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Galaxy Quest (1999)

by David Howard, Robert Gordon.
Final draft, 5/04/99.

More info about this movie on IMDb.com


FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY


1	EXT. OUTER SPACE

The vastness of space.  Suddenly a hole in the sky opens with a 
flash and a SPACESHIP rumbles into view.  ON its hull the letters 
NSEA PROTECTOR.  Magnificent, though on closer inspection it 
shudders ever so slightly, denoting pre-CGI model work on a 
budget.  We're watching a TV show. 

LAREDO (V.0.)
We're exiting the time knot now sir!

2.	INT. NSEA PROTECTOR COMMAND DECK - SPACE

5 Members of the crew of the NSEA PROTECTOR sit in the large 
circa - 1979-"high-tech" cabin.  All of them human except for DR. 
LAZARUS, a purple reptilian-looking alien. LAREDO is 9.  The 
crewmates exchange relieved smiles.

FRED
We're alive.

LAREDO
We made it  Commander, we made it!

LAZARUS (THE ALIEN)
By Grabthar's hammer, we live to tell the tale.

COMPUTER (0.S.)
Systems register functional. 

GWEN
All systems are working, Commander. Commander?

They all turn to look at THE COMMANDER, who turns to reveal 
himself dramatically. Good looking. His acting is classic 
Charlton Heston take-no-prisoners style. He looks around the 
command deck, worried, almost sniffing the air.

COMMANDER
I don't like it.  It was too easy...  Look for ambient energy 
fields. 

LAREDO
All normal sir... The entire spectrum.

COMMANDER
Check again Laredo.

LAREDO
Yes sir, I- Wait.  Oh no.

His radar lights up with dots. First a few, then HUNDREDS.

LAREDO
They're everywhere.  There are time knots opening everywhere.  

LAZARUS
IMPACT NOW Commander

Suddenly an EXPLOSION rocks the ship.

GWEN
A trap.

LAZARUS.
We're surrounded Commander. The entire 5k Ranking is out there.

COMMANDER
Our plasma armor?

LAREDO
Gone sir.

Another BLAST rocks the room.

COMPUTER (O.S.)
Structural damage at 68 percent.

GWEN
We're getting major structural damage.

FRED
It's a core meltdown sir. It can't be stopped

The Commander turns to his advisor, Lazarus.

LAZARUS
Commander, surrender may be our only option.

COMMANDER
No, never give up... NEVER surrender.'

GWEN
The reactor has eaten through four levels... Six levels... The 
ship is disintegrating

LAREDO
Your orders sir?...  Sir, your orders?

The Commander walks into close up; Steely determination.

COMMANDER
Activate the Omega 13.

The crewmates exchange expectant and terrified glances. CLOSE UP 
of a crewman's hand as he operates a series controls which in 
turn opens five layers of mechanical locks revealing a serious 
looking lever. The Commander pulls that lever. A MACHINE Is 
revealed, rising from the floor in the middle of the room.  It 
begins to GLOW. Cut to each actor in turn reacting dramatically. 
Then suddenly.. THE  PICTURE GOES WHITE, LEADER LEADER NUMBERS 
APPEAR, with a STUDIO COPYRIGHT notice.

CUT TO:

3	HUNDREDS OF FACES


ENTHRALLED LEGIONS of mostly spotty faced male adolescent FANS 
staring into camera.  For a moment all is silent.  A few are 
sobbing. Then a BURST OF THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE...  We're at a 
SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION.  The enthusiastic crowd of FANS 
continue cheering as the master of ceremonies GUY takes the 
stage.

GUY
Well, there you are! You are the first people to see the lost 
GALAXY QUEST episode 52 two parter since it was originally aired 
in '82!  As most of you know, no concluding episode was filmed 
when the series was cancelled, so one episode was never included 
in the syndication run. Let's hear it for Travis Latke, who 
actually rescued the footage from the studio garbage!  Can you 
believe that?
(Latke stands, fans cheer)
Now for the moment you've all been waiting for... The intrepid 
crew of the
NSEA PROTECTOR!

But a STAGEHAND in the wings signals for Guy to "stretch."

GUY
But first... What is a "hero"?  Let's take a look at a few more 
clips...

4	BACKSTAGE

Here we meet the REAL LIFE ACTORS all dressed as their TV alter 
egos... GWEN DEMARCO, beautiful, in a sexy and improbable body 
suit.  ALEXANDER DANE,  (DR. LAZARUS) wearing green alien 
prosthetic makeup. FRED KWAN, calm, sitting on an
apple box reading the paper. TOMMY "LAREDO" WEBBER, the youngest 
of the group.

TOMMY
Where the hell is he?  An hour and a half late.  An hour and a 
half!

GWEN
(looks through curtain) 
This is great!  They're going to start eating each other out 
there.

ALEXANDER (OFFSCREEN) 
He's a twit!

TOMMY
Oh, and did you hear he booked another fan appearance without us?

GWEN
You're kidding. When for?

TOMMY
Tomorrow morning, before the store opening.

ALEXANDER (OFFSCREEN)
He's a miserable twit!

GWEN
The guy is terminally selfish!

FRED
He ate my sandwich.

GWEN AND TOMMY 
What?

FRED
A month ago, he ate my sandwich.

TOMMY
And he ate Fred's SANDWICH!

Gwen turns to notice Alexander staring into a makeup mirror, eyes 
roaming over his alien green makeup and scaly rubber features 
with a mournful expression.

GWEN
Oh Alex, get away from that thing...

ALEXANDER
Dear God.... How did I come to this?

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

TOMMY
Not again...

ALEXANDER
I played Richard III...

FRED
"Five curtain calls...

ALEXANDER
...Five curtain calls! I was an ACTOR once, damn it. Now look at 
me... LOOK AT ME.

TOMMY
Settle down, Alex...

ALEXANDER
No. I can't go out there! I won't say that ridiculous catch 
phrase one more time. I won't.  I can't!

GWEN
At least you had a PART. You had a character people loved!  My TV 
Guide interview was six paragraphs about this body suit.  About 
my legs.  How did I perfect my trademark sidesaddle pose? Nobody 
ever bothered to ask what I DO on the ship...

FRED
You were the, uh... Wait I'll think of it...

GWEN
I repeated the computer.  "It's getting hotter, Commander!" "The 
ship is disintegrating, Commander!"  Nothing I did EVER affected 
the plot, not ONCE! Nothing I did was ever taken seriously!

TOMMY
Excuse me.  I'm an African American playing a nine year old 
Malaysian named Laredo.  HELLO!

Suddenly the rear stage doors open and JASON NESMITH ("The 
Commander") strolls in, all exuberance and charm.

JASON
My friends, your Commander has arrived!... Am I too late for 
Alexander's panic attack?...(looks at Alex)  Apparently so.  
(inspects a mole on Alex's neck)  That's irregular, you should 
have it looked at.  (looks at Fred's paper)  Lakers are HOT.  
Speaking of which... Gwen, you look spectacular.
(they all glare at him)
Oh, what did I do now?

5	CONVENTION STAGE   On the stage, Guy continues to stall...

GUY
... Sure, the rocks looked hollow and the sets moved when anyone 
humped into them... But we didn't care...

FILM CLIPS are projected behind him: On an alien planet THE 
Commander carries the LIMP BODY OF HIS ADVISOR, LAZARUS, ray guns 
erupting around him... On the command deck the crew fights a 
space battle with crack precision TEAMWORK...

GUY (CONTINUED)
....For those four seasons from '79 to '82 we the viewers 
developed the same affection for the crew of the NSEA PROTECTOR 
that the crew had for each other... These weren't just 
adventurers exploring space, these were friends...

6	BACKSTAGE - The others surround JASON, fighting.

TOMMY
You said we do appearances together, or not at all.'

JASON
I didn't say that.  I said "wouldn't it be great if we could 
always, work together." That's what I said.

GWEN
Unbelievable.

TOMMY
You are so full of shit

JASON
A few fans built a little set in their garage.  .  I come in for 
an hour at most. It's a nothing.

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

GWEN
How much of a nothing? Not enough to split five ways kind of a 
nothing?

JASON
What do you want me to say, Gwen?... They wanted the Commander.

Suddenly bright light streams in. They all turn to see ALEXANDER 
skulking out the exit.  A beat, then they all run to catch 
Alexander, TACKLING HIM.

7	ONSTAGE - 

Guy gets a thumbs up cue from a stagehand and begins to introduce 
the cast, to the delight of the applauding FANS.

GUY
Okay, here we go... Let's hear a warm welcome for crack 
gunner/navigator. Laredo, Tommy Webber!

Tommy comes bounding out with a big smile, his hair mussed. 
Behind him is a film clip of young LAREDO in action.

TOMMY (FILM CLIP) AS LAREDO
"If it's got quantum rockets, I can fly
it."

GUY
Ship's Tech Sergeant Chen... Fred Kwan!

Fred strolls out with a casual wave.

FRED AS CHEN
"Give me a stick of gum and a hairpin and we re on our way!"

8	BACKSTAGE - 

Gwen and Jason are wrestling on the ground with Alexander.

GWEN
Alex you can't -just leave.

ALEXANDER
Oh can't I? Watch me!

JASON
Come on, old friend...

ALEXANDER
Friend. You stole all my best lines.  You cut me out of episode 
two entirely!..

GUY (O.S. FROM THE STAGE)
The beautiful shipmate Tawny Madison... GWEN DEMARCO!

9	ONSTAGE - 

Gwen takes the stage noticeably ruffled.  In the film clip, Tawny 
Madison looks around the cabin fearfully.

COMPUTER
One hundred degrees and rising...

GWEN AS TAWNY ~~~ISON
"It's... It's getting hotter, Commander.'"

Many "appreciative" WHISTLES. Gwen forces a smile.

GUY
And now... The Commander's advisor and closest friend. His 
peaceful nature ever at odds with the savage warrior inside him, 
after witnessing the massacre of his entire species as a boy...

We see a splitscreen shot of Alexander, one mild mannered, the 
other a savage beast of vengeance, tearing into a foe.

10	BACKSTAGE - Jason still in a wrestling match with 
Alexander.

JASON
You WILL go out there.

ALEXANDER
I won't and nothing you say-

JASON
"The show must go on."

ALEXANDER
...Damn you!  Damn you!

GUY (cont'd) (O.S.) 
"Dr. Lazarus of Tev'meck"... Alexander Dane

11	ON STAGE - 

Alex bounds up on stage, bowing deep with grace and humility.  
The stage trained British actor.

ALEX AS LAZARUS ONSCREEN
"By Grabthar's hammer, you shall be avenged.'"

Alex cringes, desperately unhappy

GUY
And finally, my fellow Questarians, the brave Commander of the 
NSEA PROTECTOR... Peter Quincy Taggart ... JASON NESMITH.

Jason appears and a SPOTLIGHT follows him.

TOMMY
Unbelievable.  He rented a SPOT?

Jason raises his fist encouraging the FANS to cry out...

JASON/JASON ON SCREEN/EVERYONE 
"NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER... DAMN THE RESONANCE CANNONS, 
FULL SPEED AHEAD.'"

The fans go crazy. The actors exchange glances.

GUY
The Commander and his crew will be signing autographs on imperial 
decks "b" and "c" near the coke machines.

12	CONVENTION HALLWAY

It's quiet.  We're on FOUR PAIRS OF BOOTS walking down the 
hallway.  We PAN UP to reveal FIVE SERIOUS LOOKING YOUNG PEOPLE, 
4 men and a woman, clean cut as Disneyland employees and 
impeccably outfitted in GALAXY QUEST style uniforms. Something 
odd about them you can't quite put your finger on.. For now we'll 
refer to them as THE PECULIAR FANS.

13	CONVENTION HALL

We move with the PECULIAR FANS as they enter the bustling 
convention floor, making their way past the numerous FANS dressed 
as their favorite GALAXY QUEST characters... through the various 
booths selling GALAXY QUEST and other Si-fi memorabilia, catching 
snippets of conversation along the way:  They pass two 
ELABORATELY COSTUMED ALIEN FANS talking.

ALIEN
...Yeah, I used to De Gark'nor of Ang but I got a rash from the 
chest pads so now I'm Sacnod from episode 5, which is fine except 
the transducer pinches when I sit down...

... They pass a group of particularly EARNEST FANS at a vendor's 
booth, also costumed as the five GALAXY QUEST leads. Their 
leader, BRANDON WHEEGER, inspects a seller's model of the 
DEFENDER, contemptuously.

BRANDON
The tail fin is concave, not convex.  The proton reactor is where 
the influx thermistors should be and.. my god... is this Testor's 
blue green number six on the hull?
(drops the model roughly)
I... I... This is a complete abortion. 

With curious glances to this similarly uniformed group, the 
PECULIAR FANS move past, then come to a halt as they spot JASON, 
up on a raised platform at the front of the hall signing 
autographs for a long line of fans. The peculiar fans stare at 
Jason as to they were in the presence of God.  They exchange 
astonished smiles, then start toward him...

THE CAST TABLE

Tommy, Alexander and Fred sign autographs at a row of tables near 
Jason, but significantly lower than his perch.

TOMMY
Is it me or does his table get higher every convention?

One of many fans dressed as "Dr. Lazarus" steps up to Alexander 
and salutes him with crossed fists.

FAN
"By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Warvan, I shall avenge 
you!"

Alexander ignores this, grabs the photo from his hand, signs it, 
thrusts it back.  The next fan steps up.

FAN
"By Grabthar's hammer, by the-"

He signs and thrusts it back before he can even finish.
 
ALEXANDER
Next!

Guy (the MC) approaches the actors at their tables.

GUY
Hi everybody.

TOMMY
Hey. Thanks for one nice intro... uh.

GUY
Guy... You probably don't remember me do you? (They stare 
blankly)  I was on the show in '82.  Episode 31?  Got killed by 
the lava monster before the first commercial?  "Crewman #6?"

The actors pretend that they remember him.  "oh, right! Guy!"

GUY
Listen, I was wondering, would you guys mind if I sit in today? 
See if anybody's interested in an autograph? Never know.

GWEN
Sure, Guy, If you can stand the excitement.

Two more FANS dressed as Alexander's character approach him, 
proudly CHATTERING at him in the Mak'tar language.

ALEXANDER
Don't make me get a restraining order.

ACROSS THE ROOM

THE PECULIAR FANS are making their way through the crowd toward 
Jason. We suddenly notice something very strange; THE LEFT HAND 
of the tallest one is flickering between a normal hand and A HAND 
WITH SEVEN LONG BLUE TENTACLES FOR FINGERS. The LEADER notices 
and motions to the afflicted man who raps sharply against a metal 
blinking box on his belt. The hand becomes normal again. He looks 
up, nods at the leader. From now on we'll refer to these 5 as THE 
ALIENS.

AT THE CAST TABLE - Guy now sits with the others, forlorn. No 
fans are in line for his autograph. He watches as Fred fields 
questions from the group or fans led by BRANDON.

BRANDON
Mr. Kwan?  In episode nineteen, when the reactor fused, you used 
an element from Leopold Six to fix the quantum rockets.  What was 
that called?

FRED
Bivrakium.

BRANDON
The blue sheath it was encased in-?

FRED
A bi-thermal krevlite housing.

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

Brandon makes a note, thanks him and exits with his group.

GUY
How do you remember this stuff?

FRED
Oh I make it up. Use lots of "k"s and "v"s.

A male FAN moves up to Gwen, hands her a picture to sign.

FAN
I'm a big fan Ms. Demarco.

Gwen looks at the photo, nonplussed.

GWEN
You really expect me to sign a naked picture of myself? This 
isn't even my body!

FAN
Yeah, normally with fakes it's like, recycle bin. But.. This 
one's really good.
(Gwen sighs, starts to sign) 
Could you not write over the... Thanks.

A fan finally approaches Guy who looks up eagerly. The fan looks 
at him quizzically, trying to place him.

GUY
Episode 12. (gets no reaction) Killed by the lava monster?..

FAN
(turns to Tommy) 
Laredo, could I get an autograph?

Guy shrugs, disappointed. Gwen gives him a comforting look, then 
looks across at

JASON ON HIS PERCH

Talking dramatically to a group of fans. A YOUNG BOY watches WIDE 
EYED.

JASON
... on one hand, if I had moved an inch, the beast would have 
killed me. On the other hand, my crew was in danger...

YOUNG BOY
How did you know what to do?

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

JASON
Without a crew, I'm not a Commander.

He pulls down on the kid's cap.

JASON
And we all know what happened to that beast on Enok 7...

The fans make happy nerdy "we sure do" noises.

CASTMEMBERS TABLE

Gwen shakes her head appreciatively.

GWEN
You gotta admit, they do love him.

TOMMY
Almost as much as he loves himself.

They watch as Jason fields another question from a fan.

JASON
I'm glad you asked... To me the most important qualities of a 
Galaxy Explorer are loyalty...

ALEXANDER
... to camera center no matter whose shot you're blocking...

JASON
Leadership....

TOMMY
... to make sure craft service keeps those little butter cookies, 
and plenty of them-

JASON
And determination.

GWEN
... to playing scenes shirtless because the ladies do love 
Commander furry.

Gwen, Alex and the others try to contain their laughter.

CLOSER ANGLE - JASON'S TABLE

Bored with the constant queries of his fans, Jason glances over 
to see Gwen smiling at him. She quickly looks away, self-

4/28/99	(YELLOW)

conscious.  Jason doesn't even take his eyes off Gwen as BRANDON 
steps forward, his brow knit with serious matters.

BRANDON
Commander, please settle a dispute that my crew and I are having. 
In "The Quasar Dilemma", the Sentient had taken control of the 
ship's guidance systems, however-

JASON
Excuse me guys.

Jason exits. Brandon turns to his friends, frustrated.

BRANDON
I hadn't even gotten to the relevant conundrum...

THE CAST TABLE - Gwen answers a question from a shy GIRL.

GIRL
Miss Demarco?... In episode 15, "Mist of Delos 5?" I got the 
feeling you and the Commander kind of had a thing in the swamp 
when you were stranded together.  Did you?

GWEN
The Commander and I NEVER had a thing.

JASON (O.S.) 
That's her story.

Gwen looks up to see Jason.  The girl giggles and exits. Jason 
smiles at Gwen.

GWEN
What?

JASON
You smiled at me.

Rolling her eves Gwen rises and walks off. Undaunted, Jason 
follows, but runs into the five ALIENS. Their leader MATHESAR 
bows respectfully, then follows along as Jason pursues Gwen.

MATHESAR
Commander, I must speak to you. It is a matter of supreme 
importance... We are Thermians from the Klatu Nebula, and we 
require your help. I beseech you to come with us, back to our 
ship. A great many lives hang in the balance...

4/26/99	(PINK)

JASON
Right, If this is about the thing tomorrow you can hammer out the 
details with my agent, but make sure I have a limo from my house, 
they jammed me into a Toyota the last time I did one of these

MATHESAR
I... certainly, but-

JASON
Catch me later, okay?

Jason catches up to Gwen.  He spins her around dramatically.

JASON
"Crewman Madison, I.. I'm sorry. Whatever I do next I have no 
control over.  It's the mist on this strange planet, It's filling 
my head with such thoughts....

He leans in for a tortured kiss... Some fans gather, delighted by 
the impromptu show.  But Gwen steps aside.

GWEN
It was cute when I didn't know you.

She exits. Jason tries to pretend that doesn't hurt.

CONVENTION FLOOR

Jason moves forward, introspective, amidst the enthusiastic fans. 
They all shout out questions and comments to him... But Jason 
pushes past without response and takes refuge in the-

14	MEN'S ROOM

Jason enters to witness the incongruous sight of four MANK'NAR 
beasts at the urinals taking a MANK'NAR piss.  Jason enters a 
stall and sits on the lid, trying to get a moment to think. But 
two CYNICALIC 20-SOMETHINGS enter, laughing their assess off.  He 
can hear their voices echo from the other side.

CYNICAL GUY 1
You're right. What a FREAK SHOW. This is fricking HILARIOUS.

CYNICAL GUY 2
Yeah, what a bunch of losers. And those poor actors. They've 
done, like, WHAT for twenty years?  I think Fred Kwan did a dog 
food commercial... Sad.

5/4/99 	(GOLDENROD)

CYNICAL GUY 1
Did you hear Nesmith up there?  That's the saddest. I think he 
actually gets off on these nerds thinking he's space Commander. 
It's pathetic.  And his friends...

CYNICAL GUY 2
... they HATE him.  I know, did you hear them ragging on him?!!  
"Commander furry!..."

