell me that they can be
	so nice, so great... but then you
	sleep with them and they start
	acting like they're five years old.

		LINDA
	You're right. I didn't tell you
	that.

EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - TWO DAYS LATER

Stacy Hamilton is walking towards Mike Damone on
the football field. We see him from a distance,
timing track runners.

		DAMONE
	What's going on?

		STACY
	Mike, there's something that's been
	on my mind and I have to tell you
	about it.

		DAMONE
	What? Now?

He clicks off the time on a runner, and then turns
to face her.

		DAMONE (CONT'D)
	Why don't you call me up tonight?

		STACY
	Mike. I want you to know that I'm
	pregnant.

ANGLE ON STACY

as she looks down. They are words she never thought
she would be speaking.

		DAMONE
	How do you know it's mine? We only
	did it once.

		STACY
	I know it's yours.

ANGLE ON DAMONE

as he realizes she is sincere, and he truly begins
to panic.

		DAMONE
	You made me do it! You locked the
	door. You made me do it! You wanted
	it more than me!

ANGLE ON STACY

She does not flinch.

		STACY
	Take that back.

		DAMONE
	All right, I take it back.

ANGLE ON DAMONE

He hugs his arms tighter across his chest, and
decides to try a more mature tact.

		DAMONE (CONT'D)
	There's only one thing we can do.
	We've got to get rid of it. We've
	got to get an abortion.

		STACY
	We've got to get an abortion?

		DAMONE
	Yeah. My brother Art got his
	girlfriend one once.

		STACY
	It's already planned, Mike. It's
	going to cost $150 at the Free
	Clinic.

		DAMONE
	Doesn't sound free to me.
		(pause)
	So you want me to pay for it?

		STACY
	Half. Okay?
		(bites back tears)
	Seventy-five dollars. And a ride to
	the clinic.

		DAMONE
	Seventy-five dollars, and a ride.
	Okay.

Stacy stands there, hands folded, nodding.

						DISSOLVE
						TO:

INT. DAMONE'S ROOM - AFTERNOON

He is working at his desk, counting through a wad
of money.

ANGLE ON THE LIST

in front of him, which has a split line down the
middle. People Who Owe Me -- fifteen dollars Rick.
People I Owe -seventy-five dollars REO Speedwagon
tickets, seventy-five dollars abortion. Damone
counts fifteen dollars into his stack, crosses out
Rick. Then he counts through the money. Seventy
five dollars exactly. He crosses out REO Speedwagon
tickets. This leaves him no money for the abortion.

EXT. STREET CORNER - AFTERNOON

Here, at the same corner where she once waited for
Ron Johnson, Stacy waits for Damone. Cars pass, no
Damone.

INT. HAMILTON HOUSE - AFTERNOON

Stacy is on the phone, calling Damone. We see the
phone messages sheet that lists two calls for
Stacy, and none for Brad. The line rings four
times, then it's answered.

		FEMALE VOICE
	Hello?

		STACY
	Hello... is Mike there?

		FEMALE VOICE
	Hold on.

Stacy sags, disbelieving, and looks at the clock on
the kitchen wall. It's getting late...

		FEMALE VOICE (CONT'D)
	He says he's helping his father in
	the garage and he'll call you back.

Stacy is stunned.

		FEMALE VOICE (CONT'D)
	Hello?

Stacy hangs up. She punches out another number,
quickly.

		MRS. BARRETT (V.O.)
	Hello?

		STACY
	Hi, Mrs. Barrett. Is Linda there?

		MRS. BARRETT (V.O.)
	She went off to the beach. She'll
	be back later, though.

		STACY
	Okay. Thanks.

She looks at the clock again, then hears a noise in
the driveway.

		STACY (CONT'D)
	Brad! Hey, wait a second!

She runs out.

EXT. CRUISING VESSEL - AFTERNOON

Brad and Stacy pull up next to the flea market.

		STACY
	Yeah. This is it. I have some
	shopping to do.

		BRAD
	See you later.

		STACY
	Thanks a lot, Brad. I really
	appreciate it.

She gets out of the car.

EXT. FLEA MARKET

Stacy Hamilton watches her brother drive away. Then
she looks to both sides, and walks on. She passes
the entrance to the Flea Market. She walks around
the corner to another building marked BIRTH CONTROL
- FREE CLINIC. Brad follows her in the rearview
mirror.

INT. BIRTH CONTROL CLINIC

Stacy is lying in bed wearing a paper dress. Her
hair is stuffed in paper shower cap. She looks
anxious. In a bed next to her an older girl is
being affectionate with her visiting boyfriend.

A Nurse comes in with an IV.

		NURSE
	This is going to prick a little.

She sticks the needle into Stacy's hand. Stacy
looks pained but doesn't yell. The Nurse pats the
rolling bed.

		NURSE (CONT'D)
	Now scoot over here.

Stacy moves onto it. Looking up from her point of
view, we see the ride out of the room and into:

INT. OPERATING ROOM

Stacy gets wheeled in. The Doctor looks down at
her.

		DOCTOR
	Hello, Stacy, I'm Doctor Bartell.

Stacy moves onto the operating table as the Nurse
and Doctor get ready.

		DOCTOR (CONT'D)
	Any questions before we begin?

		STACY
	This is going to hurt, isn't it?

		DOCTOR
	We'll use a local but you'll feel
	some pressure. It doesn't last that
	long.

		STACY
	Does it hurt more to have a baby?

The Doctor pauses and considers her question.

		DOCTOR
	Yes... but I think you mind it
	less.

Stacy looks up at the lights and listens to the
sound of suction tubes.

INT. B.C. WAITING AREA

The other girl and Stacy sit at a table eating
toast and jelly. The girl is reading. The Nurse
enters.

		NURSE
	How are we doing in here? Debbie,
	ready to leave?

The girl nods and gets up.

		NURSE (CONT'D)
	Right through here. Stacy, I can't
	let you go unless you have a ride
	home.

		STACY
	Uh, my boyfriend said held be
	waiting downstairs.

The Nurse studies her, decides she's telling the
truth and allows her to leave.

EXT. ENTRANCE TO THE FREE CLINIC

Stacy walks back out into the sunlight, slowly and
weakly. She is surprised and amazed at who she sees
standing outside, waiting for her.

ANGLE ON BRAD HAMILTON

He stands, hands on hips, just outside the door.

		STACY
	Brad!

He puts an arm around her and leads her toward his
waiting car.

		BRAD
	Since when do you shop at the Flea
	Market anyway?

		STACY
	Brad. Please don't tell Mom and
	Dad...

He helps her into the cruising vessel. He starts up
the car and drives off.

		BRAD
	Who did it?

Stacy stares out the window. Tears well in her
eyes.

		BRAD (CONT'D)
	You're not going to tell me, are
	you?

		STACY
	No.

		BRAD
	All right, then. It's your secret.

Stacy smiles at Brad. Brad smiles back. The car
drives on.

INT. LINDA'S ROOM - NIGHT

Stacy is in Linda's room, sitting on her bed. Her
eyes are red and moist from crying. Linda listens
to her story.

		STACY
	I really thought he would show up.
	I waited... and waited... and
	waited...

		LINDA
	That little prick.

		STACY
	Then I called his house, and his
	mother told me he was in the garage
	helping his father.

		LINDA
	That little prick.

		STACY
	I paid for it and everything.

		LINDA
	There goes your stereo for another
	year. Mike Damone is a no-brain
	little prick. I'm not letting him
	get away with this.

		STACY
	Don't do anything, Linda. I'd
	rather just forget about it. I
	don't even like the guy.

		LINDA
	Stacy, he's not a guy.
		(loud)
	He's a little prick!

Stacy lies back on the bed.

EXT. DAMONE HOUSE - MORNING

The front door to the Damone house opens, and out
walks Mike Damone carrying some books. He looks
troubled, burdened, and stares down at the walkway
as he moves towards his car. He walks around,
starts to pen the car door, then he sees it. There,
in white spray paint across the driver's door, is
the message: PRICK.

		DAMONE
	Shhhhhhhhhit.

He looks both ways, and starts back towards the
house.

EXT. DAMONE CAR

Mike Damone travels down Ridgemont Drive, making
the turn into the school parking lot. There is a
large cardboard panel taped on the side of his car.