CYNICAL GUY 1
He has no idea that he's a laughingstock... Even to his buddies.

They exit, their laughter ringing in Jason's ears.

15	CONVENTION FLOOR - JASON'S TABLE

Jason is back at his table signing autographs in a foul mood. He 
scribbles his name irritably, avoiding contact with the fans as 
BRANDON and his group of aficionados approach him.

BRANDON
Commander, as I was saying... In "The Quasar Dilemma", you used 
the auxiliary of deck b for Gamma override. But online blueprints 
indicate deck b is independent of the guidance matrix, so we were 
wondering where the error lies?

JASON
It's a television show. Okay? That's all. It's just a bunch of 
fake sets, and wooden props, do you understand?

BRANDON
Yes but, we were wondering-

JASON
There IS no quantum flux and there Is no auxiliary... There's no 
goddamn ship  Do you get it?

Jason notices that all eyes are turned on him. The hall has 
become deathly quiet.  Jason rises abruptly and exits through the 
hall. Brandon and the fans do their best not to take this 
personally.

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

15A	INT. GWEN'S HOUSE

Gwen is cooking something intricate and delicious as she talks to 
Alex on the phone.  Her house is tasteful and bright on a budget.

GWEN
I don't know, Alex, he's never gone quite this far before...

15B	INT. ALEXANDER'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Alexander sits at his kitchen table, applying spirit gum remover 
to the edges of his alien head appliance.

ALEXANDER
I've said for years he's mentally unstable.

He stands and moves to the refrigerator. Nothing but a hunk of 
very rank cheese which he sniffs disdainfully.

ALEXANDER
Oh good, there's nothing to eat.

GWEN
Why didn't you stop at the market?

ALEXANDER
(re his alien cap) 
I still haven't got this bloody thing off.

GWEN
You could order something in.

ALEXANDER
A boy comes to the door.

GWEN
(a beat, back to Jason...)
I don't know... It just wasn't like him.

ALEXANDER
Yes, poor Jason. As we speak he's probably out somewhere talking 
rubbish to a roomful of hangers-on. While here I sit eating 
Christmas cheese in Spring.

16	INT. JASON'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Jason sits on the edge of the bed staring at the TV, sipping 
scotch, flipping channels.  He stops at the conclusion of an

4/26/99	(PINK) 

episode of GALAXY QUEST. As Commander Taggart makes a heroic 
speech. Jason mouths the words along with his alterego.

COMMANDER TAGGART (ON TV)
As long as there is injustice, whenever a Targathian baby cries 
out, wherever a distress signal sounds among the stars... We'll 
be there.  This fine ship, and this fine crew... Never give up!  
Never surrender!

We pan back to the bed... Jason has passed out, body twisted face 
down in a pillow.

17	INT. JASON'S BEDROOM - NEXT MORNING

Jason sleeps, hungover, dead to the world.  His DOORBELL RINGS. 
He barely moves. Every Indication is that he's dead.  More 
ringing. He stirs enough to groan, and drags a pillow over his 
head.  The ringing continues....

18	EXT. JASON'S HOUSE

Jason opens the door in his robe, drooping bloodshot eyes, squint 
of a headache...  There before him are THE ALIENS dressed in 
their perfect GALAXY QUEST attire. Jason stares at them, bleary 
eyed. With earnest respectful faces, the five salute him in the 
classic "GALAXY QUEST" style. Jason shuts the door in their face.  
DING DONG: The door opens again.

JASON
WHAT. DO. YOU. WANT?!

The leader, Mathesar, steps forward. Speaks quickly.

MATHESAR
Sir, I understand this is a terrible breach of protocol, but 
please, I beg you to hear our plea. We are Thermians from the 
Klatu Nebula.  Our people are being systematically hunted and 
slaughtered by Roth'h'ar Sarris of Fatu-Krey. Sarris wants the 
Omega 13. We are to meet in negotiation. However our past efforts 
in this regard have been nothing short of disastrous. The flames, 
the death...
(he quickly gathers himself)
Please Captain, you are our last hope.
(a beat)
We have secured a limousine.

JASON
Oh, right! The thing with the thing. Come on in, I'll get some 
pants on.

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

19	INT. JASON'S HOUSE

The four aliens stand on one side of the room. Jason, mostly 
dressed, hunts under his couch for something.

MATHESAR
Commander, standing here in your presence is the greatest honor 
we could ever have hoped to achieve in our lifetimes.

Mostly all they can see of Jason at the moment is his butt.

JASON
Thanks, appreciate it... Anybody seen my other shoe?

20	INT. LINCOLN LIMO

Jason sits in back with Mathesar and the others, half-awake.

NERU
Sir, I am Neru, senior requisition officer. Before we travel to 
the ship, please let me know if you have any requirements. 
Weapons, documents, personnel...

JASON
I could use a Coke.

One of the aliens nods to the other who makes a note.

TEB
Sir, I am Teb. I would like to explain the history between our 
people and the Sarris Dominion in greater detail. In the 5 
million years following the great nebula burst our people were 
one...

JASON
What about him? Doesn't he talk?

TEB
His translator is broken.

The fourth alien says something, but it comes out a weird mix of 
sounds. Like a screaming baby inside a bagpipe.

JASON
Okey doke... So, listen, I had a late night with a Kreemorian 
Fangor Beast, so
(MORE)

4/26/99	(PINK)

JASON (cont'd)
I'm going to shut my eyes for a bit. But go on, I'm listening to 
every word...

Jason is asleep before Teb gets the next sentence out.

21	INT. RECEIVING QUARTERS - PROTECTOR II

Jason is shaken softly by the shoulders. He opens his eyes to see 
a young female CREWMAN, LALIARI. We hear a low RUMBLE.

LALIARI
I am sorry to wake you sir, but your presence is requested on the 
command deck.

Jason tries to reorient himself as she leads him forward.

22	INT. HALLWAY - THE PROTECTOR II

Laliari escorts Jason down the high tech hallway.  Jason looks 
around, still holding his can of Coke.

LALIARI
Sir, Sarris has moved the deadline. We are approaching his ship 
at the Ni-delta now. He wants an answer to his proposal. I 
understand you have been briefed.

JASON
Yeah, I got most of it in the car. He's the bad guy, right?

LALIARI
Yes sir he is a very bad man indeed. He has tortured our 
scientists, put us to work in the gallium arsenide mines, 
captured our females for his own demented purposes...

JASON
Okay I've got the picture. You have pages or do you want me to 
just go for it?

LALIARI
I m not sure I...

JASON (cont'd)
Script pages.  Never mind, let's see what old Sarris has to say 
for himself.

Mathesar approaches with other CREWMEMBERS.

4/26/99	(PINK)

MATHESAR
Commander... Welcome to the Protector II.  Would you like to don 
your uniform?

JASON
Mind If we skip that?  I have to get back pretty quick for this 
thing in Van Nuys.

MATHESAR
As you wish.

Another ALIEN comes running up out of breath.

EXCITED ALIEN Sir... It's Sarris.  He's here.

23	INT. COMMAND DECK

A door slides OPEN and Jason and the others enter the COMMAND 
DECK.... It's straight out of the TV show. Blinking lights, 
consoles, the cool old tech displays... But a bit dark. Jason 
looks around, genuinely impressed, still wearing his glasses.

JASON
Not bad. Usually it's painted cardboard boxes in a garage.

They lead him to the Commander's chair.  He sits.

TEB
Sir, we apologize for operating in low power mode, but we are 
experiencing a reflective flux field this close to the galactic 
axis.

JASON
No problem. This thing have a cup holder?

EXCITED ALIEN
(hands Jason a clipboard)
The situational analysis, Commander. 

JASON
What's your name?

EXCITED ALIEN
(perplexed)
...Glath sir. 

Jason signs his autograph and hands it back. "There you go."

NAVIGATOR
We're approaching in five ticks, sir.  Command to slow?

Jason looks toward the front window/view screen.  Stars move past 
in a familiar display. 

JASON
Sure, set the screen saver on two. 
(the NAVIGATOR looks confused)
Sorry. Sorry. Didn't mean to break  he mood. Slow to Mark 2, 
lieutenant.

A SHIP appears on the screen, growing closer.  It is a MENACING 
craft, sharp and jagged, with a gargoyle shaped figurehead. Then 
the VIEWSCREEN fuzzes to life with an image of... SARRIS - He's 
ugly and green hued. Black sharp teeth. A metal hand... He 
hisses... There is a beat as the aliens take in the sight, trying 
to well their courage.

SARRIS
I see fear. That is expected. 
(his voice RESONATES)
Ah, they bring a new Commander... Such a cowardly species. Not 
even your own kind... No matter.  Here are my demands, and I 
would suggest, Commander, that you think well before speaking a 
word, because these negotiations are... tender.. and if I do not 
like what I hear there will be blood and pain as you cannot 
imagine...

Jason takes a sip of coke and checks his watch. 

SARRIS
First, I require the Omega 13... Second-

JASON
(blasť, like a laundry list)
Okey dokey, let's fire blue particle cannons full. Fire red 
particle cannons full. Fire gannet magnets left and right. Fire 
pulse catapults from all chutes. And throw this thing at him too, 
killer.

He hands the GUNNER the empty coke can, then before even waiting 
for the weapons to reach their target... ...he exits!

24	HALLWAY

Jason emerges and looks both ways trying to get his bearings. 
Several of the aliens chase after him as he enters the

4/26/99	(PINK)

corridor, exchanging stunned dances, trying to absorb the 
magnitude of what just happened.

MATHESAR
Commander?... Where are you... going?

JASON
Home.

MATHESAR
You... You mean Earth?

JASON
Yeah. "Earth." Time to get back to "Earth," kids.

He turns a corner.  Jason is oblivious to the muffled sounds of 
explosions, traces of the demolition going on outside.

MATHESAR
But Commander... The negotiation... You... You... You fired on 
him.

JASON
Right. Long live... What's your planet?

MATHESAR
Theramin.

JASON
Long live Theramini.  Take a left here?

MATHESAR
But what if Sarris survives?

JASON
Oh, I don't think so. I gave him both barrels.

MATHESAR
He has a very powerful ship. Perhaps you would like to wait to 
see the results of-

JASON
I would but I am REALLY running late and the 134's a parking lot 
after 2:00.  But listen, the guy gives you any more trouble, just 
give a call...

Mathesar produces a walkie talkie device for Jason.

MATHESAR
An interstellar vox.

4/26/99	(PINK)

JASON
Thanks

Mathesar looks him in the eye. A TEAR starts down his cheek.  He 
HUGS Jason, then shakes his hand sincerely.

MATHESAR
How can we thank you, Commander. You- You have saved our people.

JASON
It was a lot of fun. You kids are great.

The others shake his hand, thanking him as they enter the...

25	INTERSTELLAR POD ROOM

A room with a very high circular ceiling. The aliens continue 
thanking Jason as they lead him to the center of the room. Jason 
realizes he's left all alone in this strange room with no visible 
doors. Jason is suddenly aware that he is standing on a GLOWING 
RED DISK.

JASON
Wait. Where's the car?

Suddenly a CLEAR CYLINDER rises from the disk and conforms around 
him, ENCASING~ HIM IN A CLEAR BULLET SHAPED CONTAINER. There is 
only an instant to register surprise as the ceiling divides and 
an AWE INDUCING ROTATING STARFIELD is revealed... The WALLS pull 
back around him.  And Jason finds himself surrounded by THE 
INFINITE VASTNESS OF SPACE. And his face is a MASK OF HORROR In 
the split instant as Jason in his pod is ROCKETED FORWARD INTO 
SPACE.

26	BLACK - [JASON'S YARD]

We pull back slowly from the iris of Jason's eye. He is now 
standing on the red disk in the middle of his own back yard. He 
stands there in shock, TEETH CHATTERING, SHIVERING IN WAVES AND 
WAVES from the incomprehension of what he's just experienced, 
unable to move from the snot.

27	NT. BRANDON'S GARAGE - TARZANA - DUSK

Crickets chirp.  Inside the open garage of a suburban house sits 
BRANDON and his friends in their uniforms, surrounded by a 
homemade space ship interior constructed of painted cardboard 
boxes and Christmas lights. Brandon and his friends look very 
disappointed... The Commander never showed.

28	EXT. COMPUTER STORE PARKING LIT - MORNING

Gwen, Alexander, Tommy, Fred and Guy perform for the store's 
grand opening.  A small crowd is gathered, including Brandon and 
his gang, inspecting a mock up of the PROTECTOR.

GWEN
Take it from us... We've been all over the universe.

FRED
But we've never seen the space age values we've seen here .....

TOMMY
TechCo electronics superstore

Alexander pauses, deeply ashamed. Gwen nudges him.

ALEXANDER
By Grabthar's hammer, what a savings.

A few balloons are released into the air.

28A	COMPUTER STORE - LATER

The actors hand out pamphlets and sign the occasional autograph. 
Fred pats Alexander's back, who stares ahead, morose.  Around the 
corner, JASON appears, looking around with a disoriented yet 
exhilarated twinkle in his eye.. He spots his friends and starts 
quickly toward the cast table but runs smack into the group of 
FANS led by Brandon. Brandon and Jason go down, along with an 
armful of GALAXY QUEST collectables.

BRANDON
Commander!...  My apologies.

Brandon is nudged by his friend KYLE.

BRANDON
Commander... Evidently we had miscommunication regarding 
yesterday's scheduled voyage, and-

But Jason, still in a haze, simply gathers his things and walks 
off.  The other nerds look at Brandon.

KYLE
He dissed us AGAIN, Brandon!

BRANDON
(hiding his disappointment)
He probably... Has some very important business to attend to...

HOLLISTER
(just letting off steam)
Maybe we should just start a Star Trek club! 

The others turn, silent, incredulous. Brandon looks at Hollister 
with hard, cold eyes.  Pacino's scene with Fredo.

BRANDON
Don't EVER say that to me again.

He walks away. The others stare at Hollister.

28B	ACTORS' TABLE

The actors look up to see JASON approaching.

ALEXANDER
Do you know what time it is? Why did you even bother to show up?

Jason has so much to say he can't get out a word.  Gwen notices 
his wrinkled slept-in clothing, and wild eyes.

GWEN
Jason... Are you all right?

Jason POINTS to the sky, grasping for words.

JASON
I was there. (a beat) Up.  There...
(intense)
They came to the convention. I thought they were fans, but 
they're not. They took me up to their ship. They're called 
Thermians or Thatians, I don't know.  I was a little hungover...
(actors exchange glances)
What they built... It's incredible  I fought this man, this... 
THING... called Sarris.  I kicked his ASS... They have these... 
pods.  One took me THROUGH a black hole.
(crazy smile.  The others stare)
I know.  I know what you're thinking.  But I can prove it.  Look!  
They gave me this!

5/4/99 	(GOLDENROD)

He searches his pockets frantically and produces the interstellar 
vox. The thing blinks its little red light. He motions 
victoriously. The others exchange glances, then produce their own 
blinking voxes and set them on the table.

JASON
Yes, but can you talk to people in SPACE on yours? (into Vox:) 
Protector this is the Commander. Come in protector...

The others exchange glances. Alexander turns to Gwen.

ALEXANDER
God, what an ass.

JASON
COME IN PROTECTOR... PROTECTOR...

Tommy rolls up his sleeve ready for a fight.

TOMMY
That's it, It's go time.

GWEN
Don't do it, Tommy. He's not worth it.

Jason notices a label on his vox that reads "Property of Brandon 
Wheeger."  He looks around for Brandon.

JASON
This isn't mine. Wait, where is that kid?...

GWEN
You know it's one thing to treat us this way, but how can you do 
this to your fans?...

Jason looks up and sees the young woman we recognize as Thermian 
LALIARI. She's flanked by two young crewmen.

LALIARI
Begging your pardon, Commander, we come with news.  Sarris lives. 
He was able upon your departure to make an escape. However he has 
contacted us, and wishes to surrender. We humbly implore you to 
return with us, to negotiate the terms.

Jason looks at Laliari, then turns back to the others, his 
experience twinkling in his eyes.

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

JASON
They want me back... I... I want you all to come.  You have to 
come with me. It'll be the most amazing experience of your lives.  
We1re going to negotiate an alien general's SURRENDER in SPACE.  
You have to- Guys?  GUYS?...

They have begun to walk away, one by one, in disgust.  Only Gwen 
remains.  She looks at Jason.

JASON
Gwen, you know me. I'm a lot of things but I'm not crazy.

But Gwen shakes her head and walks off.

28C	INT. ELECTRONICS STORE SHIPPING WAREHOUSE NEAR DOCK

Jason inspects himself In a mirror.  He meticulously smoothes his 
Commander's Insignia, fastens a stray buckle, carefully picks a 
piece of lint off his shirt.  Then he looks Into his own eyes for 
a long moment, finally turning to Laliari, a smile, eyes 
GLISTENING. Nearby a POD DISK on the floor GLOWS.

JASON
I'm ready.

28D	INT. DRESSING ROOM

The actors enter their dressing room.

TOMMY
You should have let me hit him.

GWEN
I don't know guys... I mean, he almost looked... sincere. I know, 
it's bizarre!

FRED
I think we should have taken the gig... I mean, who knows the 
next time he'll ask us.

They all turn slowly to Fred. "Of course.. He was talking about a 
GIG."

28E	ELECTRONICS STORE

The actors hurry through the aisles to the back of the store. 
Gwen shouts to an EMPLOYEE stocking shelves.

GWEN
Commander come through here?

The Employee points to the back, taken with Gwen's beauty.

29	INT  ~LECTRONICS STORE WAREHOUSE NEAR DOCK

Gwen, Alex and the others enter, and look around.  Laliari is 
still in the room, alone.  She lights up as they enter.

GWEN
We're coming too.

LALIARI
Wonderful!  The Commander had me continue transmitting in the 
hopes you would change your mind. (to Vox) Protector, requesting 
six Interstellar pods for immediate departure.

Tommy rolls his eyes at Gwen. "These fans..."  But Gwen suddenly 
notices the POD DISKS glowing beneath their feet.

GWEN
Guys... Guys?   

Alex tries to step off the disk but It MOVES TO FOLLOW HIM.

ALEXANDER
What in the world...?

LALIARI
I look forward to meeting you all in person when we arrive at the 
ship.  End transmission.

And with that, Laliari blinks and VANISHES. She was simply a 
HOLOGRAM TRANSMISSION.  Full realization hits Gwen...

GWEN
Oh my God.  OH MY GOD.

30	INT. NSEA PROTECTOR DOCKING STATION POD BAY- DEEP SPACE

The room LIGHTS BRILLIANTLY with a series of flashes. In rapid 
succession the PODS arrive with a flash through a hatch In the 
ceiling. They unfold to reveal Gwen, Alexander, Tommy and Guy who 
stand paralyzed and teeth chattering. They look like a bunch of 
horrified bowling pins all facing toward...

A METAL HATCH -  Beyond It they register the SOUND of WET 
FOOTSTEPS growing closer... Their eyes widen as they see the 
hatch open revealing a group of 5 HORRIBLE TENTACLED DROOLING 
SCREG~ING ALIEN MONSTERS who surround our visitors, probing them 
with jagged devices. Then one of the monsters looks down at a 
mechanism on his belt.

MONSTER #1
Oops.  Crewmen, your skins! Activate your E-skins!

4/29/99	(GREEN)

The monsters all flip switches on their belts their forms become 
HUMAN,  uniformed as ship's TECHNICIANS.

TECHNICIAN #1
Our most sincere apologies! We forgot about our appearance 
generators.

Then JASON appears in the doorway, wearing a big warm smile.

JASON
Guys! You CAME!...

They stand there, still paralyzed and terrified.

JASON
Okay, who wants the grand tour?

Guy is now relaxed enough to let out the loudest most genuine 
SCREAM you've ever heard in your life. A beat.

JASON
Okay, Guy... Anybody else?

Then another streak of light, and Fred appears along side the 
others. He steps off of the disk, unaffected.

FRED
Now that was a hell of a thing. 
(to Jason, motioning to others)
What's wrong with them?

Jason smiles. Nothing gets to Fred.

31	INT. PROTECTOR DOCKING STRUCTURE - HALLWAY

Jason leads Gwen, Alexander, Tommy, Guy and Fred down the hall. 
They shuffle forward like recent hospital releases, looking 
around silent and dumbfounded at their surroundings, occasional 
involuntary JERKS of their limbs evidence of their horrifying 
journey.

JASON
That's right... Just keep shaking it out... Here, have some gum, 
It helps.