EXT. DAMONE'S LOCKER

He arrives at his locker, where, in white spray
paint, there is another message: LITTLE PRICK.
Several girls walk by, they laugh knowingly.

		GIRL #1
	Hi, Mike!

		GIRL #2
	Hi, mike!

Damone backs up against the locker, with a sick
smile on his face.

		DAMONE
	Hi... girls.

More students pass, looking strangely at the young
man pinned against his own locker.

EXT. BOY'S LOCKER ROOM - AFTERNOON

Damone exits the boys locker room. Just as he does,
he is accosted by The Rat. We have never quite
heard this tone in The Rat's voice before.

		THE RAT
	Damone? What happened between you
	and Stacy?

Damone feigns The Attitude, shakes his head. Damone
sighs.

		DAMONE
	Let me tell you something, Rat.
	Sometimes girls just go haywire. It
	was a month ago, I've been trying
	to think of a way to tell you ever
	since. We started messing around
	and...
		(shrugs)
	... something happened. It's all
	over with. It's no big deal. I
	never called her again.

The Rat says nothing.

		DAMONE (CONT'D)
	If you ask me, she's pretty
	aggressive. You understand what I'm
	saying?

		THE RAT
	No Damone. I don't understand.

		DAMONE
	She wasn't really your girlfriend
	anyway.

		THE RAT
	Hey fuck you Damone. There's a lot
	of girls out there and you mess
	around with Stacy. What have you
	got to prove?

		DAMONE
	Jesus. I'm sorry.

		THE RAT
	I always stick up for you. Whenever
	people say 'Aw, that Damone is a
	loudmouth' -- and they say that a
	lot -- I say 'You just don't know
	Damone.' When someone says you're
	an idiot, I tell them 'Damone's not
	an idiot. You just don't know him.'
	Well, you know, Damone, maybe they
	do know you pretty good. And I'm
	just finding out.

		DAMONE
	Fine. Get lost.

Damone starts to push past him, but The Rat shoves
his shoulder hard.

		DAMONE (CONT'D)
	All right, Rat. You want to do
	something about it?

Damone begins the classic high school fighting
ritual. He throws his books down. He takes a step
back. He goes into a crouch. He gestures towards
himself. Then Damone says the universally
recognized high school fighting words.

		DAMONE (CONT'D)
	Well come on.

The Rat shows no fear. As other kids begin to crowd
around the two boys, Rat throws his own books down.
He takes a step back, goes into the crouch. He
gestures toward himself.

		THE RAT
	You come on.

They stand there, gesturing, neither one of them
wanting to make the first move.

		DAMONE
	No. You come on, you wuss.

Assistant Coach Mr. Sexton comes running out of the
boy's locker room, and steps in front of the two
boys.

		SEXTON
	Hey! Knock this crap off!!

The Rat stalks off, disappearing into the crowd of
onlookers.

						DISSOLVE
						TO:

EXT. RIDGEMONT DRIVE - NIGHT

The Ridgemont Drive strip is filled with cars,
cruising for parties. There is a lot of honking,
and yelling out windows. Everyone is headed towards
the beach. We stay on a lowly 7-11 store near the
freeway entrance.

EXT. 7-11 STORE - NIGHT

A yellow Firebird slowly, menacingly cruises the
empty parking lot. It does not stop.

Then, around the corner, walks Jeff Spicoli. We see
him in the neon 7-11 light, his hands stuffed deep
into the pockets of baggy jeans. He walks inside
the store. He is the only shopper.

INT. 7-11 STORE

Brad Hamilton stands behind the counter in a red
and white striped shirt and cap, making fresh
coffee. Jeff Spicoli trudges up to the counter. He
looks at Brad. Brad looks at Spicoli. There is an
unspoken edge between them.

		SPICOLI
	Hey, mon, can I use the bathroom?

Brad squints his eyes, looks at the sign on the
back room door.

ANGLE ON

sign which reads: Rest Room For Employees Only.

		BRAD
	Go ahead. Just make it quick.

		SPICOLI
	Totally.

		BRAD
	It's the first door on your left.