TOMMY
Wh... Where are we?

4/29/99	(GREEN)

JASON
Twenty third quadrant of gamma sector.  I can show you on a map.

Then Mathesar appears coming down the hall with a small group of 
ALIENS. He has a warm smile on his face.

MATHESAR
Welcome my friends   I am Mathesar. On behalf of my people I wish 
to thank you from the deepest place in our hearts.

He reaches out to shake their hands respectfully.

MATHESAR
Dr. Lazarus... Lt. Madison. Young Laredo, how you've grown. Tech 
Sgt. Chen... And....

He looks at Guy quizzically, not sure who he is.

GUY
"Crewman #6"... Call me Guy.

GWEN
You... know us?

MATHESAR
(soft laugh)
I don't believe there is a man, woman or child on my planet who 
does not.  In the years since we first received your ship's 
historical documents, we have studied every facet of your 
missions, technologies and strategies.

ALEXANDER
Historical documents?

MATHESAR
Yes. Eighteen years ago we received transmission of the first.  
It continued for four years, and then stopped, as mysteriously as 
it came...

TOMMY
You've been watching the sho...
(he's nudged by Jason)
the historical records... out HERE?

MATHE EAR
Yes, in the last hundred years our society had fallen into 
disarray. Our goals, our values had become scattered. But since 
the transmission we have modeled many aspects of our society from 
your example, and it has saved us. Your courage, teamwork, 
friendship through the adversity...

They all exchange glances.

MATHESAR (cont'd)
In fact, all you see around you comes from the lessons garnered 
from the historical documents.

GWEN
THAT'S why you built this ship?

GUY
It's ... incredible.

JASON
Oh this? No, this isn't the ship. This is only the star port for 
the ship.
(a twinkle In his eye) 
You want to see the ship?

He pushes a button and a door opens leading to a DOCKING POD. 

32	INT. DOCKING POD

They enter.  He pushes another button and the doors close, and 
the transport starts moving. As it clears a wall, we see out the 
window A MAGNIFICENT AND BREATHTAKING VIEW OF THE ENORMOUS NSEA 
PROTECTOR DOCKED IN FRONT OF TH~...  They all gawk at the amazing 
sight, their eyes wide like children.

ALEXANDER
Oh my god, It's real.

GWEN
All this from watching the.. historical records?

MATHESAR
Yes, and from your supplementary technical documents, of 
course...

He motions to another alien who withdraws a number of brightly 
colored BOOKS and BOXES from a backpack. The actors look through 
the various FAN BOOKS and ENTERTAINMENT SOFTWARE bearing such 
titles as "THE OFFICIAL GALAXY QUEST BLUEPRINTS: NSEA PROTECTOR" 
and "VIRTUAL GAAAXY QUEST: THE CDROM EXPERIENCE." The actors 
exchange glances and then... Tommy begins to giggle. Alex looks 
at him, at the fan stuff, then out at the ENORMOUS SHIP, and he 
begins to laugh too... The others join in laughing like maniacs, 
hysterical, disbelieving laughter, as they head toward the GIANT 
SHIP.

33	INT. PROTECTOR - CORRIDOR

The group walks down the corridor, peeking into various rooms, 
more awestruck every second. As they pass each room, the CREW 
MEMBERS inside salute. FEMALE crew members pass occasionally, 
saluting and offering "Hello Commander's to Jason. This does not 
escape Gwen's notice.

(Guy always seems to be just outside the group, a little late, 
always trying to see between their heads...)

MATHESAR
The medical quarters are to the left...

The actor's WHISPER to Jason, all at once...

TOMMY 
What the hell is going on?!!?

ALEXANDER
Jason, what have you gotten us into?

GWEN
I don't believe this, it's insane.

FRED
Wow, the floors are REALLY clean.

JASON
Calm down everybody.   We're just here to negotiate General 
Sarris' surrender.

ALEXANDER
"Just!?"

MATHESAR
Weapons storage...

JASON
It's perfectly safe. I promise.

MATHESAR
... Maintenance facility...

GWEN
Jason, this is crazy! We should get out of here...

MATHESAR
Situations room... Dining hall...

4/29/99	(GREEN)

JASON
You want to go home? Fine. Say the word, and we'll all go home 
and feed the fish and pay the bills and fall asleep with the t.v. 
on and miss out on THIS. Is that really what you want? Anybody?

A beat. Clearly nobody wants to leave. A beat.

MATHESAR (cont'd)
The main barracks...

TWO HUNDRED crewmen rise to attention. Jason salutes back.

JASON
At ease men.

ALEXANDER
(awed)
Like throwing gasoline on a fire...

Alex turns to Guy, who is smiling ear to ear.

ALEXANDER (cont'd)
What?

GUY
I'm just jazzed to be on the show, man.'

33A	OMIT

34	GENERATOR ROOM

The group enters. The centerpiece of the room is a large 
pulsating ORB. When the orb dims, we see its surface has a rocky 
texture, like a large boulder. Many TECHS scurry about tending to 
the surrounding measurement devices.

MATHESAR
The generator room... Our Beryllium Sphere, of course... I hope, 
Tech Sergeant Chen, that this meets with your approval.

Fred runs his finger along a gleaming copper tube with authority.

FRED
Fine... Real clean.

Three YOUNGER CREWMEN approach and whisper to Mathesar. They 
argue a bit, then Mathesar reticently approaches Fred.

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

MATHESAR
Tech Sgt. Chen, I am sorry to ask this of you so shortly after 
your arrival. But members of our reactor staff have a question 
they find most pressing.

FRED
Uh huh?

LAHNK
Sir, we have had unexplained proton surges in our delta unit. 
They cannot be verified on the sub frequency spectrum, but appear 
on the valence detector when scanning the Beryllium Sphere. We 
are unable to resolve this problem and were hoping you would be 
able to advise us.

Everyone turns to Fred.  Silence.

FRED
Uh huh... I see... Well, that's a puzzler isn't it?...

The others exchange glances, wondering what he'll say. Then Fred 
turns to one of the Techs.

FRED
U.... What do you think?

NERVOUS TECH
That possibly... The valence bonds have shifted bi-laterally?

FRED
... What does that mean?

NERVOUS TECH
What does that mean?!!!  Yes, I see! Yes... It means that 
perhaps... the... bonding molecules have become covalent?!...

FRED
Covalent... Right. So...

NERVOUS TECH
So our solution is to introduce a bonding substrate! - A two 
molecule compound sharing a free electron - and bombard the ions 
with their reflective isotopes!

4/29/99	(GREEN)

FRED
OK!

The other TECHS grin, astonished.

LANK
Of course! It's so obvious!

TECH #2
Sergeant Chen, you're... a genius!

Fred waves off the praise modestly. Mathesar shoots a look to 
Lahnk as if to say "we're in good hands here."

MATHESAR
Now I suggest that you rest before we take the ship out of dock.  
These crewmen will escort you to your quarters.

4/29/99	(GREEN)

PAGES 34-35 OMITTED

4/29/99	(GREEN)

34A	OMIT

34B	INT. MEDIA ROOM

Tommy's escort NERU hands over various weapons to a grinning 
Tommy.

NERU
Here is your valence shield.  Your vox. Your magneto-pistol... We 
know you prefer a sensitive trigger. If there is anything else 
you require?

TOMMY
Uh, no, I'm good. Thanks. 
(Neru starts to exit)
Oh wait. Here you go.

Tommy stuffs a couple of bucks into Neru's hand.  Neru looks at 
the tip, perplexed, and exits.

35	INT. HALLWAY

Alex's young escort, QUELLEK, leads him down the hall. 

QUELLEK
Dr. Lazarus... I hope that I'm not breaching protocol but.. I am 
so very humbled to stand in your presence... I have studied your 
missions extensively... Though I am Thermian, I have lived my 
life by your philosophy, by the code of the Mak'tar.

ALEXANDER
Well good, that's very... nice.

QUELLEK
(emotional)
By Grabthar's Hammer, Dr. Lazarus, I-

ALEXANDER
Don't do that. I'm not kidding.

QUELLEK
I'm sorry, sir, I was only-

ALEXANDER
Just don't.

QUELLEK
...Yes sir.
(they come to a stop)
Your quarters sir.

36	INT. ALEX'S QUARTERS

Quellek opens the door and they enter.  The room is a grey square 
completely barren.

ALEXANDER
This is it?

QUELLEK
Yes sir. Marvelous, isn't it? Completely distractionless.

ALEXANDER
Where's my bed?

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

Quellek pushes a button and SIX LARGE SPIKES rise from the floor.

QUELLEK
Just as on your home planet, sir. If I may say, it took me three 
years to master the spikes, but now I sleep with a peace I never 
thought possible...

ALEXANDER
Is that the bathroom?

QUELLEK
Yes sir... The use of your waste facilities were strangely absent 
from the historical records, so we had to extrapolate purely on 
the basis of your anatomy.

37	INT. ALEX'S BATHROOM

They enter. Alex looks down at a thing that looks more like a 
torture device than a toilet, with elaborate 'tubes and stirrups 
and plugs going everywhere.

QUELLEK
You're quite complicated, sir.

Alex stares at the thing, despairingly.

38	OMIT

39	INT. GWEN'S CABIN

An exotic and beautiful room. Gwen is changing into her GALAXY 
QUEST uniform. There's a knock on the door.

JASON (O.S.)
It's Jason...

GWEN
One minute   I'm - 
(he enters)
Hey, I'm dressing.'

JASON
Oh come on, it's not like I haven't-

She finishes and turns.

4/20/99	(BLUE)

They just look at each other for a moment. Gwen breaks out into a 
smile, trying to find the words.

JASON (cont'd)
Yeah, I know.

GWEN
I just can't believe it. Any of it!  Look at this room!.. They 
designed it based on the Tuaran Pleasure ship from "historical 
document" thirty seven.
(looks at a mirror)
Oh and wait, wait, listen to this!
(looks up)
Computer?

COMPUTER
Yes?

GWEN
What's the weather like outside?

COMPUTER
There is no weather in space.

GWEN
I never get tired of that joke.

JASON
Let me try.  Computer? (no response) Computer?...

GWEN
Only answers to me.

JASON
But I'm the Commander!

GWEN
On the show I talk to the computer and repeat what it says. So 
that's what they built.

JASON
C'mon, we're wanted up on the command deck.

But Gwen holds her ground.

GWEN
Wait. When are you going to tell them?

4/20/99	(BLUE)

JASON
Tell them? About...

GWEN
Who we are. Don't you think they're going to be PISSED?

JASON
Are you kidding? I'm not going to tell them.

4/20/99	(BLUE)

GWEN
Well you have to tell them.  What if something happens? We're 
actors, not astronauts... We can't do this stuff!

JASON
It's not the STUFF. I mean, anybody can learn the STUFF...  The 
important thing is COMMITMNT. 99% of anything is just committing 
to it.

GWEN
Ninty-nine percent of ACTING is commitment. ACTING.  Stella Adler 
never manned a resonance cannon, she taught ACTING...

Gwen moves toward the door.

JASON
Hey... Hey where are you going?

GWEN
We have no right to do this. They deserve to know.

JASON
Gwen... Gwen, c'mon, wait, no!

Just then the door opens. Laliari enters.

LALIARI
Lt. Madison. The females of the ship have requested your imprint 
for archival purposes at the proposed Tawny Madison Institute for 
Computer Research.

Gwen looks at Laliari, her eyes softening as she imprints her 
hand in a glowing PAD.

GWEN
The Tawny Madison Institute...

Jason smiles. He knows he's got her.

GWEN (cont'd)
Well... maybe we could stay a LITTLE longer...

She brushes past Jason, and they exit.

4/6/99	(PINK)

40	INT. HALUWAY

Jason and Gwen turn a corner and join up with Tommy, Alexander 
and Guy. They keep walking toward the command deck.

TOMMY
What's going on?

JASON
I think we're going to exit the space port.

GUY
That should be something to see...

41	INT. COMMAND DECK

They enter and gawk at the familiar hub, waiting for the show to 
start... not realizing they ARE the show.

MATHESAR
If you would all take your positions...

THE ACTORS
Oh, right... US!  Yes, of course... US!

They take their positions, marveling at the familiar control 
panels in front of them. Tommy turns to Guy.

TOMMY
Look.. This thingy... I remember I had it all worked out. This 
was forward, back...

MATHESAR
Commander, some of the crew has requested to be present at this 
historic event.

Mathesar motions and a few CREWMEN enter, followed by a dozen 
more... followed by FIFTY more.  They stand around the periphery 
of 'the room, watching eagerly. Tommy turns to Guy.

TOMMY
No pressure, huh?  Glad I'm not the Commander.

COMMANDER
Okay, Lareo, take her out.
 
Everyone in the room turns their attention to Tommy.  His 
sarcastic smile drops.  He looks mortified. 

TOMMY
Excuse me?

JASON
They designed the ship from watching you. So... Take her out, 
Lieutenant...

Tommy stares down at his control panel.  It's pretty self 
explanatory, a throttle and a circular dial for direction. But 
daunting nonetheless.

TOMMY
Right. Okay, yeah, sure.

Everyone's eyes are glued to him as he moves the throttle forward 
slightly. The ENGINES COME TO LIFE, a massive exhilarating sound.  
Tommy giggles nervously. His hand trembles as he pushes the 
throttle further.  The ship start to move.  The actors exchange 
worried glances.

TOMMY
Oh god. Oh my god....

42	EXT. SHIP

You can feel the WEIGHT of 'the giant craft as it eases forward, 
sliiding through the sides of the dock.

43	COMMAND DECK

Everyone watches the forward monitor.  Tommy turns the NAVIGATION 
DIAL slowly.  Guy whispers to him...

GUY
More to the left... Stay parallel...

TOMMY
Hey, YOU want to drive?

44	EXT. STAR DOCK

Indeed, the ship is slightly off course... It's like trying to 
get out of a tight parking space with concrete walls to either 
side. And the ship is veering ever so slightly into one of the 
walls.

4/29/99	(GREEN)

45	INT. COMMAND DECK

Tommy turns the dial to correct... But it looks like the momentum 
might carry the ship into the wall anyway... Tommy PEGS the dial 
to the left... The others hold their breath as the bow of the 
ship moves closer and closer to the wall... Then... It TOUCHES.  
The sound of a soft but high pitched SCRAAAAAAAPE.

TOMMY
Oh shit.

46	EXT. STAR DOCK

The ship is stopped, just grazing the wall EVER SO SLIGHTLY.

47	INT. COMMAND DECK

All eyes are on Tommy. He doesn't know what to do... Should he 
continue forward, or back up, and scrape again for sure? The 
classic parking lot dilemma, magnified by ten thousand. Tommy 
grasps the throttle and moves it slightly forward... SCRAAAAAAPE.  
He keeps going, in too deep to back out now... And the ship 
continues to SCRAAAAAPE for a couple of horrible seconds as it 
completes the curve... And then it is free. The beautiful craft 
glides slowly out to open space... Jason and the others let out a 
sigh of relief.

JASON
Very good Lieutenant. Forward Mark two...

Tommy smiles, relieved. He pushes throttle to the "2".

TOMMY
Mark two, Commander.

48	EXT. SHIP

The ship glides out to space, only a relatively minor scrape of 
the paint job to show for the incident.

49	INT. DINING HALL

The crew and various aliens sit around the large table, eating an 
extravagant meal. Mathesar makes a toast.

MATHESAR
To our brave guests.  Few in this universe have the opportunity 
to meet their heroes.  We are blessed to count ourselves among 
them.

4/29/99	(GREEN)

JASON
Wherever a distress signal sounds among the stars, we'll be 
there, this fine
ship, this fine crew. Never give up, never surrender!

Everyone clinks glasses.  Quellek tips his glass to Alexander as 
Teb turns to Tommy.

TEB
We are sorry about the instrumentation, Lt. Laredo. There must 
have been a malfunction in the steerage mechanism.

TOMMY
(stern)
Just see that it doesn't happen again.

TEB
Yes sir.
(to Gwen)
How are you enjoying your food, Lt. Madison?

GWEN
Oh it's fantastic. French is my favorite.

TEB
Yes, we programed the food synthesizer for each of you based on 
the regional menu of your birthplace.
(turns to Alexander)
Are you enjoying your Kep-mok bloodticks Dr. Lazarus?

Alexander, miserable, toys with a bowl of living insects swimming 
in a disgustingly vomit-textured broth.

ALEXANDER
Just like mother used to make.

He pushes the bowl away, nauseated.

DISSOLVE TO:

DINING HALL - LATER

The actors are wilted, half asleep as Jason goes on...

JASON
The beast ROARED as I PLUNGED the knife again and again... I held 
on for dear life as it thrashed about! And that was 
(MORE)

4/29/99	(GREEN)

JASON (cont'd)
the day : learned that a Kilve Serpent bleeds red. (beat) What 
price man? What price man?

ALEXANDER
Tell me, Mathesar, this Sarris bloke we're flying to meet... What 
is it he wants exactly?

MATHESAR
For years, Sarris has plundered the resources of our planet. Our 
people, our technologies. We built this ship in order to find a 
new planet to settle. One far away from Sarris. We are not a 
people accustomed to confrontation. We are scientists. This ship 
was our salvation.

A tick jumps off of Alexander's spoon back into the soup.

MATHESAR
But Sarris found out about our plans just as we had completed 
construction of the
(MORE)

4/26/99 	(PINK)

MATHESAR (cont'd)
Protector II.  He heard about the device... The Omega 13.

GUY
The Omega 13... Why does that sound so familiar?...

GWEN
The lost footage. At the convention. The mysterious device in our 
last episo--historical document.

TOMMY
What is it? What does it do?

MATHESAR
We don't know.

GWEN
But... You built one, right?

TEB
We built... something... from the blueprints and what references 
we could find on your internet... Our computer neural nets made 
educated guesses in areas we were uncertain.  So there is 
actually much about the device we don't even understand.  We were 
hoping you could enlighten us.

JASON
Well, it's... This was a device we... 
(looks around for help) 
discovered on an alien planet.  We don't know what it does 
either.

TOMMY
Why don't you just turn it on and see?

TEB
It has at its heart a reactor capable of generating unthinkable 
energy.  If we were mistaken in our construction by even the 
slightest calculation, the device would act as a molecular 
explosive, causing a chain reaction that would obliterate all 
matter in the universe.

ALEXANDER
Let me at the switch.

4/26/99	(PINK)

JASON
Mathesar?. .. Has Sarris seen the.. historical records?

MATHESAR
NO, Thank God he has not.

JASON
Then how did he find out about the device?

MATHESAR
Our former Commander was not... Strong.

JASON
Former Commander?

MATHESAR
I'm sorry. You deserve to be shown.

He nods to a Crewman who pushes a button. A wall panel moves 
aside to reveal a large VIEWSCREEN.  An image appears with a lot 
of static, and the sound cuts in and out...

MATHESAR
The tape was partially demagnetized as it was smuggled off of 
Sarris' ship.

But through the static we can make out an image:  The former 
Commander, in ALIEN form, Is strapped to a metal board.  Each of 
his wrists and ankles is secured with mechanical devices and 
twisted in different directions.

MATHESAR
Originally, one of our own tried to lead...

ONSCREEN Sarris stands over the alien with a control panel.

SARRIS (ON MONITOR)
Is that all?  You have no more to confess to me? No? After three 
days of this you still require incentive?

Sarris moves switches on the panel. The device pulls at the 
alien's limbs, twisting them horribly. Bones crackle.

ALIEN COMMANDER (ON MONITOR)
I say again... I have told you all I know. To my shame, I have 
told you everything. If you have any mercy within you, please, 
let me die.

4/28/99	(YELLOW)

SARRIS
Oh I shall, I shall... When I grow weary of the noises you make, 
my little plaything, be assured, you shall die...

Sarris toys with his control panel. Mercifully the screen fuzzes 
up with static and we can only HEAR the bone chilling SCREAMS...

We PAN around the table, past GWEN, ALEXANDER, TOMMY, GUY...Their 
mouths open in horror as they watch the screen.  Camera stops on 
JASON.  He stares, the blood draining from his face.

50	INT. HALLWAY

The actors walk down the hallway behind Jason, panicked.

GWEN
We're leaving, Jason. We're leaving NOW.

JASON
Let me think. I need time to think.

ALEXANDER
He wants to THINK!?

TOMMY
No, Jason, that's a wrap!  There's nothing to think about!