Spicoli disappears into the back room. Brad sighs,
looks at the clock. It reads: 11:15. Then he hears
Spicoli from the back room.

		SPICOLI (O.S.)
	I can't find it, mon!

		BRAD
	It's the first door on your left!

		SPICOLI (O.S.)
	On the ledge?

		BRAD
	First door on your left!

		SPICOLI (O.S.)
	There it is!

Brad sighs again. He loads a new filter into the
coffee maker.

EXT./INT. 7-11 STORE

A moment later, the yellow Firebird pulls into the
7-11 parking lot. A man in a windbreaker comes
hurtling out of the car, into the store. He spray
paints the scanning camera above the door. He
hustles up to the counter, produces a .45 Magnum
and points it chest high at Brad. There is a glazed
and nervous speedy edge to his voice.

		ROBBER
	I want money. And I want it all --
	now.

Brad looks pale and young under the fluorescent 7
11 light.

He speaks slowly.

		BRAD
	They empty and close the big safe
	here at midnight.

		ROBBER
		(getting tougher)
	I know this store. I know where the
	safe is.

He bangs the gun on the counter, hard.

		ROBBER (CONT'D)
	Over there behind the donut case.
	Now move!

Brad slowly moves to the donut case, like a zombie.

		BRAD
	I'm instructed to tell you that we
	are on a video alarm system and
	there are other hidden cameras in
	the store ...

		ROBBER
	Just give me the money. Move it.

		BRAD
	Okay.
		(legs are shaking)
	I just started here, and they just
	taught me the procedure. I'll give
	you the money, just let me figure
	this out.

		ROBBER
		(very menacing)
	Move it. Move it.

Brad opens the phony back of the donut case and
fiddles with the strongbox combination.

		ROBBER (CONT'D)
		(more menacing)
	Let's go, stupid.

Brad looks at the gunman.

		BRAD
	You motherfucker. Get off my
	fuckin' case.

The Robber is about to react when the bathroom door
opens and Jeff Spicoli starts out, wiping his hands
on his pants.

		SPICOLI
	No towels, mon...

The Robber turns to look at Spicoli, and that is
all that Brad Hamilton needs. Just like it is the
most natural thing in the world, Brad reaches for
the hot, steaming coffee pot he has just made and
throws it into the gunman's face and hands.

		ROBBER
	Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr!!!

The .45 falls out of his hand and rattles to the
floor. The gunman is still grabbing his face, and
looking at his skinless hands in horror when Brad
snaps up the gun. In the parking lot, the gunman's
accomplice, poised behind the wheel of the yellow
Firebird, spots the foul-up and screeches out of
the parking lot.

		BRAD
	There goes your ride home.

Brad pulls the under-counter alarm with newfound
confidence. Jeff Spicoli stands there, mesmerized
at the entire event.

		SPICOLI
	Awesome. Totally awesome.

EXT. RIDGEMONT MALL - NIGHT

Kids are pouring into the Ridgemont mall. Summer
banners are already up.

INT. THE MALL - NIGHT

In the midst of all the kids and shoppers, we see
The Rat walking slowly down the promenade. He is
wearing an Army surplus jacket, and his hands are
buried deep in his pockets.

Two girls pass his way. One smiles briefly at him,
and The Rat turns to watch her pass. He is about to
say something to her, then no. He walks on, sees
Swenson's Ice-Cream Parlor up ahead. The Rat
decides to walk the other way.

INT. SWENSON'S - NIGHT

The place is busy again, filled with shoppers and
teenagers in summer-type clothing.

We see Stacy Hamilton, once again, at the cash
register wearing an Assistant manager name tag and
a hostess gown.
She handles a customer's bill, then stands there a
moment, looking glum. Linda Barrett approaches.

		STACY
	Another summer of working at
	Swenson's.

		LINDA
	Come on. There's lots of men around
	here. Keep your eyes open.

		STACY
	You know, Linda. I've finally
	figured it out. It's not sex I
	want. Anyone can have sex.

		LINDA
	What do you want?

		STACY
	I want romance.

		LINDA
	Romance in Ridgemont? We don't even
	get cable TV.

ANGLE ON

the back kitchen door, which swings open, and out
comes Mike Damone in a peppermint Swenson's shirt.
He wipes some grime on his pants.

		STACY
	Mike! You have a mess on C-9!

		DAMONE
	All right. All right. I just
	cleaned B-8. Give me a break.

		STACY
	Get going.

The two girls smile, go back to their posts.

INT. JEFF SPICOLI'S ROOM - NIGHT

Jeff Spicoli sits in his room, and it is his
castle. Clothes lie in disarray on the floor. A
huge half-waxed surfboard is propped against the
window. We see Spicoli dressed in a too large white
short-sleeved shirt, attempting to tie his father's
fat paisley tie. He stops to take a hit from his
bong, all the while talking on the phone. The music
of Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Freebird" plays on the radio.

		SPICOLI
	I... am... so... wasted, mon. What
	is in this shit?
		(pause)
	Doesn't that stuff cause brain
	damage?
		(pause)
	Bitchin'.

Spicoli listens for a moment. He rubs his eyes,
shakes his head. He is really buzzed.

		SPICOLI (CONT'D)
	Hey, mon, I am going to Mexico as
	soon as school is out. Two more
	weeks, bud. Week from Wednesday.
		(pause)
	I am gonna take both boards, my
	duck feet, many cases of beer, and
	just jam.
		(pause)
	No, mon, from school. I'm leaving
	as soon as school gets out. I'll be
	at Sunset Cliffs by nighttime.
		(pause)
	Totally.
		(pause)
	Later.

Spicoli hangs up, and concentrates on tying his
tie. He almost strangles himself. Then suddenly the
door to his room flies open and Spicoli's little
brother Curtis bursts in.

		CURTIS
	Jeff you have company!

		SPICOLI
	Go away, Curtis. If you can't
	knock, I can't hear you.

Curtis slams the door and leaves. A moment later
there is a knock.

		SPICOLI (CONT'D)
	That's better. Come in.

The door swings open and Jeff Spicoli sits in
stoned shock at the sight before him. There,
standing in the doorway of his room is Mr. Hand.

		SPICOLI (CONT'D)
	Mr... Mr. Hand.

		MR. HAND
	That's right, Jeff. Mind if I come
	in?

Spicoli can only nod.

		MR. HAND (CONT'D)
		(calling downstairs)
	Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Spicoli.

Hand walks into Spicoli's room, takes off his suit
jacket and lays it on the chair back. He stops a
moment and catches the stare of Miss January
Penthouse on the wall, then turns to Spicoli.

		MR. HAND (CONT'D)
	Were you going somewhere tonight,
	Jeff?

		SPICOLI
	Yeah. The Graduation Dance Mr.
	Hand. It's the last school event of
	the year.

		MR. HAND
	I'm afraid we've got some things to
	discuss here, Jeff.

		SPICOLI
	Did I do something wrong, Mr. Hand?

Hand removes several copies of Oui Magazine from
another chair and sits down. He sets his briefcase
on Spicoli's dresser, next to a bag of pot, and
opens it up for easy access.

		MR. HAND
	Do you want to sit there, Jeff?

		SPICOLI
	I don't know. I guess so.

		MR. HAND
	Fine. You sit right here on your
	bed. I'll use the chair here.
		(pause)
	As I explained to your parents just
	a moment ago, and to you many times
	since the very beginning of the
	school year -- I don't like to
	spend my time waiting for late
	students, or detention cases. I'd
	rather be preparing the lesson.

Mr. Hand takes a sheet from his briefcase and looks
at it.

		MR. HAND (CONT'D)
	According to my calculations, Mr.
	Spicoli, you wasted a total of
	eight hours of my time this year.
	And rest assured that is a kind
	estimate.

He returns the sheet to his case and looks into
Spicoli's weed-ravaged eyes.

		MR. HAND (CONT'D)
	Now, Mr. Spicoli, comes a rare
	moment for me. Now I have the
	unique pleasure of squaring our
	account. Tonight, you and I are
	going to talk in great detail about
	the Davis Agreement, all the
	associated treaties, and the
	American Revolution in particular.
	Now if you can just turn to Chapter
	47 of Lord of Truth And Liberty.