GUY
Listen, I'm not even supposed to BE here. I'm just Crewman #6.  
I'm expendable. I'm the guy in the episode who dies to prove that 
the situation is serious! I'm leaving NOW.

Mathesar comes running up, looking distressed.

MATHESAR
Commander...

JASON
Mathesar, I need you to prepare pods for my crew.

GWEN
Your crew?  What about you?

Jason looks torn.  He starts to say something, but-

4/28/99	(YELLOW)

MATHESAR
Begging your Commander's pardon, sir, but we cannot launch pods 
at the moment. Sarris will surely detonate any objects leaving 
the ship.  (beat) Yes sir, he's
	(MORE)

4/26/99	(PINK)

MATHESAR (cont'd)
here now. Your presence is required on the command deck.

Everyone reacts, alarmed, and we

51	INT. COMMAND DECK

The actors enter the empty deck followed by Mathesar.

GWEN
There's nobody here. Jason...

JASON
Mathesar, maybe we should get some of your crew up here.

MATHESAR
I thank you for your consideration to our pride, but while my 
people are talented scientists our attempts to operate our own 
technologies under tactical simulation have been disastrous.

He leans over to Gwen's computer station as she sits, and pushes 
a button.

MATHESAR
I have raised Sarris on zeta frequency.

GWEN
Uh... Great. Thanks.

JASON
Still, Mathesar, your crew may nonetheless be helpful in certain-

But he is interrupted by the sight of SARRIS appearing on the 
large VIEWSCREEN.  Sarris now wears a metal eyepatch, and has a 
long scar across his cheek.

SARRIS
We meet again Commander.

The crew stares at Sarris. A frightening visage.

JASON
Yes... Hi Sarris... How are you doing?

SARRIS
Better than my Lieutenant.  He failed to activate ship's neutron 
armor as quickly as I'd hoped on our last encounter.

He brings into view a stake with the impaled head of his former 
Lieutenant. 

JASON
Right.  Well... Listen, I'm (laughs) I'm sorry about that 
whole... thing.. before. It was kind of a misunderstanding.  I'm 
sure we can work this out like reasonable people... How's the 
uh...
(motions to his eyepatch)
... that going to heal up? God, I hope so, I feel just awful 
about that.

SARRIS
Deliver the device now or I will destroy your ship.

JASON
Listen, I'd like to, but frankly.. I'm not even sure where it is, 
or even...

SARRIS
You have ten seconds.

JASON
All right. You got it. You win. I'll deliver it now.  Just give 
me a moment to set it up.

Jason motions to Gwen to cut the transmission.  Gwen nods.

JASON
All right, now nobody panic, I've dealt with this guy before and 
believe me, he's as stupid as he is ugly.

GWEN
Jason..

JASON
We're going to fire everything we've got at him, all right?

GWEN
JASON...

JASON
You just keep pushing those buttons, those there, send everything 
at him, okay?

Guy looks at the buttons labeled with icons of armaments.

GUY
...Okay

JASON
All right. Put me back on with him.

GWEN
I'm trying to tell you. You ARE on with him.

SARRIS
Perhaps I am not as stupid as I am ugly, Commander.

Jason turns to Gwen horrified.

JASON
I made the CUT THE LINE gesture. You nodded okay.'

GWEN
I thought It was the "We're dead" gesture! I was agreeing! Like I 
know where the hold button is???

JASON
(nervous jovial)
Listen, Sarris, you can't blame me for trying...

SARRIS
Of course not...

GUY
Guys... Red thingy moving toward the green thingy. Red thingy 
moving toward the green thingy!

JASON
What?

Guy motions to the radar screen. The red blip is about to impact.

GUY
I think we're the green thingy.

SARRIS
A present for you, Commander.

COMMANDER
Shit. Turn. Gun it' Get out of-

The shit is POUNDED BY A TORPEDO BLAST.  Now, unlike the "run 
back and forth" shake-the-camera explosions of the TV show, the 
result here is jarringly BRUTAL, like side-slamming a Hummer at 
70mph.  The entire crew goes FLYING from their positions and into 
the walls.  The lights FLICKER. 

They exchange glances, for the first time, bona fide FEAR In 
their eyes. This is REAL. Then ANOTHER blast sends them crumpled 
against walls and objects like rag dolls. The pain is palpable as 
they try to get back to their stations.

JASON
We've gotta get out of here!

Tommy looks at the sparkling map of lights on his dash.

TOMMY
Where?

JASON
Just GO! GO! DAMMIT PUNCH GO!

Tommy punches the red button. They all hold on for dear life as 
the ship roars forward, across the path of Sarris' ship.

GWEN
They're turning.  They're COMING.

An explosion rocks the ship.  Then another, and ANOTHER...

COMPUTER
The ship is sustaining structural damage.

GWEN
Guys, we're sustaining structural damage!...

JASON
Faster Tommy. Get us out of here!

TOMMY
It's as far as it goes!

GUY
They're still behind us...

JASON
We should have a turbo. I'm always saying "activate turbo 
boosters", right?...

TOMMY
Could be this.

JASON
Push It. Hold it down.

He pushes the turbo. The ship begins to VIBRATE.

COMPUTER
The enemy is matching velocity.

GWEN
The enemy is matching velocity.

ALEXANDER
We heard it the first time!

GWEN
Shit! I'm doing it! I'm repeating the damn computer!

Suddenly an image of Fred down in the generator room appears on 
the side viewscreen.  He's taking it all in stride.

FRED
Hi guys. Listen, they're telling me that the generators won't 
take it, the ship's breaking apart and all that. Just FYI.

The viewscreen goes black.  The ship ROARS forward.

ALEXANDER
We've got to stop!

JASON
We stop we die. Keep holding the thruster down Tommy!

ALEXANDER
You don't hold a thruster down! It's for quick boosts

JASON
Like YOU know?

The ship GROANS and CREAKS. Then a loud KLAXON sounds.

GWEN
I remember that sound! That's a bad sound!

Jason looks forward. In the distance is an amorphous MASS...

JASON
Maybe we can lose them in that cloud.

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

GWEN
I don't think that's a cloud...

As they approach, the "cloud" reveals itself to actually be 
thousands upon thousands of SLOWLY ROTATING OCTAHEDRONS.

JASON
Mathesar? What is that?

MATHESAR
It's the Tothian mine field left standing from the Great War of 
12185.

Their jaws drop as they see the vast array of MINES.

ALEXANDER
May I get the check?

GWEN
The ships are gaining...

JASON
Do your best, Tommy...

TOMMY
Oh god...

THE FIRST MINE HITS, ROCKING THE SHIP... BOOM!   Tommy SWERVES to 
avoid it, running into another mine.  Then another.  Tommy 
couldn't do worse if he were aiming for them.

ALEXANDER
Could you possibly try (BOOM!) not to hit (BOOM!) every (BOOM!) 
single (BOOM!) one!

TOMMY
They're drifting toward me... I think they're magnetic!...

52	EXT. PROTECTOR

The ship HURTLES FORWARD through the mine field, taking 
considerable damage as the mines impact.  PIECES of the ship fall 
off behind it...

52A	INT. SARRIS' SHIP

Calm, Sarris watches the PROTECTOR fly into the almost certain 
death of the mine field. His LIEUTENANT flies ahead eagerly.

LATHE
Continue forward, sir?

SARRIS
Patience, Lt. . Patience.

53	INT. COMMAND DECK

JASON
We're almost through... Come on... Hold...

The ship is now VIBRATING HORRIBLY. It GROANS and CREAKS hen.. 
RIVETS start to POP sending DEADLY PROJECTILES flying.

ALEXANDER
WE'VE HAVE TO STOP!

GWEN
FRONT ARMOR IS GONE! JUST SLOW IT DOWN A LITTLE!

JASON
NO!  WE'RE ALMOST THROUGH!

ALEXANDER
DON'T BE INSANE, STOP! FULL STOP!

JASON 
KEEP GOING! KEEP GOING!

TOMMY
WHAT DO IT DO? WHAT DO IT DO? 

And then suddenly a LOUD GRINDING noise. Then SILENCE. The 
vibrating stops. Gwen looks up from her radar screen.

ALEXANDER
What's happened?

TOMMY
The engines are dead. We're drifting.

JASON
Are they behind us?

GWEN
No, I don't think so... Wait. They're not but...  Something is. 
(beat) Oh my god.

They look out the rear view screen to see...  TWO DOZEN MAGNETIC 
MINES BEARING DOWN ON THEM IN A CLUSTER.

JASON
DOWN!

They barely have time to brace themselves as the ship is ROCKED 
by WAVES of explosions.  They hit the floor and try to ride it 
out. It's brutal...

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

EXT. SHIP

The last of the mines explodes and the ship is sent tumbling 
lifelessly end over end through space. The exterior lights are 
dark. The once shiny hull now blackened and ragged.

55	INT. COMMAND DECK

The deck looks dead and empty. Smoke is in the air. The lights 
are dim. The sirens have stopped. It's completely silent. The 
crew slowly emerges from behind panels and equipment, bruised and 
bloodied. Jason moves to Gwen.

JASON
Are you all right? 
(she nods, rising)
Tommy. Where's Tommy?

They hear a GROAN.  Tommy is crumpled against the wall, his arm 
twisted impossibly.  He's in agony.

TOMMY
It's broke... Oh God... Oh God...

MATHESAR
I'll take him to medical quarters.

They exit, limping. Alexander rises, moves past Jason. Blood 
trickles down his forehead.  In a mocking tone...

ALEXANDER
"Go into the cloud! ...

GWEN
Alex? Where are you going?

ALEXANDER
To see if there's a pub.

He exits.  The others turn to Jason, their faces sooty, their 
clothing torn and bloody.

56	INT. SHIP STRATEGY ROOM

The crew sits around the room, licking their wounds. Alexander 
nurses a blue beverage. Tommy examines a high tech metallic cast 
on his arm.

COMPUTER
...Forward thruster shaft, 87% damage... Left vector guards, 96% 
damage... Level 5 structural breaches in quadrants 32, 34, 40, 
43, 58...

4/20/99	(BLUE)

JASON

And the engines?

GWEN
Computer, what about our engines? Why don't we have power?

COMPUTER
The Beryllium Sphere has fractured under stress.

GWEN
It's fractured...

JASON
Can it be repaired?

GWEN
Computer, can it be repaired?

COMPUTER
Negative. The Beryllium sphere will have to be replaced.

GWEN
We need another one.

GUY
Shit, the Beryllium sphere. That's bad...

ALEXANDER
(to Jason)
You broke the ship. You broke the bloody SHIP! I told you you 
don't hold down a turbo. You push it once, maybe twice for a 
boost but you don't HOLD it.

JASON
Do we have a replacement Beryllium sphere onboard?

GWEN
Computer, do we have a replacement Beryllium sphere onboard?

COMPUTER
Negative, no reserve Beryllium sphere exists onboard.

GWEN
No, we don't have an extra Beryllium sphere.

4/26/99	(PINK)

TOMMY
You know, that's really getting annoying.

GWEN
(deadly)
I have ONE job on this lousy ship. It's stupid, but I'm going to 
DO it. GOT IT?

TOMMY
(intimidated)
Sure, no problem.

Suddenly the door opens and seven Aliens enter, led by Mathesar. 
They look VERY SERIOUS.  Guy exchanges an "uh oh" glance with 
Tommy... But the aliens fall to one knee, lowering their heads.

MATHESAR
A thousand apologies. We have failed you.

JASON
You what?.. What are you talking about?

MATHESAR
(wracked with sadness)
We have seen you victorious in many more desperate situations. 
The fault must lie with us, with the ship...

Gwen shoots Jason a glance... TELL THEM.

JASON
No... Listen, Mathesar. it's not your fault.  We're... We're... 
.....

He can't bring himself to finish.

GWEN
We're not the people you think we are.

MATHESAR
I don't understand.

ALEXANDER
Mathesar, don't you have television on your planet? Theater? 
Films?

MATHESAR
The historical documents of your culture... Yes, in fact we have 
begun to
(MORE)

4/28/99	(YELLOW)

MATHESAR (cont'd) 
document our own history, from your example...

GWEN
No not historical documents... They're not all historical 
documents... I mean... surely you don't think Gilligan's Island 
is a...

Mathesar and the others exchange sad glances...

MATHESAR
Those poor people...

TOMMY 
Hoo boy...

Mathesar and the others exchange quizzical looks.

GWEN
Does no one on your planet behave in a way that is contrary to 
reality?

MATHESAR
Ah. You speak of...

Unable to bring the words to mind, he confers with his fellows.

MATHESAR
"Deception..." "Lies."

JASON
Well... Sort of...

MATHESAR
We have become aware of these concepts only recently. In our 
dealings with Sarris. Often Sarris will say one thing, and do 
another. Promise us mercy and deliver destruction... It is a 
concept we are beginning to learn at some great cost.
(a worried beat)
But if you are saying that any of you could have traits in common 
with Sarris.

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

He starts to laugh, and the other aliens join in.

MATHESAR
You are our protectors... Our heroes. You will save us.

Suddenly a VIEWSCREEN lights and we see Fred on the monitor from 
down in the generator room.

FRED (ON SCREEN)
Hey Commander. Listen, we found some Beryllium on a nearby 
planet. We might be able to get there if we re-configure the 
solar matrix in parallel for endothermic propulsion. What do you 
think?

JASON
I...Well, uh... Yes, absolutely.

Fred turns to two young TECHS next to him, then licks and sticks 
two sticky GOLD STARS onto their wrists. They beam.

FRED
Correct! Gold star for you and a gold star for you...

57	EXT. SHIP

The ship lumbers slowly forward.  In the distance we see the 
swirling globe of a colorful and mysterious PLANET.

58	INT. SURFACE POD BAY - LATER

Jason, Gwen, Tommy, Fred and Guy enter the small surface pod. 
Quellek, Alexander's protege, steps forward, hands Alex a device.

QUELLEK
Dr. Lazarus, here is your surface mapper.  I have programed it to 
the coordinates of a Beryllium Sphere of sufficient density.

ALEXANDER
Thanks.

QUELLEK
(emotional)
Good luck on your mission, Sir. By Grabthar's Hammer, by the Suns 
of Warvan I wish you-

ALEXANDER
(holds up a warning finger)
Uh uh! What did we talk about?

QUELLEK
Right... Sorry, sir.

59	INT. SURFACE POD

Tommy pilots the craft as the pod approaches the beautiful and 
mysterious planet. Guy looks out the window nervously.

GUY
I changed my mind. I want to go back.

ALEXANDER
After the big fuss you made about not getting left behind on the 
ship?

GUY
Yeah, but that's when I thought maybe was the crewman that stays 
on the shin and something is up there and it kills me, but now 
I'm thinking I'm the guy who gets killed by some monster five 
minutes after we land on the planet...

JASON
Guy, you're not going to get killed on the planet, okay?

GUY
Oh, I'm not? I'm not? Then what's my last name?

JASON
Your last name.

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD

GUY
Yeah, what is it?

JASON
It's... I don't know.

GUY
No. Nobody does. Do you know WHY? Because my character Isn't 
IMPORTANT enough for a last name. Because I'm going to DIE five 
minutes in, why bother to come up with a last name for me?

GWEN
Guy, you HAVE a last name. We just don't KNOW it.

GUY
Do I? DO I?  For all you know I'm just "CREWMAN #6"!  
(hysterical) Okay, it's FLEEGMAN! Guy FLEEGMAN! There! Now I'm a 
whole person! I can't die! FLEEGMAN! THEY CAN'T KILL ME NOW, CAN 
THEY? CAN THEY?

Jason slaps him.

GUY
See? I'm the hysterical guy who needs to be slapped, and then I 
die!

ALEXANDER
(sighs)
Are we there yet?

60	EXT. SURFACE POD

The pod makes its way toward the surface.

61	INT. POD

The ship shakes as it lands. Everyone exchanges anxious glances. 
As they set down everyone applauds, complimenting Tommy on the 
landing.  Tommy looks away, shamed.

TOMMY
Autopilot.

Everyone looks away, disappointed. Suddenly the HATCH opens with 
a loud PHHHHT of air decompression.  Fred has opened it.

GUY
What are you doing!  You don't just open the door! It's an alien 
planet! Is there air!? You don't know, do you!

3/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

Fred sniffs the air.

FRED
Seems okay.

Guy sighs.

62	EXT. PLANET SURFACE - DAY

The six exit the craft tentatively. Guy looks around, 
apprehensive.

JASON
Which way, Alex?

Alexander looks down at his mapper.

ALEXANDER
This way... Wait, no, that way...

They turn in the opposite direction.

TOMMY
You were holding it upside down weren't you?

ALEXANDER
Shut up.

TOMMY
You know, with the makeup and everything1 I actually thought he 
was smart for a second.

ALEXANDER
You think you could do better "Laredo?"

TOMMY
Hey, watch that "Laredo" shit.

GUY
We're screwed... We're so screwed...

JASON
All right, let's all settle down.  If we're going to get through 
this we're going to have to exercise self control.

GWEN
Self control?  That's funny coming from the guy that slept with 
every Moon Princess and Terrakian slave girl on the show!...

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

JASON
Did it ever occur to you that if you had been a little more 
supportive you could have held on to me?

GWEN
I could have held on to YOU! ...

ALEXANDER
We re really going to do this HERE?

63	OMIT

64	ROCKY INCLINE - "SPOOKYVILLE"

It's darker here, more menacing.  Jagged cliff overhangs form 
spooky shapes.  Guy looks around nervously.

JASON
How much further?

Alexander measures the distance on the device between his fingers 
and holds them up.

ALEXANDER
About this much.

JASON
What's the scale?  Is that ten miles? A hundred miles?

ALEXANDER
THIS much.

Guy glances back to see the rocky trench they just passed 
through. The ROCK SHAPES jutting from the walls look vaguely like 
arms and hands...

Suddenly Guy YELLS as he drops out of frame. The others turn to 
see him on the ground, struggling, his foot lodged in a crevice 
in the landscape.

GUY
It's got me it's got me! See? FIVE MINUTES! I told you!

Jason runs back and starts to help extricate Guy. He pulls his 
foot free and looks around.

GUY
Something grabbed me! IT DID.

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

The others shake their heads and continue forward. Guy rises, 
trying to put his shoe back on as he runs to catch up.

JASON
Easy son. It's just your imagination.  Hang tough.

He clasps Guy's shoulder in a commanderly way.

GWEN
You're playing your good side.

JASON
Don't be ridiculous.

ALEXANDER
And note the sucked in gut.

TOMMY
...Sleeves rolled halfway up the biceps...

FRED
It's the rugged pose.

The all nod in agreement. Jason is about to object, when suddenly 
everyone is stopped in their tracks by SPOOKY ALIEN WHISPERING 
and the sound of CRITTERS climbing around the surrounding cliffs.

GUY
That's it, that's what's going to kill me.

JASON
Let's just pick up the pace a little, shall we?

65	CREST OF HILL

They climb to the crest, out of breath.  Guy arrives last.  They 
clear the ridge and Look down onto

66	VALLEY BELOW - MINING OUTPOST

Below there is a small ABANDONED MINING FACILITY.  Wind WHISTLES 
through various structures and power stations.  In the center of 
the outpost sits a large shimmering boulder.

JASON
There it is. The Beryllium sphere.

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

ALEXANDER
Must be some sort of mining facility.

GWEN
Where are the miners?

GUY
Something BAD happened here.

TOMMY
Will you relax?

Suddenly they become aware of a SMALL BLUE CREATURE emerging from 
one of the structures.  It's blue and looks somewhat like a human 
child.  It moves to a small pool of water and begins drinking.  
Its movements are very quiet and tentative. Then a few more BLUE 
CHILDREN emerge and join the first.

GWEN
(smiling, amazed)
Look at that... Will you LOOK at that... They look like little 
children...

ALEXANDER
Could they be the miners?

FRED
Sure. They're like, three years old.

ALEXANDER
MINERS, not MINORS.

He pronounces the two words exactly the same. Fred looks at Alex 
like he's crazy.

FRED
You Okay, Alex?

GUY
I don't like this... I don't like this at all...

GWEN
Oh, they're so cute.

GUY
Of course they're cute NOW. But in a second they're going to turn 
MEAN and UGLY somehow and then there are going to be a million 
MORE of them!...

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

Then another blue creature emerges. This one limps, its leg is 
hurt. It moves forward, DRAGGING its bad foot along the ground, 
making NOISE.

EVERYONE
Awwww..... It's hurt...

Gwen rises up a little, tentatively waving at Limpy...

GWEN
Hi!... Hi there little guy...

Guy PUSHES her down behind the rock before the creatures notice.

GUY
Jesus, didn't ANY of you watch the show!?

The BLUE CHILDREN turn toward Limpy, and begin whispering in an 
alien tongue...

ALIEN CHILDREN 
Gorignak... Gorignak.... Nak nak!

GWEN
Aw, look. They're helping the hurt one...

Indeed the others move to the hurt creature, cocking their heads 
to the side empathetically...

Then suddenly we see the aliens SMILE with SHARP RAZOR TEETH, 
their mouths SPREADING OUT IMPOSSIBLY ON THEIR FACES.  They 
DESCEND on LIMPY, ripping him apart.  We only see a GEYSER OF 
BLOOD from the center of the blue circle....  Our group is 
silent, horrified.

GUY
I am SO SICK of being right.

GWEN
(stunned horror)
Let's get out of here before one of those things kills guy.

JASON
We gotta get that sphere, or we aren't going anywhere.

Reluctantly, they all nod in agreement.

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

JASON
All right... here's the plan:  First, Fred, we need a diversion 
to clear those things out of the compound, then Gwen, Alex, Fred 
and I go down to get the sphere.  Any of those things come back, 
give a signal. Guy, you set up a perimeter.

GWEN
Why does this sound so familiar?

TOMMY
"Assault on Voltareck III."  Episode... 31 I think.

GUY
We're doing episode 31?

TOMMY
Whatever, the one with the hologram. The wall of fire.

GWEN
How the hell is Fred supposed to project a hologram?

GUY
We're doing episode 31, Jason?

JASON
It doesn't have to be a hologram... Just a diversion.

GUY
Jason, are we doing Episode 31 or not?

JASON
It's a rough plan, Guy! What does it matter if we're doing 
episode 31 or not?!

GUY
BECAUSE I DIED IN EPISODE 31!

ALEXANDER
(interrupting)
This is ludicrous.  Why are you listening to this man?  Must I 
remind you that he is wearing a costume, not a uniform?...  He's 
no more equipped to lead us than THIS fellow. 
(motions to Guy) 
No offense.

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

TOMMY
You have a better plan, Alex?

ALEXANDER
As a matter of fact, I do. Look at their eyes. They're obviously 
nocturnal. Come sundown they will go into the forest to hunt.   
So our plan is simply to wait for nightfall instead of mounting 
an insane assault in full daylight simply because we did it that 
way in episode 31.'

The others look convinced.  Jason looks down, defeated. Everyone 
starts to settle in to wait for SUNDOWN.

67	EXT. RIDGE OVERLOOKING MINING OUTPOST - DUSK	67

Two hours later, the SUN is setting.  Everyone rises to begin 
their assault, as the last glow sinks Into the horizon.  They 
start forward when... THE SECOND SUN (the BIG one) rises up 
behind them, lighting the planet brightly. The actors turn to 
Alexander who looks away, sheepishly.  Jason smiles, vindicated, 
and stands, back in charge.

JASON
As I was saying... Fred, we need some sort of diversion. Some 
sort of Hologram or optical illusion or...

He looks at Fred, who looks up at him, completely lost.

FRED
A hologram...

JASON
(gently)
Never mind, Fred....

FRED
No, no... I'll think on it...

GWEN
Jason, look.

They all look down to see that the blue demons have already 
deserted the complex.

TOMMY
They're gone.

GUY
Where'd they go? Back inside?

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

GWEN
I don't know.

ALEXANDER
Nobody was WATCHING?

JASON
All right, Gwen, Alex, Fred, follow me.  Guy, set up the 
perimeter. Tommy, you keep a lookout, make a signal if they come 
back.

TOMMY
What kind of signal?

JASON
Anything.

TOMMY
Okay, I'll do this... 
(barely audible)
"Caw Caw!"

JASON
Tommy, we have these...

He motions to his vox.

TOMMY
Oh, right, sorry.

JASON
Okay, let's go.

Jason, Gwen, Alex and Fred start down the hillside leaving Tommy 
and Guy alone.  They stand there for a second, looking at each 
other.

TOMMY
You have no idea what a perimeter is, do you?

GUY
Not a clue. You?

TOMMY
I think he just likes pointing at things.

68	OMIT	68

69	DOWN THE RIDGE	69

Jason is in full action mode... He uses dramatic commando tactics 
he's acted on the show, such as ducking behind a

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

rock, peeking out, rolling on the ground to the next rock. Gwen, 
Alex and Fred just stroll down casually behind him.

GWEN
How does the rolling help, actually?

JASON
It helps.

A beat.

GWEN
Where's your gun?

He pats his hip, the gun is gone.  It has obviously fallen over 
the cliff in his roll.

ALEXANDER
"It helps."

70	CLEARING ON THE RIDGE 70

Tommy keeps a lookout through the binoculars: Below, Jason and 
the others sneak into the compound and head toward the sphere.  
The abandoned compound is spooky.  A battered metal door sways in 
the wind with a CREAK

GWEN
Those blue things ate everybody here?

ALEXANDER
It doesn't make sense... Surely they could have fortified the 
compound against those creatures...

Fred passes a metal console with a number of broken 
viewscreens... One, however is partially intact.  Fred pushes a 
button and the viewscreen lights up with a blurry VIDEO PLAYBACK 
of MAYHEM: Through a DUSTSTORM we see a number of ALIEN MINERS 
run panicked through the compound. We hear thunderous CRASHES, 
like FOOTSTEPS  A TERRIFIED MINER - face wrapped in cloth except 
for the eyes - stares into the camera, mumbling, out of his mind 
with fear.

MINER
Gorignak!... Gorignak!...

The image goes blank... The actors look at each other.

JASON
Anybody want to wait around to find out what a "Gorignak" is?

(MORE)

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

JASON (cont'd)
    (they shake their heads "no")
Let's do this.

GWEN
Clenched jaw...

JASON
Will you stop RIDING ME?!

7l	ON THE RIDGE	71	

Tommy looks down onto the compound with binoculars to see Jason 
and the others below moving toward the beryllium sphere.  He PANS 
to the compound. Good, no blue children.

GUY
I know what it is... I know what it is... It's not what's ON the 
planet. It IS the planet...

As Guy continues to babble his theory, TOMMY pans back and forth 
between JASON and the others at the SPHERE, and the deserted 
COMPLEX... Jason and the others start to ROLL the sphere. It 
moves forward with a ....... We PAN OVER to see a blue HAND 
emerge from one of the structures... Tommy looks concerned.

GUY (O.S.)
There's a life force here. The blue things... Did you see how 
they moved? Careful. Quiet. Like they didn't want something 
DISTURBED....

TOMMY'S POV from THE SPHERE RUMBLING forward to THE DEMON 
CHILDREN EMERGING FROM THE MINING STRUCTURES.

TOMMY
Oh.  Shit.

72	DOWN AT THE MINING COMPOUND	72

Jason and the others strain to push the boulder toward the 
incline.

JASON
C'mon, push!  Never give up, never surrender!

EVERYONE
Oh shut up!..

Suddenly they all FREEZE as they notice the returning DEMONS. The 
monsters gather around them, forming a vicious circle of 
slavering teeth. Silence for a beat, then:

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)	QA.

TOMMY ON VOX (0.5.)
Caw! Caw!	

ALEXANDER
Spare me.

Suddenly a series of MAGNITO-PISTOL BLASTS ring out, melting 
random pieces of equipment, walls and putting holes in the 
walkways... The aliens SCATTER for cover.  Gwen and the others 
turn to see TOMMY coming with the gun in his hand, followed by 
Guy.

TOMMY
Sorry Guys... It just went off.

JASON
Good work, Tommy.  Let's go!

They PUSH the over the lip of the incline. It starts to roll on 
its own...

73	INCLINE	73

Jason and the others run with all their might to keep up with the 
sphere. Jason looks over his shoulder then turns forward.

JASON
Don't look back. DO NOT look back.

Gwen can't resist.  She looks back to see... HUNDREDS OF BLUE     
* DEMONS coming over the hillside like a TIDAL WAVE.

74	NEAR THE SURFACE POD	74	

The actors roll the sphere to the pod and up the pod ramp. But 
the boulder now blocks the pod door. Gwen helps Guy inside, then 
squeezes through herself, followed by Tommy.  Alexander and Jason 
both motion each other forward.

ALEXANDER
Go ahead!

JASON
You go first! There's no time!

ALEXANDER
Oh, of course, I forgot! YOU have to be the hero, don't you?... 
Heaven forbid anyone else get the spotlight once! Oh no, Jason 
Nesmith couldn't possibly-

Jason cold cocks him, knocking him unconscious and lifts him 
through, then starts to squeeze through himself.

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

75	INT. SURFACE POD 	75

JASON
Tommy, I'm in, push go now!

Tommy pushes the button when suddenly Jason is GRABBED BY THE 
ANKLE by FIVE PAIRS OF DEMON HANDS and dragged back outside just 
as the door closes behind him.

GWEN
Oh my god! Tommy! Stop the pod! Stop the pod!

TOMMY
I can't...  It's on autopilot!...

As they pod ascends they all move to the window to watch 
horrified as Jason disappears into the middle of the huge blue 
mob that surrounds him.  Alexander regains consciousness, looks 
around.

ALEXANDER
He knocked me out the sonofabitch. Where is he?

GWEN
(horrified)
Down there.

Alexander joins the others, looks down at the blue mob below.

ALEXANDER
Oh right, of course... It's always about YOU, isn't it?!

76	EXT. PLANET SURFACE	76

Back at the surface Jason is surrounded by the menacing DEMONS, 
who stare down at him with their chilling SMILES. Their strange 
whispered language is translated into SUBTITLES.

DEMON #1
What do you suppose it is?

DEMON #2
(momentarily introspective)
I don't know. Strange, it looks like a child.

DEMON #1
What should I do?

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

DEMON #2
Hit it with a rock. Then we'll eat it.

Demon #1 lifts a rock and Jason doesn't have time to object 
before the demon CLUBS him.  They lean in, their mouths opening 
for the kill when a SHADOW washes over them. A Blue Demon looks 
up over his shoulder, TERRIFIED. He whispers a meek...

DEMON
Gorignak...

77	INT. SURFACE POD BAY	77

The pod door opens and Gwen, Alexander and the others exit, out 
of breath. They're greeted three of the Generator Room Techs, as 
well as Teb.

GWEN
We got the Sphere but the Commander's down there with a bunch of 
cannibals!  Teb, reset the pod, we're going back.

TOMMY
That thing's not going to get us down there fast enough.  Face 
it, he's dead.

GWEN
Wait, Fred, what about your thing, you know... "Digitize me, 
Sergeant Chen!"

FRED
...The digital conveyor.

GUY
Of course... We'll just zap him up with the digital conveyor!

TOMMY
Do we have one of those, Teb?

Teb nods. They exit running. Fred looks a little unsure...

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

78	INT. CORRIDOR		78

Gwen, Alexander, Fred, Tommy, Guy and the technician Teb run down 
the hallway. Huffing, Alexander turns to Gwen.

ALEXANDER
You said "the Commander.

GWEN
What?

ALEXANDER
Back there. You said "the Commander is down there with a bunch of 
cannibals."

GWEN
No I didn't.

ALEXANDER
Yes you did.

TOMMY
I heard it too.

GWEN
Is this really the most important thing we could be talking about 
right now?

EXT. PLANET SURFACE - ROCKY TRENCH

Jason lies unconscious on the ground.  We hear a SNORT and see 
his shoulder moved by a large alien SNOUT.  Jason opens his eyes 
to see a GRUNTING BEAST, like an oversized pig but

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)

somewhat reptilian. From above along the rock walls Jason can 
hear the sound of the blue demons WHISPERING...

DEMONS
Gorignak... Gorignak.

Jason rises quickly, reaches for his gun, but it's gone. Looking 
for a weapon, he quickly removes his shirt and SNAPS it at the 
beast, trying to drive it away.  The beast CHOMPS at him, holding 
its territory. Suddenly Gwen's voice sounds.

GWEN (ON VOX) 
Jason.. Can you hear me?

JASON
Yes. Yes, I'm here!

80	INT. SHIP - DIGITAL CONVEYER ROOM	80

Gwen, Alexander and the others watch Jason on a viewscreen.

GWEN
Thank God. Are you okay?

JASON
Yeah. But I've got Gorignak staring me in the face. I think I can 
take it though...

GWEN
Jason, we're going to use the digital conveyer to get you out of 
there.

Jason swipes at the pig lizard. It HISSES at him petulantly.

JASON
The digital conveyer?  You mean I'm going to get diced into cubes 
and sorted up there in a thousand pieces?

FRED
Right.

JASON
I'll take my chances with Gorignak.

The pig Lizard NIPS at Jason. Jason throws a rock at it.

GWEN
Jason, we've got to get you out of there. It's perfectly safe, 
isn't it, Teb?

TEB
It has never been successfully tested.

JASON
What?  What did he say?

GWEN
Nothing. Hold please.

She switches off the vox, they turn to Teb.

TEB
Theoretically the mechanism is fully operational. However, it was 
built to accommodate your anatomy, not ours. Our actual hands are 
six fingered and jointed ninety degrees to yours. But now that 
Sergeant Chen is here he can operate it... It was designed 
watching his motions from the historical records.

Everyone turns to Fred.  For the first time, he looks a little 
apprehensive. He laughs nervously.

FRED
Well I mean I can't... I can supervise of course, but...

ALEXANDER (TO VOX)
Jason, we're going to test it.

JASON
Okay... On what?

TOMMY
How about the pig-lizard?

JASON
Hey I was doing okay with the pig lizard.

Alexander and the others move aside to let Fred at the control 
panel. The controls are complicated, and fit Fred's hand like 
metal gloves.  Teb GASPS as he grasps the controls.

TEB
I'm sorry. It is very exciting to see the master at the controls. 
The operation of the conveyer is more art than science.

Fred moves his hands and the creature is TARGETED in crosshairs 
of the instrument panel.  He slowly twists his wrist as he 
manipulates a  ever cautiously and....

81	ON THE PLANET'S SURFACE	81

The pig lizard digitizes and disappears.

82	CONVEYOR ROOM	82

Everyone LOOKS very impressed.  Fred starts to smile,  "no sweat" 
as the creature rematerializes on the platform.  But something is 
very wrong.  We hear the thing's HORRIBLE SQUELS over the 
disgusted reactions of the crew. 

JASON
What?  What?

ALEXANDER
(singsong)
Nothing.

JASON
I heard something. A squeal.

GWEN
Oh no. Everything's fine.

TEB
But... the animal is inside out.

JASON
I heard that! It's INSIDE OUT!

Then the monstrous remains of the creature EXPLODES.

TEB
And It exploded!

JASON
What? Did I just hear that It came back INSIDE CUT, and 'then It 
EXPLODED? Hello?

GWEN
Hold please.

83	PLANET SURFACE	83

Jason looks up to the rock ledge. The unseen DEMONS continue to 
chant "GORIGNAK... GORIGNAK...

JASON
Wait, the pig lizard is gone. Why are they still chanting for the 
pig lizard?

GWEN
Turn on the translation circuit.

Teb flicks a switch and we hear the Demons in English.

DEMONS
ROCK... ROCK... ROCK...

Suddenly Gwen and the others notice that the entire ROCK FACE 
behind Jason moves slightly, like a granite MUSCULATURE... Jason, 
facing forward, doesn't see it. 

GWEN
Jason?...  I don't think the pig lizard was Gorignak...

JASON
What the hell are you talking about?

Behind Jason, the boulders in the wall begin moving forward, 
EMERGING from the rock face, and a GIANT emerges... A MONSTER 
made of granite... Jason turns slowly, with a feeling of dread, 
as he hears the rumbling SOUND of the monster's body freeing 
itself from the rock face around It

JASON
Oh darn.

He takes a step back, holding his puny wooden spear.  The ROCK 
MONSTER steps forward, 20 feet tall. Its face mostly featureless 
yet ominous and determined and upset, and it heads straight for 
JASON.

JASON
Guys, digitize me...

Jason backs away slowly, around the corner, but the monster 
follows CRUNCH CRUNCH forward...

JASON
Guys...?!!

84	INT. SHIP - DIGITAL CONVEYER ROOM	84

Fred looks genuinely distressed.

GWEN
C' non Fred... They based it on YOUR hand movements. 

Fred backs away, terror on his face... He starts talking to 
himself nervously...

FRED
All my professional life they'd say "can you ride a horse" Fred? 
And I'd say "Of course, since I was a boy!"  "Can you fence 
Fred?" "Funny you should ask, I've won six international 
competitions."  I learned never to say I can't do this.  You 
don't get the part if you say I can't do this.  But this is life 
or death!  May God forgive me Jason but I can't do this.  

85 ON THE PLANET

Jason is in a FULL OUT RUN being chased by the ROCK MONSTER which 
STOMPS forward, DEMOLISHING everything in its path.

ALEXANDER
Fred's no good, Jason. You're going to have to kill it

JASON
KILL IT? Well I'm open to ideas!...

TOMMY
Go for the eyes. Like in episode 22 with-

JASON
It doesn't have eyes.

TOMMY
The throat, the mouth... Its vulnerable spots.

JASON
It's a ROCK. It doesn't HAVE vulnerable spots!

GUY
I know...  You contruct a weapon.  Look around, can you form some 
sort of rudimentary lathe?...
 
JASON
A LATHE??? Get off the line, Guy.'

The monster's shadow falls over Jason..

JASON
ALEXANDER??? PLEASE? You're my advisor, advise me!

ALEXANDER
... . Well  you have to figure out what it wants... What's its 
motivation?

JASON
It's a DAMN ROCK MONSTER!!! It doesn't HAVE motivation!

ALEXANDER
That's your problem.  You were never serious about the caraft...
(closing his eyes)
"I'm a rock... I just want to be a rock... Still. Peaceful.. 
Tranquil.." ..."Oh, but what's this?  Something's making noise... 
No, not noise, no... MOVEMENT.  VIBRATIONS.  Make the vibrations 
stop, they go straight into me like a knife!... I must CRUSH the 
thing that makes the vibrations..."

JASON
Am I crazy, or do you actually have something there?

Jason reaches down and grabs a handful of small rocks. But at 
that moment the rock monster reaches down and GRABS him in his 
fist. Jason is carried into the air and dangled above the beast's 
mouth. Jason keeps his composure enough to toss one of the rocks 
at a natural rocky OVERRANG along one wall. The thrown rocks 
dislodge a few more rocks in the wall which TUMBLE to the ground, 
making NOISE.  The rock monster TURNS toward the sound.  The 
monster drops Jason.  Jason lands, throws another rock. The 
monster CHARGES toward the wall, causing an AVALANCHE, burying 
the monster. All is still.

86	IN THE SHIP 	 86

The actors CHEER, but their relief is short lived as...

87	ON THE PLANET - 	87
The rubble RE-FORMS and the monster EMERGES, even LARGER than 
before! It begins to make a beeline for a perplexed Jason.

JASON
But I'm not moving, I... Oh no. My heartbeat.

IN THE ROCK MONSTER'S POV we head toward Jason and hear Jason's 
heartbeat magnified like a drum, THA-THUMP THA-THUMP.

JASON
Fred?  Fred, can you hear me?  You've got to do this... It's up 
to you.

88	ON THE SHIP -.	88

Fred moves to the panel, mortified.

FRED
No, I'll kill you. .

JASON
Listen Fred. You did this for four years on the show. You can do 
it now... Put your hands on the controls.. 

Fred puts his trembling hands on the controls... Sweat pours down 
his temple.  

FRED
I don't know... I don't know.

The monster picks up speed. STOMP STOMP STOMP.

JASON
Fred, I worked summer stock with Hopkins. Regional theater with 
Hoffman. But I swear to God I have never met an actor who could 
hit his mark, or nail his lines with the professional consistency 
of a Freddy Kwan. You're Mr. Dependable... You can do this.

FRED
You worked with Hopkins? I worship Hopkins.

Fred draws confidence from these words. The Monster is upon 
Jason... It raises its fist...

JASON
Digitize me, Fred. 

A moment of concentration - as everybody holds their breath - and 
then Fred works the controls.  Jason is STILL THERE and.. 

89   THE MONSTER SMASHES DOWN HIS FIST RIGHT DOWN ONTO JASON.... 
at the very moment he digitizes. The fist goes right through the 
scattering blocks. Everybody on ship holds their breath and 
watches the..