		SPICOLI
	Hey, it's in my locker, Mr. Hand.

		MR. HAND
	Well, then, I'm glad I remembered
	to bring an extra copy just for
	you.

Hand reaches in his case and produces the book. He
hands it to Spicoli.

						DISSOLVE
						TO:

INT. SPICOLI'S ROOM - HOURS LATER

Wearily, Spicoli is trying to grasp the material.

		SPICOLI
	... so, like, when Jefferson went
	before the people what he was
	saying was 'Hey, we left this place
	in England because it was bogus,
	and if we don't come up with some
	cool rules ourself, we'll be bogus,
	too!' Right?

ANGLE ON MR. HAND

who nods his head.

		MR. HAND
	Very close, Jeff.

Hand reaches over and gets his case.

		MR. HAND (CONT'D)
	I think I've made my point with you
	tonight.

		SPICOLI
	Hey, Mr. Hand, can I ask you a
	question?

		MR. HAND
	What's that?

		SPICOLI
	Do you have a guy like me every
	year? A guy to... I don't know,
	make a show of. Teach other kids
	lessons and stuff?

		MR. HAND
	Well, you'll find out next year.

		SPICOLI
		(smiling)
	No way, mon. When I graduate U.S.
	history I ain't even coming over to
	your side of the building.

		MR. HAND
	If you graduate.

		SPICOLI
		(panicked)
	You're gonna flunk me?!

Mr. Hand pauses a moment, then breaks into the
nearest approximation of a grin we have seen all
year. It isn't much, but it's noticeable. His lips
crinkle at the ends.

		MR. HAND
	Don't worry, Spicoli. You'll
	probably squeak by.

		SPICOLI
	All right! Oh, yeah!

Mr. Hand has now gathered all his material, and he
stands to approach Spicoli's door. Jeff jumps up,
extends his hand.

		SPICOLI (CONT'D)
	Aloha, Mr. Hand!

		MR. HAND
	Aloha, Spicoli.

Mr. Hand exits the room, and descends the staircase
of the Spicoli household. Spicoli kicks the door
shut, grins, and continues struggling with his tie.

INT. RIDGEMONT GYMNASIUM - NIGHT

Tight angle on the emotion-filled face of the lead
singer in a cheesy high school band called the T
Birds. He is bathed in a blue light, singing the
last verse of The Eagles' 'Take It To The Limit'.

We pull back to reveal a large, clumsy banner
reading: LAST DANCE. Students are pouring into the
gym for this event. Many have brought their annual
yearbooks. On stage, the lead singer snaps his
fingers and the band goes into Nick Lowe's 'Heart
of the City'. Some students start to dance.

Every one of our characters is either here, or
about to arrive. From Charles Jefferson to Spicoli
to Mr. Hand. For once, all classes are partying
together. But, just as in the beginning of the year
on lunch court, the kids are still cordoned off
into their distinctive cliques.

ANGLE ON MORE STUDENTS ARRIVING

at the Last Dance. They see Mr. Hand signing
annuals by the door. They all say the same thing as
they pass, "Aloha, Mr. Hand". He nods in return.

ANGLE ON STACY

surveying the growing mob of annual-crazed
students. From behind her comes Linda Barrett in a
low-cut black dress.

		STACY
	Where's Doug?

		LINDA
	He's not coming.

		STACY
	Not coming? What happened?

		LINDA
	He says he's got to stay in
	Chicago.
		(sighs)
	He says I should visit him
	sometimes.

		STACY
	Sometime?

		LINDA
	Yeah, like maybe never.

		STACY
	But what are you going to do?

		LINDA
	Well I might go to Dartmouth.

		STACY
	Dartmouth?!

		LINDA
	I didn't tell anyone I applied
	cause I never thought I'd make it.

		STACY
	I can't believe it! But what about
	Doug?

		LINDA (STOIC)
	There's a world of guys out there.
	I just wish I didn't have to date
	any of them.

		STACY
	Hey -- Doug Stallworth? It's his
	loss.

ANGLE ON MIKE DAMONE

in another part of the dance, by the Junior class
sponsored food counter. Damone is standing, talking
to several girls, gesturing and being Damone, Mr.
Attitude.

		DAMONE
	Sign my annual, honey.

The girls look at each other, laugh. They walk
away.

ANGLE ON THE RAT

standing nearby.

		THE RAT
	You're losing it, Damone.

		DAMONE
	You're crazy. Those girls love me.

ANGLE ON JEFF SPICOLI

sprawled out in the bleachers with his surfer
stoner buddies. He turns to one admiring stoner
(Todd).

		SPICOLI
	Hey, mon. Sign my annual.

Spicoli slips the annual into the kid's crotch. The
stoner winces in pain, but still opens the book and
lingers on all the signings in Spicoli's annual.
They are all drug-related messages from fellow
stoners. After a moment, Spicoli's friend signs:
"Thanks for the reds. Todd."

		TODD
	Hey, mon, good thing we're going to
	Mexico this summer. 'Cause you're
	gonna get kicked out of your house
	when your parents read your annual.

INT. GYMNASIUM - ANGLE ON DOOR

Brad Hamilton pushes both doors open, and makes his
entrance into the Last Dance. There is a lot of
activity going on, but all nearby eyes turn to Brad
as he walks into the dance. Fifteen kids
immediately gravitate towards him. They all want
Brad to sign their annuals, to talk about the 7-11
incident. Onstage, the T-Birds play the Beatles'
"It Won't Be Long".

We see Brad's old girlfriend Lisa push up to him.
Her new jock boyfriend holds a protective arm
around her.

		LISA
	I saw your picture in the paper.
	You had the greatest look on your
	face!

		ANOTHER STUDENT
	Front of the Metro Section. I'm
	telling my parents, 'I know this
	guy, I know this guy.'

Lisa's boyfriend pulls his arm tighter around her.

		LISA
	Will you sign my annual, Brad?

Brad smiles, nods. He signs, and gives her his. We
then see Brad's three Buddies from Carl's Jr. come
up, pat him on the back and grab his shoulder. Brad
studies them warily.

		BUDDY #1
	Fuckin' manager of 7-11!

		BUDDY #2
	Get us jobs over there, Brad! You
	can do it!

		BRAD
	Since when do you guys want to work
	at 7-11?

		BUDDY #2
	Come on, Brad! It would be great!
	All of us together!

		BRAD
	Well, 7-11 is a tremendous
	operation. It's really changed,
	man. They've got great food, great
	magazines, videogames... it's
	class. Total class.

		BUDDY #3
	As soon as you can get us in there,
	we're gone from Carl's, Brad.

		BUDDY #2
	Yeah, man, all the little punks
	from junior high have taken over
	the place.

Brad leaves his old buddies. He grins and notices
someone across the crowded dance floor.

		BRAD
	Hey, Thompson! Wendell! Get a job!

They laugh, flip him off. Brad is back in his
element at last. He moves into the main dancing
area, works his way across the room, past the
bleachers, when he hears a voice.

		SPICOLI (O.S.)
	Hamilton!

Brad turns around, seen Spicoli sitting on the
bottom rung of the bleachers. Spicoli looks back
with true respect.

		SPICOLI (CONT'D)
	Awesome.

He throws Brad his annual. Brad gives him his. They
sign.

		SPICOLI (CONT'D)
	Easy, mon.

		BRAD
	Later.

ANGLE ON THE BLEACHERS

where several couples are passionately making out.
Four teachers clomp up into the stands from
different angles. They pin the couples in
flashlight beams, like the main tower pinning an
escaping prisoner.

ANGLE ON THE T-BIRDS

onstage, singing the Rolling Stones' "I'm Free".

EXT. GYNMASIUM - NIGHT

We see Jeff Spicoli leave the dance and come
backing down the stairs with a stoner bud. His fist
is in the air.

		SPICOLI
	Summer, mon! We're there!

He turns to his stoner bud.

		SPICOLI (CONT'D)
	Let's roll, my man.

Spicoli backs right into a young buzz-cut kid.

		SPICOLI (CONT'D)
	Hey, bud! Watch yourselff

Spicoli turns around to see he's backed into a
squad of eight Lincoln Surf Nazis. They are all
standing on the steps, waiting.