90	DIGITIZING PLATFORM 	90

Jason's body Instantly DUCKS and CONTORTS to avoid the ROCK FIST 
that moments ago descended uoon him. Everyone runs up to him as 
he regains his composure, celebrating, hugging him and patting 
him on the back. Even Alexander looks relieved, but won't admit 
it.

ALEXANDER
I see you managed to get your shirt off.

Jason looks over and sees Fred still at the controls, drenched. 
He moves to him and shakes his trembling hand.

4/26/99	(PINK)

FRED
As good as Hopkins?

JASON
Hopkins can't drink your bathwater Fred.

Fred wells with pride.  Jason turns to the others.

JASON
All right folks, let's get the hell out of here...

JASON
Mathesar, we're back up and on our way to the command deck. 
Mathesar? Come in Mathesar?  Teb? Quellek? What's going on? Where 
is everybody?

Gwen pushes a button on the monitors to see... SARRIS'S SHIP 
OUTSIDE. Gwen punches another button and video panels light up 
showing... SARRIS' MEN ALL OVER THE SHIP. IN THE GENERATOR ROOM, 
THE HALLWAYS, THE COMAAND DECK... An INFESTATION.

TOMMY
NO NO NO.

JASON
We've got to get out of here.  C'mon, hurry

But as they head toward the door, it OPENS, revealing SARRIS AND 
A DOZEN OF HIS MEN, guns drawn.  The actors. back away, except 
for Jason who stands his ground as Sarris approaches.

JASON
Listen Sarris, just hold on, just-

But Sarris BACKHANDS him brutally. Jason crashes to the floor.  
Jason starts to stand, wiping blood from his mouth, but with a 
nod from Sarris, six of his men surround Jason and begin to kick 
and beat him on the ground brutally...

91-92	OMIT

93	INT. BARRACKS/PRISON	93

The row of barracks down the long hallway have been converted to 
prison cells. From inside these the hundreds of captured ALIENS 
watch in despair as JASON, BLOODY AND BEATEN, is led down the 
corridor. Sarris, his guards and the other crewmembers follow 
behind.  Weak and semi-conscious from the beating, Jason stumbles 
and falls.  Sarris produces a device and applies it to Jason's 
neck. Jason cries out, his entire

4/26/99	PINK)

body convulses. The aliens push against the cell doors come to 
his aid, but the guards beat them back mercilessly.

SARRIS
If you cannot walk, Commander, then I suggest you crawl.

Jason hesitates. Sarris SHOCKS him again. Jason finally rises and 
slowly begins to CRAWL forward. Everyone is silent. Numb.

94	INT. MEDICAL DECK	94

The area has been converted to an interrogation chamber. Jason is 
led in with the others.  Sarris' men interrogate a man strapped 
to a table.  They move aside to reveal Mathesar, barely alive.  
But as he sees Jason, a ray of hope lights up behind his eyes. He 
smiles.

MATHESAR
Commander.  Thank God you're alive... Now you will face justice, 
Sarris.

SARRIS
(laughs)
At every turn you demonstrate the necessity for your 
extermination. The qualities of your species... Ridiculous 
optimism, like little children. Building, always building. But 
what you spend years to create, I take from you in days. 
(to Jason) 
Do you wish to save this man's life, Commander? And the life of 
your crew?

JASON
Yes.

SARRIS
Then tell me one thing... What does it do, the device? The Omega 
13.

JASON
I don't know.

Sarris twists a dial.  Mathesar writhes in pain on the table.

SARRIS
Is it a bomb?  A booby trap?  Tell me!

JASON
Stop, please! I don't know!

SARRIS
Prepare a tear harness for the female...

JASON
No! I swear I don't know! Please!

SARRIS
Do you think I'm a fool? That the Commander does not know every 
bolt, every weld of his ship?

Gwen fights the guards valiantly as they drag her to a table.

JASON
But I'm not! I... I'm not the Commander!

Sarris turns, Interested. He motions his guards to halt.

SARRIS
Wait. What did you say?

JASON
Please, don't hurt them, it's not their fault. I'm not the 
Commander, I don't know anything.

Mathesar looks at him, bewildered. Sarris looks Intrigued.

SARRIS
Explain -

JASON
Gwen. The show. There's no choice. Do it.

GWEN
Computer, play the historical records of the GALAXY QUEST 
missions.

A screen lights up with the opening of the first GALAXY QUEST 
episode.  We see the various actors in their roles, freeze framed 
in action poses, intercut with the ship speeding through space.

Sarris watches, captivated.  Realization dawns on his face. He 
begins to laugh.  Sarris turns to Mathesar, beaten and bloody, 
but hope lightening in his eyes as he watches the show.  That 
tickles Sarris even more, he ROARS with laughter.

SARRIS
Oh, this is wonderful.  Wonderful.  I treated you as a foe, but 
no... You have done greater damage to these poor fools than I 
ever could have. Bravo!... Bravo!

He puts his arm around Jason and leads him to face Mathesar.

SARRIS
Tell him.  This is a moment I will treasure. Explain who you 
really are.

Jason looks up at Mathesar. A long pause.

JASON
My name is Jason Nesmith. I'm an actor. We're all actors.

SARRIS
Our dimwitted friends don't understand the concept of acting. 
They have no theater, no imagination these scientists.

JASON
We pretend...

SARRIS
Simpler.

JASON
We.. We lie.

SARRIS
Yes... You understand THAT, don't you, Mathesar?...

Mathesar looks up at Jason, bewildered.

JASON
I'm not a Commander, there is no National Space Exploration 
Administration. There is no snip.

MATHESAR
(perplexed, points to TV) But there it is!...

JASON
A model, only as big as this.

MATHESAR
But... Inside, I have seen-

JASON
Sections of rooms made of plywood. Our Beryllium Sphere was 
painted wire and plaster. The digital conveyor was Christmas 
lights... Decorations.  It's all a fake.  I'm not him...
(looks at Gwen) 
I'm a nothing. A nobody.

4/26/99	(PINK)

MATHESAR
But...Why? 

JASON
It's difficult to... On our planet we pretend in order to... 
entertain.

Mathesar just stares.  Sarris watches, eyes twinkling.

JASON
That's how I make my living. Pretending to be somebody else. 
Pretending to be Commander Peter Quincy Taggart... I'm... I'm so 
sorry Mathesar...

Mathesar looks away, his eyes hollow, all hope gone.

SARRIS
Now you know.  This entire world you've concocted. All based on 
nothing. Your beliefs... your hopes... All a dream. A wisp of 
smoke. Now there is only pain.

Sarris moves to his Lieutenant, RAK LATHE.

SARRIS
Lieutenant Lathe, I confess I am beginning to feel a bit foolish 
myself. Chasing across the universe to obtain what is, I am now 
certain, a bauble of fiction. Tell me how best to obliterate this 
vessel? I would like nothing to remain.

LATHE
The core could be hardwired to overload without much effort.

MATHESAR
Sarris. What about my men?

Yes, you're right. Much too easy a death for the trouble you have 
caused me. Lieutenant, open a vent on level "C" and let the 
outside in a bit for our  friends.

A beat. Enraged, Jason LUNGES for Sarris, but his men quickly 
beat him down brutally.

SARRIS
I guess an actor is not the same as a Commander after all.

4/26/99	PINK

He turns to his guard, motioning to Jason and the others.

SARRIS
Release them, Sergeant... Into space.

The Guard nods and escorts them out.  Sarris turns to

Mathesar and raises the torture control with a sick smile.

95	INT. AIRLOCK CHAMBER

COMPUTER VOICE (O.S.)
Core overload. Emergency shut down overridden. Core implosion 
estimated in nine minutes...

Jason and the others enter, escorted by the guards. Guard #1 
pushes a button and the Airlock door opens with a WHOOSH.

GUARD #2
You two. Go.

Jason and Alex start toward the airlock. Jason simply hangs his 
head.

ALEXANDER
Well, how does it feel, Jason? Was it worth it? Hundreds of 
innocents to die because of you... How does it feel?

GUARD #1
Get in. Hurry up.

They enter the airlock.

ALEXANDER
Hundreds dead, all so you could play at being the Commander.' 
You've murdered us all you egomaniacal sonofabitch!

JASON
Shut up.' Just shut up you purple skinned monstronsity,

Alexander LUNGES at Jason, striking him in the face. They tumble 
outside of the airlock, fighting.  The guards smile, enjoying the 
fight. Jason quickly overpowers Alexander and punches him 
repeatedly, his anger taking hold.  They lock in a mutual 
strangulation hold.  Then Jason pulls free. He grabs Alex by the 
collar and pulls back for the crowning blow...

... and deals a punisher right past Alexander into the face of 
Guard #1!  Alexander turns, astonished, realizing it's all an 
act.  A FLASH of an appreciative smile, then he ELBOWS Guard

5/4/99	(GOLDENROD)	

#2 in the face.  The second guard's gun goes SKITTERING into the 
airlock as he drops unconscious. Guard #1 dives into the airlock 
to retrieve the gun, aims at Jason as suddenly the inner door 
SNAPS SHUT, and an instant later the outer door OPENS.  His -
GUNSHOTS ricochet against the glass as the GUARD is WHISKED 
THROUGH THE HOLD INTO SPACE, flailing silently into the vacuum. 
Everyone turns to see Fred taking his finger off the airlock 
button.

FRED
Hmmm. . A little sticky.  I'll get one of my boys up here with a 
can of WD-40.

Alexander turns to Jason, both out of breath.

ALEXANDER
"Purple skinned monstrosity...?"

JASON
I was staying in character.  "Egomaniacal sonofabitch?"

ALEXANDER
Sense memory. I see you got to win the fight...

JASON
I had the shot...

GWEN
Guys...

She motions to a row of security monitors... One labeled 
"ENVIRONMENTAL SYSTEMS DECK - C LEVEL" shows FOUR OF SARRIS' MEN 
straining at a large circular valve.  On another monitor we see 
DEBRIS rushing up to a vent in the BARRACKS area as AIR IS SUCKED 
OUT OF THE ALIENS' PRISON.  Teb and the other aliens pull on 
their prison bars in horror.

JASON
Let's go.

96	INT. CORRIDOR	96

The six of them run down the hallway.  Jason stops them and they 
duck into an alcove as a unit of Sarris' men jog past.

COMPUTER VOICE (O.S.)
Core implosion in four minutes...

JASON
Go on, give it a try, Gwen.

GWEN
computer, shut  own the core.

COMPUTER VOICE
Unable.  Memory checksum invalid. Core systems hardware damaged.

JASON
All right guys... Uh... Gwen and I are going to have to get to 
the core and shut it down manually. Fred, you and Guy need to get 
that air valve back on.  Alex, see if you can get the prison 
doors open downstairs in case Fred and Guy can't get the oxygen 
back in time.

TOMMY
Jason? What about me? What do I do?

JASON
Practice driving, Tommy.

They all split up, leaving Tommy standing there.

TOMMY
Practice driving?

97	INT. HALLWAY	97

Gwen and Jason hurry down the hallway, keeping a look out for 
Sarris' guards.

GWEN
So... We get to shut down the neutron reactor?

JASON
Right.

GWEN
Uh... I hate to break it to you Jason, but I don't know how to 
shut down a neutron reactor, and unless you took a Learning Annex 
course I don't know about, I'm pretty sure you don't know how to 
shut down a neutron reactor either.

JASON
No I don't. But I know somebody who does.

98	INT. BRANDON'S HOUSE - TARZANA - EARTH - DAY	98

Birds chirp outside pleasantly.

99	INT. BRANDON'S BEDROOM - DAY

The room of our #1 Galaxy Quest fan, BRANDON.  The fourteen year 
old sits at his computer, in uniform, gluing a tiny piece of 
plastic to his model of the Protextor. A knock on the door, and 
his mother enters. 

BRANDON'S MOM
Brandon?

BRANDON
Mother, I'm quite busy as you can see. The "C" rings on my 
booster unit came broken In the mail.

BRANDON'S MOM 
I'm sorry.  - made brownies.

BRANDON
Mother, I'm very busy. Well, maybe one. Thank you.

She exits. Brandon looks at his model with a sigh.  Suddenly he 
hears a familiar TONE. He cocks his head and turns to...

THE INTERSTELLAR VOX sitting on his table.  He starts to turn 
away, but it BEEPS again.  Slowly he reaches out, takes it in his 
hand and flips the switch.  We hear Jason's voice.

JASON (O.S.) 
Hello?... Hello is anyone there?...

Brandon stares at the thing, then looks around his room for signs 
of a practical joke.  He speaks into it quietly. 

BRANDON
... Hello?
BRANDON

100		INT. NSEA PROTECTOR - SPACE	100

Jason, holding his VOX, nods to Gwen... "Got him."

JASON
This Is Jason Nesmith. I play Commander Peter Quincy Taggart of 
the USEA PROTECTOR.

101	INT. BRANDON'S ROOM	101

Brandon stares at the vox for a very long moment.

BRANDON
... Yes?

JASON
We accidently traded Vox units when we bumped into each other on 
Saturday. 

BRANDON
Oh... Oh, I see. Oh.

JASON
What's  your name, son?

BRANDON
Brandon.

JASON
Brandon, I remember you from the convention, right?... You had a 
lot of little technical observations about the ship, and I spoke 
sharply to you...

BRANDON
Yes, I know, and I want you to know I thought about what you 
said... I know you meant it constructively but...

JASON
It's okay. Listen-

BRANDON
... But I want you to know that I am not a complete braincase, 
okay? I understand completely that It's just a TV show. There is 
no ship, there is no Beryllium Sphere, no diagital conveyor...    
I mean, obviously it's all just a-
 
JASON
It's real, Brandon. All of it, It's real.

BRANDON
(no hesitation)
I knew it!... I KNEW it!... 

JASON
Brandon.. . The crew and I are in trouble and we need your help.

The look on Brandon's face is indescribable.

102  INT. MEDICAL QUARTERS	102

Sarris' first lieutenant LATHE enters.

4/26/99	(PINK)

LATHE
General, your transport is ready for departure.

Sarris turns to exit, leaving Mathesar on the table, unconscious   
Next to him a VIEWSCREEN IMAGE shows the aliens in their cells, 
pulling at the bars.  Some are already unconscious from the lack 
of oxygen.

103	INT. MEDIA ROOM	103

Tommy, all alone, peeks into the room to makes sure it is empty, 
then enters and moves to a high tech case.  He pushes a button 
and a panel moves aside revealing a complete library of the 
GALAXY QUEST episodes... Like a high-tech shrine. Tommy moves his 
finger across the selections, picking one episode in particular 
with a smile...

104	INT. SHIP CORRIDOR	104

Alexander makes his way down the hall stealthily, avoiding 
Sarris' guards. He stops as he hears a NOISE from a utility 
compartment to his side.  Steeling his nerve, he opens the door 
and suddenly and a FIGURE jumps out. Both of them assume 
defensive stances, then Alexander recognizes him as QUELLEK, his 
young protege. Quellek beams.

QUELLEK
Sir, it's you  Thank Ipthar!

ALEXANDER
Quellek. What are you doing in there?

QUELLEK
I avoided capture using the Mak'tar stealth haze.  Where is 
everyone?

ALEXANDER
Come with me. I'll explain on the way.

105	INT. HALLWAY	105

Gwen and Jason turn a corner and stop. Jason speaks to vox.

JASON
Okay we're in C deck hallway 5. What now?

106	INT. BRANDON'S BEDROOM - CONCURRENT	106

Brandon inserts a GALAXY QUEST CDROM labeled TECHNICAL SYSTEMS 
into his computer.  A couple of clicks later, a 3D wire frame 
diagram of the ship appears.

BRANDON
Okav, there's a haton on the port wall.  It leads to a system of 
utility corridors through the bowels of the shop. 

107	INT. SHIP STORAGE BAY	CONCURRENT	C7

Jason searches on vain for the hatch.

JASON
There's no hatch. (losing faith) There's no hatch!

GWEN
Wait... Jason, Here!...

Gwen rushes a concealed button and the hatch slides open.

JASON
Okay, we got it.

BRANDON (0.S.)
Okay, you can go on in... I'm going to get Kyle. He knows the 
utility tunnel system better than anybody alive.

108  INT. BRANDON'S BEDROOM - CONCURRENT	108

Brandon punches some keys and Kyle pops up In a little CU-SEE ME 
window on the computer.


KYLE (ON MONITOR)
Hi Brandon.

BRANDON
No time for pleasantries, Kyle. We have a level five emergency. 
The Commander needs us to get him to the core and shut it down 
before it overloads.

KYLE
Oh.  Okay. 

BRANDON
You've got the utility systems walkthrough, right?

KYLE
I have sectors 1-28.  I think Hector has the upper levels.

BRANDON
We'd better get everybody online.  And Kyle, Stop downloading 
porn.  Your frame rate is unacceptable.

139  KYLE'S ROOM - CONCURRENT

An obviously faked nude picture of Gwen as Tawny Madison download 
slowly onto his screen. 

KYLE
I'm not downloading porn!

He clicks  on the picture.

110  INT. SHIP'S CORRIDOR SECTORS 30-50  110

Fred and Guy make their wav down the corridor, checking the 
numbered sectors as they pass.

FRED
Okay, sector 38... 39... 40. This is it.  The environmental 
systems are in here.  All we have to do is shut off the valve to 
the barracks...

They look through the window into the room to see... A HUNDRED of 
Sarris' men sitting inside, surrounding the large circular wheel 
that controls the valve.  Fred exchanges a look with Guy.  "All 
we have to do..." 

111	INT. MEDIA ROOM		111

Tommy sits at the desk watching an episode of GALAXY QUEST play 
on the screen.  The scene has young Laredo piloting the ship, 
dodging the weaving through a very silly giant paper mache 
monster floating in space.  But Tommy is dead serious.  He 
watches himself on the tape, mimicking his own piloting movies, 
using miscellaneous objects on the table as controls, and 
repeating his 80's catch phrase along with his alterego. 

BOTH TOMMYS 
Pedal to the metal, Commander....

112	INT. UTILITY TUNNELS		112

Jason and Gwen run through the tunnel system.

BRANDON (0.S.)
Okay, now left at the next turn... Past the oxygen units.  Make a 
right there. Then go through the antimatter vent...

JASON
Okay...  Okay, now what.

BRANDON (O.S)
Now make a right, you'll see a doorway that opens on the central 
manufacturing facility.  The bowels of the ship.  

Gwen and Jason turn right and their eves widen.

113	INT. CENTRAL MANUFACTURING CAVERN (BOWELS)

Dante's Inferno.  Down below, a huge automated facility for ship 
construction and maintenance.  Moving elevators and conveyor 
belts move through a maze of scaffolding and overhangs.  Glowing 
rivers of molten metal run past giant swinging hammers, robot 
arms, and crushing machines.

BRANDON
Commander, do you have a camera?  I'd die to see this in 
person... All they showed on T,V was a machine here, and a wall 
here... I don't know why they didn't show the whole thing.

JASON
(awed)
We'd never have the budget for this.

BRANDON
Okay, so do you see a door marked "CORE UNIT?" Should be down at 
the far end to your left.

On the other side of the room,  down a circuitous path through a 
dangerous gauntlet of machinery Jason spots such a door.

JASON
Yes...?

BRANDON
Okay, that's where you want to be.

Gwen and Jason look at each other, then... Giggle nervously. It's 
just so impossible.

114  INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE PRISON/BARRACKS	114

Alexander and Quellek arrive at the "prison area" hatch and look 
through the window...  n tneir cells, many of the aliens are 
already unconscious. Others valiantly attempt to open their cells 
with crudely constructed levers and battering rams, to no avail. 
Alex tries to open the door, to no avail.


AUELLEX
They're dying!

ALLXANDER
Here. Help me tear this down, we can use it as a battering ram. 

Quellek follows Alexander to a console, looking back at the 
prison.  Alexander puts his hand on his shoulder.

ALEXANDER
Don't worry, Quellek, it'll be okay...

Quellek seems comforted, but Alexander Isn't too sure.

115	INT. SHIP ENVIRONMENTAL SYSTEMS ROOM	115

Fred and Guy continue to watch Sarris' men, still surrounding the 
main valve.

FRED
We've got to get that valve turned off. Their oxygen Is almost 
gone...

GUY
Listen, I'll go in, create a distraction. have this...
(holds up the gun)
may be able to hold them back long enough for the aliens to 
escape.

FRED
It's suicide.

GUY
I'm just a glorified extra, Fred.  I'm a dead man anyway. If I'm 
going to die, I'd rather go out a hero than a coward.

FRED
Maybe you're the plucky comic relief, you ever think of that?

Guy cocks his head.  No, he hadn't thought of that.  Fred pats 
his shoulder.

FRED
Besides,   just had a really interesting idea.

116	INT. SARRIS' SHIP TO SHIP TRANSPORT

Sarris stands at the observation window as the transport makes it 
way toward his ship.  All but one of the other ships have left 
the area, and that ship is turning and heading toward a black 
hole in the distance... The TRANSPORT CHIEF next to him gets a 
message on his earpiece.

TRANSPORT CHIEF
Sir, the FALCON THREE Is launched and away, course set for Xactor 
Minor. FALCON ONE ahead. Four minutes to core overload.

SARRIS
Good... Good... All is in its place.

TRANSPORT CHIEF
General, I have just received word that the Commander of the 
PROTECTOR and his command crew have escaped custody. Their 
whereabouts are unknown.

SARRIS
What?

Suddenly a LIFELESS BODY CRASHES against the windshield like a 
bug. It's Sarris' jettisoned Guard. Sarris' eyes light.

SARRIS
Find them.

LATHE
But sir, my MEN. The core implosion is not reversible...

SARRIS
Find them.

117  INT. MANUFACTURING CAVERN (BOWELS)

Jason and Gwen make their way along a narrow catwalk above the 
manufacturing floor.  A row of ROBOT ARMS behind them move 
erratically.

JASON
We've cleared the robot arms. Now what?

118  INT. BRANDON'S ROOM	118

Brandon now has his whole CREW on separate windows of his 
computer screen, including fan KATELYN, wearing a "Tawny Madison" 
outfit.

KATELYN
Okay, Brandon, as I calculate it the shortest route is down the 
ladder near the quark accelerators.

OTHER NERDS
I concur.  She's right.  Very good.

BRANDON
High five, Katelyn.

He and the others hi-five, slapping their computer screens.

119  INT. MANUFACTURING CAVERN (BOWELS)	119

Jason and Gwen make their way down the ladder, and across a 
narrow beam over a LAVA POOL at a staggering height.

JASON
Brandon.. Just in case I die, there's something I have to know...

BRANDON
Yes Commander?

JASON
What does the Omega 13 do?

BRANDON
Well, that's the big question, isn't it? 

JASON
What do you mean? 

BRANDON
It's been the subject of an extremely heated debate on the 
internet for years. Many believe that is a matter collapser, a 
bomb capable of destroying all matter in the universe in a chain 
reaction lasting 13 seconds.

JASON
But you don't?

BRANDON
No,  I am of the firm belief that in reality it is not a matter 
killer, but a matter REARRANGER, converting all molecules to the 
exact state they existed thirteen seconds previous to activation 
thus effecting a thirteen second time jump to the past. 

JASON
How did you come to that conclusion?

BRANDON
My cousin's boyfriend's sister went out with the screenwriter.  
His favorite movie is the Omegaman.  He's seen it 13 times...

KYLE
As you know I strenuously disagree with this theory, Brandon. if 
all molecules were rearranged, then everyone would be back in 
time 13 seconds rendering the device useless.

Suddenly a BLAST erupts next to Jason's head.  He and Gwen turn 
to see SARRIS' MEN shooting at them from across the room at the 
entrance to the cavern.  

JASON
Okay guys... Guys?

But the gang is still caught up in the debate.

KATELYN
No because the brain of the person who triggers the Omega 13 is 
not affected, so THAT person still has his memory after the time 
jump. And everything is as it was, a chance to redeem a single 
mistake or misstep.

BRANDON
Thank you, Katelyn. Excellent.

KATELYN
(flattered, shy)
You're welcome, Brandon.

Jason and Gwen RUN as Sarris men continue to snoot at them. 

JASON
BRANDON!	TIME TO GO!

BRANDON
Yes Commander... All right, you're almost there. Just go through 
the chompers and over the pit.

GWEN
"The chompers?"

They turn to see... THE CHOMPERS     An unavoidable gauntlet of 
HISSING HYDRAULIC SMASHING METAL HAMMERS AND BLADES jutting out 
from the sides, top, bottom and diagonally...
 
GWEN
Oh, fuck THAT.

More GUNFIRE from Sarris' men. Another BLAST melts a pole next to 
them.  Jason pulls his magneto-pistol and fires back at them. 
Sarris' men take cover.

JASON
Brandon, HOW?

120	INT. BRANDON'S ROOM	120

Brandon cradles a telephone on his shoulder.

BRANDON
Hollister, do you have the sequence yet?

121	INT. HOLLISTER'S ROOM	121

Another one of Brandon's pals, HOLLISTER, watches a tape of the 
show, fast viewing one sequence backwards and forwards over and 
over;  ON THE TV, we see the cheap painted cardboard version of 
the crushers. A cheesy fish headed ALIEN MONSTER chases Jason 
through the crusher but is toppled by one of the crushers and 
falls into the fake looking lava pit. Hollister times the pattern 
of the crushers with a stopwatch.

HOLLISTER
Okay, the pattern is two.. two... four... two... three... 
eight... two...

BRANDON
You're sure they repeat like that? It's sort of extremely 
important.

Cut from the cardboard props to the REAL THING.

122  THE MOMMOTH CRUSHERS

Gwen and Jason watch as they SMASH and GRIND back and fourth...

GWEN
What IS that thing? It serves no useful purpose to have a bunch 
of CHOPPY CRUSHY things in the middle of a CATWALK!?.'

JASON
Gwen...

GWEN
We shouldn't have to DO this!  It makes NO LOGICAL SENSE! Why is 
it HERE?

JASON
Because it was on the show!

GWEN
Well forget it!  I'm not going.  This episode was badly written!

BRANDON
Commander, you and Lt. Madison will have to go through the 
crushers one at a time in three second intervals. Tell me when 
the first crusher hits the bottom...

JASON
Okay, now. But-

BRANDON
Wait two seconds then go.

Another BLAST from Sarris' men weakens the catwalk...

JASON
No, wait, are you-

BRANDON
Lt. Madison, GO.

JASON
Shit! Go!

BRANDON
GO Commander.

Jason and Gwen run through the CHOMPERS. It is a series of CLOSE 
ESCAPES, timed just a FRACTION late, so at one point Gwen must 
use all her strength to pull a SLEEVE caught In the works before 
a second hammer comes down where her body was a moment before  
Jason DIVES through a quickly diminishing hole, his MAGNETO-
PISTOL falling behind him, quckly SMASHED to oblivion by a 
closing slab.

BRANDON
Stop.

Jason stops, catching Gwen's leg just as... A HAMMER SMASHES 
right In front of her, barely missing her head.

BRANDON
Go.
They're off again.

BRANDON
Up.

JASON
What?  Up?

BRANDON
Berithium lava coming through. Use the handholds above you.

Here comes the lava down a chute ahead of them. Jason pulls Gwen 
up just as the lava comes through, sizzling the tips of her 
hanging hair.

GWEN
Whoever wrote this episode should DIE.

Thje lava passes, and they drop and continue on through the 
doorway as magneto blasts erupt around them...

123	DARKNESS	123
Jason and Gwen run through pitch blackness.

JASON (0.S.)
What the hell?... Brandon, Where are we?

BRANDON (0.5.)
I don't know. This part of the ship is completely undocumented.

GWEN (O.S.) 
Great... Just great.'

124	INT. DIGITAL CONVEYER ROOM	124

Fred and Guy are now in the digital Conveyor room. Very quiet 
compared to the mayhem in the bowels of the ship... Guy looks 
down at the panel with great anticipation, then up at Fred with a 
nervous smile. Fred gingerly takes hold of the digital conveyor 
controls.

GUY
This should be Interesting...

ON THE digital CONVEYOR DISPLAY: We see crosshairs target an 
object... The vague outline is that of a man, but blocky, 
misshapen. We recognize it as THE ROCK MONSTER. Fred SMILES.

125 SHIP ENVIRONMENTAL SYSTEMS ROOM

DOZENS OF SARRIS' MEN continue to surround the oxygen valve when 
suddenly THE ROCK MONSTER materializes right in the middle of the 
room behind them.  They turn, looking up at it Sarris' stunned 
men CLICKS his transmitter button... The monster DESCENDS in an 
instant...

126	DIGITAL CONVEYOR ROOM

Fred and Guy watch the mayhem on the a monitor, contemplative.

FRED
It's the simple things In life you treasure.

127	HALLWAY

The MONSTER chases a group of Sarris' men down a dead-end 
hallway.  Sarris' men have nowhere to go as the monster bears 
down on them, and CRASHES through the hull, taking himself and 
everyone else OUT INTO SPACE.

128	 SPACE

The rock monster tumbles gently through the vacuum or space. The 
monster's jaws move in a silent SUBTITLED roar:

ROCK MONSTER
Ah, sweet tranquility at last.

129	INT. SHIP ENVIRONMENTAL SYSTEMS ROOM

The room is now emptied of Sarris' men.  Guy and Fred enter and 
move to the large valve, straining to turn it.  Slowly, the 
pressure normalizes.

130	INT OUTSIDE BARRACKS HALLWAY

Working together, Qlexander and Quellek are now using a makeshift 
BATTERING RAM on the door.  A readout BLINKS.

QUELLEK
Sir! The pressure.  It's normalizing.

ALEXANDER
Open. 

The door opens and Alexander enters.  He runs to a panel down the 
hall and turns the switch.  All the cell doors open.  He runs to 
one of the cells and helps a few of the men to their feet.  They 
turn to Alexander, gratitude in their faces. 

ALIEN #1
We are saved!  He has saved us.'

Alexander suppresses a smile, preparing to feign modesty...

ALIEN #1
Commander Taggart has saved us!

ALIENS
Hooray for Commander Taggart!  Long live Commander Taggart!

ALEXANDER
It's just not fair.

He moves to Quellek at the doorway.

ALEXANDER
Okay, Quellek, let's get back to the command deck and-Suddenly we 
hear a PISTOL BLAST and Quellek's chest turns RED. Alexander and 
Quellek look down at the blood, horrified.

QUELLEK
I'm... I'm shot.

He falls, CRUMPLED to the ground.  We see one of Sarris' GUARDS 
down the hall. He shoots again.  Alexander grabs Quellek's limp 
body and pulls him out of the line of fire.

ALEXANDER
Quellek... Quellek!

Quellek opens his eyes weakly. Alexander pulls aside his uniform 
to see the wound. It 's a mortal injury. Alexander uses all of 
his acting skills to disguise his shock.

ALEXANDER
Not so bad. We'll get you to medical quarters. You're going to be 
fine.

QUELLEK
I... I don't think I'm going to make it Sir...

ALEXANDER
No, don't talk like that, son. We're going to get you fixed up.

QUELLEK
... It has been my greatest honor to serve with you.  LIving by 
your example these years, my life has had meaning.  I have been 
blessed.  Sir, I... I...

He cringes in pain.  Alexander looks at him, full of emotion. 

ALEXANDER
Don't speak, Quellek.

QUELLEK
You'll forgive my impertinence, sir, but even though we had never 
before met, always considered you as a father to me.

Blood appears in the corner of Quellek's mouth, his life fading 
away. Alexander strokes his head, devastated. He looks him right 
in the eyes, his eyes welling with tears. Then with intensity, 
and absolute sincerity...

ALEXANDER
Quellek... By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Warvan... You 
shall be avenged.

Quellek's appreciation of this is Indescribable. A tiny spark 
behind his eyes light up, and he smiles, completely content as he 
surrenders to death.

Tears fall down Alexander's cheek as he holds Quellek's limp 
body. Then a blast hits a corner nearby.  Alexander lays 
Quellek's head to the ground softly, then rises. There is an 
Intensity to him we haven't seen before... His eyes BURN.

Alexander moves into the hallway, fixing his attention on Sarris' 
man. The guard looks up, momentarily shaken; Alexander hooks 
truly ALIEN. His eyes afire with VENGENANCE.  Nervous, one guard 
fires twice, missing.  Alexander begins to RUN toward the guard, 
picking up speed. The guard tries to reload his gun but his eyes 
are locked on Alexander like a frightened animal and his 
cartridges clatter to the ground. Alexander ROARS like a 
creature, baring his teeth It the final moments...  The guard 
stands there as he meets his death, so terrified he can only 
mutter a single word..

Guard
...mother.

as ALEXANDER envelopes him like a force of nature.

131	INT. DARKNESS (UNDOCUMENTED AREA)	131

Jason and Gwen make their way forward in the darkness... They are 
stopped as they hit a pitch black wall.

JASON (O.S.)
Brandon, there's a wall.

BOOKMARK - More Clean Up to Come!

BRANDON
Oh, good, you should be at tunnel.  se one oomtutor to ooet one 
blast sections on sea'uenoe.

GWEN (0.5.
--~omputer, open the fIrst blast sectoon.

;"e see a shaft of LIGHT as a nuae meta  BLOCK rises, and thev 
enter a tunnel that dead ends about b reet on.

GWEN
Computer, open the second blast sectoot.

Ahother 6x6 foot block slides up, the tunnel lengthens. They turn 
as they hear the sound of Sarris' Men In the distance behind 
them.

h32  BLAST TUNNEL - Gwen and Jason run as fast as they can 
throu~2 the tunnel, the blocks rising one by one in front of 
them.

G'EEN
Computer, open blast sections
15, 16,17,18,19.
133  INT. POWER CORE ROOM	133

A doorway appears and Jason and Gwen emerge from blast tunnel 
into a large soherical room with a console on the center.

COMPUTER VOICE (O.S.)
Detonation in sixty seconas...

JASON
Okay Branoon,   think onis Os

He moves to a control panel on the console.  There is large blue 
button under a glass flap. A visible COUNTER alon~side.

JASON
I'm at the control oaneh. What do I do?

BRANDON
Raise the glass and push the blue button.

JASON
That's It?

BRANDON
Yeah. What's wrong?
JASON
~~othIno. I -ust oncuont ot wou~o oc oomooooateo onan onat.

He reaches for the button when suddeth;' SHOTS RING  UT. Sarrls' 
met ao~ear on the doorway.

SARRIS' GUARD #1 Raise your hands, NOW.

They raise their hands as the computer continues countino oown in 
the background... "45 seconds... 44...,'

JASON
Listen, I'm going to just push this button, then we'll talk about 
whatever-

Thev fire a BLAST and he raises hIs arms again.

GWEN
You don't understand! This ship is going to explode!

SARRIS' GUARD #1
The General warned us of your tricks.
He pulls his pistol and levels It	But Gwen... SMILES.

GWEN
You must be the smart one. And so tal~

She starts toward Guard 1 seductively.  -Jason looks up from 
tounter, stunned, as she moves rloho uo to him.  The second ouaro 
raises nos out oe:ensivelv.  She oushes Lt asioe.

GWEN
Relax. This is between me and him... May


She reaches up to touch the tendrIls on Guard l's head. Suard 2 
moves to prevent this, but Guard #1 brushes his hand
-tsioe... "alhow her."

GWEN
Hmmm.  So so~t...

GUARD 4.2
Gar, our orders are to kill them.

n due time.

GUARD ~l
GWEN -oont'd) "Gar." Is tnat -our name?  "Car." nice...

Car hooks into her eves wot~ ~ust. Guard 3 h   noredulous.

GUARD 2
Gar, this Is sick. It is as of to SeeK pleasure 'qith an 
animal...

GWEN
He isn't too popular with the ladies, is he? (Gar smiles) Maybe 
they could leave us alone for a while?  Just you and me.

GUARD #1
(sees throuah her scheme) No, alien slut. On my planet, we snare.

He looks at the others. The three of them be~in to LAUGH, and 
start toward Gwen. Jason rises, but Gwen is already on it.

GWEN
Computer, we're going to need some privacy... Close blast section 
29 please.

Guard #1's smile drops immediately and he doesn' _ ~ven have time 
to scream as THE SECTION BLOCK DROPS IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE,  
rushing the whole lot of them to petroleum on an instant. GOO 
oozes from under the block. She turns to Jason.

GWEN
See? NOBODY takes me seriouslv on tn 5 tning.
(to oozing coo)
NOW how are you feeling, HUH?  Do you take me seriously NOW?  DO 
YOU?! !?

Jason flips up the glass as the computer counts down to "12" and 
SMASHES the Button. Then turns to Gwen, a big appreciative smile 
on his face. They share a silent moment. 7hen Gwen realotes oh-at 
the oounter Os ~-,     ountono down!

GWEN
Jason...

She moves to his side as he punches the button to no avail.. It 
just keeps counting down... I. .6.5. .4. .3.. Gwen and Jason 
embrace as they meet their final moments together... They CRINGE 
as the counter nots "1" and... STOPS. They look at each other, 
bewildered. Then Gwen sparks with realization:







-1
GWEN 0 ~D JASON
It ahwavs ooes to "h" on tne snow.

A beat.  They realoze tnev nave melted Into eac  otners' arms 
hike old lovers.  They separate aW~wardhv, a~  business. "Better 
get--going... Yeah, hook at one tome...  etc.
	- ~	~m	~~RI~'		 ~  DECK
	-- -	-~ .		SHIP	-   ~

Sarris' intellIgence officer approaches Sarris.

INTELLIGENCE OFFICER
Sir, the core detonation sequence on the Protector has been 
aborted.

SARRIS
Impossible... Impossible! Lieutenant, hock a complement of 
Implosion mIssiles onto the Protector. Tear her apart.

MUNITIONS OFFICER Yes sir.
135  INT. PROTECTOR - SHIP'S CORRIDOR	135

The HUNDREDS of freed ALIENS sweep through the corridor, 
overtaking the scattered remnants of Sarris' guards. Alexander 
fights alongside them, dealing crushing blows to two Guards at a 
time as the Aliens sweep around nim. Alexander and his character 
are now Indistinguishable. Jason and Gwen appear in the melee.

JASON
~hex!  Alex, are you oKav?

ALEXANDER
(faraway hook in his eye) Yes. Good was done this .....

JASON
Okay... Let's go, buddy, they can take It from here... I'mo-

Alexander has to be practically dragged away from fighting one of 
Sarris' men...
136  CORRIDOR TO COMMAND DECK	136

Jason, Gwen and Alexander run up the hall.  Fred and Guy appear 
from around a corner and they all keep runnino.

JASON
Anybody seen TommV?
I-ommv aoDears :rom tne ~eQia room.  Ihev ao  run as a team 
toward  ne commano necK.

JASON
We've act to aet tne olasma armor up before Sa~~-'   ~nds out 
we've aoorted the detonatIon...

COMPUTER VOICE (O.S.)
Warning. Enemv missiles launched.

GUY
I think he found out.

		lexander signals the door to onen and they run Into 
the
	11	COMMAND DECK	137
		They quickly take their stations.

JASON
Forward view!

In the central -viewscreen we see SARRIS'S SHIP dead ahead, 
having alreadv launched a VOLLEY OF WEAPONS riaht at them.


Armor uo!
JASON

GUY
Plasma armor etcagea.

Just In time. The ship 15 rocked, but not destroyed.

JASON
Okay Tommy. Go! Lose 'em! Into the mines!

GUY


JASON
Pedal to the metal Tommy...

TOMMY
(drawing confidence) Pedal to the metal...


Oh god...
GUY
Iommv eases onto the oas and thev ~	MI~)ES. 31/4 :::T.-ALCDN I

LATHE OQOKS at Sarris

SARRIS
nto tne oieoo. &o.

h37B INT. PROTECTOR
~7B
Tommy maneuvers the field with concentration and intensity. The 
mines WHIZ by...

JASON
Doing good Tommy. Real nice.

T-thanks.
TOMMY
JASON (cont'd)
You think you could-get any closer to those mines?

TOMMY
Closer? (smiles, realizing) I can try.

GWEN
What are you doing? What are thev doino?
~7C INT. SARRIS' SHIP	h37C

LATHE
enerao, I've host them. The maanetlsm o:
the field Is disrupting our onstru- ~ait. There they are

SARRIS
Get oacK on their tail.

LATHE


SARRIS
WHAT? WH(Y NOT?

LATHE
Because they're coming right at us.

SARRIS
(smiles)
Fire at will.
hI~D  NT. PROTECTOR

The Protector is ROCKED bv missoo-  ~	--    ourse stra~ght 
for the FALCON.

GUY
We~re oetting hammered, Jason.  Return fIre?

JASON
No. Keep all energy to the armor.

The ship moves straight toward Sarris' ship. An image of SARRIS 
appears on a viewscreen.

SARRIS
Well isn't this adorable. The actors have decided to play war 
with me...