		SURF NAZI
	Are you Jeff Spicoli?

Spicoli looks up and down the row of Surf Nazis. On
the end, he sees L.C.

		L.C.
	That's him! He did it!

		SPICOLI
	Hey, mon, I don't know what your
	trip is, but...

Spicoli dashes off down Luna Street. L.C. and the
Surf Nazis take out in hot pursuit, chasing him
through the parking lot, past Ridgemont High, and
into the night. They will never catch him.

						SLOW
						DISSOLVE:

INT. RIDGEMONT MALL

School is out and it's summer business as usual at
the Ridgemont Mall. We see the same stores, the
same packs of kids roaming the three tiers.

ANGLE ON MARK RATNER

who stands against the railing in his Cinema Four
jacket, gazing across the mall at Swenson's Ice
Cream Parlor. He sees Stacy walk two girlfriends to
the outdoor front tables, and almost look his way.
The Rat turns away suddenly. Then he hears her
calling out after him.

		STACY
	Hey Mark! Turn around!

Ratner turns around, affects total and complete
cool. He waves across the mall to her.

		STACY (CONT'D)
	Come over here!

He looks back at his post at the theatre, decides
it's okay to step away. He walks across the mall.

INT. SWENSON'S

Stacy is standing by the sundae bar. Next to her
are two empty stools. After a moment, we see The
Rat plop onto one of the metal stools. He pounds
the seat next to him with the palm of his hand.

		THE RAT
	You. Sit.

Stacy turns to look at him, smiles. She sits.

		STACY
	Hi, Mark.

		THE RAT
	Hi, Stacy. How are you?

		STACY
	I'm fine. Mark, I'm so glad you
	came over here because I want you
	to know something. I just thought I
	would tell you that I really
	enjoyed getting to know you this
	year.

The Rat maintains The Attitude.

		THE RAT
	Yeah? About fifty people I didn't
	know wrote that in my annual.

		STACY
	I know everybody says it, but I
	really mean it.

The Rat looks at her from the corner of his eyes.

		THE RAT
	Really?

		STACY
	Yeah. I want you to have this
	picture, so you won't forget what I
	look like. And so you'll remember
	to call me over the summer.

She withdraws a picture from her pocket, hands it
to The Rat.

		THE RAT
	Well, I don't know, I may be doing
	some traveling this summer. I don't
	know how much I'll be around...
		(breaks down, takes
		picture)
	But I'll give you a call sometime.

		STACY
	I'd like that.

She gives him a kiss on the mouth, gets up and
walks away. The Rat sits there, smiling at the way
things sometimes turn out. He slips the picture
into his pocket, a satisfied young man.

INT./EXT. SWENSON'S AND MALL

The Rat is joined by Mike Damone, who has changed
into his street clothes.

		DAMONE
	She wants it, Rat.

The Rat snickers, shakes his head.

		DAMONE (CONT'D)
	I saw you. You had pure Attitude.

The Rat turns to look at his friend.

		THE RAT
	The Attitude, Damone, is only good
	until you meet the right girl.

		DAMONE
	Whatever you say, Rat.

They take off together, blending into the crowd of
kids walking the mall.

		THE RAT
	And... you can only tell it's the
	right girl if you're sensitive.

		DAMONE
	Sensitive -- what is that?

		THE RAT
	Sensitive is when you can tell how
	people feel without asking.

		DAMONE
	So what makes you so sensitive?

		THE RAT
	Well, for one, I read. I don't
	watch as much television as you.
	I'm trying to feel things more. I'm
	learning a lot about people.

		DAMONE
	What do you read? What's the last
	book you read?

		THE RAT
	Lust For Life. It's the story of
	Vincent Van Gough.

		DAMONE
		(scoffs)
	Yeah, well, I saw the movie. That
	must mean I'm sensitive too.

		THE RAT
	It's a way, Damone. It's a vibe. I
	put it out, and I have personally
	found that girls do respond.

Damone laughs, shoves him hard. We lose sight of
the two boys in the sea of kids.

A SERIES OF ANGLES

of Ridgemont Center Mall with music.

CREDITS

						FADE TO BLACK

		  THE END