GWEN
Sarris's ship is accelerating toward us at Mark 2...

JASON
Accelerate to Mark 4, Tommy.

SARRIS
This is embarrassing, really.   I shan't tell this story when I 
return home.

GWEN
He's accelerating to Mark 6.

JASON
Mark 12.

	138	OUTSIDE	138
		The two ships ROAR TOWARD EACH OTHER at terrifying 
speed.
	139	INT. COMMAND DECK	139


SARRIS
I will remind vou, sonny.   am a General.
I have seen war and death as you cannot
Imagine. If you are countIng on me to
blink, you are making a very deadly
mistake.
JASON
Let me ---~l -!Ou sometnonc, Sar~ooesn't taKe a oreat actor to 
recoonoce a bad one. You're sweatonQ

Indeed, a drot of sweat drips down Sarris' brow.  Jason  ixes his 
(oaze on Sarr~s ana. .. smijes.

SARRIS
FORWARD FULL.

GWEN
Armor almost gone, Jason.

ALEXANDER
Ten seconds to impact... Nine...

SARRIS
(smiles)
You fool. What you fail to realize is that without your armor my 
ship will tear throuah vours like tIssue paper.

JASON
Yeah. Well what you fail to realize is... I'm dragging mines.

Sarris' eyes lIght with horror as he realizes.

SARRIS
Oh no...

119A T:~-~rn  ?ROTECTOR	13 9A

WE CUT OUT TO THE PROTECTOR to see that It is indeed pulling 
along a large CLUSTER of mines in ItS wake!
l40-l~   OMIT	140-144
145  INT. PROTECTOR	145

Gwen sees the mites  or one :orst 'tome 0 She turns to Jason, 
astonisnea.

GWEN
never doubted you for a second.

JASON
TOMMY, 270 DEGREE TURN TO PORT!

Tommy TURNS and everybody digs in as the G-FORCES kick on.
	4;26;L9	PINK)
146  EXT. PROTECTOR
146

~e Protector VEERS sharplv but the mines continue  orward, oneir 
momentum carrying them straight toward the FALCON.

147  _NT  FALCON -1
147

SARRIS
NO! TURN! TURN! MY GOD NO!

Sarris dives at the controls as the viewscreen fills with
MINES...
148  EXT. FALCON 1	148

The mines TEAR INTO THE FALCON, EXPLODING, RIPPING THE CRAFT 
APART, millions of FRAGMENTS sent In all directions.

149  INT. PROTECTOR - COMMAND DECK
149

Jason stands, a clenched fist. The others CHEER! Yeah! YEAH!
GWEN

TOMMY AND OTHERS
We did It! Damn! We DID IT!
i50	INT. PROTECTOR HALLWAYS AND VARIOUS ROOMS	150

All over the ship the ALIENS CHEER their victory.
	INT. COMMAND DECK	151

Jason and the others turn as the door opens and Mathesar enters, 
helped along by two alien CREWMEN.  He is bandaged and has metal 
casts on an arm and leg. Jason helps him to the Commander's 
chair. They look at each other fondly.

JASON
*
Mathesar... You're alive. Thank God.

Mathesar hooks at Jason, the old twinkle back in his eyes.
Then a smile breaks out on his face, and he begins to
LAUGH...   ason stares at him with a bewildered smile.

JASON
Wha- What are you laughing about?

*
MATHESAR
The ship is a model... As big as this!... A very clever deception 
indeed!
He oan't oontaln hIs lauchter.  A belle-----TOMMY
Set a course for home, lommander?

JASON
You can oc that?

TOMMY
It's poInt and click. This thino practically flies itself.  We 
will have to go through that black hole though.

He motions out the viewscreen at the swirhlno BLACK HOLE...

JASON
Ahybody have any objections?

The rest of the crew exchange shrugs, battle hardened now.

JASON
Let's do it, Tommy.

TOMMY
Commander?... Call me Laredo?

JASON
Mark 20 Into the black hole,  areao.

They ROAR forward, picking up speed, shooting straioht into the 
center of the black hole the hull CREAKING and GROANING under the 
strain and it seems as if the ship Is about to rip apart, ....... 
SILDNCE... And everythito turns REALLY strance. z-oQie~  ~-~n 
onsioe out, molecules are scatterea, bodies melt to the ground 
IttO ouddles, 'then resolve themselves. Ahd then a loud EXPLOSION 
lIke a sonic BOOM as 'thev are rocketed out the other end.  
Planets roar past 'them like ~


We're out.'
GWEN

They all exchange relieved smiles.

GUY
We're alive!

TOMMY
We made It. Commander, we made it.'
m
ALEXANDER
sort ov)
By Grabtnar' s h~mmer, we  ove to te   ono 'tale.

COMPUTER (0 S.)
Systems register functional.

GWEN
(gleeful)
All systems are working, Commander.

JASON
How fast are we going, Tommy?

Tommy looks at his controls. Needles literally a blur.

TOMMY
Pretty fast.

Jason turns to look at THE VIEWSCREEN - EARTH is visible now, and 
they are HURTLING TOWARD IT FAST.

ALEXANDER
Jason, before we entered the black hole, my instruments detected 
strange energy surge from Sarris' shiD~ similar to...

JASON
No time to worry about that, Alex. Tommy, let's get this thing 
slowed down... Gwen, see if you can calculate the impact point.  
Guy, cet down to deck C and make sure tne injured are secured.  
Also lets-

He stops and turns as he notices the cabin door open... Standing 
in the doorway is FRED who smiles and walks into the room.  His 
manner Os stranoe, sinister... A slight limp.

JASON
Fred, what are you doing up here?  You should oct back downstaIrs 
until we-

But Fred suddenly does a very peculiar thing... He withdraws a 
MAGNETO-PISTOL from his belt, levels it at Jason. Jason smiles, 
bewildered. Is this a bizarre joke?


Fred?
JASON

FRED FIRES THE GUN.  The blast hits Jason in the chest.
	~/26/99	I-INK)




Everyone turns, thev can't belIeve their eyes.  Jason hooks at 
the blood spreading on his chest.  He takes a step forward, then 
another, stumbling weakly toward Fred. He grabs his collar and 
looks into his hollow eyes a moment before collapsing to the 
ground.  And as he goes, his hand hits a switch on the familiar 
box on Fred's belt... We recognize it
as APPEARANCE GENERATOR.

Fred's form flickers momentarily, then he TRANSFORMS into his 
true identity... It's SARRIS. Scarred, burned and bloody he looks 
like the devil himself. He smiles, raising his gun again, and 
begins FIRING...

Everything turns to SLOW MOTION as...

Tommy is hit. His body goes slumping over his console, pushing 
the ThRUST control full FORWARD.  The ENGINES roar hike a wounded 
animal.  Mathesar rises and tries to grab the gun, but Sarris 
backhands him, sending him flying across the room. Mathesar's two 
CREWMEN wrestle with Sarris. One is shot, sent tumbling 
backwards.  Alexander and Guy run to help the other crewman as he 
struggles with Sarris...

On the ground, Jason's eyes flicker at the carnage around him. 
It's like a nightmare, but all too horribly REAL. He tries to 
rise, but he isn't able...

Around him the bloodbath continues... Sarris FIRES wildly, 
shooting Gwen as she tries to reach Jason. She falls, her body 
sliding next to Jason.  Jason looks into her eyes as they dull to 
lifelessness. He YELLS grief stricken... Then lifts himself up 
with herculean effort and begins to drag himself 'toward the 
front of the room as...

Alexander, rushing Sarris, is HIT, clutching his neck... Guy 
manages to TACKLE Sarris, and he and the other alien wrestle with 
Sarris, trying to get the gun away... Alexander, fallen and life 
drifting away, looks over to see...

Jason, with supreme effort, pulling himself up on a console at 
the front of the room... Then Alex turns to see THE EARTH, HUGE, 
FILLING THE -:IENSCRE~N ----~ suddenh'7 we're...

BACK IN REAL TIME

And everyone is JOLTED as the ship hits the atmosphere heading 
STRAIGHT DOWN toward Earth at 20,000 miles an hour.

Suddenly Alexander, Guy, Mathesar and the remaining alien look up 
at the sound of a voice...
JASON (O.S.)
Mathesar...
*

*


























*
	~iz~; 9	- PINK)




Thev turn to see... JASON, swaying in tne miaa~e 0  the deck, 
bloodv, weaK, barely alive, but STANDING.

JASON
Activate... The Omega 13.

The survivors exchange expectant and terrified glances. Mathesar 
quickly moves to a control panel and pushes down a familiar 
SERIOUS-LOOKING LEVER and... THE ELABORATE MECHANISM, THE OMEGA 
13, UNFOLDS IMPOSSIBLY FROM THE FLOOR FRONT OF JASON.  Its center 
is a spinning cyclotron of energy. In front of Jason is a 
prominent LEVER.
IN
*

Jason turns to the others... nods a respectful goodbye... and 
'those alive watch in HORRIFIED ANTICIPATION as ON THE VIEWSCREEN 
- the GROUND rushes toward us and just as we hurdle into city 
PAVEMENT... Jason pulls the switch.

BLINDING WHITE.  And everything goes silent. Silent... Silent... 
Then suddenly a loud EXPLOSION like a sonic BOOM.
152  COMMAND DECK - 13 SECONDS EARLIER	152

Gwen, Alexander, Guy, and Tommy are all alive - busy at their 
stations as the Protector hurtles out of the black hole. Planets 
roar past them like bullets.

GWEN
We're out.'

They all exchange relieved smiles.

GUY
~e're alive!

TOMMY
We made it. Commander, we made it.'

ALEXANDER
By Grabthar's hammer, we live to tell the tale.

Jason looks around, disoriented.  It takes him a moment to 
register what is happening.  Everyone is alive. Everything is as 
it was 13 seconds ago.  He looks down at his chest... No 
wounds...  The OMEGA 13 is REAL.

COMPUTER (O.S.)
Systems register functional.

GWEN
All systems are working, Commander.
	,~ -cc	PINK)
-' C -




They look out 'to see ENTIRE GALAXIES whizzino bv 'them at 
incredible s~eed. Planets  need bv hike BULLETS.

TOMMY
We're going pretty fast Commander. Should


Jason starts walking quickly across the room, honoring him. The 
BARTH fills the viewscreen.

TOMMY
Jason, we're going pretty damn fast)...


Jason?
GWEN

But Jason just continues across the room, arriving at the 
entrance hatch ~ust as It OPENS and we only oct a GLIMPSE of 
Fred's smiling face before Jason buries his FIST in it. Jason 
pulls him up and throws him across the room.  As Fred hits a 
control panel, his appearance generator switch is triggered 
revealing him as SARRIS. He lays there unconscious. Alexander, 
Gwen and the others stare, bewildered and amazed.

JASON
Everybody stay put.  Tommy, slow this thing down.  Gwen-

Suddenly Sarris rises and pulls his gun, but is SMASHED square in 
the face by a METAL CRUTCH. We pan to Mathesar holding the 
crutch, with a supremely satisfied expression. Jason moves past 
him with a nod.    "T'~-l take it from here"
-ond DIVES on Sarris. . . The two LOCK in comoa...

TOMMY
Oh my god. Jason)...
*

On the viewscreen they are HURTLING straight Onto EARTH'S 
ATMOSPHERE. Jason, still battlIng Sarris, turns to a Crewman.

JASON
	;'~7e're 'too heav'~, ;~e 13	- -~ -
We've got to release the command module)

CREWMAN
Commander? At this speed, it is most dangerous to-

JASON
You're going to have to trust me on this)
RELEASE THE COMMAND MODULE)

Gwen raises FRED on her monitor.
	t~~/4/99	GOLDENROD)




GWEN
Fred, get to c level NOW, we're separating!

The crewman operates a CONTROL.  With Jason distracted, Sarrls 
pulls free and goes for his KNIFE... But they are both sent 
FLYING as the ship LURCHES and they are both sent flying as...
152A EXT. PROTECTOR	152A

The main bulk of the ship SEPARATES from the COMMAND MODULE and 
VEERS away,- curving of f the top of the atmosphere as the 
command module continues STRAIGHT DOWN TOWARD EARTH.
153  INT. BRANDON'S LIVING ROOM - DAY	153

Brandon's MOM AND DAD lounge on the couch reading the LA TIMES. A 
lazy Sunday afternoon.  The TV is on in the background...

ON TV: Perky E! ENTERTAINMENT REPORTERS share the latest gossip; 
an unflattering photo of Jason on the screen.

GOSSIP REPORTER
Has Galaxy Quest's Space Commander Jason
Nesmith checked in or checked OUT?  Jim
Dapperson reports from the- Galaxy Con
Science Fiction convention In Pasadena..

Cut to the REPORTER in front of the Convention center. A group of 
GALAXY QUEST fans wave at the camera behind him.

REPORTER
Hi Marsha, it is the third day of the
Galaxy Con and Jason Nesmith and his
GALAXY QUEST crew are no shows to the
event, much to the disappointment of the
QUESTOIDS gathered here.

He raises his microphone to a disappointed FAN dressed in a touon 
warri~                 =r-~~

WARRIOR ALIEN
We ~ust really feel let down.  I mean, part of the show is about 
sticking with
(MORE)

3/4ARRIDR ALIEN --octooc;
ur orienas no matter wnat
-& abandonea.
(wines a tear  rom ot5iaC ~'s  arc.

REPORTER
Do~you- tnink maybe... He's on space?

WARRIOR ALIEN ~-e you mocKong me?

REPORTER
neh heh... Digitize me, Marshai...

Anchor Marsha does one of those entertainment anchor laugh/sighs.  
Brandon's parents turn pages of their paper, not even watching 
the TV. Then BRANDON enters in a rush, two boxes of July 4th 
fireworks in his arms...

BRANDON
Bye! Back soon!

MOM
Wait, where are you going with those fireworks, Brandon?

BRANDON
(fast, in one breath) The Protector got super accelerated
coming out of the black hole and it ~ust nit the atmosphere at 
Mark 15 which is pretty unstable of course so we're going to help 
Laredo auide it in on the vox i'tra:reauencv carrier and use 
roman ~ndles for visual  onfirmation.

MOM
Okay, Hon. Dinner at seven.

Brandon exIts. Brandon's Dad gives Mom a glance.

MOM
Least  0'  cuosite.

On the televisoon in the background, a NEWS REPORTER appears.

REPORTER
We interrupt this broadcast to report tnat an unidentIfied ob~ect 
has broken trirough the Earth's atmosphere. I repeat-

Mom and Dad flip pages, not aware of the T,J at all.
-D~  1/2OLL~WOOD H2L~~

TourIsts are either dumbfounded or oc~o-:ocus a  THE M2N-I-
P?~TECTOR comes burninc throuch the atmosthere and over tne
Hollywood Slot

DD~~TOWN LA
55

Hundreds of people watch frozen as THE COMMAND MODULE  omes 
nurt~it~ across 'the sky, delIcately taklno off the flashina tip 
of the Bonavetture' 5 light tower.
156  134 FREEWAY	156

Traffic Jam on the 134.  A woman in a convertible Jeep listens to 
the radio, when suddenly the receptIon goes to static and we hear 
the broadcasted CHATTER from the PROTECTOR over the airwaves.

JASON (O.S.)
Hold course, Laredo!

TOMMY (O.S.)
I'm trying Commander... Everything's a blur, but as long as I 
stay locked to that vox signal...

GWEN (O.S.)
Tommy, look!  Those lights...

TOMMY (O.S.)
I see them!  I see them!
	RD STREET	PASADENA
57

BRANDON and his TEAM, along with a number or other HEROIC
NERDS, stand In their uniforms in a line on either side of
3rd street, blobs of fire shooting from their roman candles.
BRANDON stands at the front, holding his VOX transmitter
HIGH. We pan up to see THE PROTECTOR CAPSULE APPEARING over
the horizon... Gigantic and breathtaking.  It comes HURTLING own 
towaro tne ~ios.... I~ SOARS RIGHT Th~'E_ ~~~NDON then SLIDES to 
tne ground sparks blazina for another 500 feet... StraIght toward 
a large recognizable building... The site of the Galaxy Con. 
Right toward the banner which reads 0WELCOME SPACE TRAVELLERS!" 
and CRASHES riont intd the sIde of the building.
	158	NT. CONVENTION HALL	158

FANS RUN FOR THEIR LIVES as brick and olaster fly everywhere. The 
ship teeters it-a cloud of dust as It finally comes to
	4:26/99	PINK)



rest, halfway in and halfway out of the building, havino 
demolished the s'tage area...

Shocked sIlence. The fans... The sellers at their oootns. 
Everyone is frozen. The ANNOUNCER slowly rises from under his 
card table. Then we see 'the ship's main hydraulic HATCH open... 
A RAMP lowers to 'the ground and... A figur~e emerges... It's 
TOMMY, looking bruised and scarred and certainly the worse for 
wear.

The fans don't know how to react.... In the silence Tommy looks 
around the hall... Hundreds of faces look back at him. Then they 
begin to APPLAUD.  Tommy looks around, flabbergasted. Then - what 
the hell   he waves.  Seeing this, the Announcer raises his 
microphone, hesitantly.

ANNOUNCER
"Lt. Laredo", Tommy Webber!

Then Gwen appears, helping Fred down the ramp. He's limping, both 
as beat up and war-torn as Tommy, the three s-tand together and 
look out at the audience, shell-shocked.

ANNOUNCER.
The beautiful Tawny Madison... GWEN DEMARCO with Ship's Tech 
Sergeant Chen, Fred Kwan!

The fans applaud cheer and shout... Then Guy stumbles out, a cut 
on his head, looking disoriented. He looks out at the cheering 
fans...  The announcer isn't sure who he is..

ANNOUNCER
U.... Another shipmate...

Guy stares out at the hundreds of faces, then a smile creeps 
slowly onto his face.

GUY
I'm alIve... I'm-... I'm the plucky comic relief!  I'm the plucky 
comic relief!

HIs r~anIacal	~
everyone's attention turns to A FLICKERING CREATURE coming down 
the ramp with Alexander helping him. It is Mathesar, his 
"appearance generator" on the blink, and his entire body 
alternating between his human and alien form.

ANNOUNCER
Dr. Lazarus of Tev'Mek, Alexander Dane and... a friend!

The crowd continues to go nuts.
*
	4/2E/99	PINK)




FRED
	Mathesar ... Are 'you all rlaht?	*
	MATHESAR	*
We'll be fine now, 'thanks to all of


The fans then look up, astonished to see glimpses of HUNDREDS 
more of the aliens In the ship's portholes... Everything grows 
SILENT. They oan't believe their eyes. Then, suddenly as if all 
this weren't enough... There is a crash and...

JASON EMERGES WITH SARRIS, THE TWO LOCKED IN MORTAL COMBAT.
Sarris is bigger and meaner, but Jason has the advantage. He 
quickly overcomes Sarris, punching him again and again and again 
until Sarris collapses to the ground unconscious.

ANNOUNCER
Commander Peter Quincy Taggart... Jason Nesmith!

Jason, Gwen, Alexander, Fred, Tommy and Guy stand there, shoulder 
to shoulder, as the audience goes into a frenzy of applause... 
Whether it's real or not is no longer relevant to them. They're 
just JUBILANT.

Jason look out and spots Brandon and his friends in the back of 
'the room... With a look of true gratitude, Jason crosses his 
fists In the traditional GALAXY QUEST gesture of respect, and 
Brandon returns I't~ about to~burst with pride...

Then Jason DIPS Gwen, giving her a big kiss.  The crowd oheers, a 
teen female fan FAINTS.  Thev release, and Jason puzs his nanas 
in the air, taking in the adulation.  Gwen turns oo Alexander, 
flustered, as the audience cheers...

GWEN
He always has to make the big entrance.

ALEXANDER
By Grabthar's Hammer, this is true.
	159	NT. LIVING ROOM - SOMEWHERE - NIGHT	159

A cute little boy, no older than 6, lays on a carpet in front of 
his television, swinging his legs and munching on a bowl of 
popcorn.

On TV we see the opening to GALAXY QUEST, but now the effects are 
modern, TV quality CGI and Jason and the others are their current 
ages. The title comes up reading...

GALAXY QUEST, THE JOURNEY CONTINUES
~c as ~ shIp Wniozes paso ana -ouo 'to soace, one   ~O't~C  cv 
raises nis  ~otle fi~~ h~. -~he air and shouos, a  ovous oDarKIe 
in nis .......

LITTLE BOY
Never give up. Never surrender!

CUT TO BLACK:

The End.
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